When women say "I don't have female friends"
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I did some googling and this came up from howaboutwe.com
"Okay, let’s not beat around the bush: for women who date men, women with no female friends are The Worst.
This is the woman who will have no qualms about flirting with the guy you’ve been talking to all night at the party.
This is the one who will break every rule of Girl Code.
This is the woman with whom your boyfriend will cheat on you, (not that it’s her fault, it’s his fault, of course).
This is the woman who won’t ever set you up with her cute single friend, even though she isn’t in love with him, even though she has a boyfriend.
This is the woman who is BFF with your boyfriend, but who will make absolutely no effort to befriend you. And you have tried.
This is the woman who is crazy territorial about the 6 or 7 guys she is BFF with, and will never attempt to include you in the group because there is only room for one woman in their lives.
This woman is kryptonite for your dating life, and though you might spend countless car rides home stewing about her to a guy, he will never, ever, see your point. “What, Kelly? I don’t see why you hate her so much, she’s nice!”
No, no, girls, stay away from this woman. Your dating life will be better for it."
This is exactly what I think.
http://www.howaboutwe.com/date-report/2457-red-flag-alert-beware-the-woman-with-no-female-friends/#0 -
I did some googling and this came up from howaboutwe.com
"Okay, let’s not beat around the bush: for women who date men, women with no female friends are The Worst.
This is the woman who will have no qualms about flirting with the guy you’ve been talking to all night at the party.
This is the one who will break every rule of Girl Code.
This is the woman with whom your boyfriend will cheat on you, (not that it’s her fault, it’s his fault, of course).
This is the woman who won’t ever set you up with her cute single friend, even though she isn’t in love with him, even though she has a boyfriend.
This is the woman who is BFF with your boyfriend, but who will make absolutely no effort to befriend you. And you have tried.
This is the woman who is crazy territorial about the 6 or 7 guys she is BFF with, and will never attempt to include you in the group because there is only room for one woman in their lives.
This woman is kryptonite for your dating life, and though you might spend countless car rides home stewing about her to a guy, he will never, ever, see your point. “What, Kelly? I don’t see why you hate her so much, she’s nice!”
No, no, girls, stay away from this woman. Your dating life will be better for it."
This is exactly what I think.
http://www.howaboutwe.com/date-report/2457-red-flag-alert-beware-the-woman-with-no-female-friends/#
hmmm well I dont qaulify then... The first thing I do when one of my boys starts dating someone is playing nicey nice with her... Now I'm not gonna lie I dont stay "friends" with them after they break up...
I do have some female friends its just my male friends far outweight the female ones0 -
hmmm well I dont qaulify then... The first thing I do when one of my boys starts dating someone is playing nicey nice with her... Now I'm not gonna lie I dont stay "friends" with them after they break up...
I do have some female friends its just my male friends far outweight the female ones
Oh I think that's fine. It's when a person doesn't get along with a whole gender that it worries me and makes me think twice.0 -
This morning I was rather succinct, calling this situation trouble. I’ve had some work keep me busy today, but now I have the chance to expand upon that answer. A couple good quotes first…..She's one of those women that hates women, is catty, *****y and bitter and surrounds herself with guy friends because they are drama freeeeeeeeeee - not realizing she has made herself a cloud of drama worth 5 women.
Male friends are often going to be a source of drama in the primary relationship, and the closer the relationship, the worse it will be. I am of the belief that it is extremely difficult for men and women to be close friends. The man is likely physically attracted to the woman. And if the man has had a long enough sexual drought, an otherwise physically unappealing female friend might become someone that a guy will make overtures towards with the end goal of getting sex. Not all guys think like that, but there are a percentage of guys that will go in that direction.I had a friend of mine tell me that he wouldn't date a girl with a whole bunch of guy friends for a few reasons. If a girl says she has mostly male friends, RED FLAG. NOT my opinion, but an opinion I've heard.
What I've heard from men....
1. Men and women simply can't sustain close friendly relationships. One is probably attracted to the other. And one will probably act on it one day. Most likely with alcohol involved.
