Made a date for this weekend
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I think you should go and have a good time. Don't be a text nazi!
Give him a chance... you might actually enjoy yourself... and if not, like Z said it's a free meal.0 -
go baby girl - consider it bravery practice and a chance to strengthen your self confidence - practice makes perfect0
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In my experience, automatic spell check on phones is the devil. He may of actually just mistyped...I do it all the time...
I'm glad you are choosing to go - you might surprise yourself. He may be a dreamboat...LOL0 -
go baby girl - consider it bravery practice and a chance to strengthen your self confidence - practice makes perfect
BRAVERY PRACTICE!
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I'm amazed that I was the only one to say cancel. It is my preference that a woman who is not fully engaged and thinking positive thoughts about me cancel.0
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And come on.. his spelling mistakes on his texts annoys you? I thought I was particular about things! lol
You must be joking Mike. In my experience, women are far more fussy than men. Spelling mistakes on texts isn't even that fussy.0 -
I'm amazed that I was the only one to say cancel. It is my preference that a woman who is not fully engaged and thinking positive thoughts about me cancel.
I was too! I was hoping everyone would just say nah .. don't go..lol. My thinking is like yours DM .. I wouldn't want someone to go on a date with me if they had to talk themselves into it.
But .. they may be right, I may be slightly panicking and it has nothing to with HIM, more me not wanting to put myself up to bat again.0 -
I'm amazed that I was the only one to say cancel. It is my preference that a woman who is not fully engaged and thinking positive thoughts about me cancel.
I wonder if this is a personal thing that varies by individual or if it's a gender thing where maybe many guys know on sight whether they're into a woman, so if they're not feeling it the date is a waste of time... whereas many women can be won over by a guy who presents himself so-so in a dating profile if they have a great personality?
I always say go unless you're 100% sure it won't work because I've found that the men who most met my inner desires were the guys I wasn't expecting it from. If I had just gone after initial impressions, I would never have dated Bar Owner or BeardBurn, and I *REALLY* would have missed out on some happy memories!
Edit to add: Also, dating guys you aren't sure about can really tell you a lot about yourself. For example, I never even KNEW that men still existed who would protect a woman and stand up for her when people were rude, or would do gentlemanly things like give you his coat. I was used to guys like my ex and my dad who always sided with the aggressors or keep warm while you froze because it's your fault you didn't bring a warmer outfit (never mind the fact you didn't want me to wear the bulky stuff). Bar Owner was jerky in many ways, but this part of his personality so spoke to my heart that I didn't care. And now that's a trait I look for in a man. And to get it I'm willing to sacrifice other things where before I might have been more rigid in my expectations.0 -
This isn't even for dates but just going out in general. I have many times not felt like going but once I got there had fun and was very happy I went. It is okay to be nervous for a first date but unless there is something that would make me feel like I am afraid for my safety I would probably go.
Also what kind of date is it? Is it just drinks or are you going to something that will last longer for sure?0 -
This isn't even for dates but just going out in general. I have many times not felt like going but once I got there had fun and was very happy I went.
I agree sometimes I go through this but once I'm there I thrive! I always get a little nervous before a first date and want to back out.0 -
Im too scared about my own faults and shortcomings to spend the time before a date sure about the guy and thinking nothing but positive things about him. Until the moment we are standing in front of each other - i have to to do everything possible to build my own self up and get ready and put myself in a state of mind that he will enjoy -
Ive never been fully engaged in any date before date 10 - I was always about to cancel.0 -
I only said to go because in my own personal experience, I find every excuse to get out of an position that makes me nervous. At the time that I agreed to it I told myself it would be fun, then as time goes on I doubt myself, which is probably why Jennifer came here and asked what she should do. I felt Jennifer was trying to get out of the date not because she didn't like the guy, but because of personal insecurities. Because us ladies are known to do that...
First dates are NERVE RACKING. But if you go into know realizing you are on equal playing fields and no one has anything to prove and you go and just have fun and meet someone new, then it's not so bad. I think women in general tend to build up dates as something they need to "win". Which in turn makes us nervous. Which in turn makes us want to sit at home under a blanket on our couches and drown our sorrows in Ben and Jerrys (which is probably why I needed to lose those 45 pounds in the first place...:laugh:0 -
I'm amazed that I was the only one to say cancel. It is my preference that a woman who is not fully engaged and thinking positive thoughts about me cancel.
