They call me Mr. Advice.
Replies
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havent read all the responses but the 20 year old is acting like a punk. he needs to man up and tell her that he'd prefer her not being FWB with other people. he obviously has no problem with her being "easy" so long as it's just with him.
i'd say say he doesnt deserve her until he balls drop enough that he can be honest with HER about it instead of talking about it with tom,**** and mike.0 -
To me, it is just about difference of treatment.
People (by definition) are trying to do as little as possible to reach their goal. You are either like that too or you are an idiot (yes, I mean it).
Your have worked your @ss off for a $10,000 bonus this year. Yes, you stayed every night until 8pm (instead of leaving at 6pm every day), you also spent your weekends in the office to finish presentations that you had to deliver and you have consistently been considered a high achiever in your company - receiving regular praise from your colleagues. You've been a good boy.
Then you hear that your colleague who's never done anything for it (i.e. worked normal shifts, was consistently late - even absent - and was doing as little as possible to stay in the business... barely enough to not be fired!) actually gets a $20,000 bonus.
Feeling a little gutted? Like you've been screwed deep? Probably not, because now you're trying to convince you that you're a better person overall because you at least have been working hard. (Yeah... Like anyone cares! I'm laughing at your face. :laugh: )
Anyway...
The point is when you're 20 year old and thinking about sex an awful lot, yes you will feel a little gutted. You feel like you've been used. You feel that you've been working harder than you should have, and you realise that you could actually have done far less for the same end result. My guess would be that he won't be doing it again... Tell him all men make this realisation at some point in their life. I think that unfortunately he has been a proper "Nice Guy (tm)" (yes, we know that it's not all nice either).
Yes he should stop watching romantic comedies (and he should stop putting women on a pedestal).0 -
It sounds like you 100% made up your mind on the advice to give your friend, so there's no reason to ask us.0
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Here's my take on it...
Sophia had a FWB relationship last year. Perhaps it was because she didn't have the time to put into a committed relationship, yet she knew she had needs to fulfill. Instead of pursuing an emotional attachment, she pursued a physical attachment. Nothing wrong with this as many of us have stated in other posts. Her reasons could have been completely sound (full course load, emotional issues, etc). We don't know her story, but whatever the situation, she has not decided that she is romantically interested in Matt. And, THAT is what is important now.
Matt is now providing for her emotional needs as he should in a boyfriend situation. He's also providing in several financial areas (tickets, dinners, etc). Is he doing this because she demands this or because he wants to do this? Perhaps he needs to reevaluate this part of the relationship. I've had men buy me things because they were raised to show love in materialistic ways. This is something that needs to be addressed early on or there will be resentment.
Now, back to you Mike. I would say that your advice was something of a double standard. You have posted many times that you prefer FWB vs relationships with women. Say that in the future a woman you are interested in finds out about one of your FWBs. Should she automatically dismiss you because you were easy in the past? Perhaps you should take a long hard look in the mirror before handing out your advice...0 -
To me, it is just about difference of treatment.
People (by definition) are trying to do as little as possible to reach their goal. You are either like that too or you are an idiot (yes, I mean it).
Your have worked your @ss off for a $10,000 bonus this year. Yes, you stayed every night until 8pm (instead of leaving at 6pm every day), you also spent your weekends in the office to finish presentations that you had to deliver and you have consistently been considered a high achiever in your company - receiving regular praise from your colleagues. You've been a good boy.
Then you hear that your colleague who's never done anything for it (i.e. worked normal shifts, was consistently late - even absent - and was doing as little as possible to stay in the business... barely enough to not be fired!) actually gets a $20,000 bonus.
Feeling a little gutted? Like you've been screwed deep? Probably not, because now you're trying to convince you that you're a better person overall because you at least have been working hard. (Yeah... Like anyone cares! I'm laughing at your face. :laugh: )
Anyway...
The point is when you're 20 year old and thinking about sex an awful lot, yes you will feel a little gutted. You feel like you've been used. You feel that you've been working harder than you should have, and you realise that you could actually have done far less for the same end result. My guess would be that he won't be doing it again... Tell him all men make this realisation at some point in their life. I think that unfortunately he has been a proper "Nice Guy (tm)" (yes, we know that it's not all nice either).
Yes he should stop watching romantic comedies (and he should stop putting women on a pedestal).