2. She's probably slept with some of them(or will), because if you spend enough time around someone... It's bound to happen.
3. They aren't really her "friends". They're more like back-up plans.
4. She has self-confidence issues and feels inferior to other women, thus stays away from them to eliminate "competition".
5. "If she screws me over, how can I bang one of her friends if they're all men?"
1. If you aren't the one with feelings/sexual desires for him, don't drink around him because he wants to nail you.
2. See #1, it's only a matter of time.
3. Not really relevant to you and him unless you have all guy friends. However, not only does he want to nail you, he really resents you for making him wait until you exhaust every other option that is out there.
4. See #3
5. With his attitudes toward women in general, homosexuality isn't really that far of a stretch.
1. The guy will most likely be the one to act on it. It is a matter on whether the woman will accept the advance. Under the right conditions, she can. Granted, the jump won't be made permanently from the friend zone in most cases, but it is enough to radically alter or destroy certain relationships.
2. I don’t think it is bound to happen, but the issue is bound to become relevant at some point with enough time.
3. If a “friend zoned” guy does get sex from a woman, it is probably a one off or fling type thing. And David B is right that the guy will resent the woman for that sort of treatment. What commonly happens is that a boyfriend and girlfriend could have a big fight or breakup, and the girlfriend will turn to a long time male friend either for revenge sex or solace after a breakup, leading to sex based on the vulnerability in the moment mindset.
Now some of my own original angles…….
First, every woman under her 40s has to realize that most of her male friends want to have sex with her, given the right moment. There may be some impracticalities, but if there was something that happen to change the equilibrium, they would make the move.
Context and the nature of friendships matter. What were relationship statuses going in when the friendships were first formed? How close is the friendship? If they are considered peripheral relationships with very limited contact, the typical guy isn’t going to raise objections (either explicitly or in his own mind).
Now, gay male-straight female friendships. These are common. But once again, there are many men who perceive issues with this type of friendship as well. Many men have discovered that women who primarily hang around gay men are major drama queens. And if there’s something that guys hate, it is drama. To the typical straight guy, it is fine for a woman to have 1-2 gay male friends, but not hang out with them all the time so as to not lean towards drama queen tendencies. But there’s a benefit to the gay friend who will go to things with her that the typical guy isn’t particularly interested in doing all the time. Moderation and limited scope are the key words in this type of friendship.
I perceive that it is just easiest and most conducive to the formation of successful relationship when women have primarily women friends and men have primarily male friends.0 -
4. She has self-confidence issues and feels inferior to other women, thus stays away from them to eliminate "competition".
Part of me believes this, and part of me doesn't.
The girl I was discussing earlier was very confident in herself. The problem with that is when you're with a group of girls, being super confident in yourself can backfire. Her attitude and pride in herself just got too much to take, and she wouldn't hesitate to snipe at us about dumb things. She also gossiped about the others girls to us. She once started to say something negative about my best friend - like I wouldn't tell her? I That got annoying fast, because if she saying this to me about my friend, what was she saying about me behind my back? I don't gossip about my friends to my other friends -that is just wrong.
In that case, she didn't get along with girls because she was too confident.
However, I can see it being the opposite issue, that you are not confident around people of your own gender, so you would rather just not be friends with them in the first place.We can argue about whether someone is right or wrong to shy away from women who don't have a lot of female friends, but I find that I know more single women who fit that description (don't have a lot of female friends, think more like a guy than a woman, don't care about the normal girly stuff of "regular girls") than I do single women who are the "normal typical girl."
I get this. But the point I tried to make earlier is that is one thing if you just don't currently have any girlfriends. But if you don't get along with women in general, that is an issue.
Just wanted to say that someone who is "very confident" doesn't gossip about people...Gossip and talking about others and putting other people down is a big sign of lacking confidence..she is feeling badly about herself so she has to put others down so that she will look superior. Big sign of lacking confidence.0 -
4. She has self-confidence issues and feels inferior to other women, thus stays away from them to eliminate "competition".
In that case, she didn't get along with girls because she was too confident.
