That time of the year...

flimflamfloz

That's a nice thought to think, but I don't think most people mean it like that. I think they mean it like, "What's wrong with you that you're single?" If they wanted to say a compliment, they would add, "because you're so cute/funny/nice/friendly."

Just ask then... To check if you are right or wrong about about it all... what does it cost you to ask anyway?
So just ask, next time: "What do you mean?" or "Why are you saying that?".

Or dismiss the question by making a joke, as others have suggested.

christine24t

Ask them out on a date if they are single. Ask them for a referral to a single and looking person if they are not since they are taking an interest in your dating life.

Generally speaking, this is a good idea but the man who asked lives an hour away and so anyone he knew wouldn't have been in my vicinity. The woman ran away quite quickly (she was just up grabbing some dessert from where I was sitting).

christine24t

That's a nice thought to think, but I don't think most people mean it like that. I think they mean it like, "What's wrong with you that you're single?" If they wanted to say a compliment, they would add, "because you're so cute/funny/nice/friendly."

Just ask then... To check if you are right or wrong about about it all... what does it cost you to ask anyway?
So just ask, next time: "What do you mean?" or "Why are you saying that?".

I just can't be rude back, it's not my nature. The question is clear, and to me, answering that way back is kind of being a smarta$$. But you're a man and that comes off completely different than if a woman was to say it. Men can get away with that kinda stuff.

flimflamfloz

That's a nice thought to think, but I don't think most people mean it like that. I think they mean it like, "What's wrong with you that you're single?" If they wanted to say a compliment, they would add, "because you're so cute/funny/nice/friendly."

Just ask then... To check if you are right or wrong about about it all... what does it cost you to ask anyway?
So just ask, next time: "What do you mean?" or "Why are you saying that?".

I just can't be rude back, it's not my nature. The question is clear, and to me, answering that way back is kind of being a smarta$$. But you're a man and that comes off completely different than if a woman was to say it. Men can get away with that kinda stuff.

What the hell... Now even "What do you mean?" is rude!!! Seriously?
It didn't even cross my mind that it could be. Imagine saying that with a smile and with an interrogative tone of voice if it helps you then... Like, when you don't understand something someone has said, for example?

YES, it is possible for people to be nice to each other and not everyone is trying to be rude at other people all the time!

christine24t

That's a nice thought to think, but I don't think most people mean it like that. I think they mean it like, "What's wrong with you that you're single?" If they wanted to say a compliment, they would add, "because you're so cute/funny/nice/friendly."

Just ask then... To check if you are right or wrong about about it all... what does it cost you to ask anyway?
So just ask, next time: "What do you mean?" or "Why are you saying that?".

I just can't be rude back, it's not my nature. The question is clear, and to me, answering that way back is kind of being a smarta$$. But you're a man and that comes off completely different than if a woman was to say it. Men can get away with that kinda stuff.

What the hell... Now even "What do you mean?" is rude!!! Seriously?
It didn't even cross my mind that it could be. Imagine saying that with a smile and with an interrogative tone of voice if it helps you then... Like, when you don't understand something someone has said, for example?

YES, it is possible for people to be nice to each other and not everyone is trying to be rude at other people all the time!

I guess it depends on tone. To me, saying, "What do you mean?" when you've clearly heard the question and it's a simple question, is rude. It's doubting what the person said. I don't want to be rude back to the person.

If you don't understand the question, "What do you mean?" is fine. But when the question is simply, "why are you single?" it's not like the speaker has another intention so you know what it means. So to ask "what do you mean?" is rude to me.

And don't even get me started with "why are you saying that?"

ETA - Most people are very nice in this world. But it is all about your intent behind your words. "What do you mean?" is rude, depending on what you are asking and what your intent is.

FallingInLoveWithMe

if a guy is asking me, it's usually because he's trying to see if I am available. if he asks why not, it is usually because he thinks i'm hot or could be a good catch and he's surprised i'm actually single.

i like to answer do you have a boyfriend with no but i'm taking applications. questions like why not with something like because you haven't asked me out yet or set me up with a friend if he's obviously attached.

sometimes old people ask it to be mean, but just ignore them and dont let it get you down. they're old. its like theyre from a different time zone and decades ago something was seriously wrong for someone our age being single. they just didnt get the memo that times have changed. or they think they're actually helping or something.

christine24t

sometimes old people ask it to be mean, but just ignore them and dont let it get you down. they're old. its like theyre from a different time zone and decades ago something was seriously wrong for someone our age being single. they just didnt get the memo that times have changed. or they think they're actually helping or something.

That is a good point...I think our generation is sooo much different than the previous ones...none of my close friends have BFs.