shy peeps
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christine24t
Posts: 6,064 Member
Any shy single peeps out there? I know a lot of people on single peeps are very outgoing and will just go up to people and talk to them, but I know there have to be a few shy people out there!
I was thinking of making this thread tonight because when I was at the store, I saw this really cute guy my age walking, and I looked up to make eye contact and smile at him, and at the last second I chickened out. There is just something about smiling AND making eye contact with a total stranger that freaks me out. I can do one or the other but not both.
Has being shy deterred your dating life at all? Have you overcome any aspect of shy-ness in your dating life, and if yes, how so? Has being shy helped you at all?
I was thinking of making this thread tonight because when I was at the store, I saw this really cute guy my age walking, and I looked up to make eye contact and smile at him, and at the last second I chickened out. There is just something about smiling AND making eye contact with a total stranger that freaks me out. I can do one or the other but not both.
Has being shy deterred your dating life at all? Have you overcome any aspect of shy-ness in your dating life, and if yes, how so? Has being shy helped you at all?
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I am not so much shy as I have anxiety. Put a few drinks in me and I'm a friendly chatterbox, the world is awesome and everyone is interesting, neat and attractive!
The only thing other than that and some medication I have (for what I call "Special occasions") is just.... suck it up and do it. It has never helped me, but I've never regretted saying something - even if I get turned down.0 -
My guess is that most of us are to some degree but I also think that due to some influence from this group many are trying to work on that.
Honestly Christine,just do it,you can and you need to.
I am not harping on you,you are a young,pretty lady that does deserve and really can find the life you seem to want.
I have been there where I let it completely unwind my life and while it was horrible it was also useless and stupid.
Please take all that you have let root deep in your mind and rip it out and throw it away,it is holding you back.
There will be uncomfortable moments and probably some that will hurt but it is not the end of the world once you finally realize that yes you are a person another would want in their life.
Okay? :flowerforyou:0 -
This world isn't built for the shy. Nothing good can come from it. Shy men have it much worse as it's expected from us to be the agressor when it comes to finding a mate. If that man you shared a mutual smile and eye contact with was interested, he would have tried to strike up a conversation with you. Or maybe he's shy as well? Either way, you'll probably never see him again.
I will say this about being shy.. I have a good friend who's very shy and quiet and he rarely chimes in during a group discussion when we all go out. However, when he does talk, people will actually listen attentively because they know he has something important to say.0 -
Most of my friends have no idea how much I hate interacting with strangers. I'm friendly, bubbly, and the jokester amongst my friends, yet if someone I don't know tries to interact with me, I'd rather stare at the floor. Tonight as I walked around a few shops, I looked at no one. I don't know why I don't like strangers... everyone is one at some point, but I don't handle it well.
Yes, it affects my dating life (ok, lack of dating life) completely. Other than 3 dates off POF (done to work on the stranger issue), I hadn't dated in years. I'm figuring at this rate, it'll be years again since I'm really done online dating now!
No it's not helpful; I don't recommend it.0 -
Tonight as I walked around a few shops, I looked at no one. I don't know why I don't like strangers... everyone is one at some point, but I don't handle it well.
Isn't it the worst when an employee asks if you need help finding anything? It makes me want to run away! I would rather spend an extra thirty minutes looking around!0 -
Tonight as I walked around a few shops, I looked at no one. I don't know why I don't like strangers... everyone is one at some point, but I don't handle it well.
Isn't it the worst when an employee asks if you need help finding anything? It makes me want to run away! I would rather spend an extra thirty minutes looking around!
Amen, Kit! I usually walk around where they stand and keep my head down, haha... most of them get it, except at Target. I used to work there, I know it's coming, "Can I help you find something?" So I say no before they get it all out, ha!0 -
My guess is that most of us are to some degree but I also think that due to some influence from this group many are trying to work on that.
