I've been guilty....
Replies
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Can I start my "man lessons" today? My reactionary post was cranky, over-emotional and over-sensitive. :sad:
This gives me an idea for a seperate thread.:bigsmile:
Not anything to do with you personally though.:flowerforyou:0 -
i didn't read the article, because everyone was saying it was giving them a headache. and i don't need a headache. i for one do not want a guy that is like a girl. if he doesn't have confidence and reek of "man" i won't be interested. so, more than likely i won't ever find out what he's like physically.
i don't want to interact with a man like i do my girlfriends. they are the ones i call or pop in on when i need to talk. when i need saving, like from a mouse in my house, then i'll approach a man. because he can fix it. if i need to talk through financial stuff, i'll go to a guy because he'll help me game plan.
if a guy calls me up to vent about his ex, i won't have too much interest after a while. i mean, i would love to remain his friend, but it will never be romantic or sexual. so, i don't think i'd ever know what they were like in bed. not to mention i have no problem saying what i want and how i want it when i'm with someone.0 -
Actually the article agrees with you, people...
Greene and Mundy, like many complementarians before them, set up a false dichotomy: women must choose between hot, confident, and arrogant jerks on the one hand, or sweet, kind, and emotionally available nice guys with very limited sex appeal on the other. It's a massive over-ask to expect the average men to be able to confine devotion and swagger, or ambition and intuition. Put another way, women can't (or shouldn't) expect both passion and perceptiveness from a man.
The dichotomy is said to be false.
Then he goes on to say that men and women have similar (emotional) capabilities:
It's hard to accept the much more promising (but less often repeated) notion that physical differences notwithstanding, most men have the same capacity for emotional availability and verbal dexterity as women have. Socially constructed lack of practice shouldn't be mistaken for biological lack of ability –- even if the latter is a much more congenial excuse. Put simply, the problem isn't that women want too much. It's that we expect too little from men.
He then concludes that everyone should get a sister:
men and women who grew up with at least one female sibling were demonstrably happier and better-adjusted than those who grew up as single children or with brothers alone
But yeah, as Poncho said before, the entire article is based on the premises that there is a "man crisis".
If I disagree with these premises, now what?
To add: yes the article is unreadable, the guy goes on tangents constantly.0 -
OKAY.. SORRY!!
I'll request thread deleted.
Was conversational topic only.. a little banter or debate at best.
Think I need to check out of this group for a while or stay completely silent at any rate!
SBBBBBBBBBBB...............chill out babe!!! You know we LOVE YOU!!!!
Stop being so freakin:
[..]emotional, sensitive, jealous, take criticism terribly, have been known to hold petty grudges once in a while and generally lack financial intelligence, the ability to care about working hard and ambition.
:laugh: :laugh:0 -
Whaaaat?? Is there seriously a line of thought out there that guys who are articulate, caring and emotionally available are boring in bed??? Is there seriously a line of thought out there that only *kitten* are good in bed???
God that disappoints me!!!
You are NOT in any way, shape or form expecting 'too much' if you want both from a man. Hell... we expect both from women.
^^ this!!!
I beg to differ on the whole concept of this article.
I think emotional guys are GREAT in bed!! :smokin:
And *kitten* are selfish in bed!!!
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ok, he uses "emotionally available" that is the KEY! loads of the "bad boys" are NOT emotionally available so, at the end of the day, none of it is real...........
i agree, everyone needs a sister......0 -
Actually the article agrees with you, people...
Greene and Mundy, like many complementarians before them, set up a false dichotomy: women must choose between hot, confident, and arrogant jerks on the one hand, or sweet, kind, and emotionally available nice guys with very limited sex appeal on the other. It's a massive over-ask to expect the average men to be able to confine devotion and swagger, or ambition and intuition. Put another way, women can't (or shouldn't) expect both passion and perceptiveness from a man.
The dichotomy is said to be false.
Then he goes on to say that men and women have similar (emotional) capabilities:
It's hard to accept the much more promising (but less often repeated) notion that physical differences notwithstanding, most men have the same capacity for emotional availability and verbal dexterity as women have. Socially constructed lack of practice shouldn't be mistaken for biological lack of ability –- even if the latter is a much more congenial excuse. Put simply, the problem isn't that women want too much. It's that we expect too little from men.
He then concludes that everyone should get a sister:
men and women who grew up with at least one female sibling were demonstrably happier and better-adjusted than those who grew up as single children or with brothers alone
But yeah, as Poncho said before, the entire article is based on the premises that there is a "man crisis".
If I disagree with these premises, now what?
To add: yes the article is unreadable, the guy goes on tangents constantly.
This might be a rare instance where taking something out of context makes it more decipherable. ..0 -
Whaaaat?? Is there seriously a line of thought out there that guys who are articulate, caring and emotionally available are boring in bed??? Is there seriously a line of thought out there that only *kitten* are good in bed???
God that disappoints me!!!
You are NOT in any way, shape or form expecting 'too much' if you want both from a man. Hell... we expect both from women.
^^ this!!!
I beg to differ on the whole concept of this article.
I think emotional guys are GREAT in bed!! :smokin:
And *kitten* are selfish in bed!!!
