Boobies! =)
Replies
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and yeah, i could have chosen my words better with this other guy. i know i asked him " do you mean after a date kiss?" and then added the " or just to meet up and kiss." because he said " we'll, we're both cute, so we should kiss." it caught me off guard. this is a guy that is a member of the same church i am, and i wasn't expecting it......
If I wanted to date him I probably would have said something flirty like:
"We are cute! We should totally go on a date!"
Or "Hmm.. a kiss. Interesting idea. Maybe after our first date...if you're lucky."0 -
i don't show cleavage. my tops are cut high. i often even wear mens tops to avoid any chance for cleavage, LOL *** see my shirt in my profile pic!!!!
i am not demure or snobby. i'm filterless and whatever thought comes into my head, usually falls out of my mouth :-/ maybe i need to work on being demure ;-)
i'm done with online so i don't need to worry about that anymore. i accepted last night that i just might be one of those women that is destined to be alone. i have my kids and friends, they all keep me plenty entertained. i went 2.5 years without a relationship, date, or sex. i know i can do it again, and i will be ok :-) i just don't want to be the girl that gets sexualized anymore. i want to be the girl that is viewed as worthy of being asked out. that's all!!
the girls that gets a message that says " you look great" not " are your nipples hard like that all the time?" a friend and i were both contacted by the same guy online and she got asked out on a date the first time they messaged, and i was told that he " hadn't had any kind of action in a while" and maybe we "could kiss ;-) " i asked him if he meant go on a date and kiss afterwards or just meet up and kiss? he responded "either way, he didn't really care"........ so, my friend is date worthy, but i'm only smash worthy. i am wondering if this is a scale thing. like she's a 10/10 and therefore datable and i'm only a 5/10 and therefore only smashable. i was gonna as the BB.com guys about this :-)
I've been trying to push this message for months on here, "Don't worry about what you can't control." However nobody is picking up what I'm putting down. You can't control what a guy is going to message you or think of you, so don't worry about it. Learn to have fun with that stuff. I wish I got dirty messages. And if you have big boobs, rock them! If I had a 12" dong I'd be wearing the tightest jeans I could find... unfortunately I only have an 11" dong
It is not all it is made out to be.
Well played!0 -
i totally don't think like that. and never on the fly.
maybe i'm just awful at all this dating stuff. that is entirely possible :-) i don't do much to make people think i'm available OR interested, LOL!!!!
If I wanted to date him I probably would have said something flirty like:
"We are cute! We should totally go on a date!"
Or "Hmm.. a kiss. Interesting idea. Maybe after our first date...if you're lucky."0 -
the online guys have ALL been older!!! most over 40 some over 45!! i literally have a million stories just like this.
one guy i was supposed to have lunch with, he was 45. we had spoken a couple times, etc. and i told him i need to jump in the shower quickly. his response was " well, make sure you take a topless pic when you get out and send it to me. " needless to say, there was no lunch.
I hate to say it, but most guys your age are only looking for sex. It seems to be how things are going. You will need to look at men that are a little bit older than you, they tend to have better manors when it comes interaction. IMO
Really? You canceled a date because the guy made a joke? I've gotten messages like that and I've laughed it off! Sure they're hoping you send a topless pic, but they're not going to ditch you just because you didn't. It doesn't mean that you're only smashable, it means the dude hopes that someday he gets to have sex with you - which is what a relationship is about!0 -
no HE canceled the date because *I* didn't send him pics......the online guys have ALL been older!!! most over 40 some over 45!! i literally have a million stories just like this.
one guy i was supposed to have lunch with, he was 45. we had spoken a couple times, etc. and i told him i need to jump in the shower quickly. his response was " well, make sure you take a topless pic when you get out and send it to me. " needless to say, there was no lunch.
I hate to say it, but most guys your age are only looking for sex. It seems to be how things are going. You will need to look at men that are a little bit older than you, they tend to have better manors when it comes interaction. IMO
Really? You canceled a date because the guy made a joke? I've gotten messages like that and I've laughed it off! Sure they're hoping you send a topless pic, but they're not going to ditch you just because you didn't. It doesn't mean that you're only smashable, it means the dude hopes that someday he gets to have sex with you - which is what a relationship is about!0 -
the online guys have ALL been older!!! most over 40 some over 45!! i literally have a million stories just like this.
one guy i was supposed to have lunch with, he was 45. we had spoken a couple times, etc. and i told him i need to jump in the shower quickly. his response was " well, make sure you take a topless pic when you get out and send it to me. " needless to say, there was no lunch.
