I found this to be relevant to some subjects in this group
Replies
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Lol.. well I've done it..but nothing has ever happened with me asking a man out other than the occasional coffee date, I get the feeling the men who've said yes were just humoring me anyway lol.
And believe me when I say. I'm not expecting a fairy tail I'm 35yo single woman the fairy tail ended a LONG time ago. But why can't there be something romantic about dating..it is just all gone. I don't think desiring romance = fair tail or delusional expectations.
Well I guess I should quit dating altogether then because they've only ever ended with someone getting hurt. What's the point in trying then, eh?
Like flam said it's fine that you like romance, but everyone is so paranoid these days it's not like a guy can invite someone over for a romantic candlelight dinner within the first few dates. But I'm the complete opposite as you, romance makes me feel stupid or like I'm trying too hard.
Kerry, I get what Roadie is trying to say and his point is valid. BUT, he's also never been in your shoes (or mine). I've asked out every guy I've ever "dated" because no one has ever asked me out. And those relationships went on longer than they should because they were too nice to say they just wanted to be friends, or more because on paper, I'm everything they're looking for but weren't attracted to me physically. It's not that I'm not willing to still ask someone out, but as every man on here has complained, it's tough to keep doing that without ever getting ANY positive reinforcement! Just ONCE I'd love it if someone I was interested in actually wanted me back...but hey, that's the fairy tale this 36 year old girl keeps having! So I've had to say no more whining and just accept my fate unless I'm willing to keep trying... and at this point, I'm not :sad:
Dang, Dave, sounds like you need a chill pill this morning from your posts
Fired up much?! I won't say anything further for fear of incurring your wrath...
Lol that's pretty much it I want to know I'm desired..and that is romantic to me. I've never felt that a man has desired ME before..romance is not a big showy thing in my mind..its someone who wants to know me really know me and shows it by the things they do and the way they treat me differently than the other people in their lives.
And Roadie is doing just fine the way he is going and that's awesome..if it works for him and the woman he's dating enjoys being with him they started with her asking him out great!and whoot! It just doesn't seem to work for me that way.
Please don`t think I am picking on or criticizing you here,this is just a perfect example of where I think women should take a deep breath and understand the danger of their emotions.
So many ladies here have posted things that make it clear early on in any relationship situation they are looking for and falling for a "feeling" that a guy triggers in them.
The problem is that it has nothing,repeat nothing to do with his character or quality yet once the buttons are pushed she will excuse everything until it becomes too much to bear.0 -
I might as well be the one to get the controversy rolling.
1. She wants you to ask. Despite the rhetoric you hear about the liberated woman, women still appreciate it when a guy asks her out on a date. They like when men take the initiative. I’ve heard lots of successful young professional women lament the fact that men don’t ask them out. They’re beautiful, smart, and charming, but don’t have a man. Be a man and ask these women out.
Fine and far and away been shown here but don`t be surprised when we get annoyed that your vision of equality ends when it means you lose an advantaged position of acceptance or rejection.
Woman up and be willing to face the same.
2. Asking is easy. Asking a woman out on a date isn’t rocket science. When you ask, though, do it in person or over the phone. If you’re poking a woman you’re interested in on Facebook, you lose any credibility as a man.
Poking is a silly thing,no one is asking for a date that way,a stupid inclusion to fill out the list.
3. Keep dates simple. Dates don’t have to be huge, expensive affairs. Keep it simple. If you want to keep things informal, ask her out for lunch or coffee. If you want a more romantic date, invite her over to your place and make dinner for her. She’ll be impressed that you know how to cook. The whole point of dating is to get some one on one interaction with a person to find out if she is someone you’d like to start a long term relationship with. Simple and frequent dates will assist you in this.
50/50 on this one,some ladies enjoy this it seems and others measure a mans desire by how much he spends so good luck guessing.
None are interested in a first,second,third or whatever date going to the guys house.
4. Prepare for rejection. Face it. Not every woman you ask out is going to say yes. Prepare for that. It’s no big deal if she says no. Think about it. You’re no worse off getting rejected than you were before you asked. You didn’t have a date with her before, you don’t have a date with her now. Your situation has not changed.
True and something both men and women need to accept and live with as hard as it can be.
5. Just do it, damn it. So what are you waiting for? Quit reading this post right now and pick up your cell phone. Call a woman and ask her on a date. Stop hanging out and start dating. Stop being scared of commitment. Commitment is liberating, not confining.
