Talk some sense into me (esp ladies, plz)
IveLanded
Posts: 797 Member
Ok, so I started at 186 and just a big inactive lump. I started the journey eating between 12 and 1400 a day, and exercising an hour a day 7 days a week. Lost 30lbs, hit a plateau, fiddled around and bumped calories to 1530 ish, broke out. I've lost about another 15lbs.
But I'm getting stuck again. I'm in my last 10lbs (actually today it would probably be 8lbs to go till my goal) and I know it will go slower. Which of course bums be out but I can accept that.
The past two weeks I made an effort to tighten up my eating, focus on protein, and I cut alcohol. And nothing. I'm at where I was two weeks ago. Even at a half pound a week, I should be down but I am flip flopping between abut 142 and 144 and this morning I'm about 144....so technically it's a gain. I've weighed in at 141 one random day. I then had my TOM so I attributed the gain to bloating from that but it came...and stayed.
I know there are extras in my diet I could cut (cream in my coffee, sugar, etc). But I've still been right at my calorie goals with a good calorie deficit, so I figure I should see SOME loss.
I am switching my work out goal from cardio heavy to resistance/weight heavy, but I have a hard time 1) getting enough resistance/weight time in because I'm at a loss for what to do and 2)it isn't getting my heart rate up so I'm concerned about that.
Now, I don't really ever feel hungry. At the 1500 ish I'm eating now, I feel like I indulge a lot. I was relying on my body to tell me to up my calories at some point with cues like hunger.
And, of course, mentally, it's a huge thing to tackle, the idea of eating more.
When I play around on the scooby calculator, I get 1430 as my BMR, which sounds right. Maintenance is about 2400 and a 20% reduction would put me at about 1900. That also logically sounds right......I think I'd feel ok bumping up to that. But like before...I really want to NOT see a gain. Is that just an inevitable part, though?
EDIT: when I use the scooby calculator that allows me to input body fat percentage, I get slightly lower numbers.
Am I just not eating clean enough where I'm at? Is the focus on weights and resistance killing me? Am I eating too many of the same foods over and over (I eat almost the same thing every day for breakfast 80% of the time....trying to change that up).
Are there any other ladies who've been on this boat? My ultimate goal is to be fit and thin and look like I work out. And have it be sustainable.
edit: just opened my diary
But I'm getting stuck again. I'm in my last 10lbs (actually today it would probably be 8lbs to go till my goal) and I know it will go slower. Which of course bums be out but I can accept that.
The past two weeks I made an effort to tighten up my eating, focus on protein, and I cut alcohol. And nothing. I'm at where I was two weeks ago. Even at a half pound a week, I should be down but I am flip flopping between abut 142 and 144 and this morning I'm about 144....so technically it's a gain. I've weighed in at 141 one random day. I then had my TOM so I attributed the gain to bloating from that but it came...and stayed.
I know there are extras in my diet I could cut (cream in my coffee, sugar, etc). But I've still been right at my calorie goals with a good calorie deficit, so I figure I should see SOME loss.
I am switching my work out goal from cardio heavy to resistance/weight heavy, but I have a hard time 1) getting enough resistance/weight time in because I'm at a loss for what to do and 2)it isn't getting my heart rate up so I'm concerned about that.
Now, I don't really ever feel hungry. At the 1500 ish I'm eating now, I feel like I indulge a lot. I was relying on my body to tell me to up my calories at some point with cues like hunger.
And, of course, mentally, it's a huge thing to tackle, the idea of eating more.
When I play around on the scooby calculator, I get 1430 as my BMR, which sounds right. Maintenance is about 2400 and a 20% reduction would put me at about 1900. That also logically sounds right......I think I'd feel ok bumping up to that. But like before...I really want to NOT see a gain. Is that just an inevitable part, though?
EDIT: when I use the scooby calculator that allows me to input body fat percentage, I get slightly lower numbers.
Am I just not eating clean enough where I'm at? Is the focus on weights and resistance killing me? Am I eating too many of the same foods over and over (I eat almost the same thing every day for breakfast 80% of the time....trying to change that up).
