I screwed up again... loneliness ruled my heart
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i keep reading this as loneliness ruined my shirt
Had I let things go too far while making out with him... it could have ruined my shirt.
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After my separation and a bit after my divorce I said I'd never ever marry again. That has changed since. I wasn't in live with ex at all, I was completely over him and the marriage but the new freedom and adjusting to just you is something that takes time to process.
His response saying he should have never married her is typical of someone who hasn't healed or processed everything. Good for you for seeing that as a red flag. My ex husband says similar responses (he cheated) and he is now remarried. Again, typical of someone who didnt get it.
I had done a lot of work on myself before deciding to divorce him and even then, I put myself in therapy for help with the transition and talked to friends and family. I was too afraid to keep things in and end up bitter. I also reflected a lot on how I went wrong during those 11 years.
Anyway, good luck! Don't feel bad. Live and you learn!
Thanks La - I've done a lot of work on myself too and I appreciate hearing that you agree about his lack of healing. It's nothing against him... it takes time, and there's nothing wrong with where he's at in the process. It's just not where I'm at.0 -
I for one don't think someone should be written off just because a divorce hasn't been "officially" signed off on. It's just paperwork. I have been seperated and living apart from my wife for over a year now. The financials have been sorted out and paid in full. Now it's just waiting for the court system to "process" the paperwork so I can have a piece of paper telling me I am no longer married. I've dated on and off since our split, I've done the rebound thing and now I am ready to start looking again. I would hate for someone to pass on me because I am, for all intents and purposes, still "legally" married.
Hmmm I never realized this was such a big issue...I'm technically still married. My (ex) husband and I seperated over 6 years ago. We never had any property and the only thing we share are the kids so neither of us was ever in a big hurry to get divorced. In fact I was in a 5 yr long term relationship after this and he and his GF have been together 6 yrs now. We are finally pushing the divorce through cause they just had a baby and I think they want to get married. But I always introduce myself as single and We introduce each other to people as the ex so and so...No one has ever commented on it and it certainly has never slowed the guys down
This is a really interesting topic. I think I'm pretty open minded in general about dating, but I do not want any part of someone who is still married - whether it's because of a technicality or not. I'm not judging here, but I hope those who are still married are at least up front about that fact because I do see it as a potential deal breaker.0 -
This is a very interesting point of debate. I have not encountered this particular situation much in my own dating experience, as divorcees usually are not in my target female audience. It is somewhat rare to find divorced women under 30. Bad marriages take a lot of time to run their course. But I digress.
Where I currently live most people are usually on their 2nd marriage by 30. Marry their highschool sweet hearts, have a couple kids, divorced by 25.0 -
I for one don't think someone should be written off just because a divorce hasn't been "officially" signed off on. It's just paperwork. I have been seperated and living apart from my wife for over a year now. The financials have been sorted out and paid in full. Now it's just waiting for the court system to "process" the paperwork so I can have a piece of paper telling me I am no longer married. I've dated on and off since our split, I've done the rebound thing and now I am ready to start looking again. I would hate for someone to pass on me because I am, for all intents and purposes, still "legally" married.
I understand what you're saying, but if I were dating you and you said that you NEVER wanted to be married again - that sort of trumps everything, if that's what I want for myself someday, right?0 -
I for one don't think someone should be written off just because a divorce hasn't been "officially" signed off on. It's just paperwork. I have been seperated and living apart from my wife for over a year now. The financials have been sorted out and paid in full. Now it's just waiting for the court system to "process" the paperwork so I can have a piece of paper telling me I am no longer married. I've dated on and off since our split, I've done the rebound thing and now I am ready to start looking again. I would hate for someone to pass on me because I am, for all intents and purposes, still "legally" married.
I understand what you're saying, but if I were dating you and you said that you NEVER wanted to be married again - that sort of trumps everything, if that's what I want for myself someday, right?
Oh I completely agree. Everyone has thier deal breakers and it sounds like this guy hasn't got his emotions sorted out yet. I'm certainly not opposed to getting married again but it's not a must for me. I'm just saying that all people who are still technically married under law aren't necessarily "emotionally unavailable"
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Oh I completely agree. Everyone has thier deal breakers and it sounds like this guy hasn't got his emotions sorted out yet. I'm certainly not opposed to getting married again but it's not a must for me. I'm just saying that all people who are still technically married under law aren't necessarily "emotionally unavailable"
I suppose that's true... although as someone who seems to have a radar for the "emotionally unavailable" man in the crowd, I think it's still a bad idea for *me*. But, I can appreciate that sweeping generalizations aren't very fair. Thanks for that.0
