how do you win?
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christine24t
Posts: 6,064 Member
Last night I met the cutest guy at the bar through a mutual friend, and he actually seemed to like me. We ended up leaving that bar to go to a bar with a dance floor. While at that bar, when we were dancing in a big group, he grabbed me and pulled me to him like he wanted me to dance with him.
The problem is that if I didn't dance with him, he might think that I didn't like him, but if I did, it makes me seem easy like I'll dance with any random guy I meet at the bar, and that I might not be great dating material.
I don't know whether he liked me any more than just a one night kinda thing so maybe this doesn't matter but what would you do in my situation if it happens again? Do you dance with him or not? I've been thinking about this the whole day and it's making me curious.
The problem is that if I didn't dance with him, he might think that I didn't like him, but if I did, it makes me seem easy like I'll dance with any random guy I meet at the bar, and that I might not be great dating material.
I don't know whether he liked me any more than just a one night kinda thing so maybe this doesn't matter but what would you do in my situation if it happens again? Do you dance with him or not? I've been thinking about this the whole day and it's making me curious.
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it's just dancing, not ****ing or making out...who cares how many guys you dance with?0
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What do you want to do ?
Quit thinking about what you think he wants you to do. That doesn't matter. You have to be YOU, not what you think others want you to be.
Did you dance with him?
If it was me, and I saw a cute guy, and he wanted to dance with me, girl, I'd get my boogie on!!!!0 -
Did you dance with him?
If it was me, and I saw a cute guy, and he wanted to dance with me, girl, I'd get my boogie on!!!!
Yes I did, and it was so much fun but the whole time I was thinking, "does this make a good impression on a guy?"0 -
Yes I did, and it was so much fun but the whole time I was thinking, "does this make a good impression on a guy?"
Good move, and you probably did make a good impression on the guy. :bigsmile:0 -
Okay, girl... here's the deal...
LOL
From experience: If he was dancing, and he wanted to dance with you, he is fine with it. He likes it. He didn't want you to say no. Now, there is a fine line between dancing and groping these days. I don't allow the groping necessarily, but I don't mind the dancing.
I have never had a guy tell me he didn't like me or thought I wasn't dating material because I danced with him. I've had them tell me I'm a good dancer. I've had them try to kiss me. LOL In fact, when I was younger and used to hit the dance floor all the time, most of the time, they wanted to talk to me, get my number, because I was just too freakin' hot. LOL And I danced. And I danced with them. So... there ya go. That's just from my experience in TX and AR.0 -
Last night I met the cutest guy at the bar through a mutual friend, and he actually seemed to like me. We ended up leaving that bar to go to a bar with a dance floor. While at that bar, when we were dancing in a big group, he grabbed me and pulled me to him like he wanted me to dance with him.
The problem is that if I didn't dance with him, he might think that I didn't like him, but if I did, it makes me seem easy like I'll dance with any random guy I meet at the bar, and that I might not be great dating material.
I don't know whether he liked me any more than just a one night kinda thing so maybe this doesn't matter but what would you do in my situation if it happens again? Do you dance with him or not? I've been thinking about this the whole day and it's making me curious.
*shaking my head*
Christine,you have to stop overreacting to the simplest of things as well as having panic when a guy indicates he likes you.
Just go with the flow.0 -
No, you're definitely right in over thinking this one. If I had a dollar for every girl who let me dance with them right before I kicked them to the curb, I would have like $17. That's a lot of dollars and a lot of girls who made a bad impression.
What you should have done is thrown your drink in his face. Not with your left hand, though, or he might assume you were a homosexual and using him to help win votes in the heterosexual community. I am assuming you are running for office.
Also, it should probably be a dark beverage. If you threw something milky or clear, he would assume you are a racist and invite you to his next Klan meeting. If you went to the meeting, of course, he would assume your were too easy and also dump you.
Don't refill your next drink with the same order, though. This of course gives the impression that you are an alcoholic and your body has adjusted to a very specific alcohol intake.
I would have thought this to be common knowledge.0 -
Did you dance with him?