There is sooooooo much truth in that statement and it is simply a guy that gets pleasure giving it.0 -
Darn... I was hoping that the article's author was right - that if I became more of an a**hole, I'd get even better in bed. Oh well, so much for that theory.0
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I know that I say all the time .. isn't there something in the middle between a complete jerk and then the guy who cries more than me. I know I sure as hell can't find him. What I do know is that the sensitive guy is definitely better in bed .. from my experience anyway. But, you have to be able to get to that point with him.
Since we are chatting about men and sex .. lol. How many women out there have an orgasm the first time you sleep with a guy? I can honestly say that I have never ever never had one the first time I have had sex with any guy. Not my husband, not my last boyfriend, nobody. Probably not even the second time. They think I do .. but I don't. Maybe it is a comfort level thing .. I mean I really really want to .. but I don't. Honest engine time ladies.0 -
Can I start my "man lessons" today? My reactionary post was cranky, over-emotional and over-sensitive. :sad:
Lesson one: Think about boobies.
More boobies.
Is that all?! MORE BOOBIES!
:laugh:
And according to the men here .. and beer. and BJ's .. or is that Kits .. hm .. anyway .. beer, bjs and bewbs.0 -
I know that I say all the time .. isn't there something in the middle between a complete jerk and then the guy who cries more than me. I know I sure as hell can't find him. What I do know is that the sensitive guy is definitely better in bed .. from my experience anyway. But, you have to be able to get to that point with him.
Since we are chatting about men and sex .. lol. How many women out there have an orgasm the first time you sleep with a guy? I can honestly say that I have never ever never had one the first time I have had sex with any guy. Not my husband, not my last boyfriend, nobody. Probably not even the second time. They think I do .. but I don't. Maybe it is a comfort level thing .. I mean I really really want to .. but I don't. Honest engine time ladies.
:blushing: Not that my list is extensive but yes with more than 75% Ive orgasmed the first time.0 -
hm. This just made me think of a story .. I was dating this army guy the summer before I went to college .. he was the freaking hottest man .. good Lord he was hot. He could never stay hard through the whole thing unless we were doing it somewhere other than a bed ..lol. Weird. We did it in the back of moving truck one night when his friend was driving us home from a beach party. That was the most fun place I ever did it. To be 18 again.1
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It kind of depends who is in charge of making that happen. If I left it up to them...no. But otherwise yes...new or old partner...my stats are fairly equal. :blushing:0
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Interesting .. Hmmm .. maybe it is just me ..lol0
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Interesting .. Hmmm .. maybe it is just me ..lol
Well it does have alot to do with how relaxed/ comfortable you are with the situation. I dont get nervous about first time sex anymore cause I always figure the guy is just happy to be that far lol :bigsmile:0 -
Since we are chatting about men and sex .. lol. How many women out there have an orgasm the first time you sleep with a guy? I can honestly say that I have never ever never had one the first time I have had sex with any guy. Not my husband, not my last boyfriend, nobody. Probably not even the second time. They think I do .. but I don't. Maybe it is a comfort level thing .. I mean I really really want to .. but I don't. Honest engine time ladies.
I can count on one hand how many times I have NOT had an orgasm during intercourse.
*ducks*0 -
Interesting .. Hmmm .. maybe it is just me ..lol
No, I'm with you. Never the first time with a guy. I have to feel totally comfortable with the guy to go there, and that usually takes a few practice rounds.0 -
Since we are chatting about men and sex .. lol. How many women out there have an orgasm the first time you sleep with a guy? I can honestly say that I have never ever never had one the first time I have had sex with any guy. Not my husband, not my last boyfriend, nobody. Probably not even the second time. They think I do .. but I don't. Maybe it is a comfort level thing .. I mean I really really want to .. but I don't. Honest engine time ladies.
I can count on one hand how many times I have NOT had an orgasm during intercourse.
*ducks*
But the first time with a new guy .. that is what I am after. It seems to take me like 2 times and then like the third time I get there.0 -
Interesting .. Hmmm .. maybe it is just me ..lol
No, I'm with you. Never the first time with a guy. I have to feel totally comfortable with the guy to go there, and that usually takes a few practice rounds.
do you think it is comfort .. or just finding how you fit together? I'm not sure.0 -
my number of times with new people is very limited..... i mean i was a teenager for the most part and i can't remember that far back, LOL!!!0
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Interesting .. Hmmm .. maybe it is just me ..lol
No, I'm with you. Never the first time with a guy. I have to feel totally comfortable with the guy to go there, and that usually takes a few practice rounds.
do you think it is comfort .. or just finding how you fit together? I'm not sure.
For me it's definitely comfort level. That's a vulnerable place to be and does not get shared with just anyone.0 -
Interesting .. Hmmm .. maybe it is just me ..lol
No, I'm with you. Never the first time with a guy. I have to feel totally comfortable with the guy to go there, and that usually takes a few practice rounds.
do you think it is comfort .. or just finding how you fit together? I'm not sure.
For me it's definitely comfort level. That's a vulnerable place to be and does not get shared with just anyone.
