Friends with benefits - success stories?!
nickyfm
Posts: 1,214 Member
So the low down on FWB has always been that it's a TERRIBLE idea. Someone always gets hurt, it can be confusing, yada yada.
But what happens if that is all it is? Just really good, single friends having some fun?
Any success stories?
I ask because my really good friend and I recently crossed the boundary, but nothing has changed between us, and we're still great friends. Though it was bound to happen, seeing as we would always make out every 6 months or so, and we would constantly cuddle and spoon when he came over. Both of us still just see each other as really good friends, so I reckon it really is just 2 20 somethings having fun
But what happens if that is all it is? Just really good, single friends having some fun?
Any success stories?
I ask because my really good friend and I recently crossed the boundary, but nothing has changed between us, and we're still great friends. Though it was bound to happen, seeing as we would always make out every 6 months or so, and we would constantly cuddle and spoon when he came over. Both of us still just see each other as really good friends, so I reckon it really is just 2 20 somethings having fun
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Replies
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First of all wooohoooo 2000 posts. I personally think this is the perfect spot for my 2000th post.
Almost anyone on here could tell you I'm a firm believer in the whol;e FWB senerio as long as you can keep from falling in love with them.
Lets see first was my long time good friend Mr. Smiley who I would literally just call and go hang out with when I needed to scratch an itch.
Then there was Power plant who was an on again off again FB. We never discussed it outside the bedroom except via text outside the bed we would act like we always did.
But the big one was FFWB (who will probably be getting the position back) We started up in Febuary and we would go out all the time come back to my house heat the sheets ,sleep and then hang out more. To most ousiders they thought we were dating. However each of us started dating someone a few months ago and there was never any ackwardness. He got dumped before I broke up with my BF so we started hanging as just friends again. He always behaved himself and there was never any issues.Also I have found that alot of times sex with FWB is better maybe because they are your friends and in alot of cases know things about you0 -
Also I have found that alot of times sex with FWB is better maybe because they are your friends and in alot of cases know things about you
Yah I also reckon it's coz you're not self conscious, and they know you at your worst and such. Can definitely relax a lot more!!0 -
Also I have found that alot of times sex with FWB is better maybe because they are your friends and in alot of cases know things about you
Yah I also reckon it's coz you're not self conscious, and they know you at your worst and such. Can definitely relax a lot more!!
Well that and they already like you as people so I feel like they want to keep your good opinion of them and try harder especially the first time. Just dont go into expecting it to develop into a real relationship. Remember first and foremost he is your friend. Dont try to make it into something its not and if you start to feel that your feeling to much stop sleeping with him. Don't go catching feelings or you will end up hurt.
edited cause I think any small ability I have to spell completely failed me :blushing:0 -
I have had several FWB's and the only time there was an issue is when I found out one was married to his girl back home (he was stationed in CA, Marine) and that I was a mistress. I didn't really care (it's his job to be faithful, not mine to root it out) and we parted ways. Then he told the girl about me and she lit up my myspace page (yeah, back in the DAY!) about how horrible I was and blah blah blah, then proceeded to accuse me of a bunch of things that I guess her husband had told her about me... that weren't true? So I told her I wished them luck and moved on. That was the worst and it wasn't bad at all.
The best situation was actually a guy I could have seen myself loving. Another Marine. Unfortunately he was getting out of the corps and moving back to Texas - I was still in school and didn't want to leave yet. So we just spent six months together acknowledging the end date. I still think about him sometimes and wonder what he gets up to. Dunno if that counts though.0 -
I'm single, he's not (his issue not mine) and we've been fwb's and friends for a year as of this past July. The friendship comes first and foremost, the "wb" part is last (although it's the best).
Feelings can get in the way sure, but you have to be honest with him, yourself, each other etc of any expectations etc. Happened to me, but it was squashed pretty quickly and now we're the best of friends. We talk/text daily even if we don't see each other but 1 or 2 x a month.
So yes, there are success stories, hopefully you will be one too
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My "first" was a FWB who was also dating someone at the time (not my concern) and we were on and on FWB for 8 years? We still catch up every once in a while but live in different states now. If either one visits and is nearby the other (and we're single), it's on like donkey kong!0
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I'm single, he's not (his issue not mine) and we've been fwb's and friends for a year as of this past July. The friendship comes first and foremost, the "wb" part is last (although it's the best).
Feelings can get in the way sure, but you have to be honest with him, yourself, each other etc of any expectations etc. Happened to me, but it was squashed pretty quickly and now we're the best of friends. We talk/text daily even if we don't see each other but 1 or 2 x a month.
So yes, there are success stories, hopefully you will be one too
Can I ask if you still hookup now that he has a girlfriend?0 -
I'm single, he's not (his issue not mine) and we've been fwb's and friends for a year as of this past July. The friendship comes first and foremost, the "wb" part is last (although it's the best).
