Hot for Neighbor.
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I have a different take on this. I had a friend who started dating the guy that lived across the street from her. Long story short, the relationship turned into hellfire and because of the rotten housing market, both of them still live there and it is very uncomfortable for her. She wishes it had never happened. I liken it to dating someone that sits next to you at work. Not to sound negative, but if it goes south, you are pretty much stuck there for an indefinite amount of time. Not every situation is like hers, obviously, and of course two adults can act like two adults and not have drama about it. But since you just met her, you know little about her, including how she would handle a potential break-up. Just food for thought (and I guess I'm playing devil's advocate here).0
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Long story short, the relationship turned into hellfire and because of the rotten housing market, both of them still live there and it is very uncomfortable for her. She wishes it had never happened.
Good point. Can you imagine a terrible break-up, then trying to date someone else? You bring the new gf back to your house, the neighbor goes ballistic, starts screaming outside of your window, throwing beer bottles at your door, etc., etc. She's monitoring anyone and everyone that comes to your house 24/7. Sending her kids over when you're with the new gf to ask why you dumped their mom, etc. Outdoor barbecues would definitely be a no go.
Oh well, probably won't come to that. Probably.
Good luck!
--P0 -
Speaking as a single mom of 2 kids... I would much rather someone show their interest in me by getting to know me casually and building a friendship. It's a turn-off when a man asks me out as a way to "mark his territory".
Time is on your side here... get to know her, do nice neighborly things for her. If you rush into the physical side of things, it's sure to turn sour quickly. Good luck! :flowerforyou:0 -
Here's a thought...I don't know if you are handy with tools and things, but as a single mom in my 40s with two kids, I am not. Maybe the next time you can engineer a run in and have a chat, ask her how the move in is going and maybe see if there is an opportunity to offer to help her with anything...hanging pictures, blinds...you know, manly tool stuff. I know I'd be grateful and impressed.
^^^ THIS. good way to itneract with her under no pressure
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Seems to be a variety of opinions on this subject! Interesting.
When it all boils down to it, you should be you and do what you feel most comfortable with. If you want to ask her to hang out now but you're waiting just because we told you to, you might just hype yourself up in your head and when the time comes to actually ask her out you might be super nervous and eff up.
If you do what feels most comfortable to you, then you're being yourself. And hey, if she rejects, then she's not the one anyway. 0 -
yes.
where's your balls?0 -
I think she moved into the correct house!!! Ask her.0
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The consensus is that I should go for it next time I see her. That's the gameplan.
Hopefully our paths will cross this weekend and I'll have an entertaining story for everyone next week :drinker:0 -
Consensus? Maybe on page 2. I thought the page 1 consensus was to give her a chance to get settled in. Good luck and cheers! :drinker:The consensus is that I should go for it next time I see her. That's the gameplan.
Hopefully our paths will cross this weekend and I'll have an entertaining story for everyone next week :drinker:0 -
The consensus is that I should go for it next time I see her. That's the gameplan.
Hopefully our paths will cross this weekend and I'll have an entertaining story for everyone next week :drinker:
You must have not read the first page...you gotta wait a while. Don't freak her out by being that guy ...0 -
Come on now, Mike can and will do what he wants. It's clear he wants to ask based on his responses through the thread. If that's what you want, Mike, go for it!0
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You must have not read the first page...you gotta wait a while. Don't freak her out by being that guy ...
?????? :noway:
Mike... ASK HER OUT!0 -
THIS is exactly why men think women are confusing! LOL
Some say give it some time, others say go for it today. I'm going to make a point to run into her this weekend. I'll just see how the conversation goes after 10 minutes or so. If I get the feeling she's even slightly interested, I'm just going for it.
It seems like every time I hesitated in life, I always missed out. So, if the situation presents itself, I'm going for it.0 -
Well if it was me I probably wouldn't, but I think you should because drama is entertaining when it is somebody else.0
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Do it, just be tactful. Just the usual basically... Don't come across as the annoying pushy guy who absolutely wants her in bed, come across as a friendly neighbour who is slightly interested in her at this stage and would like to know more.THIS is exactly why men think women are confusing! LOL
Some say give it some time, others say go for it today. I'm going to make a point to run into her this weekend. I'll just see how the conversation goes after 10 minutes or so. If I get the feeling she's even slightly interested, I'm just going for it.
