Support from friends.......
chezileigh
Posts: 255
Hi guys,
When I first came on MFP I thought it was odd how many people seemed to have strict criteria on who they would accept as friends, and if a certain friend wasn't helping them or whatever, they would delete them. I saw a few threads about this when I first started using the site again a few weeks ago.
Anyway, I've started to feel a bit like that myself now. First I had two friends who had added me without a message and I wasn't sure why, but accepted them. I soon realised that they were both people who had lots of friends and tended to get lots of responses to their status, including from me. One of them was always going on about people who don't respond to their friends' status' and how it was unsupportive. Then after a week or so of having her I started to get a bit annoyed with her constant motivational meaningless BS posts. One of them was clearly song lyrics from a well known song and lots of people were saying "well put, good on you" and stuff like that. When I asked was this not from a particular song she didn't respond. Then I scrolled through my own posts and realised she had NEVER responded to one of them. Deleted her. Also deleted the other at the same time as she hadn't responded to even one of my status' either.
Then I felt ok again, my 28 friend are all supportive and seem to be like minded. But now in the last few days, one of them who is obviously having a really really hard time, and is also very young, has started to post about things like cutting herself. I really feel bad for this person and wish I could say something to help, but I have no experience in this sort of thing and to be honest I find it fairly shocking, it's making me not want to read my feed. I don't want to delete her because she seems nice and tries to be supportive, but I just find her present situation difficult to help with or cope with myself.
Do you guys have anyone hidden?
When I first came on MFP I thought it was odd how many people seemed to have strict criteria on who they would accept as friends, and if a certain friend wasn't helping them or whatever, they would delete them. I saw a few threads about this when I first started using the site again a few weeks ago.
Anyway, I've started to feel a bit like that myself now. First I had two friends who had added me without a message and I wasn't sure why, but accepted them. I soon realised that they were both people who had lots of friends and tended to get lots of responses to their status, including from me. One of them was always going on about people who don't respond to their friends' status' and how it was unsupportive. Then after a week or so of having her I started to get a bit annoyed with her constant motivational meaningless BS posts. One of them was clearly song lyrics from a well known song and lots of people were saying "well put, good on you" and stuff like that. When I asked was this not from a particular song she didn't respond. Then I scrolled through my own posts and realised she had NEVER responded to one of them. Deleted her. Also deleted the other at the same time as she hadn't responded to even one of my status' either.
Then I felt ok again, my 28 friend are all supportive and seem to be like minded. But now in the last few days, one of them who is obviously having a really really hard time, and is also very young, has started to post about things like cutting herself. I really feel bad for this person and wish I could say something to help, but I have no experience in this sort of thing and to be honest I find it fairly shocking, it's making me not want to read my feed. I don't want to delete her because she seems nice and tries to be supportive, but I just find her present situation difficult to help with or cope with myself.
Do you guys have anyone hidden?
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Replies
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That's a really sad situation. The poor girl needs more help than she is going to find online.
I don't have a huge online friend group so I don't have much experience with this sort of thing. I'll give you my opinion anyway. You came to this site because you have a goal for yourself and if this girls posts are disturbing to you then they are not helping you reach your goal. I'm sure you are sympathetic to her and if you could really help her you would. I would not feel bad about hiding her posts.0 -
Thanks.0
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Hi, thats so sad and such a difficult position for u, u r obviously a caring person (or else u wouldnt be worrying), it is hard to be selfish when you have a strong sense of empathy but this person isnt yours to worry about, hide her posts, her posts may not even be real... this place is for mutual support and encouragement. If somebody is making you feel negative then they are not supporting you.
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Thanks Jo I appreciate that xxxx0
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And I'm pretty sure when you signed up for mfp, you didn't sign up for the responsibility of a stranger and her problems. I know you may feel badly for her, as we all do, but this is not the place to deal with it. I also think it's great that you care about her, but really, its ok...hide her.
I just don't get how so many people seem to have hundreds of friends...how do they keep up?0 -
No idea how they keep up either, well, the truth is they don't do they? Like I said, the two who added me and had hundreds didn't comment on even one of my status, so why add a person for no reason at all? Weird actually
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