The EX GF Texted --- What to do?
BigBrewski
Posts: 922 Member
So i got a text today that said, "Can we have a friendly talk at some point?"
Backstory: I dated Theresa last year from Nov - Feb. I met her on OKCupid and let me tell you she grilled me on all my questions in person multiple times. It was a little annoying but the only thing that was frustrating in that sense was I am on a budget due to my divorce and when I explained to her that I had a limited dating budget she responded with, "but I thought you made xxx" becusae that is listed on OKCupid. Well I do make that but I have bills, debts, ect ect. Things were moving much faster for her than for me but I could see there were some big personality differences. When I first pointed out some of the things she just said we needed more communciation and so we communicated better and eventually made the relationship physical and started dating. So after a few months she was basically living in my apartment on the weekends and dropped the L word. That didn't scare me but I wasn't there and I was pretty sure I couldn't get there because some of the personality differences. She is a little high maintenance (she admitted that) and my ex wife was similar and I am just over that as that is not what I am looking for in a partner.
When I realized that the relationship wasn't going to progress I decided we should end it. Right about that time she camve over to my apartment and I was feeling a little sick. She wanted to have some adult fun and I said how about later and she said to me if we weren't going to have fun she could have stayed home. I was like wait we cannot just hang out and be friends and she said, "I have all the friends I need" she said it as a joke but I took it a step further and said, "so wait if we broke up we wouldn't be friends anymore?" Well when we broke up it took 2 weeks for her to get her stuff out of my apt and it was done without speaking words to me. This is why I am suprised I got the text today...
I am not sure why I am writing this post maybe just to have a discussion with myself. I did respond to the text with "sure" and she asked me to call when I had some time. I'll give her a call tonight after the I go to the gym.
However, I wanted to ping the group here and say, "WTF? Is this a trap? Should I be looking out for something? Is it possible she just wants to be friends now? I am clearly not going to date her again."
Backstory: I dated Theresa last year from Nov - Feb. I met her on OKCupid and let me tell you she grilled me on all my questions in person multiple times. It was a little annoying but the only thing that was frustrating in that sense was I am on a budget due to my divorce and when I explained to her that I had a limited dating budget she responded with, "but I thought you made xxx" becusae that is listed on OKCupid. Well I do make that but I have bills, debts, ect ect. Things were moving much faster for her than for me but I could see there were some big personality differences. When I first pointed out some of the things she just said we needed more communciation and so we communicated better and eventually made the relationship physical and started dating. So after a few months she was basically living in my apartment on the weekends and dropped the L word. That didn't scare me but I wasn't there and I was pretty sure I couldn't get there because some of the personality differences. She is a little high maintenance (she admitted that) and my ex wife was similar and I am just over that as that is not what I am looking for in a partner.
When I realized that the relationship wasn't going to progress I decided we should end it. Right about that time she camve over to my apartment and I was feeling a little sick. She wanted to have some adult fun and I said how about later and she said to me if we weren't going to have fun she could have stayed home. I was like wait we cannot just hang out and be friends and she said, "I have all the friends I need" she said it as a joke but I took it a step further and said, "so wait if we broke up we wouldn't be friends anymore?" Well when we broke up it took 2 weeks for her to get her stuff out of my apt and it was done without speaking words to me. This is why I am suprised I got the text today...
I am not sure why I am writing this post maybe just to have a discussion with myself. I did respond to the text with "sure" and she asked me to call when I had some time. I'll give her a call tonight after the I go to the gym.
However, I wanted to ping the group here and say, "WTF? Is this a trap? Should I be looking out for something? Is it possible she just wants to be friends now? I am clearly not going to date her again."
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Replies
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Just an FYI #TextYourExday is trending on twitter so it might come from this or it might be something totally else.0
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I would ignore ignore ignore.
Since you have already said "sure", honestly ask yourself - do you REALLY want a friend like that? Yes? Sure, call her. No? Tell her you've changed your mind and that she shouldn't expect a call. Then ignore/delete her messages if she rages.0 -
Exes are exes for a reason. Stay away!0
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to be honest not a door I would want to walk through....0
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She told you she has all the friends she needs, so move along... Nothing but trouble ahead.0
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Danger, Will Robinson. Danger!0
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Damn it... Indeed, you missed your chance of a good joke!
Response:
"And I thought you had all the friends you needed... But deep down I knew you would come crawling back to me, that's the effect I have on girls * wink wink wink *"
Gross texting... As we like it.0 -
Stay away. Period.0
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It sounds like it's been about 9 months since you broke up with her. You may be in for a bigger surprise than you expect.0
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It sounds like it's been about 9 months since you broke up with her. You may be in for a bigger surprise than you expect.
