Daughter is having BPDS Sept 9, How can I best support her?

HealthyLivingKathy

My DD is having BPDS on Sept 4th and I'm wondering how I can best support her? I live with her (SIL and GS) and will be the caregiver, driver, etc after surgery. She is saying my eating will not bother her or the smell of food. I do have transplant doctor's (I have a heart transplant) permission to join her in the liquid diet if I wish. DD says it isn't necessary. SIL has also offered to "eat" what DD is eating.

I just want to be supportive so was wondering, were there things after surgery that drove you crazy? helped? that you wished others had done or known?

Any info is appreciated.

pjmcinnis

First, God Bless you! The best that you can offer is love and support. It won't take long before she knows what she can and can't have. In my first week home, jello was a treat and it's basically liquid. Let her try whatever she is ready for. Once she is back on real food... i eat off a bread and butter plate with a "pie fork" and it takes me a long time to eat that little bit. She won't necessarily eat everything every time... and that's OK. If she leaves it on her plate, she knows when she has had enough.

The one thing I had trouble with as I started getting back to solid food was the feeling of food being "stuck" in my eosophagus. Usually the only way to get past that feeling was to throw it up, but it was never a violent "sick", almost just a bubble-up. Sometimes I had to "help" with a spoon but there would definately come a point where I would lose that "stuck" feeling. Don't panic, it's okay, she will not starve to death... she may then eat or just give it up until the next meal. Think of it like feeding a baby, fluids, to soft foods, to diced up food.

As long as the weather is clear, she should get out and walk just a little a few times a day... My surgery was in January, so I walked at the Mall with the seniors in the early mornings.

Getting those vitamins in can be challenging, she may need to have a dosette to sort them it to help her remember when to take what... I picked up a few at the dollar store so I only fill them up every three weeks or so.

Grandson will have to be careful, no jumping on mom (you didn't mention how old he is), and he will want to help too, so maybe he can bring her some Jello, or join her with a bowl of his own.

That's all I've got for you for now. Good luck to you all, and keep the happy/poitive enery/ thoughts as you get nearer her surgery.

Elizabeth360

I stayed with my mom for a little more than a week after surgery. It was nice just to have her support. Like pj said, don't worry if she feels ill or think she's going to starve to death. If she's made it this far towards surgery, she will be strong enough to get through this. That being said... I had no interest in food the first 2 weeks. It did not bother me at all if people ate in front of me. I tried to get my broth or Jell-o and "eat" with my family because it kept me on schedule. The most helpful thing my mom did was nag me about getting enough fluids! She made me a chart (drink 4 oz. between 9 and 11am, etc.) that helped put the amount I had to drink in perspective. Good for you for helping her out!