What??
Dating means an automatic commitment?
Maybe it should just mean to both a getting to know each other thing and see where it goes.
My take on it. :bigsmile:
1. yes she wants you to ask. I would never be comfortable asking a guy out. maybe hinting i wanna do something but he shud pick up on said hint and actually ask. example....i've been wanting to see xyz movie....guy: me too, would you like to go this wkend?
2. asking is easy, you dont need to come up with anything fancy - just ask
3. agreed, dates should be simple and I find that the better way to get to know someone and see how creative they can be.
fancy first date may be a little awkward if done over board. cooking and inviting the girl over = creepy.
relaxed afternoon having coffee and interesting conversation =
4. agree - don't take it personal. just do it.
5. see #4 above.
1) We are not mind readers,even if you can`t ever bring yourself to asking a guy please let him know more then just you want to see it.
He is also not keen on being turned down so let him know you want to see it WITH HIM.
2)So what is the hang up with not doing it yourself...don`t ask or expect a person to do what you refuse to.
It is a matter of respect.
3)Yes,and for all those that may regard a financial outlay as a measure of interest or desirability,put yourself in those shoes regarding having sex.
Suddenly seems different doesn`t it?
4 and 5) No need for further comment here either.0 -
Lol that's pretty much it I want to know I'm desired..and that is romantic to me. I've never felt that a man has desired ME before..romance is not a big showy thing in my mind..its someone who wants to know me really know me and shows it by the things they do and the way they treat me differently than the other people in their lives.
I agree with this completely. I don't want to have to do the asking because to me, it shows that the guy didn't like me enough to make a move, and I had to put the idea into his head. I don't want someone that doesn't want me - and I don't want to be a guy's backup choice.
I have had one guy who liked me before, and like you said, it wasn't some huge gesture he made. He just made it clear that he liked me and wanted to get to know me, and treated me different from his other friends.
Also, Dave, just curious - would you have asked out your current girl? Or did her asking you spark your attention toward her? Or were you planning on asking and she beat you to the punch?0 -
Idk. I'm not really sure about this whole woman "womaning up" and asking a man out. In my experience, if a man is interested, he'll ask me out. At the same time, I happen to be stuck in this completely weird idunnowhattocallit with a really good friend of mine. I'm pretty sure we're both interested, but we happen to be in the same group of friends, and it could be awkward if I ask him out and he says no. I mean, I still have to see him twice to three times every weekend. :noway: So, what happens in that situation?0
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Idk. I'm not really sure about this whole woman "womaning up" and asking a man out. In my experience, if a man is interested, he'll ask me out. At the same time, I happen to be stuck in this completely weird idunnowhattocallit with a really good friend of mine. I'm pretty sure we're both interested, but we happen to be in the same group of friends, and it could be awkward if I ask him out and he says no. I mean, I still have to see him twice to three times every weekend. :noway: So, what happens in that situation?
I agree with the first part and just have to say that I understand where you are coming from with the second part - that happened to me and the guy ended up making a move.
What if you hinted to him that you would like to hang out with him one-on-one? Bring up a topic you're both interested in, like a sport or a genre of movie or a band, and say, "we should go sometime together!" To me, that hints to him that you are interested in hanging out one-on-one, and he can hopefully pick up the ball and ask you out!0 -
I might as well be the one to get the controversy rolling.
1. She wants you to ask. Despite the rhetoric you hear about the liberated woman, women still appreciate it when a guy asks her out on a date. They like when men take the initiative. I’ve heard lots of successful young professional women lament the fact that men don’t ask them out. They’re beautiful, smart, and charming, but don’t have a man. Be a man and ask these women out.
Fine and far and away been shown here but don`t be surprised when we get annoyed that your vision of equality ends when it means you lose an advantaged position of acceptance or rejection.
Woman up and be willing to face the same.
2. Asking is easy. Asking a woman out on a date isn’t rocket science. When you ask, though, do it in person or over the phone. If you’re poking a woman you’re interested in on Facebook, you lose any credibility as a man.
Poking is a silly thing,no one is asking for a date that way,a stupid inclusion to fill out the list.
3. Keep dates simple. Dates don’t have to be huge, expensive affairs. Keep it simple. If you want to keep things informal, ask her out for lunch or coffee. If you want a more romantic date, invite her over to your place and make dinner for her. She’ll be impressed that you know how to cook. The whole point of dating is to get some one on one interaction with a person to find out if she is someone you’d like to start a long term relationship with. Simple and frequent dates will assist you in this.
