Help! Mutual friends! Cannibals! Poop!
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SwannySez
Posts: 5,860 Member
Oh my fellow MFPs (that's My Fitness Pals as opposed to MFPers which would be My Fitness Palers which makes little or no sense grammatically and makes the baby Jesus weep), I am locked on the horns of a dilemma of the worst sort! It's become clear to me that one or my of my friends might not like one or more of my other friends or one or more of my friends is sleeping with one or more of my other friends or one or more of my friends has taken it upon themselves to slaughter and dispose of the bodies of one or more of my other friends or someone I don't know has asked me why I don't like someone they know but I don't. I think you can see what I am getting at here.
So what should I do?
My natural inclination is to make an offering of rum and slaughtered chicken to Jobu and wait for him to settle things.
But what if in this case it requires me to take action of a more direct means? If I have to, like, delete one of my friends, what will I say to the others? The might ask questions and what then? I mean I don't want to make waves or anything, but I think you can tell that having friends who are engaged in the above behaviors is something that has the distinct ability to harshen my mellow.
So I put it to you, the wise and generous souls of Not Douche-ville, should I
a) make a few more threads like this
b) go with the Jobu option
c) hope that the people see this and do the right thing
d) finish this diet vanilla coke and go to sleep
e) stare at porn some more
f) deactivate and re-emerge like a phoenix named "NotSwannySez"
g) smear poop on the computer and put ketchup on my *kitten* (to be fair this is my daughter's suggestion as a cure-all for ANYTHING)
h) pray to Brian Boitano
Thank you for your help! I love ALL of you! Every m*therf*cking one!
So what should I do?
My natural inclination is to make an offering of rum and slaughtered chicken to Jobu and wait for him to settle things.
But what if in this case it requires me to take action of a more direct means? If I have to, like, delete one of my friends, what will I say to the others? The might ask questions and what then? I mean I don't want to make waves or anything, but I think you can tell that having friends who are engaged in the above behaviors is something that has the distinct ability to harshen my mellow.
So I put it to you, the wise and generous souls of Not Douche-ville, should I
a) make a few more threads like this
b) go with the Jobu option
c) hope that the people see this and do the right thing
d) finish this diet vanilla coke and go to sleep
e) stare at porn some more
f) deactivate and re-emerge like a phoenix named "NotSwannySez"
g) smear poop on the computer and put ketchup on my *kitten* (to be fair this is my daughter's suggestion as a cure-all for ANYTHING)
h) pray to Brian Boitano
Thank you for your help! I love ALL of you! Every m*therf*cking one!
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Replies
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You just gotta go with the jobu option SwanMan!0
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You've made me give a hearty belly laugh!
Your situation is a unique one. While I must suggest eating clean and avoiding meals after midnight (Just a good practice in general), the social dynamic takes a bit more finesse.
First, slaughter the chicken. Take it to the Outdoor Cooking Arts group and have it properly seasoned with the rum and other various sugar-free options. Jobu appreciates the effort.
If you make a few more threads like this, people are bound to see it and take their matters in their own hands, thus alleviating you of all fault. Unless of course they get sick of the threads first, and decide to just take you out back and gang rape you.
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES drink Diet Vanilla Coke while looking at porn.. you remember what happened to Michael Hutchence...
The whole ketchup/poop smear thing was debunked as childhood hearsay in 2003. Please update your records.
Deactivate and return AS Brian Boitano. That should do the trick.0 -
You are SO wise, Miss K.0
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Drink jobu's rum, smear poop on everything ,and... dear god, that russian pole vault chick is the hottest peice of *kitten* of ever seen. I'm sorry, what were we talking about?0
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Oh...Milo...hmmmmm, this IS awkward...0
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poop, there it is.0
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All of the above Swanny. You must do all of the above.0
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But in what order? There has to be order to it! Without order there is...ANARCHY! ANARCHY! ANARCHY!All of the above Swanny. You must do all of the above.0 -
I know how to build a Pine Cone Bird Feeder.0
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Amock! Amock! Amock!
But in what order? There has to be order to it! Without order there is...ANARCHY! ANARCHY! ANARCHY!All of the above Swanny. You must do all of the above.0 -
You've made me give a hearty belly laugh!
Your situation is a unique one. While I must suggest eating clean and avoiding meals after midnight (Just a good practice in general), the social dynamic takes a bit more finesse.
First, slaughter the chicken. Take it to the Outdoor Cooking Arts group and have it properly seasoned with the rum and other various sugar-free options. Jobu appreciates the effort.
If you make a few more threads like this, people are bound to see it and take their matters in their own hands, thus alleviating you of all fault. Unless of course they get sick of the threads first, and decide to just take you out back and gang rape you.
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES drink Diet Vanilla Coke while looking at porn.. you remember what happened to Michael Hutchence...
The whole ketchup/poop smear thing was debunked as childhood hearsay in 2003. Please update your records.
Deactivate and return AS Brian Boitano. That should do the trick.
He he he he..cough ...cough ...gasp! Whew! ! ! Best laugh I've had all day! Swanny if you're there I think you should listen to Kourtney...I haven't read anyfurther than her post....don't need to this is completely insanely awesome advice!
Kourtney...thanks for the laugh. And you look great in your profile pic!0 -
I. All of the above.
Your welcome.
As for order. You always start with Brian then follow with Jobu.0
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