When guys say all the right things....
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Life is too short. Just run with it. Have fun. Enjoy him now. Have some crazy hot sex. Who freaking cares. If it lasts it lasts .. if it doesn't .. it is another life experience to think about when you are old and can't walk.0
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In my opinion, talk is cheap. A man can say all the right things, but until he shows you in his actions (and I don't believe 1 date let's him make those actions). So, when this happens to me (now, and it's taken many years to go this route), I take it with a grain of salt, enjoy his company, but don't look much past that night. It eliminates the "over thinking" stage and the less stress on my brain the better.
My present guy and I were VERY good friends first. Best Friends, very fast. Both of us just trusted each other off the bat (and neither of us are trusting people), but one day at lunch he wasn't acting the same and I asked him what his issue was...after much coaxing, he admitted that he had fallen in love with me. It took me 4 months to actually believe him (after he said it at least a million times) and to say it back. Only because I was waiting to see if his actions resembled his words. In the past, I'd let myself fall in love with the words and not the man. This time, I fell in love with the man.
So, my advice, take it one day at a time. And don't get all "Does he like me?". If he calls, he calls. If he wants to see you again, you go out with him. You've got so much time to sort things out, don't stress the small stuff.0 -
I'm wondering if he has very little dating experience? Mention of deleting the online profile on the first date would make me feel uncomfortable, but as a few others have said: you have time to feel this out. Just be smart, and keep your eyes open- but sounds like you're already doing that. Have fun!0
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Life is too short. Just run with it. Have fun. Enjoy him now. Have some crazy hot sex. Who freaking cares. If it lasts it lasts .. if it doesn't .. it is another life experience to think about when you are old and can't walk.
Ding ding ding! We have a winner!
I understand wanting to find the relationship right away, to settle down and making with the white dress and babies - but not every person you date is destined to lead there. While I agree that he seems a bit overenthusiastic, you obviously had a good time with him or you wouldn't have spent 7 hours with the dude. Even then, you've known the guy for 7 hours, don't worry so much about all the things he may or may not be lying about. There's no way anyone here is going to know for sure either way.
Enjoy yourself, stay within your comfort zone, remain open and honest and go from there. Maybe after two weeks you lose interest, or he does. No skin off your back, there will be another potential candidate. Worry less about the hubby, the kids and the white picket fence and just have fun dating because that's how things come together.0 -
I went on a date Friday night with a guy who I had only talked to briefly. The date lasted 7 hours and was probably the best one I have ever been on.
7 hours is a really long first date. I've heard about these long dates. How do you really go above 3 or 3.5 hours on a first date? I think 3.5 hours is my longest first date, but typically my first dates are 1-2.5 hours.
I'm not being critical, just wondering if anyone can shed any light on how that happens.
The first date I had with the 'love of my life' lasted 2 days!!! :laugh: We stayed up allllllllllll night talking!! In fact it only really ended then as we both had to go to work! Perhaps you haven't experienced that all encompassing feeling yet DM. And not everyone does! :flowerforyou:
This happened to me too! He came over Friday night for a Halloween party and ended up staying until Sunday night. It was awesome.0 -
You don't have to believe anything he says, it's perfectly healthy to be a little but guarded.
But just because he says he wants to get married and have kids doesn't mean that he's going to get married and have kids with you. Get to know him a little better and then start worrying about everything else. You've been on 1 date.
I actually really like Roadie's point for you, Megs. We both know many women over-analyze. You and I have discussed this exact thing before. I've definitely been guilty of the filling in the blanks "with you". Just because a man wants those things, doesn't mean it'll end up being with you and it could even be telling you what he thinks you want to hear (Definitely been guilty of falling for that one!). BUT, that also doesn't mean it won't end up being you either...
So one date is a little too soon to tell. He's either genuine and you need to give it time to develop, OR he's playing you... Only time and a few more dates will tell!! Good Luck sweetie!0 -
When a guy says those things to me, I realize that he only wants the box my virginity came in and nothing else. If a guy that hasnt gotten to know me yet tells me words like boyfriend, forever and beautiful and "let's" - I think- oh here's that too good to be true business! - move along.