Feelings can get in the way sure, but you have to be honest with him, yourself, each other etc of any expectations etc. Happened to me, but it was squashed pretty quickly and now we're the best of friends. We talk/text daily even if we don't see each other but 1 or 2 x a month.
So yes, there are success stories, hopefully you will be one too
Can I ask if you still hookup now that he has a girlfriend?
He doesn't have a girlfriend, but on occasion, if it happens it happens, yes0 -
I'm single, he's not (his issue not mine) and we've been fwb's and friends for a year as of this past July. The friendship comes first and foremost, the "wb" part is last (although it's the best).
Feelings can get in the way sure, but you have to be honest with him, yourself, each other etc of any expectations etc. Happened to me, but it was squashed pretty quickly and now we're the best of friends. We talk/text daily even if we don't see each other but 1 or 2 x a month.
So yes, there are success stories, hopefully you will be one too
Can I ask if you still hookup now that he has a girlfriend?
He doesn't have a girlfriend, but on occasion, if it happens it happens, yes
Oh, I thought he did since you said "I'm single, he's not."0 -
I'm single, he's not (his issue not mine) and we've been fwb's and friends for a year as of this past July. The friendship comes first and foremost, the "wb" part is last (although it's the best).
Feelings can get in the way sure, but you have to be honest with him, yourself, each other etc of any expectations etc. Happened to me, but it was squashed pretty quickly and now we're the best of friends. We talk/text daily even if we don't see each other but 1 or 2 x a month.
So yes, there are success stories, hopefully you will be one too
Can I ask if you still hookup now that he has a girlfriend?
He doesn't have a girlfriend, but on occasion, if it happens it happens, yes
Oh, I thought he did since you said "I'm single, he's not."
Right he isn't single0 -
I'm single, he's not (his issue not mine) and we've been fwb's and friends for a year as of this past July. The friendship comes first and foremost, the "wb" part is last (although it's the best).
Feelings can get in the way sure, but you have to be honest with him, yourself, each other etc of any expectations etc. Happened to me, but it was squashed pretty quickly and now we're the best of friends. We talk/text daily even if we don't see each other but 1 or 2 x a month.
So yes, there are success stories, hopefully you will be one too
Can I ask if you still hookup now that he has a girlfriend?
He doesn't have a girlfriend, but on occasion, if it happens it happens, yes
Oh, I thought he did since you said "I'm single, he's not."
Right he isn't single
..... does he have a boyfriend?0 -
I'm single, he's not (his issue not mine) and we've been fwb's and friends for a year as of this past July. The friendship comes first and foremost, the "wb" part is last (although it's the best).
Feelings can get in the way sure, but you have to be honest with him, yourself, each other etc of any expectations etc. Happened to me, but it was squashed pretty quickly and now we're the best of friends. We talk/text daily even if we don't see each other but 1 or 2 x a month.
So yes, there are success stories, hopefully you will be one too
Can I ask if you still hookup now that he has a girlfriend?
He doesn't have a girlfriend, but on occasion, if it happens it happens, yes
Oh, I thought he did since you said "I'm single, he's not."
Right he isn't single
..... does he have a boyfriend?
BWAHAHAHAHAHA NO. Is it really that hard to deduce what situation he's in? Lol.0 -
I tried to have a FWB, but I'm just to traditional I guess. lol
When I lived in HI I knew that I'd be moving, so didn't get into any serious relationships. I ended up meeting a friend of a friend and we hooked up. The only time I saw him was Friday nights at the bar, then we'd go back to his place. On occassion, I'd go to his place during the week. However, after about 3 months he poofed. Our mutual friend told me that FWB had caught feelings. To be honest, I had actually considered staying in HI for him. I was too scared to tell him that, and too scared that if I stayed, he'd end up leaving me anyway. So, I moved like originally planned. Haven't spoken to him in almost 4 years and haven't put myself in that situation since.0 -
I'm single, he's not (his issue not mine) and we've been fwb's and friends for a year as of this past July. The friendship comes first and foremost, the "wb" part is last (although it's the best).
Feelings can get in the way sure, but you have to be honest with him, yourself, each other etc of any expectations etc. Happened to me, but it was squashed pretty quickly and now we're the best of friends. We talk/text daily even if we don't see each other but 1 or 2 x a month.
So yes, there are success stories, hopefully you will be one too
Can I ask if you still hookup now that he has a girlfriend?
He doesn't have a girlfriend, but on occasion, if it happens it happens, yes
Oh, I thought he did since you said "I'm single, he's not."
Right he isn't single
..... does he have a boyfriend?
BWAHAHAHAHAHA NO. Is it really that hard to deduce what situation he's in? Lol.