Are there any other ladies who've been on this boat? My ultimate goal is to be fit and thin and look like I work out. And have it be sustainable.
edit: just opened my diary
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Replies
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you obviously know my story and my eating but i can tell you this, i was scared too to bump up and i thought i would gain but i didnt. i bumped up slowly over the course of a couple weeks that just started by eating back my exercise cals (it was a mental thing for me to see the green instead of red numbers glaring at me on mfp) and then i was more comfortable about eating in the 1800's. i still havent gained since starting to eat more, i've only been losing, and thats with eating crap lol, this week ill probably drop more weight because i'm trying to clean it up before i start NROLFW. which brings me to my next point. if youre at a loss on where to start lifting heavy in the gym NROLFW sounds perfect for you, seriously. the book is at barnes for 12 bucks and teaches you so much about our bodies and how they metabolize things especially concerning that low HR during weight lifting and how it ends up burning more fat, and the book is backed by several sources that are listed too, its not just some quack spouting his ideas at you. if you are ready to stop focusing on the scale and more on body composition and BF % then i'd say up the cals and lift heavier. if you wanna see number losses then cut off some limbs LOL
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That's what I'm eating everyday, (I'm 5'3 and 166 right now), and sometimes more, and I am seeing steady losses. I suggest you slowly up it to your TDEE minus cut, and maybe even take a break at TDEE around the holidays. That's my plan, just so my body doesn't get used to what I am doing.0
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Have you checked out the eat more to weigh less group on here? They have a lot of info, about uping calories, and resets. Depending on how long you have been eating at a big deficit, a reset might be good for you. As for the heavy lifting versus cardio, I agree NROL4W is a great book. Also, you only have to lift three days a week, with rest days in between each day, so you could always do cardio on those days. Looking "fit" is going to come from weights, not cardio imo.
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you obviously know my story and my eating but i can tell you this, i was scared too to bump up and i thought i would gain but i didnt. i bumped up slowly over the course of a couple weeks that just started by eating back my exercise cals (it was a mental thing for me to see the green instead of red numbers glaring at me on mfp) and then i was more comfortable about eating in the 1800's. i still havent gained since starting to eat more, i've only been losing, and thats with eating crap lol, this week ill probably drop more weight because i'm trying to clean it up before i start NROLFW. which brings me to my next point. if youre at a loss on where to start lifting heavy in the gym NROLFW sounds perfect for you, seriously. the book is at barnes for 12 bucks and teaches you so much about our bodies and how they metabolize things especially concerning that low HR during weight lifting and how it ends up burning more fat, and the book is backed by several sources that are listed too, its not just some quack spouting his ideas at you. if you are ready to stop focusing on the scale and more on body composition and BF % then i'd say up the cals and lift heavier. if you wanna see number losses then cut off some limbs LOL
Well this is my other....thing:
One of my best friends is an ironman triathlete....and we are the same age, same build, and she's is an incredibly lean 133. When she "bulks up" in the off season, she still never breaks 140. So.........I know it's possible to have a body that looks somewhat like hers at my age and size. And that's a goal......I want to look as close to her as I can. I know that since I'm not a professional athlete like she is, I obviously won't look EXACTLY like here...but with muscle weighing more than fat, I would think that I could at least get to her size and probably close to her weight.
So.......I guess having that goal in mind, it does keep me somewhat focused on the scale. That, and it would just feel super bad *kitten* to say "I lost 50lbs".
Also, I feel like measurements are kind of lost on me now....I haven't lost anything off my waist in months even though my weight has gone down a lot. I think my waist might be close to as low as it's gonna get. And while I want to build muscle, I don't want to "bulk up" and gain. I just don't. Different priorities and maybe it's irrational but it is what it is, man.0 -
what is your definition of "bulking up" though? to me that means putting on muscle mass which means eating at a surplus and training like a madwoman for months on end (studies show women can consider it a miracle if they gain 2lbs of muscle mass a month), and then working of the fat by "cutting" down cals and keeping the training and eating super clean. also when youre lifting the weight might come off VERY slowly but your body will look completely different. one of my friends who just finished stage 1 of nrolfw said she lost a whole pant size but never a weight change, to me thats huge. the thing is it doesnt hurt to try it out to see if it'll work, this whole weight loss thing is one GIANT experiment with our bodies, you gotta try it out to see what works best for ya. if you wanna look like an ironman athlete though i can pretty much promise you it wont come from eating below or at your BMR and doing cardio like crazy. it comes from lifting iron and fueling those powerful muscles properly.0
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also, have you talked to your ironwoman friend to see what her training is like? if anything she could give you the best insight to what you can change to get her body.0
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what is your definition of "bulking up" though? to me that means putting on muscle mass which means eating at a surplus and training like a madwoman for months on end (studies show women can consider it a miracle if they gain 2lbs of muscle mass a month), and then working of the fat by "cutting" down cals and keeping the training and eating super clean. also when youre lifting the weight might come off VERY slowly but your body will look completely different. one of my friends who just finished stage 1 of nrolfw said she lost a whole pant size but never a weight change, to me thats huge. the thing is it doesnt hurt to try it out to see if it'll work, this whole weight loss thing is one GIANT experiment with our bodies, you gotta try it out to see what works best for ya. if you wanna look like an ironman athlete though i can pretty much promise you it wont come from eating below or at your BMR and doing cardio like crazy. it comes from lifting iron and fueling those powerful muscles properly.