You don't think that the guy can be enamored and actually mean these things? Sure, it's premature and he sounds like he is 15, but initial chemistry can develop into true feelings I'd hope.
Sometimes guys genuinely feel these things when they meet a great girl! The problem is, it's chemicals/lust whatever. My friend's dad who runs a dating website calls it "chemical enthrallment." Takes anywhere from a couple dates to a couple months for this effect in the brain to wear off. He might actually mean it when he met you because you're so awesome... but just keep your feelings in check until he's had time to come back down to earth and process his own insecurities/issues.
I feel like there is a difference between a man feeling these things about a girl and blurting them out, but if everytime you speak- he answers you with a smooth cliche 'baby as long as we're together' or 'dont worry baby, we're going to see the whole world together' or 'im so happy youre going to be my next girlfriend' or 'you know we're gonna get married, right" or "youre the most beautiful girl ive ever seen' or 'let's rule the world side by side' or 'we need to make this official so we can have matching halloween costumes' or 'i feel like i can leave the dating game now, i've found exactly what I was looking for, with you.'
OR ALL of those things on the same night- the first date?
shakes head
thats an evil person. he wants you to totally get swept off your feet and then he'll poof.
Im sure there are one or two guys out there that would tell a woman on the first date that they dont see a need to keep looking because they're falling in love - but in general when a man tells me that on the first date - well - he's most definitely too good to be true, in my experience.0 -
Life is too short. Just run with it. Have fun. Enjoy him now. Have some crazy hot sex. Who freaking cares. If it lasts it lasts .. if it doesn't .. it is another life experience to think about when you are old and can't walk.
i dont feel this way, i dont have enough heart left to keep throwing it at people that are just going to play with it and then leave it in the dirt on the playground when recess is over. I dont throw caution to the wind and say - go ahead and have your way with me - itll be fun for 15 minutes before I spend a weekend feeling like the world's greatest fool.
I dont like feeling tricked.0 -
Life is too short. Just run with it. Have fun. Enjoy him now. Have some crazy hot sex. Who freaking cares. If it lasts it lasts .. if it doesn't .. it is another life experience to think about when you are old and can't walk.
i dont feel this way, i dont have enough heart left to keep throwing it at people that are just going to play with it and then leave it in the dirt on the playground when recess is over. I dont throw caution to the wind and say - go ahead and have your way with me - itll be fun for 15 minutes before I spend a weekend feeling like the world's greatest fool.
I dont like feeling tricked.
Gotta admit. I totally agree. The older I get, the more I wish I didn't have to be guarded, cautious and a little wary. Men who know how to talk and use emotion to manipulate are my kryptonite. Sure, I am and have been that fun and carefree girl..but at some point it would be nice not to have to deal with all the games and just meet someone genuine, who actually cares for me and is a decent human being.
Gulp..getting vulnerable on mfp? Clearly time to go and get on with my day.0 -
I don't even pay attention when guys say things like that on a first date. Maybe he means it, maybe he doesn't. Either way, if you like him, continue to see him and just go with the flow.0
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Life is too short. Just run with it. Have fun. Enjoy him now. Have some crazy hot sex. Who freaking cares. If it lasts it lasts .. if it doesn't .. it is another life experience to think about when you are old and can't walk.
Ding ding ding! We have a winner!
I understand wanting to find the relationship right away, to settle down and making with the white dress and babies - but not every person you date is destined to lead there. While I agree that he seems a bit overenthusiastic, you obviously had a good time with him or you wouldn't have spent 7 hours with the dude. Even then, you've known the guy for 7 hours, don't worry so much about all the things he may or may not be lying about. There's no way anyone here is going to know for sure either way.
Enjoy yourself, stay within your comfort zone, remain open and honest and go from there. Maybe after two weeks you lose interest, or he does. No skin off your back, there will be another potential candidate. Worry less about the hubby, the kids and the white picket fence and just have fun dating because that's how things come together.
Yep, this. When he said all those things, was he saying it like "I could see you being my wife and the mother of my kids someday" or did he say "I want to have a wife and kids someday." The first is unacceptable, the second isn't.
