Single and dating?
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pa_jorg
Posts: 4,404 Member
Any singles out there? What are the best and worst things about dating in your 30s?
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I wouldn't know cause I can't get anyone to date me! I feel like because I'm single in my 30s I missed the boat and I'm doomed for life. Doesn't help that I'm much overweight.0
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I wouldn't know cause I can't get anyone to date me! I feel like because I'm single in my 30s I missed the boat and I'm doomed for life. Doesn't help that I'm much overweight.
No, you are a beautiful woman and you did not miss the boat! It helps to think that you are bettering yourself now and have a stronger sense of self to be able to find a great match! :flowerforyou:0 -
I wouldn't know cause I can't get anyone to date me! I feel like because I'm single in my 30s I missed the boat and I'm doomed for life. Doesn't help that I'm much overweight.
No, you are a beautiful woman and you did not miss the boat! It helps to think that you are bettering yourself now and have a stronger sense of self to be able to find a great match! :flowerforyou:0 -
Thanks! I try to tell myself that, but sometimes it's hard. Oh well. Here's to making ourselves better! Then hopefully good things will happen!0
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I struggle with those thoughts as well! It's hard to put myself out there when I feel my weight is keeping guys from seeing who I really am. But, yes...here is to making ourselves better.0
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I struggle with those thoughts as well! It's hard to put myself out there when I feel my weight is keeping guys from seeing who I really am. But, yes...here is to making ourselves better.
I agree, but don't wait until you hit X weight... life won't wait and neither should you! :flowerforyou:0 -
I am recently single after a 5 year relationship. Well, recently as in almost a year. That's a hard thing to come back from, though. I was 24 when we got together, and it was a different world then in dating! The thing I like best: I feel like I know who I am and what I want now. I didn't in my 20s. I am a "grown up" now, and I love it! The downside that I have experienced is that by your 30s, your lifestyle is becoming more ingrained. Less flexibility, less room for compromise. That can make it hard for people who are otherwise compatible to get together. Private couple stuff is significantly better, though, in my experience. Men in their 30s have figured a few things out!
I wouldn't go out with a guy who put himself down all the time or constantly had a negative attitude. So I am finally starting to understand how the same is true for me. I think that is a part of growing up, too- the willingness to see yourself as others might see you.0 -
I wouldn't know cause I can't get anyone to date me! I feel like because I'm single in my 30s I missed the boat and I'm doomed for life. Doesn't help that I'm much overweight.
I'm in this boat with you!!!0 -
Awww, there is hope! I was 250 lbs and doing online dating and I met some really great guys, two I ended up getting serious with, and one I just married in June. It can be scary getting out there, and you will meet some jerks along the way, but if you are honest and you know what you are looking for, you can find it. Take your time, have some fun, date someone you'd never go for ~ who knows, it could work. You don't have to settle for anything less than everything.
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Awww, there is hope! I was 250 lbs and doing online dating and I met some really great guys, two I ended up getting serious with, and one I just married in June. It can be scary getting out there, and you will meet some jerks along the way, but if you are honest and you know what you are looking for, you can find it. Take your time, have some fun, date someone you'd never go for ~ who knows, it could work. You don't have to settle for anything less than everything.
Been there, done all of this. Still single as a slice of cheese. I really just think it's luck. Which sucks. haha0 -
I really just think it's luck. Which sucks. haha
I hear ya. If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all!! :sad:0 -
I am recently single after a 14 month relationship and while that doesn't seem like a very long time I seriously thought that he was the one and that I wouldn't ever be re-entering the dating scene. I am not enthused with re-entering the dating scene at almost 31 years old. Ugh! I honeslty am just going to take some time to myself and work on me. Mr. Right will have to practically fall in my lap to catch my attention at this point.0
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Recently single here too, well, a few months ago anyway. Was the end of a 12 year marriage but in truth, it probably should have ended well before then got married very young). I have been out of the dating scene so long, I am not even sure I know how to do it! I am enjoying this time though and using it to make myself a priority again, something that hadn't happened in over a decade. I want my 30's to be the best decade yet and while I am not necessarily searching for someone, it would be nice to have a companion who I am compatible with and who fits in and supports my newly discovered healthy lifestyle. I think, in many ways, I secretly fear getting into another relationship because I am not certain I know how to give enough to that person while maintaining time for myself...0
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Goodness... I've been single now for.... hmmm... 6+ years now, at least. And before that, it was just a series of *almost* dating, in each case with me or them backing out after just a few dates. The ones I wanted to date didn't commit, the ones who wanted to date me I didn't feel were the right match. Back then, I felt like I was *supposed* to be looking for my better half, but then I moved to another state and learned what it was like to be on my own, away from the comfort of a known social circle & had to figure out what really made *me* happy. It was scary as all hell, but I'm so glad I did it because looking back, I don't think I was becoming a person who would have really been happy down the line. Now, my priorities are so much different, and I'm actually pretty comfortable being *on my own*, without constantly seeking approval from others or hoping to impress or *reel one in*.