50/50 on this one,some ladies enjoy this it seems and others measure a mans desire by how much he spends so good luck guessing.
None are interested in a first,second,third or whatever date going to the guys house.
4. Prepare for rejection. Face it. Not every woman you ask out is going to say yes. Prepare for that. It’s no big deal if she says no. Think about it. You’re no worse off getting rejected than you were before you asked. You didn’t have a date with her before, you don’t have a date with her now. Your situation has not changed.
True and something both men and women need to accept and live with as hard as it can be.
5. Just do it, damn it. So what are you waiting for? Quit reading this post right now and pick up your cell phone. Call a woman and ask her on a date. Stop hanging out and start dating. Stop being scared of commitment. Commitment is liberating, not confining.
What??
Dating means an automatic commitment?
Maybe it should just mean to both a getting to know each other thing and see where it goes.
My take on it. :bigsmile:
1. yes she wants you to ask. I would never be comfortable asking a guy out. maybe hinting i wanna do something but he shud pick up on said hint and actually ask. example....i've been wanting to see xyz movie....guy: me too, would you like to go this wkend?
2. asking is easy, you dont need to come up with anything fancy - just ask
3. agreed, dates should be simple and I find that the better way to get to know someone and see how creative they can be.
fancy first date may be a little awkward if done over board. cooking and inviting the girl over = creepy.
relaxed afternoon having coffee and interesting conversation =
4. agree - don't take it personal. just do it.
5. see #4 above.
1) We are not mind readers,even if you can`t ever bring yourself to asking a guy please let him know more then just you want to see it.
He is also not keen on being turned down so let him know you want to see it WITH HIM.
2)So what is the hang up with not doing it yourself...don`t ask or expect a person to do what you refuse to.
It is a matter of respect.
3)Yes,and for all those that may regard a financial outlay as a measure of interest or desirability,put yourself in those shoes regarding having sex.
Suddenly seems different doesn`t it?
4 and 5) No need for further comment here either.
Carl, I'm not even going to comment. Do you always have to be so pessimistic? or do u always need to have the last say? I dont get you. Its like you're looking for a girl but you're also pushing every person with a vagina away with all your posts.0 -
Uhm,sorry you apparently misinterpreted anything,it is a discussion forum so was replying back to your reply to me.I might as well be the one to get the controversy rolling.
1. She wants you to ask. Despite the rhetoric you hear about the liberated woman, women still appreciate it when a guy asks her out on a date. They like when men take the initiative. I’ve heard lots of successful young professional women lament the fact that men don’t ask them out. They’re beautiful, smart, and charming, but don’t have a man. Be a man and ask these women out.
Fine and far and away been shown here but don`t be surprised when we get annoyed that your vision of equality ends when it means you lose an advantaged position of acceptance or rejection.
Woman up and be willing to face the same.
2. Asking is easy. Asking a woman out on a date isn’t rocket science. When you ask, though, do it in person or over the phone. If you’re poking a woman you’re interested in on Facebook, you lose any credibility as a man.
Poking is a silly thing,no one is asking for a date that way,a stupid inclusion to fill out the list.
3. Keep dates simple. Dates don’t have to be huge, expensive affairs. Keep it simple. If you want to keep things informal, ask her out for lunch or coffee. If you want a more romantic date, invite her over to your place and make dinner for her. She’ll be impressed that you know how to cook. The whole point of dating is to get some one on one interaction with a person to find out if she is someone you’d like to start a long term relationship with. Simple and frequent dates will assist you in this.
50/50 on this one,some ladies enjoy this it seems and others measure a mans desire by how much he spends so good luck guessing.
None are interested in a first,second,third or whatever date going to the guys house.
4. Prepare for rejection. Face it. Not every woman you ask out is going to say yes. Prepare for that. It’s no big deal if she says no. Think about it. You’re no worse off getting rejected than you were before you asked. You didn’t have a date with her before, you don’t have a date with her now. Your situation has not changed.
True and something both men and women need to accept and live with as hard as it can be.
5. Just do it, damn it. So what are you waiting for? Quit reading this post right now and pick up your cell phone. Call a woman and ask her on a date. Stop hanging out and start dating. Stop being scared of commitment. Commitment is liberating, not confining.
What??
Dating means an automatic commitment?
Maybe it should just mean to both a getting to know each other thing and see where it goes.