I have issues with your comparison. You are saying that a FWB situation is worth MORE than a relationship. This may be true for some people, but not for someone who actually wants a relationship. If you actually want a relationship the comparison would be more like getting pissy because you worked hard for an extra 10k bonus, but your co worker is still getting his normal paycheck and the usual Christmas bonus. Relationships are about more than sex, they're an emotional bond that doesn't have a measurable reward. It's the same reason there are people who sell sex, but not emotions.0 -
Now, back to you Mike. I would say that your advice was something of a double standard. You have posted many times that you prefer FWB vs relationships with women. Say that in the future a woman you are interested in finds out about one of your FWBs. Should she automatically dismiss you because you were easy in the past? Perhaps you should take a long hard look in the mirror before handing out your advice...
This is not a double standard at all. My advice was that if he feels that uncomfortable with her sexual past, to break up with her. If a women feels uncomfortable with my sexual past and decides she doesn't see a future with me because of it.. she shouldn't date me. She deserves someone who'd be more right for her.
For me personally, I could care less if a women I was dating had a few FWB in her past. It doesn't bother me one bit.0 -
To me, it is just about difference of treatment.
People (by definition) are trying to do as little as possible to reach their goal. You are either like that too or you are an idiot (yes, I mean it).
Your have worked your @ss off for a $10,000 bonus this year. Yes, you stayed every night until 8pm (instead of leaving at 6pm every day), you also spent your weekends in the office to finish presentations that you had to deliver and you have consistently been considered a high achiever in your company - receiving regular praise from your colleagues. You've been a good boy.
Then you hear that your colleague who's never done anything for it (i.e. worked normal shifts, was consistently late - even absent - and was doing as little as possible to stay in the business... barely enough to not be fired!) actually gets a $20,000 bonus.
Feeling a little gutted? Like you've been screwed deep? Probably not, because now you're trying to convince you that you're a better person overall because you at least have been working hard. (Yeah... Like anyone cares! I'm laughing at your face. :laugh: )
Anyway...
The point is when you're 20 year old and thinking about sex an awful lot, yes you will feel a little gutted. You feel like you've been used. You feel that you've been working harder than you should have, and you realise that you could actually have done far less for the same end result. My guess would be that he won't be doing it again... Tell him all men make this realisation at some point in their life. I think that unfortunately he has been a proper "Nice Guy (tm)" (yes, we know that it's not all nice either).
Yes he should stop watching romantic comedies (and he should stop putting women on a pedestal).
This is very accurate analogy. Well played.0 -
why did I think his name was Brad? haha
If Matt think she is a slut or was a slut or has slutty tendencies then he should break up with her...because I wouldn't want a guy thinking I was a slut. I would want a guy to have a positive view of me, not think of my behavior frequently, even if he does genuinely like certain things about me. Like I said, she deserves a guy who doesn't care about it and Matt deserves a girl who fits him and his personality (clearly Sophia isn't it).0 -
That's why it's no good to go in detail about ones past.
He's 20 and sounds inexperienced. At that age, I might have thought the same. But now? Completely different. I expect that the guy I'm dating had sex before me, whether 1 night stands, FWB, gf, whatever. Will I ask about it? Hell no. I really don't care nor want to know.0 -
This is very accurate analogy. Well played.
No, it's not. Opposite.0 -
Perhaps they should STOP calling you Mr. Advice. Seriously. Do this girl a favor and tell her her boyfriend is a sexist douche with standards that I'm sure he does not follow for himself so she can go find somebody worth her time.0
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Do I think she is easy, obviously not (hello I would be a huge hypocrite) But her BF obviously thinks she is easy and that not good. Bottom line it's time to cut rope and sail on.
Probably the BF wasn't sure what he should think. Which is why he asked his friends.
And then the hypocrite patrol jumped in to convince him she's a slut, and now it's over.
--P0 -
Yes it is. Opposite.
No, it's not. Opposite.This is very accurate analogy. Well played.
I won't explain why since we (apparently) don't need to explain anything and can just say something is true for it to be true.
And no, your previous post explains nothing. You are just saying (in your own words):
"This may be true for some people, but not for someone who actually wants a relationship."
Thus the analogy is true for some people, and I specifically believe it is (to an extent) for this particular 20 years old guy (you have the right to believe it isn't, though!).
To add on this, I don't know the guy personally so I can only assume...0 -
Interesting conversation happened last night. I went to my friend's house and ended up having a good talk with his younger brother, Matt. Matt is 20 years old, sophomore in college, and has been dating his current girlfriend, Sophia, for the past 5 months.
