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  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    I hate to be cynical, but most of my friends that were married by 25 were divorced by 35!

    You can catch him the second time around!! :laugh:

    :wink:
    I’m going to take a different spin on this quote. When you’re unmarried, and much of your social circle is married, does it ever make any of you feel unwanted, undesirable? Do you ever taken the cynical, but often rational and reasonable approach of saying to yourself that a number of these marrieds will be divorcees at some point? Even if you take this approach, I can imagine it can be difficult in the present. Marriages tend to usually take a significant amount to shake out (5+ years). It isn’t common to see a lot of divorcees under 35 in my experience, though I haven’t seen the stats on that but I bet they’d reflect that first divorces are more commonplace after a 5+ year marriage and after age 35.

    Statistically speaking, 1 in 2 marriages in America end in divorce (higher in the UK). The average time for a married couple to stay together is 11 years. (My longest relationship was 12 years and I kind feel that statistic is about right as most of my friends have split up somewhere between 7 and 14 years)

    Like I said, with 50% certainty, this 24 year old guy will be divorced by the time he's 35.

    I dont feel unwanted or undesirable ever!! There is always some guy that will give me the pleasure of his affection!! :laugh: But yeah, sometimes I feel lonely and crave someone to share life with on a daily basis. I dont think any of us are meant to be alone; we're social animals. And I'm never cynical with friends or relationships; I always think they're going to last!!! (Well, there have been a couple that I've said early on that they will never last, tbh). But on the whole, I'm a positive thinker. I still think I will be with the love of my life and live happily ever after :bigsmile: (I just dont feel the need to marry him!!)

    What I dont crave is the awful relationships I see around me. The affairs, the disrespect, the arguments, the power struggles, the mediocrity, the attitude that being with 'someone' is better than no-one............urgh!

    When my friends were getting married in their 20s I was happily ensconced in a long term relationship. I just never wanted to get married or have children. Now, I see people around my age starting over again with new partners, and I'm really happy that there is hope for second timers :bigsmile:

    However, without trying to be cynical again, I just read somewhere that the chances that their second marraige will end is 90%!!!! :huh:

    Anyway, I think we should all just get down and get dirty!!! :laugh: :bigsmile: :smooched: :love:

    (apart from you Christine, you should be sprightly and positive and yearning for a long, successful marriage and children :flowerforyou: )
  • farmers_daughter
    farmers_daughter Posts: 1,632 Member
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    Let me put a different spin on this.....

    When I was 19 I was married - all my friends were single

    I'm now 30 and single - all of my friends are married/engaged etc.

    If I had it to do over, I'd pick single at a younger age. More time to work on me and figure me out. :ohwell: hindsights 20/20 I suppose. :)
  • zachatta
    zachatta Posts: 1,340 Member
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    just creeping on facebook. My middle school crush just got married.

    :(

    I'm getting older, it's going to get worse. Everyone will be married soon!

    I am sorry to hear that but, the good news is marrying young doesn't necessarily guarantee a successful marriage.

    I am recently divorced, although my marriage wasn't very long.

    Don't stress about it, just keep living your life. There are many single people in their 30s, 40s and beyond.

    As far as high school crushes, they are generally pointless anyways.

    My high school crush I haven't talked to since high school, it wasn't meant to be, it was just kiddy puppy love.

    Also, stop worrying about arbitrary timelines. :)
  • sunnymel126
    sunnymel126 Posts: 359 Member
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    just creeping on facebook. My middle school crush just got married.

    :(

    I'm getting older, it's going to get worse. Everyone will be married soon!

    Also, stop worrying about arbitrary timelines. :)

    I have to remind myself of this also. 33 never married... ugh. Forever alone... lol
  • bradphil87
    bradphil87 Posts: 617 Member
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    I don't understand peoples attraction to marriage....9/10 of the people I know that are my age and married hate their life....it's pretty sad actually.
  • oualum26
    oualum26 Posts: 128 Member
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    I don't understand peoples attraction to marriage....9/10 of the people I know that are my age and married hate their life....it's pretty sad actually.

    I think its the people. Many of my friends are married and I'd say 9 out of 10 are extremely happy in their marriages and with their lives. It can happen.
  • bradphil87
    bradphil87 Posts: 617 Member
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    I don't understand peoples attraction to marriage....9/10 of the people I know that are my age and married hate their life....it's pretty sad actually.

    I think its the people. Many of my friends are married and I'd say 9 out of 10 are extremely happy in their marriages and with their lives. It can happen.
    Or it could be that my friends are the guys tht are married and yours are the ladies? Lol
  • oualum26
    oualum26 Posts: 128 Member
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    I don't understand peoples attraction to marriage....9/10 of the people I know that are my age and married hate their life....it's pretty sad actually.

    I think its the people. Many of my friends are married and I'd say 9 out of 10 are extremely happy in their marriages and with their lives. It can happen.
    Or it could be that my friends are the guys tht are married and yours are the ladies? Lol

    0-2 two my MFP friend. I actually have more guy friends then girl friends. Every one of my guy friends loves his married life and wouldn't trade it for anything. I have a 70-30 guy-to-girl friend ratio, so believe me, it's not the giddy girls saying this, its the guys.
  • farmers_daughter
    farmers_daughter Posts: 1,632 Member
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    I don't understand peoples attraction to marriage....9/10 of the people I know that are my age and married hate their life....it's pretty sad actually.

    Ladies don't hate me for this, but I have known a lady or two who get married for the thrill of "the wedding" and then the rest falls apart.
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    I don't understand peoples attraction to marriage....9/10 of the people I know that are my age and married hate their life....it's pretty sad actually.

    Ladies don't hate me for this, but I have known a lady or two who get married for the thrill of "the wedding" and then the rest falls apart.
    I was in one of these weddings. 3 good female friends, always joked about who would get married 1st. One did in her early 20's and she constantly bragged about "being the 1st" to get married. So about a week before the wedding, I went over to the bride and grooms home with a friend to deliver some stuff related to the wedding. I knocked and the bride answered half-dressed. Another guy was there, he was beet red, very sweaty and completely out of breath. My friend and I exchanged looks. We both knew.

    So in the wedding, my 2nd time ever wearing a tux, I hated it. Not just the tux but because it felt fake. They didn't last. Oh and I found out later that they both were cheating on each other. During the engagement, and well after they got married. I haven't kept tabs on the groom but nearly 11 years later, the bride is still with the guy she was cheating with, and last I heard, she has a baby on the way.

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