My take on it. :bigsmile:
1. yes she wants you to ask. I would never be comfortable asking a guy out. maybe hinting i wanna do something but he shud pick up on said hint and actually ask. example....i've been wanting to see xyz movie....guy: me too, would you like to go this wkend?
2. asking is easy, you dont need to come up with anything fancy - just ask
3. agreed, dates should be simple and I find that the better way to get to know someone and see how creative they can be.
fancy first date may be a little awkward if done over board. cooking and inviting the girl over = creepy.
relaxed afternoon having coffee and interesting conversation =
4. agree - don't take it personal. just do it.
5. see #4 above.
1) We are not mind readers,even if you can`t ever bring yourself to asking a guy please let him know more then just you want to see it.
He is also not keen on being turned down so let him know you want to see it WITH HIM.
2)So what is the hang up with not doing it yourself...don`t ask or expect a person to do what you refuse to.
It is a matter of respect.
3)Yes,and for all those that may regard a financial outlay as a measure of interest or desirability,put yourself in those shoes regarding having sex.
Suddenly seems different doesn`t it?
4 and 5) No need for further comment here either.
Carl, I'm not even going to comment. Do you always have to be so pessimistic? or do u always need to have the last say? I dont get you. Its like you're looking for a girl but you're also pushing every person with a vagina away with all your posts.
If you look I pretty much agreed with everything you said other then to add about the "hint" part a lady needs to make it clear what she wants.
A somewhat indifferent statement about wanting to see a movie without any other indication of desire probably isn`t going to be enough for most guys to act on if he isn`t sure she means with him.
To me it just does seem contradictory for ladies to suggest that guys should freely and easily ask people out but then also say something along the lines of "I could never do it".
What is wrong with pointing that out as something to consider...that is kind of the purpose of having a conversation.0 -
Pick-Up Artist tip #1: always assume success, always assume interest from the girl.
Uhm,sorry you apparently misinterpreted anything,it is a discussion forum so was replying back to your reply to me.Carl, I'm not even going to comment. Do you always have to be so pessimistic? or do u always need to have the last say? I dont get you. Its like you're looking for a girl but you're also pushing every person with a vagina away with all your posts.
If you look I pretty much agreed with everything you said other then to add about the "hint" part a lady needs to make it clear what she wants.
A somewhat indifferent statement about wanting to see a movie without any other indication of desire probably isn`t going to be enough for most guys to act on if he isn`t sure she means with him.
To me it just does seem contradictory for ladies to suggest that guys should freely and easily ask people out but then also say something along the lines of "I could never do it".
What is wrong with pointing that out as something to consider...that is kind of the purpose of having a conversation.
This is probably the most important tip... because it is the most liberating one.
While I agree with Carl on the fact that we never actually know what the intentions of the woman are (and that it would be great to have clearer signs), I think at the end of the day it doesn't matter.
I just care about what I want with the girl, what my intentions are, and transform and interpret every sign to match my desires. In other words, what I think women think of me (level of interest) is really happening in my mind (which is why btw I'm glad somehow I'm the one doing the asking out, because I can ignore signs from women I'm not interested in and focus on signs from the women I'm interested in, whereas woman as it stands just throw hooks/signs around hoping the man they want will want them - so as long as you've got signs from a woman, as a man, you win every time whereas a woman who throws signs around will get ignored a fair bit).
This is actually the only way it could be anyway (since few people will just tell you upfront they are interested in you, they'll just throw hooks which the other person will or will not catch depending on their actual level of interest).
Now here is the interesting part, this world you constructed in your own mind actually often becomes a reality, like a self-fulfilling prophecy because of the way you start interacting with the said women.
For example, in the case of the cinema, I'd think "She's quite into me, she's talking about some movie... she wants me to invite her to the cinema" which you then do.
More generally, I think the reasons for this are because showing interest to someone (me) actually make them interested into you or at least "curious" about you (you're sure to - at the very least - raise the level of interest in the other person's mind, because even if they haven't thought about it before they will now evaluate you "sexually" or as a potential date/partner, etc. which is better than 99% of the people you see during the day as most interactions are assumed "friendly" by default), also partly because that makes you "pursue" the woman non-aggressively (as you know she's yours already) and being more persistent/consistent with what you want helps, partly because you show you know what you want and are very direct, also your body language adapts and becomes really confident/sexual with women you know are yours already... All of which are very attractive traits.