Naturally, I asked him how things are going with her. Matt said they have a great time together, but he can't get over one thing in Sophia's past. She use to be FWB with another guy last year. He feels like a sucker because he takes her out for dinner, buys her flowers, has taken her to concerts, and is Mr. White Knight to her. Meanwhile, when she was FWB with the other guy, she would just crash at his apartment and have sex with him every so often. He said he felt that he's giving so much to this girl and he's a bit appalled that she use to sleep with this other guy when he never really had to work for it. Even though Matt does enjoy spending time with her, he feels that she's kind of slutty for doing the FWB thing.
I told him if he isn't comfortable with Sophia's sexual history, to dump her. I told him he has a bunch of options and he doesn't deserve to be with a easy girl like Sophia. I really hope he breaks up with her, no guy deserves that.
Question to men and women out there, what would you have told Matt in this situation?
So has he dated every girl he's slept with?? WTF talk about double standards.
Whatever if he wants to be close minded and believe she is a slut for sleeping with one other man who wasn't willing to actually date her (as most men don't seem to want to do now days..) people have desires and sometimes they just want to have relief. Don't ask about another persons sexual past. My advice is enjoy her if he enjoys her now and take it one day at a time. If not go find a virgin.0 -
Someone's past doesn't predict the way they should be treated in the present.
You don't think past actions are any indication of future behavior? (in general)
In some ways, but FWB isn't one of them. I agree with Jen, Sophia shouldn't have told him about her ex-lovers and Matt had no business getting his jockies in a knot about her past decisions. You act like her having a "relationship" is the same as a past gambling addiction, drug addiction or physcological disorders...0 -
Now, back to you Mike. I would say that your advice was something of a double standard. You have posted many times that you prefer FWB vs relationships with women. Say that in the future a woman you are interested in finds out about one of your FWBs. Should she automatically dismiss you because you were easy in the past? Perhaps you should take a long hard look in the mirror before handing out your advice...
This is not a double standard at all. My advice was that if he feels that uncomfortable with her sexual past, to break up with her. If a women feels uncomfortable with my sexual past and decides she doesn't see a future with me because of it.. she shouldn't date me. She deserves someone who'd be more right for her.
For me personally, I could care less if a women I was dating had a few FWB in her past. It doesn't bother me one bit.
It is a double standard. In your first post you said that the girl was easy and that Matt didn't deserve that.
Sexual pasts should not be discussed for this reason alone. But, now that it was he came to someone he thought would help him. Unfortunately, instead of telling him that there are all kinds of different relationships and pointing out that *maybe* Sophia might be interested in for a real relationship, you told him she was easy and undeserving of his love. Great advice.0 -
Do I think she is easy, obviously not (hello I would be a huge hypocrite) But her BF obviously thinks she is easy and that not good. Bottom line it's time to cut rope and sail on.
Probably the BF wasn't sure what he should think. Which is why he asked his friends.
And then the hypocrite patrol jumped in to convince him she's a slut, and now it's over.
--P
Exactly what P said. He's a 20 year old man that's in his first real relationship. He's never had to deal with the emotions that come along with falling for a woman, he's never had to worry about what to think of a woman's past. When he asks someone he trusts that has walked in his shoes, he gets affirmation of what he thought instead of sound advice.0 -
I think Sophia needs to dump Matt and knock his *kitten* off that white horse. Everyone comes with a past - grow up and deal with it. She is not slutty or easy for having FWB. I'm sure there are things in Matt's past that Sophia might not like, but she isn't judging him for it.
I would understand Matt being uncomfortable if she was a serial cheater or had sex with a different guy every day of the week, but we are talking ONE FWB. Are you telling me Matt would be totally FINE with her past if she dated FWB as opposed to him just being a FB?
Obviously Matt ha never ever had a FB and maybe he needs to experience that in his young life. Sounds like he is looking for the all perfect virgin woman with no past.
He should want to buy her things because he WANTS to, not because there is a sex reward when he purchases her things. Now, if she only puts out when he buys her things, then he might have a case for dumping her.
They are young, but Sophia deserves better IMO. She needs to find someone that will love her for the person she is NOW, not judge her for the things that happened in her past.0 -
Yes it is. Opposite.
No, it's not. Opposite.This is very accurate analogy. Well played.
I won't explain why since we (apparently) don't need to explain anything and can just say something is true for it to be true.
And no, your previous post explains nothing. You are just saying (in your own words):
"This may be true for some people, but not for someone who actually wants a relationship."
Thus the analogy is true for some people, and I specifically believe it is (to an extent) for this particular 20 years old guy (you have the right to believe it isn't, though!).
To add on this, I don't know the guy personally so I can only assume...
