I can't stand it.

mamaward64

I really over did it this morning. First I got yelled at by the hubby which always has me run to food. Then my oldest son told me I couldn't have my 3 grandkids to get studio pics done. I was broken. I have eaten everything above and beyond. I get like this daily and need to know how and when to stop.

don666car

first of all a big mfp ((((HUG))) for you thats a very tuff day i can sence your pain i wont try and be a guy and "fix it" for you all i can say is try and change the pattern of going to food for relief of your pain i dont know if you get "mad" but dammit you deserve to give it back sometimes it may shock them enough to notice what there doing to your heart hugsss my friend hugssss

mamaward64

Thanks Don Huggs to you. I find it hard to get back at them. It does make me feel good when I let it out but I only have MFP and don't want to always be the burden.

lorrainzander

I think it is a great start, for you just to be here and saying how you feel and being honest. Just wanted to say that I have been there before. I went into a deep depression this past year and and gained back 60 of the 80 lbs that I had lost. It was so hard to start over again, but I am here and so are you. It has been almost four weeks since my last binge and I think it has to do with MFP and reading "Brain Over Binge," which has helped a lot. I'm not saying that I won't ever have bad days, but I feel like I am on my way. If you want some encouragement please feel free to add me. I am on MFP everyday because I am really using it right now to get back on my feet so to speak.

mamaward64

Pretty much everyday is a binge. More like I am a compulsive eater and will eat anything that is of offering for free. I don't know where that stems from but somewhere. If I could afford therapy I'd go but I have this place which is FREE. :brokenheart:

lorrainzander

I really do understand, I basically went on a 9 month, eat everything and anything I wanted and really did not want to live anymore. Most of this behavior was hid from my family, so I was extremely ashamed about my weight gain and my secretive behavior. And I have been on a constant overeat and then diet cycle for almost twenty years.I don't know if you want to hear what I found helpful for myself, but I started eating as whole food and clean food as possible and eating at least 400 calories for breakfast and 400 calories for lunch. Before when I would try and lose weight, I would always think that I could handle having a light breakfast and lunch, for maximum weight loss and I might be able to sustain it for a few days or weeks, but it never lasted and I would just quit and eat, eat , eat. You can find that inner strength. Have you ever tried Overeaters Anonymous? You can even go to online group sessions, if they don't have a group in your town and join an email group that can offer lots of encouragement as well and you can even find a sponsor on line too. I wish you well.

sweetalker

Pretty much everyday is a binge. More like I am a compulsive eater and will eat anything that is of offering for free.

Oh lawd, I feels ya there. Part of my profession is attending parties where AWESOME food is passed around for free, it's so easy to just grab something off a plate and stuff it in my mouth before anyone sees, today's lunch was several bite-size pieces of lovely chocolate cheesecake, and Chex Mix which was the healthiest thing I could find in the whole shebang. I had to physically tear myself away from the deep-fried coconut shrimp with champagne pineapple salsa. That's not a euphemism - I was dodging the serving tray for hours.

Here's how I stop myself from eating the "free" goodies:

1. I don't count it as "free". I have 1700 calories I can "spend" in a day. Roughly 500 calories per meal and 200 to snack on. So that donut? It's not 99 cents, it's 650 calories. More than what I'd spend on a whole meal. Nope.

2. Plan out what you're going to eat ahead of time. If you're at a party, take a peek at what food is being offered, then casually get out your phone and add up what you'd like to eat on MFP. Juggle the numbers around until it's something you can live with. If it's a meal, shoot for 500 calories. (If it's something new to you, but looks delicious, give it a try, but take no more than ONE bite if it's not something absolutely awesome-tasting. Think of it like taking back a lovely-looking pair of shoes that didn't quite fit you.)

3. Don't deny yourself if you're truly hungry. Give yourself 5 minutes away from food (the bathroom is a great sanctuary) and see if your cravings come from hunger or from desire. Then drink a glass of water - it'll fill up your stomach. If you're still licking your lips for that eclair after that, cut yourself half (or even a fourth!) of a serving. Don't even allow the rest on your plate - and make sure you DO use a plate, and a spoon, and take small bites - don't just pop it into your mouth or you probably won't even taste it! Enjoy it - know that you earned it - but be sure to log it in MFP, even if it's just a bite.

4. Work out! You get to stretch those calorie "dollars", adding a couple hundred to your limit, just by walking a bit whenever you get a chance! This works better if you squeeze in a few extra steps (stairs, not elevator, etc) BEFORE you know you're going to a place with free food.

5. Better yet, eat something healthy (a piece of fruit, some granola, etc.) about 30 minutes before you go to a place with free food. No less time than that or you're just revving up your taste buds. No more time than that or you'll just become hungry again.

6. Don't feel guilt about anything you eat. I eat whatever I like, I'm still losing weight, I just make sacrifices - if I'm going to eat something devilishly calorie- and fat-laden, I accept the consequences (usually stomachache and headache) and I always make up for it. Every day is a new day and a fresh start. "What happened yesterday can't be changed, but I can do great today." Need more motivation? Find a picture of whatever it is you're losing weight for (longer life? A picture of your grandkids. Hot body? Picture of a swimsuit or dress) and put it on your phone so that you'll see it several times a day.

EDIT: Reading back over your original post, it sounds like you're taking refuge in food (classic emotional eater). Do me a favor? The next time that you have something stressful happen (NOT after the end of the day, but right after the stressful event) come straight to MFP and talk about it. Create an MFP blog and blog about it. We're here to help. Talk about what you're thinking about eating. Talk about how you feel. Talk about what needs to happen to make this stressful situation better. There's no judgement here.

mamaward64

Ladies thank you both. YOu have awesome advice. I will put those into practice.
OA is a great place my aunt lost all her weight thru the program and is still in attendance today. I would probably look into online meetings as a time of the group is not convenient for me.
Sweet you have some great tips. I will try to keep my meals at about 400 cals. I try to make breakfast my biggest meal of the day so I can eat less by the time I get to bed.
I will see you both on the news feed.
Be blessed.