If it was me, and I saw a cute guy, and he wanted to dance with me, girl, I'd get my boogie on!!!!
Yes I did, and it was so much fun but the whole time I was thinking, "does this make a good impression on a guy?"
I know ahead of time that this will sound really mean but when guys have told you before to get counseling to get over your fears, I think this is the type of thing they are meaning.
You know what doesn't make a good impression on a guy? Walking away from the dance floor because you were worried about your reputation after he relocated with you to a bar with a dance floor. At that point the only male attention you should possibly be seeking out is that of a proctologist so he can remove the stick from up there.0 -
No, you're definitely right in over thinking this one. If I had a dollar for every girl who let me dance with them right before I kicked them to the curb, I would have like $17. That's a lot of dollars and a lot of girls who made a bad impression.
What you should have done is thrown your drink in his face. Not with your left hand, though, or he might assume you were a homosexual and using him to help win votes in the heterosexual community. I am assuming you are running for office.
Also, it should probably be a dark beverage. If you threw something milky or clear, he would assume you are a racist and invite you to his next Klan meeting. If you went to the meeting, of course, he would assume your were too easy and also dump you.
Don't refill your next drink with the same order, though. This of course gives the impression that you are an alcoholic and your body has adjusted to a very specific alcohol intake.
I would have thought this to be common knowledge.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Yes I did, and it was so much fun but the whole time I was thinking, "does this make a good impression on a guy?"
Good move, and you probably did make a good impression on the guy. :bigsmile:
Good I just needed reassurance that it was okay and didn't make me look dumb.
But he didn't ask for my number.Walking away from the dance floor because you were worried about your reputation after he relocated with you to a bar with a dance floor. At that point the only male attention you should possibly be seeking out is that of a proctologist so he can remove the stick from up there.
I didn't walk away from the dance floor.
Don't know where that impression came from. We danced the whole night.
Trust me, I am a lot of fun - I love to go out and dance with random people. But I did like this guy so that was the difference, and I wanted him to like me back.Christine,you have to stop overreacting to the simplest of things as well as having panic when a guy indicates he likes you.
Just go with the flow.
I didn't panic. I was just curious. There is a difference.
For all of his indications, he didn't ask me out or for my number or anything.0 -
Yes I did, and it was so much fun but the whole time I was thinking, "does this make a good impression on a guy?"
Good move, and you probably did make a good impression on the guy. :bigsmile:
Good I just needed reassurance that it was okay and didn't make me look dumb.
But he didn't ask for my number.
NEXT!!!
Okay... there could be a million reasons why he didn't ask for your number. Don't sweat it. Don't overthink it. You're young. Just have fun. I promise you that if you will just let loose a little bit and have fun and let the guys see you having fun, you will attract more guys. They want to have fun. And you are attractive if you are having fun. Don't think too much. That scares them. And they can sense it...0 -
Walking away from the dance floor because you were worried about your reputation after he relocated with you to a bar with a dance floor. At that point the only male attention you should possibly be seeking out is that of a proctologist so he can remove the stick from up there.
I didn't walk away from the dance floor.
Don't know where that impression came from. We danced the whole night.
Trust me, I am a lot of fun - I love to go out and dance with random people. But I did like this guy so that was the difference, and I wanted him to like me back.
I didn't think you didn't dance with him. I thought you considered it because you were worried about your reputation and the impression you would have made. If you would have walked away it would have been time to remove the stick.0 -
Trust me, I am a lot of fun - I love to go out and dance with random people. But I did like this guy so that was the difference, and I wanted him to like me back.
Okay, let me get this straight. You normally do not have a problem dancing with random people, even guys? So... if you had chosen not to dance with him for fear of what he might think of you, you wouldn't really be showing him the real you, would you? Do you want someone to be a certain way just because he thinks that you would respect him more or would you rather meet someone who is comfortable enough to be himself no matter what, knowing that what you see is what you get?
I'm going to tell you something that you need to stick in your pocket and keep with you for the rest of your life, and pull it out whenever you start feeling this way. Okay?