It's a combo of comfort level and not knowing each others likes well enough to hit the right spot, tempo, etc.0 -
Since we are chatting about men and sex .. lol. How many women out there have an orgasm the first time you sleep with a guy? I can honestly say that I have never ever never had one the first time I have had sex with any guy. Not my husband, not my last boyfriend, nobody. Probably not even the second time. They think I do .. but I don't. Maybe it is a comfort level thing .. I mean I really really want to .. but I don't. Honest engine time ladies.
I can count on one hand how many times I have NOT had an orgasm during intercourse.
*ducks*
But the first time with a new guy .. that is what I am after. It seems to take me like 2 times and then like the third time I get there.
Yeah, I know. Actually, I think there was only two times that I couldn't get off the first times we had sex, but it's because one had a miniscule donk and I didn't even realize we were having sex, and the other guy was so drunk he couldn't keep it up and we just passed out instead XD The other two times I couldn't were with already established relationships and were tied to emotional issues (At least one of those I was planning on breaking up with the guy after and I guess I just got distracted).0 -
I love men.
Each one is so different and deserves his own custom built relationship.
I love how they fill in all the areas where we fall short. I love how they have some kind of sixth sense that tells them, oh this is that moment where I step up and handle a situation. I love how the same things that affect them as babies are still the same easy to recognize things that affect them as adults - im jealous that it isnt the same for us girls.
When they are hungry, tired, sick, off their routine or need affection - they get goddamn cranky, and they are totally allowed.
Which is great because those are the 5 things we are excellent at taking care of. I dont feel it makes me a surrogate mom, I feel it makes me a woman.
We get cranky when we cant focus, cant find logic, cant sort out our emotions - or we feel threatened, vulnerable, exposed or helpless. We hate that crap.
Which is great, cause guess what men are great at?
Cutting through emotional BS and making you feel safe and capable.
HIGH FIVE TWO GENDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0 -
I love men.
Each one is so different and deserves his own custom built relationship.
I love how they fill in all the areas where we fall short. I love how they have some kind of sixth sense that tells them, oh this is that moment where I step up and handle a situation. I love how the same things that affect them as babies are still the same easy to recognize things that affect them as adults - im jealous that it isnt the same for us girls.
When they are hungry, tired, sick, off their routine or need affection - they get goddamn cranky, and they are totally allowed.
Which is great because those are the 5 things we are excellent at taking care of. I dont feel it makes me a surrogate mom, I feel it makes me a woman.
We get cranky when we cant focus, cant find logic, cant sort out our emotions - or we feel threatened, vulnerable, exposed or helpless. We hate that crap.
Which is great, cause guess what men are great at?
Cutting through emotional BS and making you feel safe and capable.
HIGH FIVE TWO GENDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I REALLY like this... I'm not sure that I agree with all of it but I really like it.
I'm so tired of the gender wars... I'm tired of women trying to act like men and men trying to act like women all in the name of 'equality' or to be 'politically correct'.
I LOVE that men and women are different so I'll totally join that HIGH FIVE. Yay !!! TWO GENDERS!!!!!!!!
EQUAL BUT DIFFERENT - VIVA THE DIFFERENCE!!0 -
I love men.
Each one is so different and deserves his own custom built relationship.
I love how they fill in all the areas where we fall short. I love how they have some kind of sixth sense that tells them, oh this is that moment where I step up and handle a situation. I love how the same things that affect them as babies are still the same easy to recognize things that affect them as adults - im jealous that it isnt the same for us girls.
When they are hungry, tired, sick, off their routine or need affection - they get goddamn cranky, and they are totally allowed.
Which is great because those are the 5 things we are excellent at taking care of. I dont feel it makes me a surrogate mom, I feel it makes me a woman.
We get cranky when we cant focus, cant find logic, cant sort out our emotions - or we feel threatened, vulnerable, exposed or helpless. We hate that crap.
Which is great, cause guess what men are great at?
Cutting through emotional BS and making you feel safe and capable.
HIGH FIVE TWO GENDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I REALLY like this... I'm not sure that I agree with all of it but I really like it.
I'm so tired of the gender wars... I'm tired of women trying to act like men and men trying to act like women all in the name of 'equality' or to be 'politically correct'.
I LOVE that men and women are different so I'll totally join that HIGH FIVE. Yay !!! TWO GENDERS!!!!!!!!
EQUAL BUT DIFFERENT - VIVA THE DIFFERENCE!!
I agree 100%, props to the OP, I am sick of seeing the gender wars as well.0 -
Provided there is genuine equality of opportunity, so that those who are, perhaps, atypical of their gender are not hindered by it in the pursuit of their individual goals, and equal respect afforded to both, Vive la Difference!0
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Provided there is genuine equality of opportunity, so that those who are, perhaps, atypical of their gender are not hindered by it in the pursuit of their individual goals, and equal respect afforded to both, Vive la Difference!
Yeah. Two genders is cool and all, but I'll fist bump to the billions of unique individuals that define themselves.0 -
Was going to click on the link, but instead stared at your new "breast" pic for 2-3 minutes. Not sure if that proves or disproves anything in the article, since I didn't read it...
--P0