It seems like every time I hesitated in life, I always missed out. So, if the situation presents itself, I'm going for it.
I mean would anyone seriously say "You're such a creep sir, you're talking to me! How very dare you!". I might be naive, but I believe most people are friendly.
You really have to be an @sshole/b*tch or not interested to push back people for no apparent reason (talking about her, here!), and in both cases I couldn't care less if you don't want to talk to me then. It's a win-win!0 -
*** UPDATE ***
On Saturday late afternoon, I was about to run some errands and who do I see.. Gilda (the hot neighbor). She was listening to music in her garage and putting together this wire shelving thing for her wine. I went over to say hi and asked her if she needed some help (in my mind, I was thinking this is exactly how I envisioned it playing out.. and this is how most porno's start!). So I helped her for about an hour and I suggested that we celebrate the finished project and pop a bottle of wine. She told me to pick up crackers and cheese and stop by later that night.
Fast forward to 9:00, I stopped by and she is looking great (wearing a dress and looking nice). We opened a bottle of wine and the cheese and crackers and ended up talking from about 9:00 - 12:30 at night. The conversation was flowing and she even taught me to salsa dance a little. Dancing isn't my thing, but I totally gave it 100% to impress her and try to win her over. If I'm interested in someone, I can talk for hours and hours, so there definitely wasn't any awkward silences or anything. She completely opened up about how she was married for almost 20 years and it was a completely loveless marriage etc. She also told me about guys she dated recently, which I thought was weird, but she reassured me that she's definitely single now. She asked me if I was single and my dating history. The date ended with a hug and kiss on the cheek as I made my 15 second walk back to my place.
OK, here's the kicker. Even though conversation was flowing and we both had a nice time, I'm just not 100% sure if she's interested or not. I flirted in a couple of subtle ways. For instance, we were both sitting at her kitchen table and I made foot contact.. she moved her foot away. I would complement her, telling her she was "really pretty and wouldn't have any problem meeting people here in south Florida". She smiled and said thanks, but didn't complement me back.
So in short.. she we did some flirty things (i.e. talk about dating, danced), but she was a kind of unresponsive to my other flirting attempts. So it's definitely up in the air. I texted her on Sunday night saying I had a nice time, she responded and said she had a great time as well. We made tentative plans to hang out again after work this week.. I just really hope she doesn't view me solely as being a friend.
What's your take on it?0 -
What's your take on it?
Sounds to me like she is interested but treading carefully. The unresponsiveness to your flirting might not be because she's not into you, but possibly other personal things that have nothing to do with you (i.e. low self-esteem from a 20-year loveless marriage; trying to make a new life for herself and figure out/remember what she likes and doesn't like).
Or maybe she's wondering herself how smart it is to get involved with the hot neighbor.0 -
I think she might be interested, but just unsure as of yet.Just take some time and get to know her and see how things progress...don't stop the contact or the slight flirtiness, but wait for her to respond to make the flirting more obvious.0
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3.5 hours is a long time to talk, but ultimately an indicator of nothing. It is certainly better than a shorter time, but a woman will spend that amount with a friend so it doesn't separate you from the pack.
I don't like the foot contact indicator.
At the stage you are at, there's really one great indicator, and that's the kiss. If you have a kiss with a small degree of passion or more in it, then it is real. If not, then not so much.0 -
3.5 hours is a long time to talk, but ultimately an indicator of nothing. It is certainly better than a shorter time, but a woman will spend that amount with a friend so it doesn't separate you from the pack.
I don't like the foot contact indicator.
At the stage you are at, there's really one great indicator, and that's the kiss. If you have a kiss with a small degree of passion of more in it, then it is real. If not, then not so much.
Good call on the kiss. Normally, I would have ALWAYS gone for it on the first date if it went well.
However, the last thing I would want would her to be not interested and then share an awkward kiss. We live right next door to each other and I'd hate to have her feel uncomfortable in her own home. If I'm going in for the kiss, I have be pretty sure it's headed in that direction.
We are suppose to get together this week, so I should have a better idea after hangout session #2.0
