When women say "I don't have female friends"
JanieJack
Posts: 3,831 Member
Are there any stereotypes that come to mind when you hear a woman say this??
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Replies
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In a word, trouble.0
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I only have about 3 or 4 female friends... Most of my friends are male . Its always been that way. I was very much a tomboy growing up and have kept alot of those tendencies. The few female friends I have are also tomboyish0
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In a word, trouble.
I've heard guys say this before... but no one has explained to me why. Why is a girl who says this trouble?0 -
I don't trust girls that say they don't have female friends either. They are usually the *****y ones that want to control the guys they are friends with. Then they get upset when their guy friends find girlfriend that aren't them and tend to get dropped to the side. I think people should have a good mix of girl and guy friends.0
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I have 2 CLOSE friends.
One is a male, and one is a female.
I find it hard to maintain a lot of friendships, because I like my alone time and that usually translates to someone as me not having time or wanting to be around them. I also had a very dramatic lifestyle shift, and lost a lot of "friends" due to my new way of living. But in the past, I have mostly been friends with guys because they are low maintenance, and I don't want my friendships to feel like work.0 -
I used to be friends with predominantly men simply because most women don't get along with me. I don't have the personality type that a lot of girls expect from another women. That being said things kind of balanced themselves out. I discovered that I get along fine with men and women, and that age is more of a factor than gender (I tend to get along better with people a few years my senior).0
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She's one of those women that hates women, is catty, *****y and bitter and surrounds herself with guy friends because they are drama freeeeeeeeeee - not realizing she has made herself a cloud of drama worth 5 women.0
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Are there any stereotypes that come to mind when you hear a woman say this??
I don't like a female who runs around wirh a bunch of chicks so when a woman tells me this I like it cause I know her attention will be focused on where it needs to be....on me.0 -
I used to be friends with predominantly men simply because most women don't get along with me. I don't have the personality type that a lot of girls expect from another women. That being said things kind of balanced themselves out. I discovered that I get along fine with men and women, and that age is more of a factor than gender (I tend to get along better with people a few years my senior).
Same for me - I've had periods of time when most of my friends where male. It had a lot to do with my environment, being in the sciences, and I think my brain is wired a bit like a man's in many ways. I'm not a girly girl, so I can't relate to a lot of women who are into going shoe shopping and getting makeovers and such. I was friends recently with a woman like that (one of the first people I met in California) but she was way too high maintenance for me in too many ways for the friendship to be sustainable.0 -
Are there any stereotypes that come to mind when you hear a woman say this??
I don't like a female who runs around wirh a bunch of chicks so when a woman tells me this I like it cause I know her attention will be focused on where it needs to be....on me.
So you would prefer a woman that has all male friends or are you the kind that just wants all their attention and prefer them not to have any friends at all?0 -
My best friend is male.
I have a few girlfriends too, although none as close as male.
I think we should stop judging and making people into stereotypes cos you just dont know anyone's personal circumstances.
Its not the case that 1 + 1 = 2 with such a subjective situation. Why on earth would you not 'trust' someone just because they are doing something that you wouldnt do? :flowerforyou:0 -
I have 6 close girlfriends and about 7 close guy friends. So, pretty even. Two of my close girlfriends I've known since 1993. Others were developed after moving to Columbus in 2004. Some days I'd prefer to tell my guy friends stuff and some days I'd prefer to hang out with my girls.
I don't think it's something that should be used to decide if a person is good...0 -
I don't have many (one or two) true female friends. I have never been a girly girl. I hate shopping, makeup, and the "typical" stero type of what a girl is supposed to be. I work in a male dominate field, and I think more like the men I work with than the women.
I find the women, especially those I work around are catty and full of drama, of which I want no part of (hence why I do not like having women friends).0 -
Just to clarify…
I'm not asking if there's any right or wrong here... what I'm asking is what are the stereotypes that go along with women saying this. Like I commented to DMs post, I've heard guys say they don't want women who say this and I'm trying to figure out why.
It's like guys saying they don't want to date someone religious or who is waiting for marriage... a lot of times it's because they expect the woman will be a prude. I personally know this isn’t always true (given my experience as a pastor's wife and hearing the wild stories from other pastors’ wives) but at least I now know that's what is running through guys' minds when I tell them I'm waiting for marriage.
