This Disease
motherfloyd
Posts: 10
Hi,
I am new to MFP but I am a food addict, and have been in OA since 2008 after a long relapse. I have released around 70 lbs so far, I like to say released cause I don't want to find it again. ha ha
A little of my story, I hit a plateau a year or so ago and I was so frustrated. I go to meetings, have been abstinent for 3 1/2yrs, do service etc.... I kept looking at my food plan and thought okay what do I need to change, or give up. This is the cleanest and healthiest I have eaten in my entire life. I wasn't craving food or was even hungry. So I figured I need to get my @ss back in the gym and start working out again. I got a trainer and after exercising everyday and working with her two days a week, I weighed in and NOTHING, not a pound lost. I thought God how much more do I have to give up. My trainer kept asking me about my food and I kept saying my food is good it doesn't change. I felt a little defensive (don't mess with my food).
She asked to see my food plan for a few days to figure out what is going on. Well she looked at it and said,"your not eating enough. You are eating maybe a little over a 1000cal a day. " She told me the more I work out the more I have to eat. Being an addict that just freaked me out and it has been a little hard for me to wrap my mind around that cause it feels counterproductive.
This is what I am learning: What I thought was my Higher Power wanting me to give up more food was really my disease saying, "If your not going to overeat then you are going to undereat, either way I am going to get you." How much do we cling to our food plans when they don't work? I had to be willing to let go of the old and try something new. So this is why I'm here on MFP cause when I thought I knew everything, I know nothing. When the student is ready the teacher appears. lol
I am new to MFP but I am a food addict, and have been in OA since 2008 after a long relapse. I have released around 70 lbs so far, I like to say released cause I don't want to find it again. ha ha
A little of my story, I hit a plateau a year or so ago and I was so frustrated. I go to meetings, have been abstinent for 3 1/2yrs, do service etc.... I kept looking at my food plan and thought okay what do I need to change, or give up. This is the cleanest and healthiest I have eaten in my entire life. I wasn't craving food or was even hungry. So I figured I need to get my @ss back in the gym and start working out again. I got a trainer and after exercising everyday and working with her two days a week, I weighed in and NOTHING, not a pound lost. I thought God how much more do I have to give up. My trainer kept asking me about my food and I kept saying my food is good it doesn't change. I felt a little defensive (don't mess with my food).
She asked to see my food plan for a few days to figure out what is going on. Well she looked at it and said,"your not eating enough. You are eating maybe a little over a 1000cal a day. " She told me the more I work out the more I have to eat. Being an addict that just freaked me out and it has been a little hard for me to wrap my mind around that cause it feels counterproductive.
This is what I am learning: What I thought was my Higher Power wanting me to give up more food was really my disease saying, "If your not going to overeat then you are going to undereat, either way I am going to get you." How much do we cling to our food plans when they don't work? I had to be willing to let go of the old and try something new. So this is why I'm here on MFP cause when I thought I knew everything, I know nothing. When the student is ready the teacher appears. lol
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Replies
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This makes such sense to me, this disease is sneaky! I am so grateful to hear your story thank you0
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That is one of the reasons I am using MFP - I wasn't eating enough calories, and I hit a plateau.0
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I am amazed how my visual perception is so distorted. The food I measure now is nothing to what I was eating before.
thanks for reading:)0