Well yeah....Jen (my friend) is lean and has very defined muscles. I know that for lots of reasons I need to build muscle. I guess I mean I don't want to build it up and have to lose from there. If she can look awesome and toned at 133, I can do it without gaining overall weight back, I'd think. If that makes sense. I'm ok with a slow loss. I assume that will happen. But I still want the progress.0 -
also, have you talked to your ironwoman friend to see what her training is like? if anything she could give you the best insight to what you can change to get her body.
We've been friends since high school actually......and she's always been ripped. She was a gymnast since she was little and did it semi professionally in college, so she had a gymnast body forever...the entire time I've known her..........she got a lot leaner and smaller when she transitioned to triathlons, but you're talking about her burning over 1000 calories every single day, sometimes more. We eat similarly, she drinks more than I do, but her calorie needs are way different. She's a personal trainer for a living so she's working out all day, every day too. I talk to her about eating, but she eats at least 2000 calories a day, and that's when she's not training!0 -
sounds like you know what you gotta do but are scared to eat more and lift heavier. lol thats a mental block that i dont think i can talk you out of but you know i'm here to support you, you've done so amazingly so far and you will continue to do so. you are VERY persistent so i know you'll figure out what works for you eventually. if you wanna borrow my new rules book let me know, i'm photocopying all the important stuff today for my workouts so i wont really NEED the book for a little.0
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sounds like you know what you gotta do but are scared to eat more and lift heavier. lol thats a mental block that i dont think i can talk you out of but you know i'm here to support you, you've done so amazingly so far and you will continue to do so. you are VERY persistent so i know you'll figure out what works for you eventually. if you wanna borrow my new rules book let me know, i'm photocopying all the important stuff today for my workouts so i wont really NEED the book for a little.
Nope. Not scared to lift heavier, just not sure where to start. I've been increasing my weights in the gym, but I don't venture to the free weight area because I lack a spotter. But ...I mean, what do I do? Just keep lifting heavier hand weights? And how much? Etc etc. But I lift as heavy as I can go now. I have increased what I lift......but I mean, can you do that with JUST the hand weights??? I was looking into weight stuff but a LOT of it seems like I need a spotter!!!!!!!!! I need to friend who lifts at my gym.....I was contemplating posting on CL or something!!!
A little scared to eat more because right now, with the lack of hunger, I'm not entirely sure it's the culprit. Writing it all out was kind of a help for me but.......really? Is my diet just too crappy? Are my calories too poor? I wonder because I'm sitting here thinking that with the increase in weight/resistance....I'm not burning as many calories per work out, right? So if I'm not burning as much, then why would I need to increase my calories????? I guess I don't want to jump into the increase for no good reason??? And I REALLY don't want to gain. Your lack of gain, though,........that's encouraging...........
It's also about fitting in work outs and I think I have to up my totally TIME with weights....but that goes back to just not knowing what to do. I think on payday I'm going to get NROL4W . It has actual work out outlined, right?
Edit:
Thinking about it.......I don't feel the same burn with weights as cardio so I guess Im sitting here going "am I REALLY working as hard???"0 -
Have you checked out the eat more to weigh less group on here? They have a lot of info, about uping calories, and resets.