So Men… when you meet a new lady, and she tells you this, why don’t you want to date her? You can PM me if you’d rather not post here ;-) I wanna know what is running through guys minds when a woman says she doesn’t get along with women and has mostly guy friends.
FWIW, before I married I had mostly all male friends b/c I couldn’t get along with women. They were dramatic, mean, spiteful, and I just didn’t understand their competitiveness. Guys were so much easier to get along with. Then in marriage, I had almost NO friends due to the deteriorating nature of the household. Now that I'm single again, I depend upon my chicas and even though I like “guy things” like football, paintball (and now motorcycles!!) I find that most of my friends are now women.0 -
To the girls saying they don't have girl friends because they don't like girly things. Most girls I know are not girly girls. I find my friends while doing things I enjoy and have a mixture of girl and guy friends. Most my girl friends I have actually met through sports and doing "guy things". Some of my best girl friends and I met through a nascar fan forum.0
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I had a friend of mine tell me that he wouldn't date a girl with a whole bunch of guy friends for a few reasons. If a girl says she has mostly male friends, RED FLAG. NOT my opinion, but an opinion I've heard.
What I've heard from men....
1. Men and women simply can't sustain close friendly relationships. One is probably attracted to the other. And one will probably act on it one day. Most likely with alcohol involved.
2. She's probably slept with some of them(or will), because if you spend enough time around someone... It's bound to happen.
3. They aren't really her "friends". They're more like back-up plans.
4. She has self-confidence issues and feels inferior to other women, thus stays away from them to eliminate "competition".
5. "If she screws me over, how can I bang one of her friends if they're all men?"0 -
I had a friend of mine tell me that he wouldn't date a girl with a whole bunch of guy friends for a few reasons. If a girl says she has mostly male friends, RED FLAG. NOT my opinion, but an opinion I've heard.
What I've heard from men....
1. Men and women simply can't sustain close friendly relationships. One is probably attracted to the other. And one will probably act on it one day. Most likely with alcohol involved.
2. She's probably slept with some of them(or will), because if you spend enough time around someone... It's bound to happen.
3. They aren't really her "friends". They're more like back-up plans.
4. She has self-confidence issues and feels inferior to other women, thus stays away from them to eliminate "competition".
5. "If she screws me over, how can I bang one of her friends if they're all men?"
Wow never thought of it like #3.... that seems really true!!0 -
I have two close friends, one of each but the male is gay. So does that make it two girls? j/k
But seriously people just connect with whoever they are going to connect with, regardless of sex.
People outgrow friendships. They change as our interests change.0 -
In a word, trouble.
I've heard guys say this before... but no one has explained to me why. Why is a girl who says this trouble?
Because there is usually a reason they don't get along with women which is a massive red flag...they're über-competitive around men, all of the male attention has to be on them, they love to gossip about their other friends.
I met a girl in college who told me "I've never had female friends really" and it didn't take long to figure out why.
It's fine not to like girly stuff. But if you don't get along with a whole gender...? Thats a red flag.0 -
I had a friend of mine tell me that he wouldn't date a girl with a whole bunch of guy friends for a few reasons. If a girl says she has mostly male friends, RED FLAG. NOT my opinion, but an opinion I've heard.
What I've heard from men....
1. Men and women simply can't sustain close friendly relationships. One is probably attracted to the other. And one will probably act on it one day. Most likely with alcohol involved.
2. She's probably slept with some of them(or will), because if you spend enough time around someone... It's bound to happen.
3. They aren't really her "friends". They're more like back-up plans.
4. She has self-confidence issues and feels inferior to other women, thus stays away from them to eliminate "competition".
5. "If she screws me over, how can I bang one of her friends if they're all men?"
1. My male best friend and I have been friends for 25 years!
2. Nope, never slept with him.
3. Good grief!! Grow some brain cells please! Not all of us think with our genitals!
4. Ermm, is this guy for real?.....lol
5. Typical of the thought process of a thicko!!
Sorry, but this kind of unconsidered BS just irritates me.......... no offence to the poster. I know you said they weren't YOUR thoughts :flowerforyou:0 -
I had a friend of mine tell me that he wouldn't date a girl with a whole bunch of guy friends for a few reasons. If a girl says she has mostly male friends, RED FLAG. NOT my opinion, but an opinion I've heard.