My roommate has been on 2-3 dates with a guy and they've already discussed the fact that she won't have to work if they ever get married. I thought that was kind of weird but I guess not.0 -
I went on a date Friday night with a guy who I had only talked to briefly. The date lasted 7 hours and was probably the best one I have ever been on.
7 hours is a really long first date. I've heard about these long dates. How do you really go above 3 or 3.5 hours on a first date? I think 3.5 hours is my longest first date, but typically my first dates are 1-2.5 hours.
I'm not being critical, just wondering if anyone can shed any light on how that happens.
My 1st Date with my boyfriend lasted 7 hours. We met at Dave n Busters for dinner at 7pm and at 2am he was walking me to my car. We talked two pasted our dinner, played arcade games and a few games of pool. It was an awesome 1st date. Never once did I look at my clock.0 -
on the first date? there wouldnt be a 2nd date because guy is either a liar or desperate0
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I truly hope in your case he is who he says he is. Sadly, my experience with someone just like that, he was not what he said he was. Tread slowly, one day at a time.0
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OR ALL of those things on the same night- the first date?
shakes head
thats an evil person. he wants you to totally get swept off your feet and then he'll poof.
I sort of assumed he was just a dumb *kitten*, not evil.0 -
OR ALL of those things on the same night- the first date?
shakes head
thats an evil person. he wants you to totally get swept off your feet and then he'll poof.
I sort of assumed he was just a dumb *kitten*, not evil.
No. There is no middle ground. There are no other possibilities. Only extremes exist! Life is black and white!0 -
This made me stare at my screen blankly for about 30 seconds. Who has these rules? After 7 hours of feeding BS lines to a girl, how else are we supposed to get laid?
Aw, just kidding. Congrats, OP, sounds like a great first date.
Chris, there was a post on here a few months back when a woman got flamed for inviting a guy back to her place and NOT wanting sex. Apparently that is an unwritten rule in America - if you invite a guy back, you want it?? lol
I tried to explain that it wasn't necessarily like that here. Of course, it could very well lead to sex, but as we have archaic pub opening hours it's pretty normal to head back to someone's home if you want to extend the evening. Either with friends or a date, same principal.
And I know you were kiddin, but I like it when you stare at the screen blankly and hope you are doing it again.....!! :bigsmile:
I had no idea to what you referred! So glad I have my answer. It has been 30 years since I dated, and 5 since I had sex, so I am absolutely positive if I invited him to my place, there WOULD be sex
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This made me stare at my screen blankly for about 30 seconds. Who has these rules? After 7 hours of feeding BS lines to a girl, how else are we supposed to get laid?
Aw, just kidding. Congrats, OP, sounds like a great first date.
Chris, there was a post on here a few months back when a woman got flamed for inviting a guy back to her place and NOT wanting sex. Apparently that is an unwritten rule in America - if you invite a guy back, you want it?? lol
I tried to explain that it wasn't necessarily like that here. Of course, it could very well lead to sex, but as we have archaic pub opening hours it's pretty normal to head back to someone's home if you want to extend the evening. Either with friends or a date, same principal.
And I know you were kiddin, but I like it when you stare at the screen blankly and hope you are doing it again.....!! :bigsmile:
I had no idea to what you referred! So glad I have my answer. It has been 30 years since I dated, and 5 since I had sex, so I am absolutely positive if I invited him to my place, there WOULD be sex
:laugh: :laugh: and why not indeed! :bigsmile:0 -
This made me stare at my screen blankly for about 30 seconds. Who has these rules? After 7 hours of feeding BS lines to a girl, how else are we supposed to get laid?
Aw, just kidding. Congrats, OP, sounds like a great first date.
Chris, there was a post on here a few months back when a woman got flamed for inviting a guy back to her place and NOT wanting sex. Apparently that is an unwritten rule in America - if you invite a guy back, you want it?? lol
I tried to explain that it wasn't necessarily like that here. Of course, it could very well lead to sex, but as we have archaic pub opening hours it's pretty normal to head back to someone's home if you want to extend the evening. Either with friends or a date, same principal.