Now that is not funny0 -
It sounds like it's been about 9 months since you broke up with her. You may be in for a bigger surprise than you expect.
Now that is not funny
EEEEK! Run away! :laugh:
But yeah I wouldn't talk to her. Just say, look, it was nice knowing you, but.. there's really nothing for us to talk about.0 -
She's sounds a little border-line psycho... do you really WANT to talk to her?? lol Or are you just a nice guy that's trying to do the *nice* thing??0
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She's sounds a little border-line psycho... do you really WANT to talk to her?? lol Or are you just a nice guy that's trying to do the *nice* thing??
It is the nice thing, nice guy wants to do the nice thing0 -
Stay away....I know you want to be nice, but it sounds like she's realized she let a good thing go. She wants back and is trying to sneak in nicely. I've had exes try this. Nip it at the bud. It will be nothing but misery for you.0
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BLD!! (*****es love drama!) You should have just deleted that text and blocked her #. This sounds like nothing but trouble and drama.0
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I agree re: the drama quotient here....
However, being that a previous poster brought up the point of "9 mos" post.... if I was a guy I'd go nuts wondering if that was the card she was pulling.
I believe like another poster said, "ex's are ex's for a reason"..... but in this case, because of the above, I would perhaps just TEXT her back and ask what's up. She is either going to apologize, start drama, or tell you you have a kid.0 -
It sounds like it's been about 9 months since you broke up with her. You may be in for a bigger surprise than you expect.
Did not even think of this! Don't most girls text when they find out they're pregnant? Not wait until the kid is born? :noway:0 -
It sounds like it's been about 9 months since you broke up with her. You may be in for a bigger surprise than you expect.
Did not even think of this! Don't most girls text when they find out they're pregnant? Not wait until the kid is born? :noway:
TEXT??? LOL
(Sorry Tag, not a dig on you... but you literally had me laugh out loud...)
How about calling and meeting face-to-face? Ohhhhhhhh maybe I'm ol' fashioned and what not..... LOL0 -
PS - it could explain why it took her so long to get her stuff out of your place.......0
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It sounds like it's been about 9 months since you broke up with her. You may be in for a bigger surprise than you expect.
Did not even think of this! Don't most girls text when they find out they're pregnant? Not wait until the kid is born? :noway:
TEXT??? LOL
(Sorry Tag, not a dig on you... but you literally had me laugh out loud...)
How about calling and meeting face-to-face? Ohhhhhhhh maybe I'm ol' fashioned and what not..... LOL
:laugh: Okay, I deserve that. I said that because she texted today. Yes, ideally the woman comes over and in-person discusses the fact that she is now pregnant. Not texting 9 months later...0 -
Exes are exes for a reason. Stay away!
Yes, this. Run fast.0 -
Don't do it!!!
Her personality hasn't changed and I'm guessing there is no Brewski Jr to worry about!0 -
Msg 110: The number you are trying to contact is no longer in service
Works every time.0 -
Hit it then quit it. Again.0
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It sounds like it's been about 9 months since you broke up with her. You may be in for a bigger surprise than you expect.
Dude. I have a quirky sense of humor, but still... Totally uncalled for.
--P0 -
And to the OP, before my divorce, I didn't mind "high maintenance" women. They seemed a bit more exotic, perhaps more passionate (theoretically). I felt the relationship would be wild, unpredictable, memorable! No June Cleaver for me!
Now, of course, I know better. There is no way in hell I'd ever get serious* again with a high maintenance woman. I have enough drama in my life with an interesting job and two kids.
I want low maintenance. I'm thinking good references, solid, lifetime warranty, money back guarantee.
--P
* I don't even want a fling with a high maintenance woman. Just a disaster waiting to happen...0 -
I'm pretty sure she just wants closure and she's curious to see what she really lost. Her and her girlfriends probably got into a "cat session" and was wondering what you were up to and she's just curious...
If I were you I would have deleted the text, blocked her # and ran for the border...0 -
What's the big deal? Not really sure why you should worry about a conversation, orrrrr some adult fun!!
You seem to be in control, so go meet her and see what she wants? She may want a loan!!!
:flowerforyou:0 -
Either have some no strings fun which is probably what she wants or just do what I do and text back with "who is this?" then they know they've been forgotten/deleted0
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So..... what did you do? Did you call her after the gym? What did she really want?0