What I've heard from men....
1. Men and women simply can't sustain close friendly relationships. One is probably attracted to the other. And one will probably act on it one day. Most likely with alcohol involved.
2. She's probably slept with some of them(or will), because if you spend enough time around someone... It's bound to happen.
3. They aren't really her "friends". They're more like back-up plans.
4. She has self-confidence issues and feels inferior to other women, thus stays away from them to eliminate "competition".
5. "If she screws me over, how can I bang one of her friends if they're all men?"
1. My male best friend and I have been friends for 25 years!
2. Nope, never slept with him.
3. Good grief!! Grow some brain cells please! Not all of us think with our genitals!
4. Ermm, is this guy for real?.....lol
5. Typical of the thought process of a thicko!!
Sorry, but this kind of unconsidered BS just irritates me.......... no offence to the poster. I know you said they weren't YOUR thoughts :flowerforyou:
We argued for about 15-20 minutes before I realized it was a lost cause...0 -
I had a friend of mine tell me that he wouldn't date a girl with a whole bunch of guy friends for a few reasons. If a girl says she has mostly male friends, RED FLAG. NOT my opinion, but an opinion I've heard.
What I've heard from men....
1. Men and women simply can't sustain close friendly relationships. One is probably attracted to the other. And one will probably act on it one day. Most likely with alcohol involved.
2. She's probably slept with some of them(or will), because if you spend enough time around someone... It's bound to happen.
3. They aren't really her "friends". They're more like back-up plans.
4. She has self-confidence issues and feels inferior to other women, thus stays away from them to eliminate "competition".
5. "If she screws me over, how can I bang one of her friends if they're all men?"
1. My male best friend and I have been friends for 25 years!
2. Nope, never slept with him.
3. Good grief!! Grow some brain cells please! Not all of us think with our genitals!
4. Ermm, is this guy for real?.....lol
5. Typical of the thought process of a thicko!!
Sorry, but this kind of unconsidered BS just irritates me.......... no offence to the poster. I know you said they weren't YOUR thoughts :flowerforyou:
We argued for about 15-20 minutes before I realized it was a lost cause...
Yep, Lost cause! And probably yearning to have a close female friend if he could only keep his d!ck in check!! :laugh:0 -
I have about 3 best girlfriends, one of which I get to see all the time because of location. Another that lives out of state and another that just got married and is busy with married life. I also have numerous male friends. One is like a brother and a few others have been co-workers or are former classmates.
I grew up in a town that only had one other female in my age group. She was my best friend and we hung around with all of the boys because that was our option. Does that make us trouble because we hung around with mostly boys due to our surroundings?0 -
I had a friend of mine tell me that he wouldn't date a girl with a whole bunch of guy friends for a few reasons. If a girl says she has mostly male friends, RED FLAG. NOT my opinion, but an opinion I've heard.
What I've heard from men....
1. Men and women simply can't sustain close friendly relationships. One is probably attracted to the other. And one will probably act on it one day. Most likely with alcohol involved.
2. She's probably slept with some of them(or will), because if you spend enough time around someone... It's bound to happen.
3. They aren't really her "friends". They're more like back-up plans.
4. She has self-confidence issues and feels inferior to other women, thus stays away from them to eliminate "competition".
5. "If she screws me over, how can I bang one of her friends if they're all men?"
Wow never thought of it like #3.... that seems really true!!
this really hurts me.
1. never happened to me
2. ive never slept with a guy friend in my entire effing life
3. which means theyd never be a backup plan - my backup plan and a surprise stranger that suddenly lights up my world
4. nah, i have tons of girlfriends all over the 7 continents, Im cool - just realised this doesnt apply to me HAHA
yay well adjusted0 -
She's one of those women that hates women, is catty, *****y and bitter and surrounds herself with guy friends because they are drama freeeeeeeeeee - not realizing she has made herself a cloud of drama worth 5 women.