So yeah, always assume success, always assume interest. You can't lose with that. If she doesn't want, you've got so many options (in your constructed world) that it doesn't really matter.
Also someone has got to do the first step to escalate the relationships/the interactions, and by thinking this way you don't have any problems escalating.
I said earlier this is the most liberating tip, because you just stop wondering if you're "good enough" to interact with this or that girl, if she'll accept you or reject you, you just KNOW that she'll always want.0 -
If you want to know the whole story, we'd never officially met but a mutual friend was sort of trying to fix us up. I wasn't interested mainly because she has kids (that's a whole different conversation). One day out of the blue she asked me if I was going to a concert, and I said no but I'd like to if I could find tickets. Well it was sold out and we couldn't find tickets at a reasonable price so we decided not to go.Also, Dave, just curious - would you have asked out your current girl? Or did her asking you spark your attention toward her? Or were you planning on asking and she beat you to the punch?
So at that point I knew she at least had good taste in music and I thought it was cool that she put herself out there and asked knowing very little about me, so I was a little intrigued. I said it was too bad about the concert but since we were both free that night we could still meet up for a drink somewhere. I figured at the very least we could be concert buddies or something. I wasn't even that into her until about the third date, but we just had a lot of fun together.
So yeah, her asking me did spark my interest a bit. So many women just sit back and expect guys to do all the work, and if we don't act like we're in love with them by the second date they write us off. She was just really cool about everything and let things develop naturally, and the effort has always been about 50/50.0 -
Uhm,sorry you apparently misinterpreted anything,it is a discussion forum so was replying back to your reply to me.I might as well be the one to get the controversy rolling.
1. She wants you to ask. Despite the rhetoric you hear about the liberated woman, women still appreciate it when a guy asks her out on a date. They like when men take the initiative. I’ve heard lots of successful young professional women lament the fact that men don’t ask them out. They’re beautiful, smart, and charming, but don’t have a man. Be a man and ask these women out.
Fine and far and away been shown here but don`t be surprised when we get annoyed that your vision of equality ends when it means you lose an advantaged position of acceptance or rejection.
Woman up and be willing to face the same.
2. Asking is easy. Asking a woman out on a date isn’t rocket science. When you ask, though, do it in person or over the phone. If you’re poking a woman you’re interested in on Facebook, you lose any credibility as a man.
Poking is a silly thing,no one is asking for a date that way,a stupid inclusion to fill out the list.
3. Keep dates simple. Dates don’t have to be huge, expensive affairs. Keep it simple. If you want to keep things informal, ask her out for lunch or coffee. If you want a more romantic date, invite her over to your place and make dinner for her. She’ll be impressed that you know how to cook. The whole point of dating is to get some one on one interaction with a person to find out if she is someone you’d like to start a long term relationship with. Simple and frequent dates will assist you in this.
50/50 on this one,some ladies enjoy this it seems and others measure a mans desire by how much he spends so good luck guessing.
None are interested in a first,second,third or whatever date going to the guys house.
4. Prepare for rejection. Face it. Not every woman you ask out is going to say yes. Prepare for that. It’s no big deal if she says no. Think about it. You’re no worse off getting rejected than you were before you asked. You didn’t have a date with her before, you don’t have a date with her now. Your situation has not changed.
True and something both men and women need to accept and live with as hard as it can be.
5. Just do it, damn it. So what are you waiting for? Quit reading this post right now and pick up your cell phone. Call a woman and ask her on a date. Stop hanging out and start dating. Stop being scared of commitment. Commitment is liberating, not confining.
What??
Dating means an automatic commitment?
Maybe it should just mean to both a getting to know each other thing and see where it goes.
My take on it. :bigsmile:
1. yes she wants you to ask. I would never be comfortable asking a guy out. maybe hinting i wanna do something but he shud pick up on said hint and actually ask. example....i've been wanting to see xyz movie....guy: me too, would you like to go this wkend?
2. asking is easy, you dont need to come up with anything fancy - just ask
3. agreed, dates should be simple and I find that the better way to get to know someone and see how creative they can be.
fancy first date may be a little awkward if done over board. cooking and inviting the girl over = creepy.
relaxed afternoon having coffee and interesting conversation =
4. agree - don't take it personal. just do it.
5. see #4 above.
1) We are not mind readers,even if you can`t ever bring yourself to asking a guy please let him know more then just you want to see it.
He is also not keen on being turned down so let him know you want to see it WITH HIM.
