Going on dates while dating another....
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Hmm..I am more interested in the guy I am dating, but the other guy asked me out and was very nice. Therefore, I'm wondering if I should go out with him. However, I kind of feel like I am doing it out to prevent myself from becoming too invested in one option. I sort of feel I should continue to see what's out there because I may be surprised that the "the one" is not the one I am hoping for at the moment. In a year he may not want what I want, so I don't want him to monopolize my life if that's the case. The guy I'm dating also told me he wanted to take things slow and see where things go....If it goes nowhere, I need options IMO
I keep coming back to this post and thinking you are considering going out with this second guy for the most insignificant reasons - 1. because he asked you out, 2. because he was very nice and 3. because you might find out in a year from now that the guy you're currently dating isn't "the one". At least, that's how this reads to me, which is so odd if you are more interested in the guy you are dating - unless you don't think that he is also a nice person. Isn't he?
Why risk it if you are unsure? Relationships are about communication and if you want to go from just dating to a relationship, you need to talk. Ask him how he thinks things are going! The thing is, it's impossible for us to guess, because we don't know much about this situation. I've never had to have "the talk" at the start of my relationships because I know the person I'm dating is only dating me and he is only interested in dating me (and I'm really referring to around the time you are at - after a month of dating). I can tell because he is talking to me everyday and making all of his plans with me, and we would have gotten physically closer.
Consider how things have advanced over the month of you dating - are you seeing each other more often? Talking more frequently? Becoming more physical? Or have things not moved? If things are moving along nicely and you like this first guy, I don't understand why you don't want to become invested in this becoming a relationship, but you are willing to risk jeopardizing it.
We are spending more time together, however, he is very busy because of his job requirements being a doctor. He told me that I couldn't be his first priority right now, but he will make time for me more often. Physically we are closer; no sex yet because I want to be sure he actually is someone who is worth my time. The guy is very different indeed from the men I've experienced in the past. He hasn't had a lot of relationships due to his career choice, and I get the feeling he will want to drag the "dating" process out for a long time to avoid a commitment. He actually told me I should date more men; however, he then gets annoyed if he thinks I am actually going out with someone else. I told him I maybe in over my head with him thinking it may work.
The guy has made it pretty clear where y'all stand. How long have you dated him anyway? Who brought up the talk about dating other men?
Definitely do not waste time by focusing only on him. If he's treating you like an option, then treat him as one too.0 -
Well, to me, I can totally understand not being a person's top priority when I have just met him, particularly if he has a job with lots of time commitments (or maybe someone with kids). That's understandable.We are spending more time together, however, he is very busy because of his job requirements being a doctor. He told me that I couldn't be his first priority right now, but he will make time for me more often. Physically we are closer; no sex yet because I want to be sure he actually is someone who is worth my time. The guy is very different indeed from the men I've experienced in the past. He hasn't had a lot of relationships due to his career choice, and I get the feeling he will want to drag the "dating" process out for a long time to avoid a commitment. He actually told me I should date more men; however, he then gets annoyed if he thinks I am actually going out with someone else. I told him I maybe in over my head with him thinking it may work.
What isn't understandable to me is if someone is saying for me to date other men. That says that he's not interested enough for me to be his one and only woman, and I would expect someone to have an inkling about that after a month.
He's trying to keep his options open, and has basically said for you to do so too, so I would go with that. While he doesn't really want you to see other men, that could simply be out of ego and a jealous nature rather than him really worrying about losing you to another guy since a guy who is truly worried about that would never in a million years suggest that you date other men too (if I know men as well as I think I do).
Clearly, guy #1 is busy and doesn't have a lot of time for you, so it seems to me that you should be able to go on a date with guy #2 without major timing conflicts. I don't see a need to rub it in his face that you are dating someone else.0
