Why am I so turned off by an uneducated man?
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A guy has to be smart. And when I say smart, I mean sharp, witty, emotionally intelligent, and not vapid.
As for education, or lack thereof, neither is really a deal-breaker. However, if a guy is stuck in a job at the Dollar Store(just some random example) making minimum wage and doesn't plan to do anything to change it... Count me out. It's all about being motivated.
Education is somewhat irrelevant right now (depending on your age). More than half of all recent college graduates (since 2006) are either unemployed or underemployed in the US. Western Europe has a lot of unemployment and underemployment in their college grads under 30.
The older singles in this group probably won't encounter this segment of the population, but this is normal amongst those in their 20s. I think male graduates have been harder hit than female graduates.
So a woman like Sam, who is 21, might see a guy like 22-26 who has a college degree but is a barista at Starbucks or stocking shelves at Walmart. These are the victims of the economy. I called this type of thing a tragedy on another thread in here and was slightly vilified for it.
I wouldn't call it a tragedy. I'd call it paying your dues. I finished college in 3 years with honors. My first job was loading trucks part time for UPS. I supplemented my income by working at bars. Things turned out okay in the end.0 -
Intelligence - a wide range of knowledge and interests, an active, curious mind and an openness to new ideas - is a massive turn-on for me. The lack of such is boring, limits conversation, and is an automatic turn-off (again; for me). I don't necessarily measure intelligence by educational achievement, but if you're going to keep up with the conversation when you meet my close friends, you will need to be well-informed and widely read about a wide variety of topics, and be fairly quick on your toes with word-play and badinage. You'll also need to be intellectually-confident - we're an opinionated bunch, and debate can get fierce, on any manner of subject!
Poor grammar and/or spelling (particularly the former, which is more immediately obvious), or a very limited/mostly crass vocabulary will diminish the allure of even the most gorgeous man significantly, in my eyes (or should that be ears?!), unless his mother-tongue is not the language we're speaking in - allowances will be made ;-)
I'd be very hard-pressed to say whether intelligence or kindness/gentility of spirit was my top-ranked priority in a man. I think the
latter probably takes the laurels, but only just!
Edited to add: I agree with DM that the current unemployment/underemployment of young graduates is a tragedy of sorts (the world must be ending! No, wait, that's on Friday:laugh: ). What a profound waste of so many bright minds, so much talent and energy. I'd be interested to know why this attracted vilification? Seems obvious to me... On the other hand, I do sometimes wonder if college-as-standard has become too prevalent. I need to go to sleep now, but may have time to come back to this
tomorrow.0 -
*Grabs beer and tucks hand in waistband ala Al Bundy*
(((BURRRRP)))0 -
I called this type of thing a tragedy on another thread in here and was slightly vilified for it.
Quit being dramatic, no one vilified you. We disagreed that it was a tragedy that was comparable to a single massive event in a timeline, rather than a drawn out, subtle, underlying inconvenience.0 -
I guess it depends if he's actually intelligent and worldly or just acts like it. But I think if I was pick, I'd prefer someone with average intelligence, but could make me laugh like no other.
I've never been turned off by actual intelligence, I have though been turned off by arrogantness.
Exactly this.0 -
Ladies..what are your dealbreakers or desires when it comes to male intelligence and how that relates to his attractiveness?
intelligence is always sexy, especially if it's representative of different types of areas like emotional, kinesthetic, capacity for abstract thought, curiosity, etc. i prefer guys who have overall intelligence, so it's not really about how much he knows, it's more about what his capacity is to learn more.
i'm not a fan of the nerd since personality is also a big one for me. i have very little tolerance for social awkwardness. that's been a tough one since i've moved to the bay area since most of the guys here are a 9 on the 10 pt social awkwardness scale:laugh: if a guy can be both somewhat sociable and nerdy then great, otherwise it just comes off as weird and weird very rarely makes me tingly in the pants :laugh:
i've dated hot and stupid but i easily get bored and . i'd always take a brilliant 5 or 6 guy with a great personality over a borderline retarded 10 guy with the personality of a wet blanket.So do you ladies prefer the intelligence for the conversation/having someone that can intellectually challenge you/the earning potential and where does intelligence figure into your grand scheme of things?
for the conversation and for the challenge. someone's earning potential has little to do in my preferences, so long as we're at least equally yoked in that regards.
education isn't really indicative of anything much these days as i've met some stupid PhD and some GED guys with razor sharp wit
i agree with this. i dont know why but i seem to run across this type of posing quite often. guys who harp on the fact that they dont own or watch TV, watch mainstream movies, because they are too intelligent for that. the funny thing when you get into an actual conversation with the guys you realize they are just posing to make themselves seem more interestingThere's also the people that pretend to be more smart than they are. They're so stuck on appearances they can't ever be silly or playful and instead serious-face all the good times. I avoid them too. Booooooring!
PS batman isn't a super hero unless you count being born with a lot of extra money to buy super cool gadgets and being a big enough trust fund baby to spend time training with international badasses as a superpower.0 -
I am turned off of uneducated men because of a few uneducated men I have encountered in my life who have turned me off! I don't care to interact with someone in a relationship who is constantly trying to prove that he is smart, to show me up in some way with something he knows... or my favourite: to prove that, while I'm book smart, he's just so darned "street smart".Ha ha ha... this was purely to amuse myself.