2)So what is the hang up with not doing it yourself...don`t ask or expect a person to do what you refuse to.
It is a matter of respect.
3)Yes,and for all those that may regard a financial outlay as a measure of interest or desirability,put yourself in those shoes regarding having sex.
Suddenly seems different doesn`t it?
4 and 5) No need for further comment here either.
Carl, I'm not even going to comment. Do you always have to be so pessimistic? or do u always need to have the last say? I dont get you. Its like you're looking for a girl but you're also pushing every person with a vagina away with all your posts.
If you look I pretty much agreed with everything you said other then to add about the "hint" part a lady needs to make it clear what she wants.
A somewhat indifferent statement about wanting to see a movie without any other indication of desire probably isn`t going to be enough for most guys to act on if he isn`t sure she means with him.
To me it just does seem contradictory for ladies to suggest that guys should freely and easily ask people out but then also say something along the lines of "I could never do it".
What is wrong with pointing that out as something to consider...that is kind of the purpose of having a conversation.
maybe i did misinterpret you. what did u mean by your respond to my #3?
"3)Yes,and for all those that may regard a financial outlay as a measure of interest or desirability,put yourself in those shoes regarding having sex.
Suddenly seems different doesn`t it?"0 -
maybe i did misinterpret you. what did u mean by your respond to my #3?
"3)Yes,and for all those that may regard a financial outlay as a measure of interest or desirability,put yourself in those shoes regarding having sex.
Suddenly seems different doesn`t it?"
That I agreed with you and in reference to what I had stated in the original,it seems about a 50/50 for ladies (not specifically ones here in single peeps) that want it simple and inexpensive to those that have an emotional value attached to something fancier or lavish.
I am betting most would not like (and rightly so) if a guy held the same make or break attitude regarding sex.0 -
If you want to know the whole story, we'd never officially met but a mutual friend was sort of trying to fix us up. I wasn't interested mainly because she has kids (that's a whole different conversation). One day out of the blue she asked me if I was going to a concert, and I said no but I'd like to if I could find tickets. Well it was sold out and we couldn't find tickets at a reasonable price so we decided not to go.Also, Dave, just curious - would you have asked out your current girl? Or did her asking you spark your attention toward her? Or were you planning on asking and she beat you to the punch?
So at that point I knew she at least had good taste in music and I thought it was cool that she put herself out there and asked knowing very little about me, so I was a little intrigued. I said it was too bad about the concert but since we were both free that night we could still meet up for a drink somewhere. I figured at the very least we could be concert buddies or something. I wasn't even that into her until about the third date, but we just had a lot of fun together.
So yeah, her asking me did spark my interest a bit. So many women just sit back and expect guys to do all the work, and if we don't act like we're in love with them by the second date they write us off. She was just really cool about everything and let things develop naturally, and the effort has always been about 50/50.
I really like this story Roadie. I'm glad you gave her a chance. And it has inspired me!! Not all men think like you do - a lot like the chase, and a lot are chauvinistic, a lot just like taking the lead - but from you and Carl and a few other guys in here, the tide is definitely changing in favour of nothing wrong in women doing the asking :flowerforyou:0 -
"Gave her a chance"? "Like the chase" and "taking the lead"? "Doing the asking"? These comments do not really match what I read here... I wouldn't even say the woman did any of this (chased, led, asked).
I really like this story Roadie. I'm glad you gave her a chance. And it has inspired me!! Not all men think like you do - a lot like the chase, and a lot are chauvinistic, a lot just like taking the lead - but from you and Carl and a few other guys in here, the tide is definitely changing in favour of nothing wrong in women doing the asking :flowerforyou:so I was a little intrigued.
[...]
I figured at the very least we could be concert buddies or something.
[...]
we just had a lot of fun together.
[...]
So yeah, her asking me did spark my interest a bit. So many women just sit back and expect guys to do all the work, and if we don't act like we're in love with them by the second date they write us off. She was just really cool about everything and let things develop naturally, and the effort has always been about 50/50.
To me it looks like they went out in a friendly way at first, nothing official like "Ok I'm asking you on a date" and there was no chase involved either, just two people that had similar interests and like to hang around each other. Removes a lot of the pressure too...