I hate to say it, but most guys your age are only looking for sex. It seems to be how things are going. You will need to look at men that are a little bit older than you, they tend to have better manors when it comes interaction. IMO
Sounds like he was just joking. I'd totally say something like that in a flirtatious way.0 -
the online guys have ALL been older!!! most over 40 some over 45!! i literally have a million stories just like this.
one guy i was supposed to have lunch with, he was 45. we had spoken a couple times, etc. and i told him i need to jump in the shower quickly. his response was " well, make sure you take a topless pic when you get out and send it to me. " needless to say, there was no lunch.
I hate to say it, but most guys your age are only looking for sex. It seems to be how things are going. You will need to look at men that are a little bit older than you, they tend to have better manors when it comes interaction. IMO
Really? You canceled a date because the guy made a joke? I've gotten messages like that and I've laughed it off! Sure they're hoping you send a topless pic, but they're not going to ditch you just because you didn't. It doesn't mean that you're only smashable, it means the dude hopes that someday he gets to have sex with you - which is what a relationship is about!
i'd have cancelled. just as i'm sure any self respecting guy would cancel a date with a bimbo asking him to take pictures of the cash in his wallet.
i dont mind bad taste jokes when i know the person. if i dont know them, then that type of BS wont fly0 -
no he made it clear he wasn't interested in going on a date after i LOL'd and said no :-) with a smile on my face. i wasn't about to chase him down either...0
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We play scoops all the time at the bar and most of us are straight.
scoops??0 -
i've been dealing with the realization that i have no worth to men when it comes to dating or an actual relationship. the only thing i am seen as, or asked out for, or messaged for is purely sexual. that's it. that's all i'm good for. and man do they get pissy or do an immediate 180 when they realize i'm NOT that kind of girl.............
why is this? a girlfriend whined about this once, but her pictures made her look both depressed and skanky. nothing made her look like a classy but still sexy lady0 -
i don't know :-)
my profile pic here was one of the online dating pics. and then i have one where my hair is straight and you can see there is a kid on my back. another is of my feet and the beach and ocean. and one is with my hair curly but pulled up, standing under a huge green plant. that's all :-) so, no clue!0 -
i love boobies, but i am beginning to hate the fact that i have them.
i'm sick of married men messaging me here because i post them. i quit MFP once before ( was r1ghtpath) because it was out of control!!!!
today this is an incredibly sore subject for me. i've been dealing with the realization that i have no worth to men when it comes to dating or an actual relationship. the only thing i am seen as, or asked out for, or messaged for is purely sexual. that's it. that's all i'm good for. and man do they get pissy or do an immediate 180 when they realize i'm NOT that kind of girl.............
i don't post full body pics on dating websites because i get messages that are even MORE obnoxious than " i want to cum in you." it's demoralizing after the flattery has worn off. and the flattery wore off about 11 months ago. i AM MORE than my boobs!!!! and i want to be seen as more than just a set of nice tits. i want someone to be interested in getting to know me because they might think i'm cool or funny. or just worth more than a sexual item.
i have cried for like 18 hrs straight now because of this. i'm beginning to think this is the reason i won't/can't really lose weight or change my body. if i hate it now, i'll hate it even more later :-(
sorry you're having a hard time with your boobage.
i agree that in general the perception about big breasted women is that we are sluttier than average or small sized girls which may or may not be the case depending on the individual. I know that for most of the larger breasts women i've met who developped early, we all pretty much got used to being inappropriately groped. Some learned to accept it (which probably lead to the big breasted bimbo stereotype) while others learned how to throat chop.
. I pretty much just let things roll off and not take it personally. i guess i've been lucky that even though almost all of the guys i've dated have been boob guys, they all had the good taste to not tell me as soon as we started dating :laugh:0 -
I've always wondered if men are turned off by things like large areola or that one boob is a little bigger than the other one or if they're not like porn-star boobs.
I have a love hate relationship with mine.
but at this point you're naked. i dont think any straight guy would be like ok no plz put your shirt back on because your breasts are 2 different sizes. i honestly don't think that's the level of detail that's crossing their minds when a naked woman is in front of them, but i could be wrong :laugh:0 -
I've always wondered if men are turned off by things like large areola or that one boob is a little bigger than the other one or if they're not like porn-star boobs.
I have a love hate relationship with mine.
I will go out on a limb and say this is an almost entirely female perception.
I will also creep farther out on that limb to say if I am with you and am looking at your breasts (or any of the rest of you naked) I do not care or even see "imperfections" and neither do 98% of the rest of the male population in the western world.0 -
Since most everything has been said, I just wanted to point out I am a big fan of boobies.0
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I've always wondered if men are turned off by things like large areola or that one boob is a little bigger than the other one or if they're not like porn-star boobs.
