"nice guys"

christine24t

This site is funny! The Nice Guys of OkCupid!

http://niceguysofokc.tumblr.com/

TheKitsune6

I might be a party pooper but that mostly just made me sad

EDIT: To clarify before anyone calls me a hypocrite. I think the "nice guy" complex is real and annoying... but this isn't discussing or confronting anything... it's bullying. It's like the difference between telling a friend that you are concerned for their health, or pointing at the kid walking down the hallway and screaming "fatass" at them.

flimflamfloz

I understand the owner of the blog likes girls with hairy legs.

EDIT: I agree with the edit above too.

christine24t

I might be a party pooper but that mostly just made me sad

I kind of understand.

I think that a lot of these guys need to read up on the "nice guy" and realize that they're actually not being very nice when they call themselves that.

I know a guy just like this and I wish someone would tell him that he actually looks like a jerk when he says stuff like that.

TheKitsune6

I know a guy just like this and I wish someone would tell him that he actually looks like a jerk when he says stuff like that.

Why don't you?

christine24t

I know a guy just like this and I wish someone would tell him that he actually looks like a jerk when he says stuff like that.

Why don't you?

I don't know him that well anymore. He posted this rant one time on Facebook about it.

"I hear sooooooo many girls complaining nowadays about how they cannot find a good guy. Well, maybe if you stop dating the losers who treat other people like crap, maybe you will find a good guy. We are around. You just have to look away from your normal dating pool. Look for the intelligent, nice guys who are always there for you when you need them. Oh wait, you do know where they are! You just deemed yourself too good for them and placed them in the "Friends" zone! Funny how fate has a way of paying us good guys back by making you realize that you are unhappy without us there to help because we have grown tired of your games."

TheKitsune6

I know a guy just like this and I wish someone would tell him that he actually looks like a jerk when he says stuff like that.

Why don't you?

I don't know him that well anymore. He posted this rant one time on Facebook about it.

"I hear sooooooo many girls complaining nowadays about how they cannot find a good guy. Well, maybe if you stop dating the losers who treat other people like crap, maybe you will find a good guy. We are around. You just have to look away from your normal dating pool. Look for the intelligent, nice guys who are always there for you when you need them. Oh wait, you do know where they are! You just deemed yourself too good for them and placed them in the "Friends" zone! Funny how fate has a way of paying us good guys back by making you realize that you are unhappy without us there to help because we have grown tired of your games."

Even better, then you have nothing to lose.

dbrightwell1270

Einstein said that the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again and expect the result to change. I think both the girl who complains about a lack of nice guys and the so-called nice guy should probably both consider what they are doing.

christine24t

I might be a party pooper but that mostly just made me sad

EDIT: To clarify before anyone calls me a hypocrite. I think the "nice guy" complex is real and annoying... but this isn't discussing or confronting anything... it's bullying. It's like the difference between telling a friend that you are concerned for their health, or pointing at the kid walking down the hallway and screaming "fatass" at them.

I just read your edit and to think about it this way it is kinda sad.

TheKitsune6

Einstein said that the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again and expect the result to change. I think both the girl who complains about a lack of nice guys and the so-called nice guy should probably both consider what they are doing.

EX-****ING-ACTLY

shammxo

Nice guys don't have to say that they're nice guys

If you have to point it out... Then you're a *kitten*.

ETA: I realize that this was the point.

meshashesha2012

:laugh: so true. guys who call themselves nice tend to be first class jerks.

and for the record i've never complained about a lack of nice guys. i dont want nice, i'd eat nice up and spit it out.

will010574

I didnt go to the link and check it out....For the record, I am an *kitten*. That by the way is fair warning!

Nerdy_Rose

Nobody like a doormat.

Also this: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/

meshashesha2012

i'd find it sad if "nice" guys weren't a type of bully themselves. these are the guys who are usually secretly misogynists, so eff em :grumble:

christine24t

i'd find it sad if "nice" guys weren't a type of bully themselves. these are the guys who are usually secretly misogynists, so eff em :grumble:

That is a good point as well.

christine24t

Nobody like a doormat.