This is normally the way I like things as well. There was this conversation about people not "dating" any more in another thread, but instead just "hanging out", and I just realised I might be one of them. I think you still have to be able to escalate and "commit" (to an extent) though.0 -
"Gave her a chance"? "Like the chase" and "taking the lead"? "Doing the asking"? These comments do not really match what I read here... I wouldn't even say the woman did any of this (chased, led, asked).
I really like this story Roadie. I'm glad you gave her a chance. And it has inspired me!! Not all men think like you do - a lot like the chase, and a lot are chauvinistic, a lot just like taking the lead - but from you and Carl and a few other guys in here, the tide is definitely changing in favour of nothing wrong in women doing the asking :flowerforyou:so I was a little intrigued.
[...]
I figured at the very least we could be concert buddies or something.
[...]
we just had a lot of fun together.
[...]
So yeah, her asking me did spark my interest a bit. So many women just sit back and expect guys to do all the work, and if we don't act like we're in love with them by the second date they write us off. She was just really cool about everything and let things develop naturally, and the effort has always been about 50/50.
To me it looks like they went out in a friendly way at first, nothing official like "Ok I'm asking you on a date" and there was no chase involved either, just two people that had similar interests and like to hang around each other. Removes a lot of the pressure too...
This is normally the way I like things as well. There was this conversation about people not "dating" any more in another thread, but instead just "hanging out", and I just realised I might be one of them. I think you still have to be able to escalate and "commit" (to an extent) though.
Well, she made the first move then Florian!! Don't be so pedantic!!! :laugh:
I will have to PM you/meet up for wine soon? I'm a bit out the loop lately. Been busy selling kitchens! :bigsmile:
Hope you're well - love the new pic! lol :flowerforyou:0 -
Yeah to me it's not at all about the chase or who asked who. It's just about meeting someone you click with, it doesn't matter how. If I tried to chase someone I would likely end up being pepper sprayed and given a restraining order.
"Gave her a chance"? "Like the chase" and "taking the lead"? "Doing the asking"? These comments do not really match what I read here... I wouldn't even say the woman did any of this (chased, led, asked).
I really like this story Roadie. I'm glad you gave her a chance. And it has inspired me!! Not all men think like you do - a lot like the chase, and a lot are chauvinistic, a lot just like taking the lead - but from you and Carl and a few other guys in here, the tide is definitely changing in favour of nothing wrong in women doing the asking :flowerforyou:so I was a little intrigued.
[...]
I figured at the very least we could be concert buddies or something.
[...]
we just had a lot of fun together.
[...]
So yeah, her asking me did spark my interest a bit. So many women just sit back and expect guys to do all the work, and if we don't act like we're in love with them by the second date they write us off. She was just really cool about everything and let things develop naturally, and the effort has always been about 50/50.
To me it looks like they went out in a friendly way at first, nothing official like "Ok I'm asking you on a date" and there was no chase involved either, just two people that had similar interests and like to hang around each other. Removes a lot of the pressure too...
This is normally the way I like things as well. There was this conversation about people not "dating" any more in another thread, but instead just "hanging out", and I just realised I might be one of them. I think you still have to be able to escalate and "commit" (to an extent) though.
To me the difference between dating and hanging out is all about what you do when you're together. If you invite someone over to play Call of Duty I'd say that's hanging out. If you go out to a nice dinner and finish a bottle of wine that's more like a date. Making out helps too.0 -
Yeah, being a bit pedantic that's true...Well, she made the first move then Florian!! Don't be so pedantic!!! :laugh:
I will have to PM you/meet up for wine soon? I'm a bit out the loop lately. Been busy selling kitchens! :bigsmile:
Hope you're well - love the new pic! lol :flowerforyou:
The idea I wanted to express, really, is if you think of initial dates almost as two "friends" meeting each other (which I do, and the way it also happened in their case), it doesn't really matter who asked who out.
For example, I don't remember who talked to me first/invited me first when I'm thinking about my friends (males or females).
Whereas suddenly when it's about a potential date it becomes completely important that the man does the asking out (kind of), yet you don't know the outcome of the date.
This actually makes dating more "stressing" for no real reason, as IMHO the first dates are more about determining if the person who you are dating (acquaintance) can make it to the "friend zone" (80%) or even better to the "date zone" (20%). Since chances are the person will be (at best) a friend, it's like asking that all your male friends initiate the conversation with you.
Incredibly busy as well, we've got a few people who signed with us... But definitely up for a drink or something, I was thinking about this actually this morning!0 -
I SO agree with #3 of the article. I was just talking to a guy friend of mine about it yesterday.0