Definitely true. I was even thinking tonight when I was going to smile at that guy that it was something some people on Single Peeps might do lol, so I might as well try it. And thanks for the rest of your words Carl, they're sweet!I am not so much shy as I have anxiety. Put a few drinks in me and I'm a friendly chatterbox, the world is awesome and everyone is interesting, neat and attractive!
That would describe me more actually than being shy itself. I have less anxiety with meeting people if I have drinks beforehand.
I love talking to people, and once I meet them and know them, I can, but it is that initial meeting that just drives me nuts.0 -
Tonight as I walked around a few shops, I looked at no one. I don't know why I don't like strangers... everyone is one at some point, but I don't handle it well.
Isn't it the worst when an employee asks if you need help finding anything? It makes me want to run away! I would rather spend an extra thirty minutes looking around!
Amen, Kit! I usually walk around where they stand and keep my head down, haha... most of them get it, except at Target. I used to work there, I know it's coming, "Can I help you find something?" So I say no before they get it all out, ha!
Ugh I hate that too! Soooo much! I was just out at the mall walking around because I needed to see other humans lol and every store I go in to..."can I help you?" The worst is when you go through a store like Macy's and at each counter, they say, "would you like to try our perfume?" "Free makeup sample?" "How about a new purse?"
Or the little kiosks with random stuff in the middle of the mall. I walk with my head down so they don't approach me.0 -
Tonight as I walked around a few shops, I looked at no one. I don't know why I don't like strangers... everyone is one at some point, but I don't handle it well.
Isn't it the worst when an employee asks if you need help finding anything? It makes me want to run away! I would rather spend an extra thirty minutes looking around!
Amen, Kit! I usually walk around where they stand and keep my head down, haha... most of them get it, except at Target. I used to work there, I know it's coming, "Can I help you find something?" So I say no before they get it all out, ha!
Ugh I hate that too! Soooo much! I was just out at the mall walking around because I needed to see other humans lol and every store I go in to..."can I help you?" The worst is when you go through a store like Macy's and at each counter, they say, "would you like to try our perfume?" "Free makeup sample?" "How about a new purse?"
Or the little kiosks with random stuff in the middle of the mall. I walk with my head down so they don't approach me.
Or outside of grocery stores! It always seems like someone is collecting money or trying to sell something! No, I don't want to give to your corrupt organization, I already have a charity LEAVE ME TO BUY MY FOOD IN PEACE! And I -always- pick automated check out stands unless I absolutely HAVE to!0 -
Most of my friends have no idea how much I hate interacting with strangers. I'm friendly, bubbly, and the jokester amongst my friends, yet if someone I don't know tries to interact with me, I'd rather stare at the floor. Tonight as I walked around a few shops, I looked at no one. I don't know why I don't like strangers... everyone is one at some point, but I don't handle it well.
Yes, it affects my dating life (ok, lack of dating life) completely. Other than 3 dates off POF (done to work on the stranger issue), I hadn't dated in years. I'm figuring at this rate, it'll be years again since I'm really done online dating now!
No it's not helpful; I don't recommend it.
This is me, when I'm comfortable and with people I know I'm very outgoing.
But put me into a situation where I don't know someone I want to be a wall flower.
I'm shy with men, especially if I'm physically attracted to them I can hardly look at a man I find attractive.
I'm learning and starting to come out of my shell. When I interact with strangers through work I'm find...its in social situations ie parties ect or dating that I'm awkward.
I wish I could be brave and just walk up to a stranger and strike up a conversation..but I feel foolish and fear rejection.0 -
My guess is that most of us are to some degree but I also think that due to some influence from this group many are trying to work on that.
Definitely true. I was even thinking tonight when I was going to smile at that guy that it was something some people on Single Peeps might do lol, so I might as well try it. And thanks for the rest of your words Carl, they're sweet!
When I was in Dallas a month ago I was determined that despite my mouth full of crooked teeth I was going to smile and say hi to ladies that I found attractive.
Did I think for a second any of them would be swept off their feet...no,and that was the case.