You can't just accuse me of not supplying reasoning when I did, just not in that particular post, but it's weird because in the same breath you admit that I did have an answer. Keep your stories straight.
As far as your response to what I did say, the reason my comparison is better than yours is because this guy isn't in a fwb situation. He clearly thinks that FWB is not something desirable, he is in a relationship and wants to be in one. The problem is that his perception is a bit wonky about adult interactions and how they function. I stead of giving grown up advice he was given *kitten* advice that perpetuates his stupid ideas about sex, and so your further answer is that he has a right to feel slighted because all he should want is sex for as little work as possible. Gooooooood job.0 -
In his mind, he put in a lot of time, effort, and money to get this girl to like him. And he was just doing what the movies have taught him to do. Be chivalrous, buy her flowers, etc etc. At 20 years of age, sex is the ultimate reward for guys.
He feels like a chump because he gave it his all. Whereas the last guy got sex without having to do anything (his words, not mine).
I didn't think of it at the time, but maybe Matt was just being the ever-so-hated Nice Guy..?
I think the Best advise for him is that He is NOT ready for a serious Relationship.
If he is buying a woman things to get her into bed then he should just hire a prostitute.
Or maybe he should learn from Her past and get himself a FWB if sex is all he wants (that is if he can manage to get himself a FWB).0 -
I told him he has a bunch of options and he doesn't deserve to be with a easy girl like Sophia. I really hope he breaks up with her, no guy deserves that.
So once a woman enters into a FWB situation she becomes "easy" and from what you're saying, ultimately tarnished and no guy deserves to be with her again?
Really?
I have to agree with this. Even as guys we do this. Not that we expect a woman to have to earn it.... but hey everyone has needs and if she found a guy that she was comfortable with in that regard and remained unattached then I feel like that's fine. It's becoming ever more popular in today's culture to be "seeing someone" when you're not seeing someone. No one likes to feel lonely.
Also, ultimate lesson here for Matt, don't ever delve into someone's sexual past. I realize it may come up in fun before anything is going on between two people as friends, but it is a nightmare to overcome later on if things develop. My philosophy is keep things as vague as possible, names and how long are probably fine, but further details will only result in comparisons being made and unhappy people. You can never judge someone for their past "crimes" , no one is perfect. I just find it easier to love blindly than to attempt to come to terms with my partners past.0 -
Or maybe he should learn from Her past and get himself a FWB if sex is all he wants (that is if he can manage to get himself a FWB).
For a guy, getting a FWB is much harder than getting a relationship. That is why most men put the FWB situation on a much higher pedestal than a serious relationship.
I've said it before and I'll say it again.. Men trade emotional support for physical intimacy. So, when Matt saw that Sophia traded physical intimacy and the FWB didn't need to provide any emotional support to her, it really made him question things. And if he was looking for a serious relationship with her, Sophia probably isn't the women for him. And, Matt doesn't sound like the right guy for Sophia.
This is NOT a black and white issue, even though a lot of people on here might think it is. After reading all the posts on here, I'm very happy I gave the advice to Matt that I did.0 -
Or maybe he should learn from Her past and get himself a FWB if sex is all he wants (that is if he can manage to get himself a FWB).
For a guy, getting a FWB is much harder than getting a relationship. That is why most men put the FWB situation on a much higher pedestal than a serious relationship.
I've said it before and I'll say it again.. Men trade emotional support for physical intimacy. So, when Matt saw that Sophia traded physical intimacy and the FWB didn't need to provide any emotional support to her, it really made him question things. And if he was looking for a serious relationship with her, Sophia probably isn't the women for him. And, Matt doesn't sound like the right guy for Sophia.
This is NOT a black and white issue, even though a lot of people on here might think it is. After reading all the posts on here, I'm very happy I gave the advice to Matt that I did.
Yes, getting an FWB is actually harder than getting a relationship for men. Why? There's less of a market for it. More women want relationships than FWBs. Also, if you take out the below average looking women who have had FWBs (much more common), it is a narrow market. Quite simply, there's just not a lot of average looking or better women who go the FWB route.
Most men don't do emotional support without physical intimacy. Some men get trapped in that vortex and that's not a good place to be. One of the things I've done well is not to get into a situation where I'm basically a female friend with male anatomy.
I'm not sure I would have given the exact same advice you did. I would have looked at some more angles than you did. I can see why you said what you said though.0 -
Or maybe he should learn from Her past and get himself a FWB if sex is all he wants (that is if he can manage to get himself a FWB).