I have a love hate relationship with mine.
I will go out on a limb and say this is an almost entirely female perception.
I will also creep farther out on that limb to say if I am with you and am looking at your breasts (or any of the rest of you naked) I do not care or even see "imperfections" and neither do 98% of the rest of the male population in the western world.
Pretty spot on.0 -
I've always wondered if men are turned off by things like large areola or that one boob is a little bigger than the other one or if they're not like porn-star boobs.
I have a love hate relationship with mine.
but at this point you're naked. i dont think any straight guy would be like ok no plz put your shirt back on because your breasts are 2 different sizes. i honestly don't think that's the level of detail that's crossing their minds when a naked woman is in front of them, but i could be wrong :laugh:
Literally busted out laughing at this - boss is now wondering what I'm working on that's so funny!!0 -
I think men like boobs because only women have them. While men might have preferences for big or small boobs I think the reason men like them in general is hidden deep in the male psyche. In other words it's hard-wired into our brains... by evolution probably.
That's why if you ask a man why he likes boobs his initial response is likely to be something like "Well... because they're boobs. Who doesn't like boobs?" If pushed for a reason he might come up with "they are fun" or something equally lame but his first reaction was the truest...
We don't know why we like boobs... we just do.0 -
i believe it starts at a VERY young age too. my son is obsessed with mine. my girls were too at his age though........ . now, they just stare at them and wonder if theirs will be as big...... LOL!0
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I've been trying to push this message for months on here, "Don't worry about what you can't control." However nobody is picking up what I'm putting down. You can't control what a guy is going to message you or think of you, so don't worry about it. Learn to have fun with that stuff. I wish I got dirty messages. And if you have big boobs, rock them! If I had a 12" dong I'd be wearing the tightest jeans I could find... unfortunately I only have an 11" dong
**DONG!!
I'm saying this with all sincerity that I believe you are the most level-headed guy that posts around here. It is appreciated.
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I've been trying to push this message for months on here, "Don't worry about what you can't control." However nobody is picking up what I'm putting down. You can't control what a guy is going to message you or think of you, so don't worry about it. Learn to have fun with that stuff. I wish I got dirty messages. And if you have big boobs, rock them! If I had a 12" dong I'd be wearing the tightest jeans I could find... unfortunately I only have an 11" dong
**DONG!!
I'm saying this with all sincerity that I believe you are the most level-headed guy that posts around here. It is appreciated.
I agree. I need a couple Poncho's more local to me!0 -
so, both of you ladies are totally ok with the idea of 98% of the men you come in contact with just sexualizing you? having no intention of dating you or getting to know you, or ever wanting a relationship with you?
you're ok with having to weed through ALL of that to find ONE person that doesn't immediately ask for dirty pics? or ask you to talk dirty to them? and you're ok if this goes on for a year or more?
i am an extremely patient and understanding person. i do not judge others. but, i will walk away if something isn't good for me or hurts me. i was flattered at first, last year. i was single for 2.5 yrs. zero attention from any male. my ex never complimented me. he'd just tell me "if you do lose weight, don't lose it in your boobs or your butt." and that's it. but, never complimented me. he'd cut me down before he'd say something nice. so, yeah in the beginning it was flattering!
it's not flattering anymore. it's discouraging. i don't want to be asked for naked pictures every time i get to the point of sharing my phone number with someone. i don't want conversations to become sexual before i've even MET someone!!! i want to be like my friend, that got asked out during the initial conversation..... instead of being the girl that gets told " it's been awhile since i've had anything" ( refering to physical contact). he didn't ask my friend if they could kiss, no, he asked her out on a date for the next night!!!! me, just several passing comments about hooking up type behavior.
i think it's easy for someone to tell me to 'learn to have fun with that stuff' when it's not happening to them, and they've met someone. if that's what i am supposed to do, just " be ok with it all" then i'm glad i quit it all. because no thanks. i don't want to be ok with that. it's disrespectful and demeaning. and if women are supposed to just accept it and be ok with it and STILL go on dates with these guys, i don't want to be any part of that. i want to go on a date with a guy that actually wants to get to know me before trying to have sex with me, LOL!!!I've been trying to push this message for months on here, "Don't worry about what you can't control." However nobody is picking up what I'm putting down. You can't control what a guy is going to message you or think of you, so don't worry about it. Learn to have fun with that stuff. I wish I got dirty messages. And if you have big boobs, rock them! If I had a 12" dong I'd be wearing the tightest jeans I could find... unfortunately I only have an 11" dong
**DONG!!
I'm saying this with all sincerity that I believe you are the most level-headed guy that posts around here. It is appreciated.