Just like this.0 -
We can argue about whether someone is right or wrong to shy away from women who don't have a lot of female friends, but I find that I know more single women who fit that description (don't have a lot of female friends, think more like a guy than a woman, don't care about the normal girly stuff of "regular girls") than I do single women who are the "normal typical girl."
So even if the guys are foolish to discount those of us who might prefer male friends, I'm seeing that there is a trend there. And I don't necessarily agree with the reasons people are giving...they certainly don't apply to me... but perhaps we should think twice before using that phrase early in a first date.0 -
I had a friend of mine tell me that he wouldn't date a girl with a whole bunch of guy friends for a few reasons. If a girl says she has mostly male friends, RED FLAG. NOT my opinion, but an opinion I've heard.
What I've heard from men....
1. Men and women simply can't sustain close friendly relationships. One is probably attracted to the other. And one will probably act on it one day. Most likely with alcohol involved.
2. She's probably slept with some of them(or will), because if you spend enough time around someone... It's bound to happen.
3. They aren't really her "friends". They're more like back-up plans.
4. She has self-confidence issues and feels inferior to other women, thus stays away from them to eliminate "competition".
5. "If she screws me over, how can I bang one of her friends if they're all men?"
Fire your guy friends. These are all grossly judgmental not to mention dumb.0 -
I had a friend of mine tell me that he wouldn't date a girl with a whole bunch of guy friends for a few reasons. If a girl says she has mostly male friends, RED FLAG. NOT my opinion, but an opinion I've heard.
What I've heard from men....
1. Men and women simply can't sustain close friendly relationships. One is probably attracted to the other. And one will probably act on it one day. Most likely with alcohol involved.
2. She's probably slept with some of them(or will), because if you spend enough time around someone... It's bound to happen.
3. They aren't really her "friends". They're more like back-up plans.
4. She has self-confidence issues and feels inferior to other women, thus stays away from them to eliminate "competition".
5. "If she screws me over, how can I bang one of her friends if they're all men?"
1. If you aren't the one with feelings/sexual desires for him, don't drink around him because he wants to nail you.
2. See #1, it's only a matter of time.
3. Not really relevant to you and him unless you have all guy friends. However, not only does he want to nail you, he really resents you for making him wait until you exhaust every other option that is out there.
4. See #3
5. With his attitudes toward women in general, homosexuality isn't really that far of a stretch.0 -
4. She has self-confidence issues and feels inferior to other women, thus stays away from them to eliminate "competition".
Part of me believes this, and part of me doesn't.
The girl I was discussing earlier was very confident in herself. The problem with that is when you're with a group of girls, being super confident in yourself can backfire. Her attitude and pride in herself just got too much to take, and she wouldn't hesitate to snipe at us about dumb things. She also gossiped about the others girls to us. She once started to say something negative about my best friend - like I wouldn't tell her? I That got annoying fast, because if she saying this to me about my friend, what was she saying about me behind my back? I don't gossip about my friends to my other friends -that is just wrong.
In that case, she didn't get along with girls because she was too confident.
However, I can see it being the opposite issue, that you are not confident around people of your own gender, so you would rather just not be friends with them in the first place.We can argue about whether someone is right or wrong to shy away from women who don't have a lot of female friends, but I find that I know more single women who fit that description (don't have a lot of female friends, think more like a guy than a woman, don't care about the normal girly stuff of "regular girls") than I do single women who are the "normal typical girl."
I get this. But the point I tried to make earlier is that is one thing if you just don't currently have any girlfriends. But if you don't get along with women in general, that is an issue.0 -
I wish I had more close female friends but the reality is everyone, male and female, in my life right now is super busy. Everyone is getting married and having babies and a lot of my female friends have less time to spend with me because they are with their kids.
My best friend is male and I have a lot less super close male friends the older I get but women are hard to get to know at this age because most of the females I meet are again pre-occupied with other things.
I think everyone needs to keep on mind that people of all ages are on here and at different ages different things are important and maturity levels are very different. Opinions vary due to that greatly I'm sure. If you had asked me 4 years ago my response would be a very different one.0
This discussion has been closed.