I am a tramp.
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Waaa I typed out a long reply and the damn thing was eaten up.
The guy and I haven't had any talk about exclusivity. I could care less if he's dating, sleeping, whatever with other chicks... not because I don't like him (I completely disagree with that statement btw), but because I believe up until that literal moment of the talk, it's fair game. It's not his business what I do. Granted, if he were to ask me "are you still dating other guys?" I would tell him. Also, if he were to ask me not to, if I liked him, I would. Simple. But he hasn't, nor have I asked him. I'm not even sure where we're heading. I'm still trying to figure out if I see him as relationship material. Yup, not rushing that part again!
Also, I have read guys comments on THIS board talking about the same thing. They might not rush a chick who has potential relationship material in sleeping with her but they have no problem banging other chicks who aren't that special.
I never told the guy I wanted to take things slow (besides the relationship stuff). I told him I preferred to have sex in an exclusive relationship. But last date, we were very physical. VERY. It just went that way. And instead of feeling guilty or bad or ashamed for being a human and wanting to because I like him, I decided to own it and call it as it was- a good time. There was no talk about expectations if we did more than kissing, nor has there been. And I'm perfectly content at this point.
I have no problem with multi-dating. Apparently the majority of the peeps here, don't do it but I do and will continue to do so. As long as everyone is safe and good, no harm (in my eyes).
You little tramp, you! LOL. J/k. My girl friends always say it's not cheating if it's not official.0 -
Waaa I typed out a long reply and the damn thing was eaten up.
The guy and I haven't had any talk about exclusivity. I could care less if he's dating, sleeping, whatever with other chicks... not because I don't like him (I completely disagree with that statement btw), but because I believe up until that literal moment of the talk, it's fair game. It's not his business what I do. Granted, if he were to ask me "are you still dating other guys?" I would tell him. Also, if he were to ask me not to, if I liked him, I would. Simple. But he hasn't, nor have I asked him. I'm not even sure where we're heading. I'm still trying to figure out if I see him as relationship material. Yup, not rushing that part again!
Also, I have read guys comments on THIS board talking about the same thing. They might not rush a chick who has potential relationship material in sleeping with her but they have no problem banging other chicks who aren't that special.
I never told the guy I wanted to take things slow (besides the relationship stuff). I told him I preferred to have sex in an exclusive relationship. But last date, we were very physical. VERY. It just went that way. And instead of feeling guilty or bad or ashamed for being a human and wanting to because I like him, I decided to own it and call it as it was- a good time. There was no talk about expectations if we did more than kissing, nor has there been. And I'm perfectly content at this point.
I have no problem with multi-dating. Apparently the majority of the peeps here, don't do it but I do and will continue to do so. As long as everyone is safe and good, no harm (in my eyes).
You little tramp, you! LOL. J/k. My girl friends always say it's not cheating if it's not official.
I like your friends lol. That's exactly how I feel.0 -
"I have no problem with multi-dating. Apparently the majority of the peeps here, don't do it but I do and will continue to do so. As long as everyone is safe and good, no harm (in my eyes)."
I am with you. I don't think it is as cut and dried as people say either..there are stages of a relationship and what you would do or not do during each of those stages.0 -
I agree that there is nothing wrong with dating multiple partners until you specifically and mutually agree with one of those partners to be exclusive. I don't ask questions and wouldn't want any details.
I don't know that I have it in me to make that much effort, though - not with the professional and fitness commitments I currently have in my life. If I was a hot girl who was asked out on dates any time I went out in public, this might be different.0 -
Waaa I typed out a long reply and the damn thing was eaten up.
The guy and I haven't had any talk about exclusivity. I could care less if he's dating, sleeping, whatever with other chicks... not because I don't like him (I completely disagree with that statement btw), but because I believe up until that literal moment of the talk, it's fair game. It's not his business what I do. Granted, if he were to ask me "are you still dating other guys?" I would tell him. Also, if he were to ask me not to, if I liked him, I would. Simple. But he hasn't, nor have I asked him. I'm not even sure where we're heading. I'm still trying to figure out if I see him as relationship material. Yup, not rushing that part again!
Also, I have read guys comments on THIS board talking about the same thing. They might not rush a chick who has potential relationship material in sleeping with her but they have no problem banging other chicks who aren't that special.
I never told the guy I wanted to take things slow (besides the relationship stuff). I told him I preferred to have sex in an exclusive relationship. But last date, we were very physical. VERY. It just went that way. And instead of feeling guilty or bad or ashamed for being a human and wanting to because I like him, I decided to own it and call it as it was- a good time. There was no talk about expectations if we did more than kissing, nor has there been. And I'm perfectly content at this point.