I agree. I need a couple Poncho's more local to me!0 -
I get that it can be frustrating. Most men are OK with sex without strings, without a relationship.so, both of you ladies are totally ok with the idea of 98% of the men you come in contact with just sexualizing you? having no intention of dating you or getting to know you, or ever wanting a relationship with you?
you're ok with having to weed through ALL of that to find ONE person that doesn't immediately ask for dirty pics? or ask you to talk dirty to them? and you're ok if this goes on for a year or more?
I would imagine that the way your interact with people, your profile and pictures set up this vibe.
Otherwise how would you explain that your friend and other people get different kind of interactions with men?
Work on: your profile, your pictures, your vibe, your communication with people.
These are the only things people can see about you before meeting you, so clearly if others have different result, the problem lies here.
It might not be easy to narrow it down, but from what I read about you and the way you've been posting on this forum, it might be the way you communicate (which is sometimes... strange... :laugh: ) more than your pictures.
Still, would you change all of that, you will never be able to stop receiving such messages - there will always be a percentage of men doing that. On a side note, everyone has balls online so of course you will get a lot more of people acting like this online.
Also I agree with what Mike said earlier (rating system and all). I can write some more about it if anyone is interested (how your "perceived value" affects the way people interact with you), but he basically laid the ground for this topic...0 -
That's why if you ask a man why he likes boobs his initial response is likely to be something like "Well... because they're boobs. Who doesn't like boobs?" If pushed for a reason he might come up with "they are fun" or something equally lame but his first reaction was the truest...
We don't know why we like boobs... we just do.
Exactly! I think any guy I have ever asked .. not hat I go around daily asking boys why they like boobs .. is .. uh, cuz they're boobs!
lol.0 -
That's why if you ask a man why he likes boobs his initial response is likely to be something like "Well... because they're boobs. Who doesn't like boobs?" If pushed for a reason he might come up with "they are fun" or something equally lame but his first reaction was the truest...
We don't know why we like boobs... we just do.
Exactly! I think any guy I have ever asked .. not hat I go around daily asking boys why they like boobs .. is .. uh, cuz they're boobs!
lol.
lol....I agree! I asked the man of moment the same question last night and his reply was "can't put my finger on it" !! :laugh:
And he is definitely a boob man! :bigsmile:0 -
That's why if you ask a man why he likes boobs his initial response is likely to be something like "Well... because they're boobs. Who doesn't like boobs?" If pushed for a reason he might come up with "they are fun" or something equally lame but his first reaction was the truest...
We don't know why we like boobs... we just do.
Exactly! I think any guy I have ever asked .. not hat I go around daily asking boys why they like boobs .. is .. uh, cuz they're boobs!
lol.
lol....I agree! I asked the man of moment the same question last night and his reply was "can't put my finger on it" !! :laugh:
And he is definitely a boob man! :bigsmile:
:huh: man of the moment???? ANNA! spill!0 -
We play scoops all the time at the bar and most of us are straight.
scoops??
Yeah I probably should have explained that one. Scoops is a game my girls and guys came up with. Basically you scoop the persons chest in an upward motion and say "scoops" Its not considered grouping and is kinda like getting your *kitten* smacked except everyone is sitting down. Guys and girls plays and guys get scooped too. Basically drunken fun :blushing: :bigsmile: :drinker:0 -
I get that it can be frustrating. Most men are OK with sex without strings, without a relationship.so, both of you ladies are totally ok with the idea of 98% of the men you come in contact with just sexualizing you? having no intention of dating you or getting to know you, or ever wanting a relationship with you?
you're ok with having to weed through ALL of that to find ONE person that doesn't immediately ask for dirty pics? or ask you to talk dirty to them? and you're ok if this goes on for a year or more?
I would imagine that the way your interact with people, your profile and pictures set up this vibe.
Otherwise how would you explain that your friend and other people get different kind of interactions with men?
Work on: your profile, your pictures, your vibe, your communication with people.
These are the only things people can see about you before meeting you, so clearly if others have different result, the problem lies here.
It might not be easy to narrow it down, but from what I read about you and the way you've been posting on this forum, it might be the way you communicate (which is sometimes... strange... :laugh: ) more than your pictures.
Still, would you change all of that, you will never be able to stop receiving such messages - there will always be a percentage of men doing that. On a side note, everyone has balls online so of course you will get a lot more of people acting like this online.
Also I agree with what Mike said earlier (rating system and all). I can write some more about it if anyone is interested (how your "perceived value" affects the way people interact with you), but he basically laid the ground for this topic...