People....he's married.0 -
Hmmm, I'm all ears because I'm in a fairly new to this scene too... so far so good.
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I have had several FWB's and the only time there was an issue is when I found out one was married to his girl back home (he was stationed in CA, Marine) and that I was a mistress. I didn't really care (it's his job to be faithful, not mine to root it out) and we parted ways.I'm single, he's not (his issue not mine) and we've been fwb's and friends for a year as of this past July.My "first" was a FWB who was also dating someone at the time (not my concern) and we were on and on FWB for 8 years?
Off topic, but there are 3 quotes here that are very, very similar... I am not attacking anyone, simply trying to ask a question here...are you all really ok being the 'other woman'??0 -
Personally, having been married to the man who had multiple other women, I will never put myself in that situation. And, for that reason, I won't even fool around with a man that's separated. I just don't even want to have any part in it.
But, to each their own.0 -
I haven't ever cheated (can't say I never will because like coma guy the other day you never know what will happen) and I have always told the guys I play with that if they have a GF the candy store closes to them.
I however have no problem with them sleeping with other people (cause I probably will)as long as they aren't in a relationship.0 -
I have been the wife - with the husband - who has "other" ......ok LOTS of other women.Personally, having been married to the man who had multiple other women, I will never put myself in that situation. And, for that reason, I won't even fool around with a man that's separated. I just don't even want to have any part in it.
But, to each their own.
I'm not judging anyone on here, please dont take it that way....
I have to say that I have beat the ever livin crap out of guys that wanted to have a little "fun" and found out that they were married/taken.
I might be bitter....but I'll either get that guy to "think" :laugh: or I'll get him to tuck his precious little weiner between his legs and go home to his wife/girlfriend and think twice about wanting to have "another" woman.
My final words to them after they end up wondering what the hell just happened are "You either go home and love your wife/gf, or get out of that relationship" There are no other options. :explode:
Again....slightly bitter :noway:0 -
My "first" was a FWB who was also dating someone at the time (not my concern) and we were on and on FWB for 8 years?
Off topic, but there are 3 quotes here that are very, very similar... I am not attacking anyone, simply trying to ask a question here...are you all really ok being the 'other woman'??
This ones mine. I was younger and I knew there wouldn't be anything else to it so I basically figured that if he gets caught it's his deal. Now I am NOT ok with it. I tried envisioning myself in her shoes and it would SUCK if another woman knowingly was sleeping with my man.0 -
I have had several FWB's and the only time there was an issue is when I found out one was married to his girl back home (he was stationed in CA, Marine) and that I was a mistress. I didn't really care (it's his job to be faithful, not mine to root it out) and we parted ways.I'm single, he's not (his issue not mine) and we've been fwb's and friends for a year as of this past July.My "first" was a FWB who was also dating someone at the time (not my concern) and we were on and on FWB for 8 years?
Off topic, but there are 3 quotes here that are very, very similar... I am not attacking anyone, simply trying to ask a question here...are you all really ok being the 'other woman'??
Well, I didn't realize he was in a relationship when we were hooking up. I wouldn't intentionally seek out a guy that is taken, usually I lose interest as soon as I find out they are off the market. However if it does happen for whatever reason, I'm not going to feel guilty about it because I'm not the one breaking the commitment. He is. As far as being "the other woman" I would never want an emotional relationship with a guy that I knew was taken. It would never go beyond "Oops, we got drunk and f*cked."
That being said... I wouldn't willingly have sex with a married man. I wouldn't want that done to me as I don't cheat and don't tolerate being cheated on, so I do avoid it.0 -
I'm single, he's not (his issue not mine) and we've been fwb's and friends for a year as of this past July. The friendship comes first and foremost, the "wb" part is last (although it's the best).
Feelings can get in the way sure, but you have to be honest with him, yourself, each other etc of any expectations etc. Happened to me, but it was squashed pretty quickly and now we're the best of friends. We talk/text daily even if we don't see each other but 1 or 2 x a month.
So yes, there are success stories, hopefully you will be one too
Can I ask if you still hookup now that he has a girlfriend?
He doesn't have a girlfriend, but on occasion, if it happens it happens, yes
Oh, I thought he did since you said "I'm single, he's not."
Right he isn't single
..... does he have a boyfriend?
BWAHAHAHAHAHA NO. Is it really that hard to deduce what situation he's in? Lol.
Is he married?
ETA - I see that he probably is.
You're probably not going to like what I'm going to say, but I'm not sure that sleeping with a married man is the best idea. He has a wife. Doesn't matter if they don't have sex, or he doesn't love her anymore or whatever their situation is. They are still bound together, and at sometime, the wife is going to get hurt. Just my two cents. I'm sorry your "friend" is using you this way. A good friend wouldn't have sex with a friend while he's married.0 -
I admit, I have been in every one of the situations- cheated on a boyfriend (in high school) still feel guilty about it, been "the other women", and I have been cheated on in 2 of my relationships.