Also this: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/

I love Cracked! Thanks for sharing!

meshashesha2012

these guys remind me of the type of guy who those PUA books are created for.

for the most part they are only interested in a certain type of woman, mainly 10's, and believe that they are somehow OWED those women. they confuse their lack of success with the 10's they go after (women who have TONS of options) as indicative of their possibilities with ALL women. not saying that us average looking gals would be happy to snatch these guys up either, but they'd have a better chances if they concentrated their efforts on women who were more suitable.

it's like someone with average grades applying to 5 ivy league schools getting turned down and them complaining about not being college material or how colleges dont want them.



PS some of hose nice guys grow up to be like THIS guy, minus the guns but a lot of the bitterness
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/04/bridgeville-gym-shooting-_n_251411.html

flimflamfloz

Nobody like a doormat.

Also this: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/

Nice guys are indeed proper piece of sh!ts... Look at what they do.
Extracts:

*Intentionally Interpreting Any Criticism as an Insult
"Who is he to call me lazy and worthless! A good person would never talk to me like this! He wrote this whole thing just to feel superior to me and to make me feel bad about my life! I'm going to think up my own insult to even the score!"

*Focusing on the Messenger to Avoid Hearing the Message
"Who is THIS guy to tell ME how to live? Oh, like he's so high and mighty! It's just some dumb writer on the Internet! I'm going to go dig up something on him that reassures me that he's stupid, and that everything he's saying is stupid! This guy is so pretentious, it makes me puke! I watched his old rap video on YouTube and thought his rhymes sucked!"

*Focusing on the Tone to Avoid Hearing the Content
"I'm going to dig through here until I find a joke that is offensive when taken out of context, and then talk and think only about that! I've heard that a single offensive word can render an entire book invisible!"

*Pretending That Any Self-Improvement Would Somehow Be Selling Out Your True Self
"Oh, so I guess I'm supposed to get rid of all of my manga and instead go to the gym for six hours a day and get a spray tan like those Jersey Shore *kitten*? Because THAT IS THE ONLY OTHER OPTION."


Anyway... I'm out!

RosscoBoscko

Got to say some of the comments on here about doormats and chewing up nice guys and spitting them out are a bit insulting.

Many of my female friends describe me as a really nice guy, and although I am of the opinion that nice guys come last, in my case anyway its always been my experience, the actual definition of nice, is good natured, kind, polite, having sensitive discernment. Now I'm quite proud that people see me as having some or all of those characteristics, and i'm not going to change from being like that to get myself in a relationship or a fling, by being arrogant, rude or insensitive

If you are intentionally looking for people who dont exhibit those nice characteristics but do exhibit the others then you have to consider whether you are the one with the flaw emotionally or mentally.

I have a number of female friends who will turn to me for emotional support or to just listen to them offload, one of whom is my ex (a slightly odd situation), but I appreciate the fact that they do, although in the case of the obvious one of these, and in the past with others, I would rather they saw me as more, but I will not change to be colder etc towards them in order to win them over to me, it doesnt make sense. I am who I am, i will always be genuine, and don't have any wish to treat someone negatively to win them over, thats paradoxical. i'm not saying i dont have strong opinions, or am not sarcastic or won;t banter with people but i wouldnt put them down for the sake of it.

Now some others may happily describe themselves as an a**hole etc, and tha'ts their prerogative but I would never be proud of that. If I go through my life single but valued as someone who will be there when needed then so be it. I'd rather be that then in a relationship based on not being true to myself or treating the other person badly to keep them interested.

MikeM53082

I always find it funny when people complain about the opposite sex. At least once a week, one of my Facebook friends complain about the opposite sex. I've seen girls complain about how guys are jerks to them, don't pay attention to them, etc etc. Likewise, I've seen guys go on the typical "nice guy" rant from time to time. It's more entertaining than anything, so I hope they keep it up.

Personally, my problem has always been that I've been somewhat of a jerk to women I'm not interested and too nice to the women I'm truly interested in. The results are not good. I really need to do the complete opposite.

MikeM53082

Maybe the nice guy situation is analogous to the "creepy guy" scenario that is played out so often. I've heard this from many girls, that if a guy they *aren't* attracted to starts hitting on them, it's considered creepy. If a guy they *are* attracted to starts hitting on them, it's considered a good thing. Both guys could say the identical same thing, the only variable is the man himself.

