Are men less manly?

NCTravellingGirl

So, my first reaction was YES they are less manly, but as I read through the posts and reconsidered, here's what I really think.

I believe in the past, there were more clearly defined "acceptable" gender roles. These things are said or done by men, and these are by women.

The difference with today is that the line is more blurred. Not only do men seem less manly, but women seem less feminine (not all, just a generalization).

When I left college with an engineering degree, I joined a workforce of mostly men, so I dressed less feminine and toughened up.... then I realized I missed feeling like a GIRL. So now I wear skirts, and get pedicures, etc... BUT I sure don't want any man thinking I have to do all the cooking or that a vacuum is an appropriate gift, haha....

So I don't think it's less manly, it's just a blurring of the lines of traditional gender roles...Make sense? I think it's true for men and women...

porcelain_doll

However, I suppose there's something ironic about a bunch of men debating if we're more or less manly within a "Single Peeps!" message board on a site that helps people monitor calories.

Could be just me, however...

--P

Good one!! LOL!

The_Iron

I typed this long @ss post about how men nowadays are every bit as manly as our forefather were.

But as I was typing on my beautiful pink hello kitty keyboard I broke a nail and said screw it!

You got the Hello Kitty keyboard? I am sooo jealous! I looked everywhere for it and it was always backordered! I had to settle for a My Little Pony keyboard and it's yellow. I am so sad.

It even has GLITTER!

Ok, Ok... fine! I'll just be over here chewing tobacco while hanging sheetrock and rebuilding this diesel engine!

Meghan0116

I typed this long @ss post about how men nowadays are every bit as manly as our forefather were.

But as I was typing on my beautiful pink hello kitty keyboard I broke a nail and said screw it!

You got the Hello Kitty keyboard? I am sooo jealous! I looked everywhere for it and it was always backordered! I had to settle for a My Little Pony keyboard and it's yellow. I am so sad.

It even has GLITTER!

Ok, Ok... fine! I'll just be over here chewing tobacco while hanging sheetrock and rebuilding this diesel engine!

BAHAHAHAHA :drinker:

AllanMisner

The fact that young men are much more willing to mooch off of their parents or a girlfriend is a clear indication that they are less manly that previous generations. As life in the US has gotten easier over the past century, men (in general) have become more feminine. Men used to provide for and protect their family. It was what was expected of them. Now, they may provide (unless the gf/wife can make more, then he'll househusband it) and they expect protection from others (police, etc.).

I don't think the incidence of domestic violence has gone down. There are just more women beating the crap out of men.

jesusHchris

I can't build a house with my bare hands. I could probably beat you up with them, though...

I don't know anything about football. I can brew excellent beer from scratch...

I don't change my own oil. I prefer super glue to hospital visits and stitches.

Sort of a draw, I guess.

DMZ_1

The fact that young men are much more willing to mooch off of their parents or a girlfriend is a clear indication that they are less manly that previous generations.

I don't see it that way. I see it as more of an economic shift that has hurt young men. Young men now are competing with young women for professional jobs, and there are fewer manufacturing jobs that typically went to young men.

christine24t

I don't know if they're less manly because I am so young, but I do get the sense they are. I think a lot of it is because of women gaining more rights and becoming more confident, and so it is becoming that the man doesn't have to be so strong. Maybe men don't feel like they have to be a "protector" and a "provider" but most women do in fact want that I think. At least I want that. I don't want him to have to give me money or whatnot, but I want him to be there for me and guard me, and I will be there for him in return.

I think it is acceptable for sure, so long as both couples agree it's okay.

I love the comedian Aaron Karo. He says, "Dear Future Wife: the most important job you will ever have is to kill spiders for me."

JanieJack

There are so many traits of my grandpa's generation that I wish today's men had: decisiveness, strength of character, commitment, personal responsibility, etc. OTOH, there are so many things from grandpa's generation I'm thankful fewer women have to deal with (women treated more like objects, domestic violence, being dependent on a man).

I think in every generation, that perfect combination of man who is strong and manly but still treats his women the way she feels loved is hard to find.

JanieJack

Also, one of my friends said that the reason many professionals in my generation are still single is that the men are all looking for women like their mother, and the women are all looking for men like their father, but society has changed so neither the men nor the woman themselves are like that previous generation.

lorro

No, I think men today are more manly. They cry and express their fears and anger and arent afraid of having a discussion about being manly!!

Men of yesteryear used to beat their wives and children and hide behind a pint of beer because they were emotionally suppressed! That's just cowardly!!

They could fix things because they weren't expected to go to school and get an education, they were expected to go out to their manual job and put food on the table.

Amen for progression! :flowerforyou:

I think the points raised about emotional expression and education are very interesting and fairly accurate. However, the generalization that most men used to beat their wives, and fewer do today, is not valid.

Well, lets just say 100 years ago it was an acceptable norm, but today domestic violence is an imprison-able offence.

Sorry to generalise, that's not my intent. My point was just about emotional expression being more acceptable these days :flowerforyou:

Yes, that makes sense.

Actually, the starting point of anger management (and domestic violence prevention) is often to help people learn the skills to recognise and express their emotions in other ways. Same with sustance/alcohol misuse (often used to avoid distressing emotions). Rigid gender stereotypes are a huge barrier to this. That's not to say these problems are things of the past, far from it. But they are less acceptabe as gender norms within many sections of society, not so much in others, nor in other cultures.

I think a lot of the points raised here will echo the nice guys discussions. Many people do want men who are emotionally intelligent and don't see this as unmanly, howeverthey also prefer people who are confident in themselves and know what they want. Much of the criticism is about guys who are weak as partners, either having no opinions of their own or being ambivalent about being in a relationship. To me this has little to do with men not being manly but I think some of the gender changes mean that these traits are more visible for what they are, whereas in the past they would have been hidden behind gender roles and suppressed.

castadiva

I think a lot of the points raised here will echo the nice guys discussions. Many people do want men who are emotionally intelligent and don't see this as unmanly, howeverthey also prefer people who are confident in themselves and know what they want. Much of the criticism is about guys who are weak as partners, either having no opinions of their own or being ambivalent about being in a relationship. To me this has little to do with men not being manly but I think some of the gender changes mean that these traits are more visible for what they are, whereas in the past they would have been hidden behind gender roles and suppressed.

Well said! Emotional self-awareness does not necessarily equal weak, though that is the stereotype that is often played up. There's a big difference between being emotionally open and being a shilly-shallying pushover who can't/won't commit to an opinion, let alone a relationship.

Prahasaurus

Also, one of my friends said that the reason many professionals in my generation are still single is that the men are all looking for women like their mother, and the women are all looking for men like their father, but society has changed so neither the men nor the woman themselves are like that previous generation.

I'm reminded of the joke:

"I finally found a woman who's just like my mother. She looks like her, she walks like her, she cooks like her, she talks like her, everything! I took her home to meet my family. My Dad hates her!"

;-)

--P