I proved to myself I could do it though and that made me feel a little good.0 -
Most of my friends have no idea how much I hate interacting with strangers. I'm friendly, bubbly, and the jokester amongst my friends, yet if someone I don't know tries to interact with me, I'd rather stare at the floor. Tonight as I walked around a few shops, I looked at no one. I don't know why I don't like strangers... everyone is one at some point, but I don't handle it well.
Yes, it affects my dating life (ok, lack of dating life) completely. Other than 3 dates off POF (done to work on the stranger issue), I hadn't dated in years. I'm figuring at this rate, it'll be years again since I'm really done online dating now!
No it's not helpful; I don't recommend it.
This is me, when I'm comfortable and with people I know I'm very outgoing.
But put me into a situation where I don't know someone I want to be a wall flower.
I'm shy with men, especially if I'm physically attracted to them I can hardly look at a man I find attractive.
I'm learning and starting to come out of my shell. When I interact with strangers through work I'm find...its in social situations ie parties ect or dating that I'm awkward.
I wish I could be brave and just walk up to a stranger and strike up a conversation..but I feel foolish and fear rejection.
Me too, Kerry, except I can look at the guy, but if I try to talk to him, I shake and my heartbeat increases so much I can feel my heart beating in my chest. I am trying to be more outgoing too, but like you, I feel foolish too, like I'm an imposter and then I also fear rejection too.I proved to myself I could do it though and that made me feel a little good.
That is kind of what I was trying to do but I failed.
I am going out tomorrow night most likely so I will try again!0 -
Oh, one other thing I have found that works... (sometimes, if there aren't too many new people around).
I get crass as hell. I mean, I already cuss up a storm (I consider myself a casual cusser, I don't save it for when I'm angry I just let fly unless I'm in a professional situation) and am the boss at "that's what she said" jokes, but I am not afraid to step it up a notch. I don't know why it makes me feel better, maybe it has something to do with making them feel as awkward as I do and we bond over that but the people that laugh with me are the people that I'm gonna hang out with again.
I dunno if you guys have been noticing me doing that here too lately, but that's more because I took a "*kitten* it, this isn't work" attitude, muahaha!
Try dropping a couple f bombs!0 -
Oh, one other thing I have found that works... (sometimes, if there aren't too many new people around).
I get crass as hell. I mean, I already cuss up a storm (I consider myself a casual cusser, I don't save it for when I'm angry I just let fly unless I'm in a professional situation) and am the boss at "that's what she said" jokes, but I am not afraid to step it up a notch. I don't know why it makes me feel better, maybe it has something to do with making them feel as awkward as I do and we bond over that but the people that laugh with me are the people that I'm gonna hang out with again.
I dunno if you guys have been noticing me doing that here too lately, but that's more because I took a "*kitten* it, this isn't work" attitude, muahaha!
Try dropping a couple f bombs!
I am going to post a contradiction here I simply can`t resolve.
Yes,that can relax a guy where he may not feel he has to think about every sentence he says because he does not want to appear crass.
On the other hand I like to treat a lady like a lady and not come across as a crude person.
How does one mesh these two things?0 -
Oh, one other thing I have found that works... (sometimes, if there aren't too many new people around).
I get crass as hell. I mean, I already cuss up a storm (I consider myself a casual cusser, I don't save it for when I'm angry I just let fly unless I'm in a professional situation) and am the boss at "that's what she said" jokes, but I am not afraid to step it up a notch. I don't know why it makes me feel better, maybe it has something to do with making them feel as awkward as I do and we bond over that but the people that laugh with me are the people that I'm gonna hang out with again.
I dunno if you guys have been noticing me doing that here too lately, but that's more because I took a "*kitten* it, this isn't work" attitude, muahaha!
Try dropping a couple f bombs!
I am going to post a contradiction here I simply can`t resolve.
Yes,that can relax a guy where he may not feel he has to think about every sentence he says because he does not want to appear crass.
On the other hand I like to treat a lady like a lady and not come across as a crude person.
How does one mesh these two things?
Hmm.... I show my boobs?