? you prob have cheked em out..eh? :-)0 -
Heres my thoughts.. You are 140-144 pound, correct? So you are probably working on that last 5-10 pounds to get to the goal you have in your head, right? Once you get closer to your goal, the weight becomes harder to get off, but not impossible. You actually need to eat more. Most of the gals in here who are working on those last few pounds, have only taken a 10% cut from their tdee, rather than a 15-20%. The closer to the end you are, the more you want to burn the fat off by building the muscle, which requires more food to do it.
I know you are scared about gaining back any weight you "might" put on by upping your cals.. Is it a guarantee? No. Some people gain a few pounds, some people dont. But you arent losing anything at 1500 cals anymore, so your body is stuck. The best way to get "unstuck" is to eat more. You can do it one of two ways.. slowly increase your cals by 50-100 until you start to see some losses happening, or just jump right to your 10-15% cut of TDEE. As for feeling fully satisfied at 1500... of course you are. Your body and metabolism have adjusted to that amount. You will likely feel hungry for a few days when you start to jump cals, but your body will even out again and you will wonder how you ever ate less:)
Weight training is a big part of changing your body shape. Cardio is great for the heart, but cardio wont change your shape the way weights can.. and for far less exertion. You should be doing about 3 days a week weight training, and 2 days a week cardio for best results. Its drilled into women's heads that the only way we can lose weight and look better is by slaving over the damn treadmill or stairmaster for hours on end.
I started lifting weights with "New rules of Lifting for Women" by Lou Schuler. great starter book to get a taste of how weight training can work for you. And for the record, I use the free weights, and I have no spotter.. don't let that be your reason for not lifting. You are not a body builder and you are not lifting weights to that point. Most of the weight exercises in the book can be done with dumbells if you wont have access to a barbell..
I would suggest you puruse the videos Kiki and Lucia posted here: http://www.youtube.com/user/EatMore2WeighLess/videos?view=0
These will help to see that you do need to eat more, you should be giving weights a try, and that eating too little calories can do more harm to your body than you think.
As an aside... I was eating about 1400 cals when I first joined this group.. I am now at 2500 cals for my 15% cut, and the scale is dropping weight here, where I had NO losses at 1400.. It does work. There are many of us in here to prove it. Take the leap.. try something new.. you arent seeing results doing what your doing now, so why not try it?:)
Hope this helps0 -
sounds like you know what you gotta do but are scared to eat more and lift heavier. lol thats a mental block that i dont think i can talk you out of but you know i'm here to support you, you've done so amazingly so far and you will continue to do so. you are VERY persistent so i know you'll figure out what works for you eventually. if you wanna borrow my new rules book let me know, i'm photocopying all the important stuff today for my workouts so i wont really NEED the book for a little.
Nope. Not scared to lift heavier, just not sure where to start. I've been increasing my weights in the gym, but I don't venture to the free weight area because I lack a spotter. But ...I mean, what do I do? Just keep lifting heavier hand weights? And how much? Etc etc. But I lift as heavy as I can go now. I have increased what I lift......but I mean, can you do that with JUST the hand weights??? I was looking into weight stuff but a LOT of it seems like I need a spotter!!!!!!!!! I need to friend who lifts at my gym.....I was contemplating posting on CL or something!!!
A little scared to eat more because right now, with the lack of hunger, I'm not entirely sure it's the culprit. Writing it all out was kind of a help for me but.......really? Is my diet just too crappy? Are my calories too poor? I wonder because I'm sitting here thinking that with the increase in weight/resistance....I'm not burning as many calories per work out, right? So if I'm not burning as much, then why would I need to increase my calories????? I guess I don't want to jump into the increase for no good reason??? And I REALLY don't want to gain. Your lack of gain, though,........that's encouraging...........
It's also about fitting in work outs and I think I have to up my totally TIME with weights....but that goes back to just not knowing what to do. I think on payday I'm going to get NROL4W . It has actual work out outlined, right?