And I know you were kiddin, but I like it when you stare at the screen blankly and hope you are doing it again.....!! :bigsmile:
I had no idea to what you referred! So glad I have my answer. It has been 30 years since I dated, and 5 since I had sex, so I am absolutely positive if I invited him to my place, there WOULD be sex
:laugh: :laugh: and why not indeed! :bigsmile:
"Would you like to come upstairs for some vagina? *kitten*! COFFEE! I MEANT COFFEE! Would you like some coffee god d*ammit"0 -
I went on a date Friday night with a guy who I had only talked to briefly. The date lasted 7 hours and was probably the best one I have ever been on.
7 hours is a really long first date. I've heard about these long dates. How do you really go above 3 or 3.5 hours on a first date? I think 3.5 hours is my longest first date, but typically my first dates are 1-2.5 hours.
I'm not being critical, just wondering if anyone can shed any light on how that happens.
I've had that happen before too, when it just goes REALLY well and doesn't end. Had a 1st date once, we met around 7-7:30ish (pm) and it went until 3 or 4 am. We just clicked, had a lot in common to talk about and then, um ...
perhaps some smooching for a few hrs :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: LOL
And FYI, we dated for almost a year.....0 -
People are strange. Or, rather, we're all different. Massively different. I'm trying to keep that in mind as I read/respond to posts here. That's probably why it's a mistake to write "men usually... blah blah blah," or "women almost never ..... blah blah blah." We're all outliers, to some extent.
Yes, it's strange (to me) for a man to be so enamored on the first date. Or at least express his feelings so openly. Definitely not my style. I agree with almost everyone else posting here: proceed with caution.
My initial reaction, to be honest, was, "What a fruitcake." But again, outliers, outliers, outliers. It could be the proverbial love at first sight, and who can argue with that? I guess I'm not that cynical, yet.
Good luck.
--P0 -
I think it depends on your definition of "love"... I think it depends what the people who say this means by love, each time someone says it.People are strange. Or, rather, we're all different. Massively different. I'm trying to keep that in mind as I read/respond to posts here. That's probably why it's a mistake to write "men usually... blah blah blah," or "women almost never ..... blah blah blah." We're all outliers, to some extent.
Yes, it's strange (to me) for a man to be so enamored on the first date. Or at least express his feelings so openly. Definitely not my style. I agree with almost everyone else posting here: proceed with caution.
My initial reaction, to be honest, was, "What a fruitcake." But again, outliers, outliers, outliers. It could be the proverbial love at first sight, and who can argue with that? I guess I'm not that cynical, yet.
If you mean Love at first sight (see the capital L?) then I hardly believe that it is possible, unless we have some hidden magical power that allows us to scan the mind (and "soul") of people and know for a fact that "OMG this is the one Love!".
If you mean love at first sight, then yeah perhaps there is some degree of love when we meet someone (which I would call "like" personally but eh!). Some love (or like as I would call it) that will evolve and change over time (stronger maybe, or different).
So if a girl loved me after a single date, I would think "she loves me as much as and within the limits of the love someone can have after a first date". In other words, not true Love, but still some love (like, interest, attraction).
This love will then evolve over time and shapeshift as the relationship progresses (the "I love you" you say after 3 months is definitely not the same you say after 10 years, and definitely not the same some people would say after 1 date).
So yeah. Take the "I love you" on the first date with a grain of salt, and know what it means.0 -
I think of Love at first sight as discovering a person to whom you are instantly and magnetically drawn to on all levels at once so you cant even distinguish sexual/emotional/intellectual/etc - just an overwhelming understanding that - lol no matter how hard you fight it - youre going to be in each others' lives from this day forward- if not forever - then for a very long time.
I also believe this is more rare than blue four leaf clovers - so if you happen across it - dont throw it away - youll make yourself miserable.
Knowing how rare it is - and that it has to be mutual - is one more reason I proceed with caution when a man tells me he is falling for me and i dont feel it back. I dont think you can fall in LOVE with someone who isnt in LOVE with you too. I feel like love is something that has to be shared. You cant do it alone. You can have love for them, you can be infatuated, you can lust, you can have friendship, you can have a million kinds of deep connections, but I think to be in love... you both have to be there.
And that meet eyes across a crowded room scenario? Ive actually experienced it.
The room does spin and you do actually forget to breathe.
Just a heads up.0