For a guy, getting a FWB is much harder than getting a relationship. That is why most men put the FWB situation on a much higher pedestal than a serious relationship.
I've said it before and I'll say it again.. Men trade emotional support for physical intimacy. So, when Matt saw that Sophia traded physical intimacy and the FWB didn't need to provide any emotional support to her, it really made him question things. And if he was looking for a serious relationship with her, Sophia probably isn't the women for him. And, Matt doesn't sound like the right guy for Sophia.
This is NOT a black and white issue, even though a lot of people on here might think it is. After reading all the posts on here, I'm very happy I gave the advice to Matt that I did.
Its not black and white but if he can't accept her sexual history then he shouldn't be with her. Also like everyone has said I think this has alot to do with their relative youth and this being his first "grown-up" relationship0 -
Just so I don`t have to read back have we discovered yet if.
A) Matt and Sophia have yet to be intimate and if so how often and under what circumstances.
What Sophias expressed regards as of now to a non emotional but sexual only relationship is.
C Is Matt ready to become exclusive at this point because he is interested in her or does he just want sex?
D) If Sophias regard to sex is now based on a committed,exclusive relationship or marriage does Matt accept this or is he trying to get that to change.
E) Are they now in said committed,exclusive relationship and if so for how long?
F) Is Sophia ready for that but Matt is resisting or vice versa?
G) If Sophia has not altered her opinion on sex in regards to relationships and is not willing to couple in this regards with Matt then why is that and as a corollary,why keep seeing him?
H) If she has not changed her regards to no strings attached sex and has so far refused to view Matt in that desire then why is he beating his head against a wall of obvious futility?0 -
Just so I don`t have to read back have we discovered yet if.
A) Matt and Sophia have yet to be intimate and if so how often and under what circumstances. What Sophias expressed regards as of now to a non emotional but sexual only relationship is.
C Is Matt ready to become exclusive at this point because he is interested in her or does he just want sex?
D) If Sophias regard to sex is now based on a committed,exclusive relationship or marriage does Matt accept this or is he trying to get that to change.
E) Are they now in said committed,exclusive relationship and if so for how long?
F) Is Sophia ready for that but Matt is resisting or vice versa?
G) If Sophia has not altered her opinion on sex in regards to relationships and is not willing to couple in this regards with Matt then why is that and as a corollary,why keep seeing him?
H) If she has not changed her regards to no strings attached sex and has so far refused to view Matt in that desire then why is he beating his head against a wall of obvious futility?
Those are some good questions and unfortunately I don't have the answer. I'll try my best to answer the questions based on the conversation I had with Matt.
A) Matt and Sophia have slept together. I don't know how often, but it's likely regular. I think Sophia viewed her FWB as being fairly nonchalant. She didn't think too much of it.
C) Yes, Matt is ready to be exclusive with a women. He's not the sleep around and rack up the numbers type of guy.
D) No clue.
E) Yes, they are now in a committed relationship.
F) From the sounds of it, they are both ready for a serious relationship. Matt is having major second thoughts on it due to her sexual history.0 -
Just so I don`t have to read back have we discovered yet if.
A) Matt and Sophia have yet to be intimate and if so how often and under what circumstances. What Sophias expressed regards as of now to a non emotional but sexual only relationship is.
C Is Matt ready to become exclusive at this point because he is interested in her or does he just want sex?
D) If Sophias regard to sex is now based on a committed,exclusive relationship or marriage does Matt accept this or is he trying to get that to change.
E) Are they now in said committed,exclusive relationship and if so for how long?
F) Is Sophia ready for that but Matt is resisting or vice versa?
G) If Sophia has not altered her opinion on sex in regards to relationships and is not willing to couple in this regards with Matt then why is that and as a corollary,why keep seeing him?
H) If she has not changed her regards to no strings attached sex and has so far refused to view Matt in that desire then why is he beating his head against a wall of obvious futility?
Those are some good questions and unfortunately I don't have the answer. I'll try my best to answer the questions based on the conversation I had with Matt.
A) Matt and Sophia have slept together. I don't know how often, but it's likely regular. I think Sophia viewed her FWB as being fairly nonchalant. She didn't think too much of it.
C) Yes, Matt is ready to be exclusive with a women. He's not the sleep around and rack up the numbers type of guy.
D) No clue.
E) Yes, they are now in a committed relationship.
F) From the sounds of it, they are both ready for a serious relationship. Matt is having major second thoughts on it due to her sexual history.