I have no problem with multi-dating. Apparently the majority of the peeps here, don't do it but I do and will continue to do so. As long as everyone is safe and good, no harm (in my eyes).
You little tramp, you! LOL. J/k. My girl friends always say it's not cheating if it's not official.
Easy to say ladies until the shoe is on the other foot huh. If you liked the guy and were emotionally invested in him then found out I get you wouldn't like it as much.0 -
Waaa I typed out a long reply and the damn thing was eaten up.
The guy and I haven't had any talk about exclusivity. I could care less if he's dating, sleeping, whatever with other chicks... not because I don't like him (I completely disagree with that statement btw), but because I believe up until that literal moment of the talk, it's fair game. It's not his business what I do. Granted, if he were to ask me "are you still dating other guys?" I would tell him. Also, if he were to ask me not to, if I liked him, I would. Simple. But he hasn't, nor have I asked him. I'm not even sure where we're heading. I'm still trying to figure out if I see him as relationship material. Yup, not rushing that part again!
Also, I have read guys comments on THIS board talking about the same thing. They might not rush a chick who has potential relationship material in sleeping with her but they have no problem banging other chicks who aren't that special.
I never told the guy I wanted to take things slow (besides the relationship stuff). I told him I preferred to have sex in an exclusive relationship. But last date, we were very physical. VERY. It just went that way. And instead of feeling guilty or bad or ashamed for being a human and wanting to because I like him, I decided to own it and call it as it was- a good time. There was no talk about expectations if we did more than kissing, nor has there been. And I'm perfectly content at this point.
I have no problem with multi-dating. Apparently the majority of the peeps here, don't do it but I do and will continue to do so. As long as everyone is safe and good, no harm (in my eyes).
You little tramp, you! LOL. J/k. My girl friends always say it's not cheating if it's not official.
Easy to say ladies until the shoe is on the other foot huh. If you liked the guy and were emotionally invested in him then found out I get you wouldn't like it as much.
But the thing is...we don't go into that thinking or expecting the guy to be exclusive until told otherwise. And if the girl is still dating other people too then she really can't get upset to find out that he was seeing other people too.0 -
Waaa I typed out a long reply and the damn thing was eaten up.
The guy and I haven't had any talk about exclusivity. I could care less if he's dating, sleeping, whatever with other chicks... not because I don't like him (I completely disagree with that statement btw), but because I believe up until that literal moment of the talk, it's fair game. It's not his business what I do. Granted, if he were to ask me "are you still dating other guys?" I would tell him. Also, if he were to ask me not to, if I liked him, I would. Simple. But he hasn't, nor have I asked him. I'm not even sure where we're heading. I'm still trying to figure out if I see him as relationship material. Yup, not rushing that part again!
Also, I have read guys comments on THIS board talking about the same thing. They might not rush a chick who has potential relationship material in sleeping with her but they have no problem banging other chicks who aren't that special.
I never told the guy I wanted to take things slow (besides the relationship stuff). I told him I preferred to have sex in an exclusive relationship. But last date, we were very physical. VERY. It just went that way. And instead of feeling guilty or bad or ashamed for being a human and wanting to because I like him, I decided to own it and call it as it was- a good time. There was no talk about expectations if we did more than kissing, nor has there been. And I'm perfectly content at this point.
I have no problem with multi-dating. Apparently the majority of the peeps here, don't do it but I do and will continue to do so. As long as everyone is safe and good, no harm (in my eyes).
You little tramp, you! LOL. J/k. My girl friends always say it's not cheating if it's not official.
Easy to say ladies until the shoe is on the other foot huh. If you liked the guy and were emotionally invested in him then found out I get you wouldn't like it as much.
But the thing is...we don't go into that thinking or expecting the guy to be exclusive until told otherwise. And if the girl is still dating other people too then she really can't get upset to find out that he was seeing other people too.
Yeah, but telling one guy you want to not have sex unless you're exclusive and then having sex with someone else... Seems a little backwards. I would rather date one guy at a time and have sex with the person that I want to have a relationship with before going out and finding a partner on the side.0 -
I agree totally Kitsune. Its all good and well to go have fun, but in my book, if im dating someone, I concentrate on them, maybe its old fashioned but I wouldnt think its very gentlemen like to be dating someone, whilst they are possibly becoming emotionally invested in me and be sleeping with someone else at the same time... I wouldnt think much of the girl who did that to me either.