However, I do enjoy an intelligent, worldly man, but I evaluate this mostly based on grammar, wit, confidence, ability to contribute to a decent conversation and objectively contemplate the world in all its lovely shades of grey. A degree, advanced or otherwise does not guarantee any of those qualities.
Ladies..what are your dealbreakers or desires when it comes to male intelligence and how that relates to his attractiveness?
Also, as a university professor, I require a partner to have an undergraduate degree so I know they have been through the university experience and can relate to my life. It makes it easy for me to talk about my day and issues at work. My parents didn't go to college and they don't get many aspects of my life because of that.
I don't care about higher degrees, as long as a man can express himself well, talk about interesting things and show that he is interested in the world and learning - someone who wants to see the world and continually know more about science, nature and history and isn't satisfied with just doing the same old thing day in, day out without ever using his brain. An advanced degree, to me, is merely a means to an end (a specific career path) and not a measure of intelligence.
Good grammar is important, but I've relaxed this now with my new BF who speaks English as his second language - that applies to only native speakers for me. Like others have said, arrogance about intelligence is also turn-off though. Nobody likes a know-it-all.
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Intelligent conversation can mean different things to different people.I prefer them not so nerdy; HOWEVER, I do prefer someone who can hold an intelligent conversation. Not just xbox, movies and s*x.
What qualifies as intelligent conversation?? Talking about your education??
Thank you lacroyx.
Poncho- no, not about my education. It's about being able to SPEAK intelligently, your response and the conversation flow.
I was just being sarcastic with the recent arguments on here0 -
Intelligent conversation can mean different things to different people.I prefer them not so nerdy; HOWEVER, I do prefer someone who can hold an intelligent conversation. Not just xbox, movies and s*x.
What qualifies as intelligent conversation?? Talking about your education??
Thank you lacroyx.
Poncho- no, not about my education. It's about being able to SPEAK intelligently, your response and the conversation flow.
I was just being sarcastic with the recent arguments on here
okidoki
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I'm a poser... I always bring "The theory of almost everything" (about the "Standard Model") on first dates and casually drop it on the table as I am taking a seat.0
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I don't care about higher degrees, as long as a man can express himself well, talk about interesting things and show that he is interested in the world and learning - someone who wants to see the world and continually know more about science, nature and history and isn't satisfied with just doing the same old thing day in, day out without ever using his brain. An advanced degree, to me, is merely a means to an end (a specific career path) and not a measure of intelligence.
I agree wholeheartedly with both elements of this. I'm more interested in finding someone with an active, curious mind, who can conduct a wide-ranging, dynamic conversation, and seeks to augment his understanding of the world around him, than I am worried about whether or not he has an advanced degree/s, which are often a means to an end, rather than an indication of intellectual ability, as you say.
I also laughed in recognition at the post where the "I don't watch TV/mainstream movies/read fiction" thing was mentioned - I know (or knew) a lot of boys like that. Most of them eventually grow out of taking themselves so seriously, but the pose is both irritating and dull while it lasts... (Oddly, I don't think I've met more than one or two girls who do/did this.) In any case, of those who claimed this, the very few for whom it actually was true rather than a temporary persona brought on by reading too much philosophy of the self-important variety, were very interesting to talk to, though often not the easiest conversationalists. :laugh:0 -
Wait, but I thought we agread I are intellergent? :sad:0
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I read a Charles ****ens book. . . On purpose! . Does that qualify me?0
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I read a Charles ****ens book. . . On purpose! . Does that qualify me?
LOL. . thanks MFP!.. . For all you uneducated nitwits reading this thread, that last name is an anagram for Dcikens. . :00 -
I read a Charles ****ens book. . . On purpose! . Does that qualify me?
LOL. . thanks MFP!.. . For all you uneducated nitwits reading this thread, that last name is an anagram for Dcikens. . :0
:laugh:
I might need to try and read a Charles Dcickens book again. I hated reading them in Jr. High, they bored me to tears.0 -
Oh for god's sake don't bother with ****ens. Half of what we call "classic literature" is truly not all that engaging or interesting...unless you are really motivated or an English major (me). I have plenty of books and authors I absolutely refuse to read!0
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I'm really not turned on by the piece of paper, but by the man's drive. What has he done in his life. Has he continued to move forward and is he continuing to do so? Can we have a wide range of conversations? I don't want deep conversations all the time, but I'd like him to be able to navigate a dinner party without looking like a fool. 0
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I don't care about higher degrees, as long as a man can express himself well, talk about interesting things and show that he is interested in the world and learning - someone who wants to see the world and continually know more about science, nature and history and isn't satisfied with just doing the same old thing day in, day out without ever using his brain. An advanced degree, to me, is merely a means to an end (a specific career path) and not a measure of intelligence.
So true! I just want a man who will say, "Christine, did you read that awesome article in the paper? What did you think?" or "Let's watch this documentary about the Holocaust" or whatever. Not mindless, you know?0 -
Oh for god's sake don't bother with ****ens. Half of what we call "classic literature" is truly not all that engaging or interesting...unless you are really motivated or an English major (me). I have plenty of books and authors I absolutely refuse to read!
FYI Christmas Carol is my most hated Christmas tale. I think it is morbid and scary, don't know why they tell it to kids much less have a Disney cartoon for it.0