I'd like to see if Mr. Perfect (good looking, successful, etc) starts pulling the "nice guy" routine.. would the girl still be so repulsed?

jenbit

I'm truely not into nice guys. Quite frankly I'm not the nicest person in the world.Don't get me wrong I can do nice things for people but I'm to snarky, opinionated and blunt to be truely nice. I need a guy with a bit of @$$hole in him. Most of my guy friends are like that. Plus I find that many a "nice guy" has no spine.

Ross we dont mean actual nice guys are jerks we are talking about the guys who want to play the nice guy card. The well be friends and then one day she will look up and realize I'm awesome card which BTW never works.

will010574

Nobody like a doormat.

Also this: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/

I liked that link....I get very frustrated with people in my life that whine incessantly but take no action to change it or fix it, rather they comfort themselves with excuses.

MikeM53082

PS some of hose nice guys grow up to be like THIS guy, minus the guns but a lot of the bitterness
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/04/bridgeville-gym-shooting-_n_251411.html

I highly doubt this guy who shot up the LA Fitness was a nice guy. I doubt Ross or any of the other nice guys on here are planning a killing spree. This fella had serious mental problems.

RosscoBoscko

Haha cheers for the vote of confidence Mike!!!

No i have no plans to shoot anyone just to clarify. Have read the cracked article and see more now what the type of person people were getting at is, but by definition that type of person to me isn't nice, they're self important, self centred and expect the world to do things for them.

Am not saying won't have a dig (verbal) at a friend, male or female etc where required, am quite a truthful person and will say what I think, just dont think there's anything wrong with inner core nice values. but maybe am wrong. Experience would probably say so on a relationship if not friend front. And regarding the waiting for them to realise your awesome comment earlier. With my ex it would be nice if she did but not why I'm friends with her, I would never have a friendship based solely on that, no point, no honesty and would only lead to disappointment.

dbrightwell1270

I think it's funny that for all the complaining by women that there aren't any nice guys out there, that another group of women are complaining that men who claim to be nice guys are actually even bigger jerks and bullies but they are in disguise. A few observations I've had:

1) I think there are so-called nice guys who are really anything but.

2) Most true nice guys will probably call themselves a nice guy because they hear it from women quite often. "You are such a nice guy."

3) From my time working in bars, I always thought it was ironic that women would come up to me to complain about all the jerks out there and how they couldn't find a nice guy. Most of these women wanted action or adventure and were attracted to the flamboyant guys. As a bouncer, I could sum most of these guys up as a potential problem as they walked to the door of the bar.

4) Some of the guys who called themselves nice were timid but any time around them made it obvious they lacked impulse control, were not patient, and couldn't manage and/or communicate frustration in a healthy manner.

5) there were several really nice guys in the bar who could stand up for themselves and were not doormats. The problem with a lot of these guys was that they were not the dominant alpha male type. They wouldn't approach women in the bar because they felt that the women didn't want to be approached. These guys were well aware (or had the impression) that bars are meat markets and that women got hit on left and right. The general assumption was that women would prefer to be left alone than to have another guy harrassing them.

lacroyx

2) Most true nice guys will probably call themselves a nice guy because they hear it from women quite often. "You are such a nice guy."

I don't call myself a nice guy but I hear it from female friends frequently. Never when I was nearly 500 or even 400's, but now in my lower 300's.
"Oh you're so nice and looking good too! It's only a matter of time before some lucky girl picks you up!" That along with being motivational to them in terms fitness and weight loss.

Carl01

I think it is unfortunate that undesirable and unlikeable behavior has corrupted the word "nice" which means just the opposite.
In doing so now the opposite of the true intention of what nice should be is seen by some guys as desirable to an extent.

RosscoBoscko

I'd say I fall into categories 2 & 5 personally. and just to clarify i don't use the nice guy tag as a badge i'm proud of etc its the characteristics it represents like i've said that are important to me, not the tag. couldn't care less about that

poncho33

I think they said it best in 40 year old virgin, when the one guy said: "You're putting the ***** up on a pedestal."

There is a distinct difference between a nice person and an *kitten* kisser or worshiper. I don't think any girl would be turned off by a nice dude that lives an adventurous life or has other great attributes to add with being nice.