I flat out refuse to have any part of it now. I feel it is better to break things off if you can't respect a person enough to not cheat on them. I am big with respect and I think cheating is having a lack of respect for your partner.
Now back to the OP- I have been in FWB situations and I tend to get attached so good luck with yours and hopefully you both can keep your emotions in check.0 -
I have turned an ex down because of this. She wasn't married but did have a boyfriend at the time. I told her that it would never happen unless she was single. I've been cheated on and it sucks.I have had several FWB's and the only time there was an issue is when I found out one was married to his girl back home (he was stationed in CA, Marine) and that I was a mistress. I didn't really care (it's his job to be faithful, not mine to root it out) and we parted ways.I'm single, he's not (his issue not mine) and we've been fwb's and friends for a year as of this past July.My "first" was a FWB who was also dating someone at the time (not my concern) and we were on and on FWB for 8 years?
Off topic, but there are 3 quotes here that are very, very similar... I am not attacking anyone, simply trying to ask a question here...are you all really ok being the 'other woman'??
Well, I didn't realize he was in a relationship when we were hooking up. I wouldn't intentionally seek out a guy that is taken, usually I lose interest as soon as I find out they are off the market. However if it does happen for whatever reason, I'm not going to feel guilty about it because I'm not the one breaking the commitment. He is. As far as being "the other woman" I would never want an emotional relationship with a guy that I knew was taken. It would never go beyond "Oops, we got drunk and f*cked."
That being said... I wouldn't willingly have sex with a married man. I wouldn't want that done to me as I don't cheat and don't tolerate being cheated on, so I do avoid it.0 -
I had a great 3 year 'relationship' with a FWB. It was just so easy. No stress. No complications. No dirty laundry! Just fun!
I don't believe in bed hopping, so we did have a pact that if one of us was seeing someone else that we would cool it off.
And I certainly wouldnt be having that kind of relationship with someone IN another relationship :noway: I like my FWB to also have morals!!! I wouldnt find a married man in the least bit attractive :huh:
I agree that you have to keep your emotions in check!!
It only really ended cos he went to live in Canada
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I have had a couple FWBs and they all have lasted a couple months to a year. I would break it off, when I have found a boyfriend. I have been cheated on and I know how it feels to find out that the man you thought you were going to spend your life with has been with other women.
I am not saying all the "other women" are bad, but if you do have knowledge that he is married or in a committed relationship, then you are to blame too. It takes TWO!0 -
I am not saying all the "other women" are bad, but if you do have knowledge that he is married or in a committed relationship, then you are to blame too. It takes TWO!
Unless the other woman is your friend, she is not the cheater, she did not betray you. The man who slept around is the one that hurt you.
I never understood how people would get so angry at the "other" person, but then take back their SO. It's so backwards to me.0 -
I am not saying all the "other women" are bad, but if you do have knowledge that he is married or in a committed relationship, then you are to blame too. It takes TWO!
Unless the other woman is your friend, she is not the cheater, she did not betray you. The man who slept around is the one that hurt you.
I never understood how people would get so angry at the "other" person, but then take back their SO. It's so backwards to me.
My friend? If she was a friend then she wasn't a good one. I would blame ALL parties, which I did - dumped him and moved on. Now there is situations where the woman or man didn't find out they were married until later, then that might be a different situation according to how they handled it.0 -
I am not saying all the "other women" are bad, but if you do have knowledge that he is married or in a committed relationship, then you are to blame too. It takes TWO!
Unless the other woman is your friend, she is not the cheater, she did not betray you. The man who slept around is the one that hurt you.
I never understood how people would get so angry at the "other" person, but then take back their SO. It's so backwards to me.
My friend? If she was a friend then she wasn't a good one. I would blame ALL parties, which I did - dumped him and moved on. Now there is situations where the woman or man didn't find out they were married until later, then that might be a different situation according to how they handled it.
Right, that's why I said UNLESS the woman is your friend it's not her problem. If she's your friend she has also betrayed your trust.0 -
I am not saying all the "other women" are bad, but if you do have knowledge that he is married or in a committed relationship, then you are to blame too. It takes TWO!
Unless the other woman is your friend, she is not the cheater, she did not betray you. The man who slept around is the one that hurt you.
I never understood how people would get so angry at the "other" person, but then take back their SO. It's so backwards to me.
My friend? If she was a friend then she wasn't a good one. I would blame ALL parties, which I did - dumped him and moved on. Now there is situations where the woman or man didn't find out they were married until later, then that might be a different situation according to how they handled it.
Right, that's why I said UNLESS the woman is your friend it's not her problem. If she's your friend she has also betrayed your trust.
Ah, got you!0