I think she will be fine if she goes. I'm part of the group that always wants to cancel for various reasons, however when I get there and the date is underway everything turns out just fine and is fun. I just think it's pregame jitters and maybe she is looking for reasons to cancel. I say go and make the judgements after meeting him.0 -
Im too scared about my own faults and shortcomings to spend the time before a date sure about the guy and thinking nothing but positive things about him. Until the moment we are standing in front of each other - i have to to do everything possible to build my own self up and get ready and put myself in a state of mind that he will enjoy -
Ive never been fully engaged in any date before date 10 - I was always about to cancel.
The funny thing is, really women I would argue have a bit of advantage in this department.
Most of the time I only consider 2 types of personalities, as completely disqualifying.
1) You are crazy.
2) You want to spend my money. (I don't mean for the date, I mean you try and get me to spend
my money on random things throughout the date, or make it known you love to be "spoiled"
in a financial sense)
While I don't speak for all guys, I myself know that I am VERY lenient when it comes to personalities.
If you collect bugs in your spare time (LOL) I will not hold that against you, or consider that creepy.
I look at most personalities as pluses or minuses.
So really, if you have been honest with the person with your physical appearance, or we have
already seen you you (as a woman) are generally in.
EDIT: I am reading this may look as if I am highjacking the thread that isn't my intention.
I just know that men are usually forgiving on personality, so being concerned with your
own "shortcomings" is interesting to me.0 -
This isn't even for dates but just going out in general. I have many times not felt like going but once I got there had fun and was very happy I went.
I agree sometimes I go through this but once I'm there I thrive! I always get a little nervous before a first date and want to back out.
It is dinner. I see him around school a lot. He is from DSS and comes in to interview students etc. We chat a little bit while he is waiting for the kids to come down .. he says .. you know, you have beautiful eyes .. and you are such a sweet and funny person.. we should do something sometime .. I freeze and everything in me wants to hurl .. I say ha ha! thanks .. and yeah, we should! Kid comes down, he leaves and I feel relief that I got out of that. Then he comes BACK in after talking to the kid, which he never did before .. and says .. so about that date .. GAH!!!! I don't even know how old he is!!0 -
Frankly, it's easier to text him today to cancel than try and turn down date 2 when you actually meet him...speaking from true experience.0
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This isn't even for dates but just going out in general. I have many times not felt like going but once I got there had fun and was very happy I went.
I agree sometimes I go through this but once I'm there I thrive! I always get a little nervous before a first date and want to back out.
It is dinner. I see him around school a lot. He is from DSS and comes in to interview students etc. We chat a little bit while he is waiting for the kids to come down .. he says .. you know, you have beautiful eyes .. and you are such a sweet and funny person.. we should do something sometime .. I freeze and everything in me wants to hurl .. I say ha ha! thanks .. and yeah, we should! Kid comes down, he leaves and I feel relief that I got out of that. Then he comes BACK in after talking to the kid, which he never did before .. and says .. so about that date .. GAH!!!! I don't even know how old he is!!
Is that a good hurl like you are just nervous or a disgusted hurl? haha
Do you think he's younger than you?0 -
Frankly, it's easier to text him today to cancel than try and turn down date 2 when you actually meet him...speaking from true experience.
I only speak from untrue experiences
:laugh: 0 -
This isn't even for dates but just going out in general. I have many times not felt like going but once I got there had fun and was very happy I went.
I agree sometimes I go through this but once I'm there I thrive! I always get a little nervous before a first date and want to back out.
It is dinner. I see him around school a lot. He is from DSS and comes in to interview students etc. We chat a little bit while he is waiting for the kids to come down .. he says .. you know, you have beautiful eyes .. and you are such a sweet and funny person.. we should do something sometime .. I freeze and everything in me wants to hurl .. I say ha ha! thanks .. and yeah, we should! Kid comes down, he leaves and I feel relief that I got out of that. Then he comes BACK in after talking to the kid, which he never did before .. and says .. so about that date .. GAH!!!! I don't even know how old he is!!
So... wait, you actually don't like the guy but you still agreed to go on a date and give him your number? I might not be understanding properly0 -
Frankly, it's easier to text him today to cancel than try and turn down date 2 when you actually meet him...speaking from true experience.
Christine, You know how everyone - but Carl especially - is always telling you to step out of your comfort zone? This is one of those cases where if you're ever in this situation, please just take a step back and a deep breath and just go . You never know what might happen. :flowerforyou:
I totally agree that it's insecurities and pre-date nerves in this case. It will either be a good date or a bad date, but in the end it will be worth it as practice.0