STOP IT!!! Who cares what he thinks? If you want him to like you, he needs to like YOU, not the you that you will be just so that he will like you. That will never work. Even if it works for a little bit, only a couple things can come of it and none are good. A. You could end up resenting him because you are not being true to yourself. B. He could end up resenting you because you were not representing yourself truthfully.0 -
Okay, let me get this straight. You normally do not have a problem dancing with random people, even guys? So... if you had chosen not to dance with him for fear of what he might think of you, you wouldn't really be showing him the real you, would you? Do you want someone to be a certain way just because he thinks that you would respect him more or would you rather meet someone who is comfortable enough to be himself no matter what, knowing that what you see is what you get?
I'm going to tell you something that you need to stick in your pocket and keep with you for the rest of your life, and pull it out whenever you start feeling this way. Okay?
STOP IT!!! Who cares what he thinks? If you want him to like you, he needs to like YOU, not the you that you will be just so that he will like you. That will never work. Even if it works for a little bit, only a couple things can come of it and none are good. A. You could end up resenting him because you are not being true to yourself. B. He could end up resenting you because you were not representing yourself truthfully.
Not if they're creepy lol. But if they look normal and aren't grabbing my fat, then yeah I don't mind. It's fun.
And I didn't think about not dancing with him - I went for it. But it made me wonder if it was making a bad impression on him. But I do agree with what you said about showing the real me. I like that and I agree 100%. I did last night!0 -
No, you're definitely right in over thinking this one. If I had a dollar for every girl who let me dance with them right before I kicked them to the curb, I would have like $17. That's a lot of dollars and a lot of girls who made a bad impression.
What you should have done is thrown your drink in his face. Not with your left hand, though, or he might assume you were a homosexual and using him to help win votes in the heterosexual community. I am assuming you are running for office.
Also, it should probably be a dark beverage. If you threw something milky or clear, he would assume you are a racist and invite you to his next Klan meeting. If you went to the meeting, of course, he would assume your were too easy and also dump you.
Don't refill your next drink with the same order, though. This of course gives the impression that you are an alcoholic and your body has adjusted to a very specific alcohol intake.
I would have thought this to be common knowledge.
:flowerforyou: JHC....you're awesome!
Christine...next time you see a cute guy you kind of like and you're out dancing, grab his hand first and drag him out on the dance floor. He will think you're great and love that you initiated it. He may even ask for your number.0 -
Christine...next time you see a cute guy you kind of like and you're out dancing, grab his hand first and drag him out on the dance floor. He will think you're great and love that you initiated it. He may even ask for your number.
I don't have nearly enough confidence to do that - I usually just wait for a guy to come up to me, otherwise I dance by myself/with friends. It doesn't matter if I have a partner or not, it's fun either way.0 -
Not if they're creepy lol. But if they look normal and aren't grabbing my fat, then yeah I don't mind. It's fun.
:laugh: :laugh:
I'm with ya on that!!!0 -
So apparently we should apply the three date rule to each aspect of dating?
1st date = a hug
2nd date = a kiss
3rd date = let 'er rip
1st date = listen to music in a place that has a dance floor
2nd date = add a toe tap/seat dance while the music is playing
3rd date = Boggie!0 -
So apparently we should apply the three date rule to each aspect of dating?
1st date = a hug
2nd date = a kiss
3rd date = let 'er rip
1st date = listen to music in a place that has a dance floor
2nd date = add a toe tap/seat dance while the music is playing
3rd date = Boggie!
I guess I'm breakin' all the rules then!!0 -
Christine...next time you see a cute guy you kind of like and you're out dancing, grab his hand first and drag him out on the dance floor. He will think you're great and love that you initiated it. He may even ask for your number.
I don't have nearly enough confidence to do that - I usually just wait for a guy to come up to me, otherwise I dance by myself/with friends. It doesn't matter if I have a partner or not, it's fun either way.
Get that confidence and own it.
Christine you regularly talk about guys trying to get to know you,there is a reason that happens...you are not some horrid beast,you are an attractive young lady that refuses no matter what life serves up to believe that.
Start as of today.0