Hahaha! I do get your point, it is different for a guy, especially if he's not looking for a gal that would behave that way anyway (unladylike, that is). On that note I don't know how to mesh those two since it isn't something I would know what to do with were someone to treat me that way. I'd get castadiva in here for that answer, she's very much a lady!0 -
Oh, one other thing I have found that works... (sometimes, if there aren't too many new people around).
I get crass as hell. I mean, I already cuss up a storm (I consider myself a casual cusser, I don't save it for when I'm angry I just let fly unless I'm in a professional situation) and am the boss at "that's what she said" jokes, but I am not afraid to step it up a notch. I don't know why it makes me feel better, maybe it has something to do with making them feel as awkward as I do and we bond over that but the people that laugh with me are the people that I'm gonna hang out with again.
I dunno if you guys have been noticing me doing that here too lately, but that's more because I took a "*kitten* it, this isn't work" attitude, muahaha!
Try dropping a couple f bombs!
I am going to post a contradiction here I simply can`t resolve.
Yes,that can relax a guy where he may not feel he has to think about every sentence he says because he does not want to appear crass.
On the other hand I like to treat a lady like a lady and not come across as a crude person.
How does one mesh these two things?
Yes, I agree.
I curse occasionally with my girlfriends. By no means do I have a potty mouth but some words slip in.
However, I don't curse in front of men...I don't think it's very attractive, and since I struggle to get male attention anyway, I don't want to ruin it by dropping F-bombs. I have my awkward moments but they're unintentional. But I just don't swear in front of men.0 -
Oh, one other thing I have found that works... (sometimes, if there aren't too many new people around).
I get crass as hell. I mean, I already cuss up a storm (I consider myself a casual cusser, I don't save it for when I'm angry I just let fly unless I'm in a professional situation) and am the boss at "that's what she said" jokes, but I am not afraid to step it up a notch. I don't know why it makes me feel better, maybe it has something to do with making them feel as awkward as I do and we bond over that but the people that laugh with me are the people that I'm gonna hang out with again.
I dunno if you guys have been noticing me doing that here too lately, but that's more because I took a "*kitten* it, this isn't work" attitude, muahaha!
Try dropping a couple f bombs!
I am going to post a contradiction here I simply can`t resolve.
Yes,that can relax a guy where he may not feel he has to think about every sentence he says because he does not want to appear crass.
On the other hand I like to treat a lady like a lady and not come across as a crude person.
How does one mesh these two things?
Hmm.... I show my boobs?
Hahaha! I do get your point, it is different for a guy, especially if he's not looking for a gal that would behave that way anyway (unladylike, that is). On that note I don't know how to mesh those two since it isn't something I would know what to do with were someone to treat me that way. I'd get castadiva in here for that answer, she's very much a lady!
No no no,you are just as much a lady as any other.0 -
However, I don't curse in front of men...I don't think it's very attractive, and since I struggle to get male attention anyway, I don't want to ruin it by dropping F-bombs. I have my awkward moments but they're unintentional. But I just don't swear in front of men.
Very smart Christine. When a women curses, it's horribly, horribly unattractive. I wouldn't hesitate to walk away mid-conversation from a women who dropped an f-bomb.
It generally speaks volumes about their character as well.0 -
I used to be shy and still am when I am uncomfortable with the situation. I have found the more comfortable and confident I am with myself the more comfortable and confident I am with others. So to test how out going and less shy you can be try to start out in areas that you are sure of yourself. If you excel at something start with that to bring out your confidence and remember that feeling when you do something that isn't in your normal routine.0
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However, I don't curse in front of men...I don't think it's very attractive, and since I struggle to get male attention anyway, I don't want to ruin it by dropping F-bombs. I have my awkward moments but they're unintentional. But I just don't swear in front of men.
Very smart Christine. When a women curses, it's horribly, horribly unattractive. I wouldn't hesitate to walk away mid-conversation from a women who dropped an f-bomb.
It generally speaks volumes about their character as well.
Really,?get off your high horse. Bit dramatic.0