Just wanted to say that someone who is "very confident" doesn't gossip about people
This caught my eye too, and I can see it both ways:
1. I can see women who have self-confidence issues preferring to be around men because men are easier to get along with which is a boost to ego (especially if said woman is always on the losing end of female relationship competition)
2. I can see a woman who is too confident preferring to be around men because when women are too self-assured, too confident, then other women get jealous/bitter/catty and don’t want to be friends with her or if they become friends try to tear her down so they can feel better about themselves. Thus, she would naturally have fewer female friends. She would also be more likely to be that “intimidating” woman with “high standards” that men don’t wanna bother with.0 -
I don't have many (one or two) true female friends. I have never been a girly girl. I hate shopping, makeup, and the "typical" stero type of what a girl is supposed to be. I work in a male dominate field, and I think more like the men I work with than the women.
I find the women, especially those I work around are catty and full of drama, of which I want no part of (hence why I do not like having women friends).
This is me too.
the few women friends I have I am super close to, but I have more male friends precisely because there is less drama and cattiness.0 -
I had a friend of mine tell me that he wouldn't date a girl with a whole bunch of guy friends for a few reasons. If a girl says she has mostly male friends, RED FLAG. NOT my opinion, but an opinion I've heard.
What I've heard from men....
1. Men and women simply can't sustain close friendly relationships. One is probably attracted to the other. And one will probably act on it one day. Most likely with alcohol involved.
2. She's probably slept with some of them(or will), because if you spend enough time around someone... It's bound to happen.
3. They aren't really her "friends". They're more like back-up plans.
4. She has self-confidence issues and feels inferior to other women, thus stays away from them to eliminate "competition".
5. "If she screws me over, how can I bang one of her friends if they're all men?"
Fire your guy friends. These are all grossly judgmental not to mention dumb.
Like I said.. I argued until I realized it was a lost cause.
It's obvious that he is bitter toward women. (we no longer keep in touch)0 -
It's a little bit of a red flag for me, but I'd ask why before I started to judge.
If they said that they thought girls were catty and had too much drama or something along those lines I would probably assume that she's also catty and difficult to get along with. If she can't get along with half of the general population than we are going to have a problem.
But if she gave a somewhat normal answer like they've just been friends forever, or she's into sports or something than it would be no big deal.0 -
She's one of those women that hates women, is catty, *****y and bitter and surrounds herself with guy friends because they are drama freeeeeeeeeee - not realizing she has made herself a cloud of drama worth 5 women.
Just like this.
YES. It's always the women who go on and on about how they hate drama who are the ones creating it.0 -
Not really, but in general I view it as a positive thing. But as always, the devil's in the details.
She has no female friends because she's obnoxious? Anti-social? Or because she just relates better to men? Perhaps she played sports since childhood and was quite good, so naturally hung out with boys, and this just carried over into adulthood? All of these are good reasons why she has few female friends.
I'm biased, however, because I have mainly guy friends, so it makes perfect sense (to me) for a woman to want to hang around guys, too.
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Wait, "Girl Code"??? Wtf? Only guys can have codes. Stop that ladies! ;-)
Also, I completely disagree that guys cannot have girl friends (not girlfriends, but friends that are girls) without wanting to sleep with them. Maybe it was different when I was 25? At 45, I have no desire to ruin a great friendship with sex, unless it's because the relationship is evolving and we've decided to seriously date.
I like sex now as much as before, but it definitely doesn't rule my world. I've made a lot of bad decisions in my life (few regrets, btw), but you can't say I haven't learned from them.
I will admit that alcohol is the wild card here. Two drunk friends, alone, lonely.... That's not going to end well. Or, rather, it's going to end very well...Depends on your point of view. :-)
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She's one of those women that hates women, is catty, *****y and bitter and surrounds herself with guy friends because they are drama freeeeeeeeeee - not realizing she has made herself a cloud of drama worth 5 women.