If both parties are openly doing it to each other, thats fine, thats up to them to deal with it, but its all behind closed doors and one sided then I dont think thats cool at all.0 -
I agree totally Kitsune. Its all good and well to go have fun, but in my book, if im dating someone, I concentrate on them, maybe its old fashioned but I wouldnt think its very gentlemen like to be dating someone, whilst they are possibly becoming emotionally invested in me and be sleeping with someone else at the same time... I wouldnt think much of the girl who did that to me either.
If both parties are openly doing it to each other, thats fine, thats up to them to deal with it, but its all behind closed doors and one sided then I dont think thats cool at all.
Not saying to go hoing around or keep it secret....but if you didn't ask, she didn't tell. Just saying, in this day and age, never assume exclusivity. And (totally not saying this is how or what Amazona and I do) isn't telling one guy you're waiting to be exclusive to have sex and then sleeping with another on the side better than sleeping with them both? :laugh:0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I guess so!
Please remind me why im with you again
:flowerforyou: 0 -
I agree totally Kitsune. Its all good and well to go have fun, but in my book, if im dating someone, I concentrate on them, maybe its old fashioned but I wouldnt think its very gentlemen like to be dating someone, whilst they are possibly becoming emotionally invested in me and be sleeping with someone else at the same time... I wouldnt think much of the girl who did that to me either.
If both parties are openly doing it to each other, thats fine, thats up to them to deal with it, but its all behind closed doors and one sided then I dont think thats cool at all.
Not saying to go hoing around or keep it secret....but if you didn't ask, she didn't tell. Just saying, in this day and age, never assume exclusivity. And (totally not saying this is how or what Amazona and I do) isn't telling one guy you're waiting to be exclusive to have sex and then sleeping with another on the side better than sleeping with them both? :laugh:
No one is assuming exclusivity, Amazona was just originally saying that she was telling the guy no until they're exclusive - which is totally fine until you learn that there are other people who are getting the goods and aren't held to the same standards. Not saying anyone is a bad person, I just don't understand the logic.0 -
I agree totally Kitsune. Its all good and well to go have fun, but in my book, if im dating someone, I concentrate on them, maybe its old fashioned but I wouldnt think its very gentlemen like to be dating someone, whilst they are possibly becoming emotionally invested in me and be sleeping with someone else at the same time... I wouldnt think much of the girl who did that to me either.
If both parties are openly doing it to each other, thats fine, thats up to them to deal with it, but its all behind closed doors and one sided then I dont think thats cool at all.
Not saying to go hoing around or keep it secret....but if you didn't ask, she didn't tell. Just saying, in this day and age, never assume exclusivity. And (totally not saying this is how or what Amazona and I do) isn't telling one guy you're waiting to be exclusive to have sex and then sleeping with another on the side better than sleeping with them both? :laugh:
No one is assuming exclusivity, Amazona was just originally saying that she was telling the guy no until they're exclusive - which is totally fine until you learn that there are other people who are getting the goods and aren't held to the same standards. Not saying anyone is a bad person, I just don't understand the logic.
Yeah thats right, I really dont understand that either. It's your twirly time, do what you want with it, but keep in mind, if it ever comes up later in the relationship, assuming you make it that far, dont expect him to just lay down and take it. No pun intended :laugh:0 -
Ok I'm gonna put a "legal" spin on things. (However just as a disclaimer, I am NOT giving ACTUAL LEGAL ADVISE, I don't wanna get disbarred before I'm even licensed). In law, you can't be convicted of a crime that isn't on the books yet (that's called ex post facto). Meaning, if y'all didn't have the exclusive talk/understanding then you can't be mad when someone you're dating is sleeping with other people. When you assume you make an *kitten* out of "you" & "me."
If you recently start dating new people and you know that you're the type of person that wants things exclusive from the get-go, then open your mouth and say something. If your significant other doesn't want to commit as soon as you, then grow a pair and drop them. Don't settle for something that equates to something beyond a mutual compromise.
Communication is EVERYTHING in a good relationship. If you wanna know something ask. Otherwise if you remain "silent" its your own bad, because omissions aren't necessarily lies. However, keep in mind that you should treat others as you wanna be treated. Don't by a hypocrite.
Moral of the story - If you remain silent, no one can hear you. Communicate from the start.0 -
That's women's logic, which is as follow:No one is assuming exclusivity, Amazona was just originally saying that she was telling the guy no until they're exclusive - which is totally fine until you learn that there are other people who are getting the goods and aren't held to the same standards. Not saying anyone is a bad person, I just don't understand the logic.