Edit:
Thinking about it.......I don't feel the same burn with weights as cardio so I guess Im sitting here going "am I REALLY working as hard???"
yes it has workouts outlined, recepies, and shows you some of the workouts and explains them for you. its really great. seriously the best book i think ive ever bought. i made my copies today to make my gym binder (easy access so i dont forget what comes next and such). its a really good starting point because i was like you, like where the hell do i begin and how many reps should i be doing? lol and lack of hunger isnt always a sign you arent ready to move up in cals, its been shown that working out can temporarily suppress your appetite for a few hours after (seriously it explains a lot for me lol). not to mention your body is really used to eating so little already.0 -
If you are focused on weight training, then you will need to stop focusing on your weight, other than what you can lift at the gym. The scale is a terrible indicator of success at this point. Eat more so you can lift heavier. Track your BF%, your strength, your endurance, and how your clothes are fitting. Those will be much more exciting than the number on the scale.0
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I'm close to goal and only eating a 10% deficit from TDEE and I'm loosing faster than I expected. Try it perhaps.0
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If you are focused on weight training, then you will need to stop focusing on your weight, other than what you can lift at the gym. The scale is a terrible indicator of success at this point. Eat more so you can lift heavier. Track your BF%, your strength, your endurance, and how your clothes are fitting. Those will be much more exciting than the number on the scale.
This.
Okay, I was obsessed about what the scale was telling me at the beginning of this year. I had those dreaded last 10 to lose. I started lifting, changed things up, etc. Eight months later, i'm actually up 4 pounds. Does my body look better? Yes. Do I feel better? Yes. Does the scale still matter? Yes and it shouldn't have that power over me (but since I used to weight over 200 lbs, it does because i'm paranoid like that)!
I know your friend does Ironman but don't compare yourself to her. You are who you are. Embrace all that you have accomplished. Maybe you need to evaluate and change your goal. Instead of thinking that you are going to lose those last 10, think of other goals you can hit. Do you want to lift a certian weight (definately check into a program, it sounds like you are not sure what to do there), do you want to run a certian distance, do you want to eat a certian amount? You get the picture
Dieting = scale
Healthy = eating right, exercise
Being healthy and dieting are two different things. Focus on being healthy, and your body shape will follow 0 -
Have you checked out the eat more to weigh less group on here? They have a lot of info, about uping calories, and resets.
? you prob have cheked em out..eh? :-)
:laugh: Ive is a friend of mine, so it just popped up that she posted the topic, and I clicked on it. I just saw it when I was going through the group posts. Derp. MFP should tell you what it's posted under, so people like me look less stupid. :grumble:0 -
Have you checked out the eat more to weigh less group on here? They have a lot of info, about uping calories, and resets.
? you prob have cheked em out..eh? :-)
:laugh: Ive is a friend of mine, so it just popped up that she posted the topic, and I clicked on it. I just saw it when I was going through the group posts. Derp. MFP should tell you what it's posted under, so people like me look less stupid. :grumble:
...hahaha! well at least ou can probably spell the work 'checked' correctly...
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I'm going to suggest you hire a trainer for a few weight lifting sessions. It sounds like you don't really no what you're doing in the weight room (no offense, I was there once too), and you need someone to show you the ropes. Sorry, but you won't get that from a book NROL4W is good (I did it) but not what I would call a starter program.
Also, forget about looking like your friend. yes, it's possible, but if she's been a competitive athlete her whole life, she has a huge head start on you, by comparing yourself to her you are only stressing yourself out.
All the other women are right that maybe you should focus on toning up, and forget about those last few pounds. When you are this low, it's time to stop weighing yourself and start using a measuring tape. But if you really do want to lose those "last 5" you just have to eat really clean. I go through phases, sometimes I'm happy at 140. So I let my body stay there, other times I really want to be 130. I can get down to 135 through more exercise and pretty clean eating, but if I want to get to 130, it has to be 100% clean- no grains, no desserts, and no alcohol.
On a side note though, I was maintaining at 135 eating 1200+exercise cals (worked out to about 1400-1600/day) but felt like crap all the time, tired, whiney, etc. Now I'm eating 2,100 and feel much better, and still haven't gain. Those 2,100 are good, clean calories (most of the time), but like I said, over 600 calories more and no gain. If I ate an extra 600 calories of cake everyday though, that would be another story.0 -
I think you need to be clearer about your goals.
You say you want to be 'fit and thin' and look like you work out but on the other hand you want to be more like your shredded triathlete friend. It doesn't sound like these are the same thing.
I think you would LOOK better with some more shapely muscle and not necessarily less scale weight so your focus should now be on losing body fat not scale weight.
Are you prepared to try something completely different?0