*ding ding ding!* We have a winner! My ex was the same way. She's better now. I believe age and maturity played a part in it.0 -
I've met many girls who have "mainly male friends" or "prefer male friends" (which btw is different from "I don't have female friends" which might mean you don't have any friends at all, and are just antisocial).
They are trying to avoid the drama and headache women create where every action will be scrutinized, interpreted, analysed, shredded to pieces, and finally judged as "wrong" pretty much all the time because they should have done this instead of that.
These "mainly male friends" girls have a few female friends as well, but they are often female friends who prefer male friends too.
To me, they are the girls who like to hear and respect the opinion of a man, and have the ability to think on their feet (and can make abstraction of their emotions when it's time to think).
They make for really really really really (!!!) good conversation.
I usually like these girls and like their attitude. I'm 100% sure this is the kind of girl I am after (stereotypes: geek girl, non-girly girl).
I've met some like that... I think I can spot them early enough though, especially during those long conversations I'm mentioning before.She's one of those women that hates women, is catty, *****y and bitter and surrounds herself with guy friends because they are drama freeeeeeeeeee - not realizing she has made herself a cloud of drama worth 5 women.0 -
I've met many girls who have "mainly male friends" or "prefer male friends" (which btw is different from "I don't have female friends" which might mean you don't have any friends at all, and are just antisocial).
They are trying to avoid the drama and headache women create where every action will be scrutinized, interpreted, analysed, shredded to pieces, and finally judged as "wrong" pretty much all the time because they should have done this instead of that.
These "mainly male friends" girls have a few female friends as well, but they are often female friends who prefer male friends too.
To me, they are the girls who like to hear and respect the opinion of a man, and have the ability to think on their feet (and can make abstraction of their emotions when it's time to think).
They make for really really really really (!!!) good conversation.
I usually like these girls and like their attitude. I'm 100% sure this is the kind of girl I am after (stereotypes: geek girl, non-girly girl).
I've met some like that... I think I can spot them early enough though, especially during those long conversations I'm mentioning before.She's one of those women that hates women, is catty, *****y and bitter and surrounds herself with guy friends because they are drama freeeeeeeeeee - not realizing she has made herself a cloud of drama worth 5 women.
But the thing is we are talking about girls that don't have any female friends. Girls that have at least one female friend is totally different then a girl that has none at all. Some people like to keep their friend circle small so only have 1 or 2 female friends and some guy friends. The ones that don't have any girl friends are the ones that has issues.0 -
About the friends:
But the thing is we are talking about girls that don't have any female friends. Girls that have at least one female friend is totally different then a girl that has none at all. Some people like to keep their friend circle small so only have 1 or 2 female friends and some guy friends. The ones that don't have any girl friends are the ones that has issues.I've met many girls who have "mainly male friends" or "prefer male friends" (which btw is different from "I don't have female friends" which might mean you don't have any friends at all, and are just antisocial).
These "mainly male friends" girls have a few female friends as well, but they are often female friends who prefer male friends too.
I usually like these girls and like their attitude. I'm 100% sure this is the kind of girl I am after (stereotypes: geek girl, non-girly girl).
To be clearer, what I mean is: if your female friends are all tomboys, it's probably not exactly similar to having only "girly female friends". "Tomboys" mentality is different from "girly female friends" and perhaps quite similar to a "male friend" mentality.
Similarly if you've got only very "feminine male friends", I'm not sure you can really say you've got "male friends" (as I guess the assumption for this topic is "masculine male friends" and "feminine female friends").
For this topic, given you're not (theoretically) having sex with your friends, it's not a matter of genitals, but mentality rather.
So what I said was:
I like a lot those girls who are not too girly, who have mainly masculine male friends and female friends who are similar to them (i.e. some degree of masculinity in their mentality).
I don't think I'm a big fan of the "feminine female/girly mentality", although I'm sure a lot of them are really nice, I don't get to meet a lot of them (not my crowd) and I don't feel like I'm lacking anything in my life.
Of course, it's all about striking the right balance and I'm not talking extremes either way here.0 -
I don't bat an eye when I hear this. A large number of females I have known or do know say this. I don't know that it always means they have literally 0 female friends - it might just be them telling me to keep my penis away from their female friends.