Okay,given that little bit of detail I am not sure what his initial gripe was about unless he resents that at one time she did something without strings but now has decided it wasn`t satisfying and wants more.
That is fair enough on her part,people can change.
At that point my feelings with the information at hand is this...
He has a trust issue he will need to overcome,if he can`t then yeah...keep searching and good luck.
Life is going to likely be rather disappointing in a lot of areas so be ready for it and accept it as a consequence.
Maybe ask him now what he expects other ladies to think of his sexual history given he has "committed" to a relationship and been intimate but in actuality his commitment is with qualifiers.
Perhaps as a young person there is still time for him to reflect on things.0 -
Okay so I've taken some notes for my personal benefit. According to a lot of the men in this thread, to get the max benefit out of dating for the least amount of effort (which according to one poster is the way to go) I should:
1. Date them in their twenties (oooh man candy bonus)
2. Make them work hard (and spend a lot!) for my affections.
3. Give the impression that in the past every man I've been involved with has had to pay out the nose for my attention.
4. Rake in the candy (actually I prefer prime rib), flowers, fully paid dates to nice places, and high quality overnight accommodations.
God, no wonder I'm a failure at relationships, I've been doing it wrong all these decades! I think some of you guys just want to be taken advantage of! So be it. I wonder if I can get a man to pay for my gym membership and all the 2k/5k/10k entry fees I plan on shelling out this year? :laugh:0 -
Okay so I've taken some notes for my personal benefit. According to a lot of the men in this thread, to get the max benefit out of dating for the least amount of effort (which according to one poster is the way to go) I should:
1. Date them in their twenties (oooh man candy bonus)
2. Make them work hard (and spend a lot!) for my affections.
3. Give the impression that in the past every man I've been involved with has had to pay out the nose for my attention.
4. Rake in the candy (actually I prefer prime rib), flowers, fully paid dates to nice places, and high quality overnight accommodations.
God, no wonder I'm a failure at relationships, I've been doing it wrong all these decades! I think some of you guys just want to be taken advantage of! So be it. I wonder if I can get a man to pay for my gym membership and all the 2k/5k/10k entry fees I plan on shelling out this year? :laugh:
If I was a girl, I'd definitely follow point #2 and #3. Sometimes it might backfire and he might "meh, she just ain't worth it.", while other will say "she's making me work for it, but she's quality and deserves it."
However, you'll turn off all guys if you demand points #2 through #4 and then talk about past FWB's.0 -
Just so I don`t have to read back have we discovered yet if.
A) Matt and Sophia have yet to be intimate and if so how often and under what circumstances. What Sophias expressed regards as of now to a non emotional but sexual only relationship is.
C Is Matt ready to become exclusive at this point because he is interested in her or does he just want sex?
D) If Sophias regard to sex is now based on a committed,exclusive relationship or marriage does Matt accept this or is he trying to get that to change.
E) Are they now in said committed,exclusive relationship and if so for how long?
F) Is Sophia ready for that but Matt is resisting or vice versa?
G) If Sophia has not altered her opinion on sex in regards to relationships and is not willing to couple in this regards with Matt then why is that and as a corollary,why keep seeing him?
H) If she has not changed her regards to no strings attached sex and has so far refused to view Matt in that desire then why is he beating his head against a wall of obvious futility?
Those are some good questions and unfortunately I don't have the answer. I'll try my best to answer the questions based on the conversation I had with Matt.
A) Matt and Sophia have slept together. I don't know how often, but it's likely regular. I think Sophia viewed her FWB as being fairly nonchalant. She didn't think too much of it.
C) Yes, Matt is ready to be exclusive with a women. He's not the sleep around and rack up the numbers type of guy.
D) No clue.
E) Yes, they are now in a committed relationship.
F) From the sounds of it, they are both ready for a serious relationship. Matt is having major second thoughts on it due to her sexual history.
Okay,given that little bit of detail I am not sure what his initial gripe was about unless he resents that at one time she did something without strings but now has decided it wasn`t satisfying and wants more.
That is fair enough on her part,people can change.
At that point my feelings with the information at hand is this...
He has a trust issue he will need to overcome,if he can`t then yeah...keep searching and good luck.
Life is going to likely be rather disappointing in a lot of areas so be ready for it and accept it as a consequence.
Maybe ask him now what he expects other ladies to think of his sexual history given he has "committed" to a relationship and been intimate but in actuality his commitment is with qualifiers.
Perhaps as a young person there is still time for him to reflect on things.
Wait was she sleeping with ther FWB while dating your friend cause that kinda changes everything0