^^^^ Quite honestly I assme most men are sexualizing me. Not that they are gonna run me down and jump me in the bathroom but thier first though is usually along the lines of some kind of hormonal reaction wether they act on it or not. To deny this is to lie to yourself. Subconcioussly women do it to.The internet just makes them braver. And I have men ask me for naked pics my answer is usually along the lines of "yeah no...but A for effort"... it makes them laugh. Most men dont honestly expect the pictures its more of a test to see how you will react. Remember also that you lose alot of context in a text message so what may have meant to sound jokey /flirty comes out creepy ..
Remember is dating not quantam therory or the end of the world. Have fun with it and don't stress it so much0 -
I get that it can be frustrating. Most men are OK with sex without strings, without a relationship.so, both of you ladies are totally ok with the idea of 98% of the men you come in contact with just sexualizing you? having no intention of dating you or getting to know you, or ever wanting a relationship with you?
you're ok with having to weed through ALL of that to find ONE person that doesn't immediately ask for dirty pics? or ask you to talk dirty to them? and you're ok if this goes on for a year or more?
I would imagine that the way your interact with people, your profile and pictures set up this vibe.
Otherwise how would you explain that your friend and other people get different kind of interactions with men?
Work on: your profile, your pictures, your vibe, your communication with people.
These are the only things people can see about you before meeting you, so clearly if others have different result, the problem lies here.
So you asked if I'm ok with 98% of the men sexualizing me... The thing is I'd say from online dating my response rate is about 50-50, where half of the messages I get are rude and sexual and half are serious and potential matches. I guess it's easier to laugh off the half that are frustrating since I also get the others too.
Like Flim, I'm also wondering if there's a vibe you're sending with your photos or text in your profile that is coming across somehow that you are not aware of? Obviously we don't know what that could be though. I'm also wondering if perhaps you are creating the sexual issue by being too up front about not wanting to sleep with anyone, etc.? To be clear, I am not saying change your beliefs or behavior, but I am saying perhaps you're actually the one bringing it up too soon by being overly honest about that fact and then guys want to 'test' you... Does that make sense?
I'd be happy to help look over your profile - either on a thread or PM me - just to see if a fresh set of eyes catches something you may be missing. Wishing you good luck and less frustration for sure!0 -
I get that it can be frustrating. Most men are OK with sex without strings, without a relationship.so, both of you ladies are totally ok with the idea of 98% of the men you come in contact with just sexualizing you? having no intention of dating you or getting to know you, or ever wanting a relationship with you?
you're ok with having to weed through ALL of that to find ONE person that doesn't immediately ask for dirty pics? or ask you to talk dirty to them? and you're ok if this goes on for a year or more?
I would imagine that the way your interact with people, your profile and pictures set up this vibe.
Otherwise how would you explain that your friend and other people get different kind of interactions with men?
Work on: your profile, your pictures, your vibe, your communication with people.
These are the only things people can see about you before meeting you, so clearly if others have different result, the problem lies here.
So you asked if I'm ok with 98% of the men sexualizing me... The thing is I'd say from online dating my response rate is about 50-50, where half of the messages I get are rude and sexual and half are serious and potential matches. I guess it's easier to laugh off the half that are frustrating since I also get the others too.
Like Flim, I'm also wondering if there's a vibe you're sending with your photos or text in your profile that is coming across somehow that you are not aware of? Obviously we don't know what that could be though. I'm also wondering if perhaps you are creating the sexual issue by being too up front about not wanting to sleep with anyone, etc.? To be clear, I am not saying change your beliefs or behavior, but I am saying perhaps you're actually the one bringing it up too soon by being overly honest about that fact and then guys want to 'test' you... Does that make sense?
I'd be happy to help look over your profile - either on a thread or PM me - just to see if a fresh set of eyes catches something you may be missing. Wishing you good luck and less frustration for sure!
That is true...I read that if you tell a guy, "I don't hook up until the 3rd date," some men will take you on three dates, sleep with you and poof. Like you, I take it slow with men. But I wouldn't announce it. Once they get to know you, it
Shouldn't bother them to wait a while...but I think if its upfront, they think "I have to test her."
I also agree that things written can take on different tones than if spoken verbally.
Before assuming each message is dirty, I'd look at the context. The nipple thing is gross. But if its more of a generic "wow, you're hot!" some men aren't so smooth as they think they are.
Also, if you mention that you have five kids, they might take it as "wow, she loves sex." Dumb conclusion though.
I would definitely have someone read over your profile and help you edit it and choose pics.0