Anyway, I'm used to hearing it.0 -
BUT what about GUYS (straight men, that is) that only have female friends?
The last guy I was casually dating said he didn't have many male friends, he mainly had female friends. He also never knew his father so that could have been part of it. Anywho, I saw it as a red flag because I thought it seemed strange. I ignored it at the urging of my friends and now wish I had not...0 -
This is an interesting topic, and I guess I have a few points to make, which are all my opinion. Not saying I'm right or wrong, just what I think.
If you're going on a first date with a girl, and she leads off with "I don't have any female friends" or even "many female friends" and says it in a defensive tone, I think she is probably one of the catty girls mentioned. However, if after getting to know her over a date or two, you can see by her personality and/or the way she thinks/communicates that she probably connects better with men, or the manly way of thinking, then that would be a bit more acceptable.
For me, I do have a few close guy friends. One I met at my last duty station, and it's kinda funny. When we met, we both thought the other like-liked us, but neither of us did, haha. We've remained really close friends for about six years now, and I would definitely meet him for dinner or lunch or go to a movie with him alone, provided my significant other had met and hung out with him and liked him. The other close guy friend I have is part of a couple, and I'm close with both of them, so that's really no big deal. They're like my adoptive parents, lol.
I was lucky finding some girlfriends when I first moved down here last September. As soon as I separated, I moved in with this girl that I was in class with, and we've remained close to best friend status since November. We've also met a few other girls along the way, so now we have a nice little handful of girls to go do girly things with. I do have a bunch of other guy friends that I partied with, but now that I'm in a relationship, I wouldn't hang out with any of them one-on-one because I think that would be disrespectful to my boyfriend. These men are more just like acquaintances, and we would probably not keep in touch once one of us moves somewhere else (aside from snide Facebook comments).
This is actually the first time in a long time that I've had several girlfriends. Thanks to the military lifestyle, my crude and immature sense of humor, and my charming personality, I've gotten along great with most of my coworkers who are predominantly male. However, instead of saying "I don't have many female friends," I like to discard gender completely most of the time and say, "I don't have any annoying/stupid/mean/insteadothernegativewordhere friends." 0 -
This is an interesting topic, and I guess I have a few points to make, which are all my opinion. Not saying I'm right or wrong, just what I think.
If you're going on a first date with a girl, and she leads off with "I don't have any female friends" or even "many female friends" and says it in a defensive tone, I think she is probably one of the catty girls mentioned. However, if after getting to know her over a date or two, you can see by her personality and/or the way she thinks/communicates that she probably connects better with men, or the manly way of thinking, then that would be a bit more acceptable.
Exactly.However, instead of saying "I don't have many female friends," I like to discard gender completely most of the time and say, "I don't have any annoying/stupid/mean/insteadothernegativewordhere friends."
Yep, that was my point all along. If you don't get along with a whole gender, there are red flags.0 -
I find it hard to maintain a lot of friendships, because I like my alone time and that usually translates to someone as me not having time or wanting to be around them.
This is exactly me. I love my time to myself, and also don't really wanna get caught up in other people's drama, so have very few close friends.
I sometimes wonder if this will hinder a relationship, because I don't have a huge pool of friends to draw on to go do things with. I'm holding out hope that the right guy will understand my reasoning for the small social circle. *shrug*0 -
I am not sure what is mysterious about this whole thing,almost every lady I know says the same thing.
They have a couple of gal pals and are happy to have a girls only evening but for the most part do not wish to have anything to do with other ladies in general.
It is not that they can`t get along but the reality of life that most ladies are in a constant state of competition with each other.
There does not need to be a guy involved but their own self perception of attractiveness and worth.
Guys just don`t do that.
Yes,have made generalizations here and of course not all are what I said but my observance of things does support my statement.0 -
I am leery of women who have only male friends in the same way I am leery about men who only have female friends. And the same way I would be leery of a person who only has black friends, or white friends or just purple friends.
I like spending time with folks who are rather open minded. 0
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