- The guy A who sleeps with the girl is not a very important guy (the guy with who the girls can't imagine a LTR), so it doesn't matter to actually sleep with him. Throw-away type of guy.
- The guy B who doesn't sleep with the girl is a much more important guy (the guy with who the girls will imagine a LTR), so let's take our time with him. Investment type of guy.
Since I've approached women as guy A by being a complete idiot, I've dipped my biscuit a lot more.
Since men want to dip their biscuit primarily, they should approach women as guy A.
On a side note, this approach is (ironically) valid for LTRs since if you approach girls as guy A, dip your biscuit, make them realise you're actually guy B too and not just a complete moron ("I never thought of him that way...") *snap* they're into you!
Guy B is screwed, guy A screws.0 -
Ok I'm gonna put a "legal" spin on things. (However just as a disclaimer, I am NOT giving ACTUAL LEGAL ADVISE, I don't wanna get disbarred before I'm even licensed). In law, you can't be convicted of a crime that isn't on the books yet (that's called ex post facto). Meaning, if y'all didn't have the exclusive talk/understanding then you can't be mad when someone you're dating is sleeping with other people. When you assume you make an *kitten* out of "you" & "me."
If you recently start dating new people and you know that you're the type of person that wants things exclusive from the get-go, then open your mouth and say something. If your significant other doesn't want to commit as soon as you, then grow a pair and drop them. Don't settle for something that equates to something beyond a mutual compromise.
Communication is EVERYTHING in a good relationship. If you wanna know something ask. Otherwise if you remain "silent" its your own bad, because omissions aren't necessarily lies. However, keep in mind that you should treat others as you wanna be treated. Don't by a hypocrite.
Moral of the story - If you remain silent, no one can hear you. Communicate from the start.
The hell are you talking bout?0 -
That's women's logic, which is as follow:No one is assuming exclusivity, Amazona was just originally saying that she was telling the guy no until they're exclusive - which is totally fine until you learn that there are other people who are getting the goods and aren't held to the same standards. Not saying anyone is a bad person, I just don't understand the logic.
- The guy A who sleeps with the girl is not a very important guy (the guy with who the girls can't imagine a LTR), so it doesn't matter to actually sleep with him. Throw-away type of guy.
- The guy B who doesn't sleep with the girl is a much more important guy (the guy with who the girls will imagine a LTR), so let's take our time with him. Investment type of guy.
Since I've approached women as guy A by being a complete idiot, I've dipped my biscuit a lot more.
Since men want to dip their biscuit primarily, they should approach women as guy A.
On a side note, this approach is (ironically) valid for LTRs since if you approach girls as guy A, dip your biscuit, make them realise you're actually guy B too and not just a complete moron ("I never thought of him that way...") *snap* they're into you!
Guy B is screwed, guy A screws.
I would rather sleep with the guy I have an investment in. The purpose of having someone you aren't invested in only exists if there's no one worth being invested in, right? Is that backwards?0 -
I was responding to the the "exclusivity" dilemma0
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Investment is... investment. So you invest for the future, not for now - and take your time about it to make sure it is the right investment. But you still need a plumber to check your pipes right now.I would rather sleep with the guy I have an investment in. The purpose of having someone you aren't invested in only exists if there's no one worth being invested in, right? Is that backwards?
In one case you lose a potentially great guy (investment) so you're treading carefully, in the other case there is nothing to lose with the other guy so you're moving fast (who cares about what happens anyway!).0 -
"I was responding to the the "exclusivity" dilemma
Ms Robinson is that you lol?
Yeah I get what you are saying, Ms Jones said the same thing.
I think the point is and where this has stemmed from is that, she didnt want to give the goodies up to this other guy cause she 'likes hims' apparently, but then does so to some randoms at the same time. Do you think he would like that? I dont.
Totally agree with you, where you said that you should treat others how you wanna be treated. I guess some peoples morals are different to others.0 -
Investment is... investment. So you invest for the future, not for now - and take your time about it to make sure it is the right investment. But you still need a plumber to check your pipes right now.I would rather sleep with the guy I have an investment in. The purpose of having someone you aren't invested in only exists if there's no one worth being invested in, right? Is that backwards?
In one case you lose a potentially great guy (investment) so you're treading carefully, in the other case there is nothing to lose with the other guy so you're moving fast (who cares about what happens anyway!).
To bad if you pass on a nasty little deposit onto your investment but :laugh: :laugh:0