That's not to say I don't miss certain aspects of having a partner, but I also remember very well the insecurities that went along with it. Letting someone in to that level is very, very scary, and I find that so often we feel the need to be *on*... always looking our best, holding parts of ourselves back, and I truly didn't enjoy that part of it all. Ideally, I figure if there is someone I am supposed to be with, they will indeed fall into my lap, preferably in the form of a friendship that continues to grow until the comfort level is just there.
But don't get me wrong, I still enjoy scoping them out & the wishful thinking of the ones with some massive sex appeal (of which my preferences have also changed so greatly from my younger years - I have found age, experience & what people learn from hard regrets to be most appealing), but I now also realize that just because they look good & might be a real turn on, doesn't mean that they will turn me on in the long run. Eye candy is usually best suited for eye candy, and the best matches usually seem to be the ones that you just didn't see coming.1 -
Hello i just hit thirty and haven't been on a date since i was 22. Im ready to see what its like.0
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Well i wouldn't know what dating was if it bit me. I was in a relationship for 15 total years then got divorced. I've been working on my self ever since. Along with doing what ever the kids need.0
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The hardest thing is finding someone that doesn't hold it against me that I'm divorced and already have two children. The last couple of women that I was with for a long time (1.5 years and 1 year) eventually decided it wasn't part of their fairy tale vision. They liked my other qualities enough to try really hard for a long time but ultimately it was something they couldn't get past.
The second hardest thing is just meeting women. I work two jobs and have two sons. I don't have a lot of time to 'go out' to meet women. Even if I did I don't want to meet someone at a bar or club. I'm not really even sure where to go to meet women at my age. Meeting women at work is out as well, since I'm in a position of authority. HR wouldn't be too keen on me trying to pick up ladies there.
Only after those factors would I say being overweight comes in to play. I've met, dated, and had relationships with very attractive women even while being overweight. I'm not rich or even well off, either. It really does just have a lot to do with confidence.0 -
Single....very very single. I've only been in one relationship; it lasted almost 6 years (the final two years engaged) when he decided I really wasn't what he wanted and promptly ended it (then started dating someone else while we were still living together..how's that for 'screwed up'?). That was in December of '08 - fast forward to Jan '13 - I've come to realize that he REALLY wasn't what I wanted either (took a long time to figure this out, even though EVERYONE ELSE KNEW IT...learn the hard way I guess). As hard as it was to go through, I'm glad it happened because I learned more about myself and how strong I really can be (though it's so hard to 'feel' strong).
What I do regret (really really regret) is that the relationship is my only experience with the opposite sex (poor benchmark). I never 'dated' (wouldn't know how to even start!) in my teens and twenties, and now that I'm in my early thirties...I'm even more clueless! Where in the world to people in their thirties go to find someone?
I tried the online dating thing (and not just the 'free' stuff, I invested money and time into some as well)..that sucked. Got lots of matches, but they'd never answer back (which does wonders for the confidence let me tell you - I regret uploading pictures). I also don't think it's a good idea to 'find' someone at work (it's how I met my 'ex), and I'm not a bar hopper or a concert goer. I'm a homebody that is close to her family. So if I'm not a work, I'm at home with the folks. I would love to get out more...just not sure where to start.
I'd love to hear some ideas on best places for adults to meet (that doesn't involve ear-splitting music or a ton of alcohol - also not much of a drinker, which some would say puts me in the 'boring' category LOL).0 -
When I was in my 20's I had no problem finding and dating guys, then a few years ago my boyfriend and I broke up, I gained weight, and there went my dating life. I think partially I've shut myself off and made excuses not to put myself out there. On the other hand, I'm wanting to venture out, but no one seems interested online, and I have no clue where else to find a guy...so I'm kind of at a stand still right now. Hopefully, all of that will change in 2013!0
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Where in the world to people in their thirties go to find someone?
I wonder the same! 0
