They call me Mr. Advice.
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Just so I don`t have to read back have we discovered yet if.
A) Matt and Sophia have yet to be intimate and if so how often and under what circumstances.
What Sophias expressed regards as of now to a non emotional but sexual only relationship is.
C Is Matt ready to become exclusive at this point because he is interested in her or does he just want sex?
D) If Sophias regard to sex is now based on a committed,exclusive relationship or marriage does Matt accept this or is he trying to get that to change.
E) Are they now in said committed,exclusive relationship and if so for how long?
F) Is Sophia ready for that but Matt is resisting or vice versa?
G) If Sophia has not altered her opinion on sex in regards to relationships and is not willing to couple in this regards with Matt then why is that and as a corollary,why keep seeing him?
H) If she has not changed her regards to no strings attached sex and has so far refused to view Matt in that desire then why is he beating his head against a wall of obvious futility?
Those are some good questions and unfortunately I don't have the answer. I'll try my best to answer the questions based on the conversation I had with Matt.
A) Matt and Sophia have slept together. I don't know how often, but it's likely regular. I think Sophia viewed her FWB as being fairly nonchalant. She didn't think too much of it.
C) Yes, Matt is ready to be exclusive with a women. He's not the sleep around and rack up the numbers type of guy.
D) No clue.
E) Yes, they are now in a committed relationship.
F) From the sounds of it, they are both ready for a serious relationship. Matt is having major second thoughts on it due to her sexual history.
Okay,given that little bit of detail I am not sure what his initial gripe was about unless he resents that at one time she did something without strings but now has decided it wasn`t satisfying and wants more.
That is fair enough on her part,people can change.
At that point my feelings with the information at hand is this...
He has a trust issue he will need to overcome,if he can`t then yeah...keep searching and good luck.
Life is going to likely be rather disappointing in a lot of areas so be ready for it and accept it as a consequence.
Maybe ask him now what he expects other ladies to think of his sexual history given he has "committed" to a relationship and been intimate but in actuality his commitment is with qualifiers.
Perhaps as a young person there is still time for him to reflect on things.
Wait was she sleeping with ther FWB while dating your friend cause that kinda changes everything
Nope, she was done with the FWB when she met Matt.0 -
^^^ Ok then he totally doesn't have a leg to stand on.... He needs to get over it or break up0
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see, guys don't want to hear the 'casual' aspects of your sex life. i have been told this by sooo many males now....... it's quite interesting :-)
However, you'll turn off all guys if you demand points #2 through #4 and then talk about past FWB's.0 -
see, guys don't want to hear the 'casual' aspects of your sex life. i have been told this by sooo many males now....... it's quite interesting :-)
However, you'll turn off all guys if you demand points #2 through #4 and then talk about past FWB's.
This is why you dont tell and you don't ask questions you don't want answers to..ie how many lovers have you had. It's just a bad idea0 -
see, guys don't want to hear the 'casual' aspects of your sex life. i have been told this by sooo many males now....... it's quite interesting :-)
However, you'll turn off all guys if you demand points #2 through #4 and then talk about past FWB's.
That 's the moral of the story here.0 -
Gotcha. My past is a closed book. Written in illegible, tiny print. Thrown on a bonfire until turned to ash.
I really never have been a 'demanding girlfriend'. One of my exes said while I was dating him that I was 'no maintenance'. I wondered why he sounded kind of annoyed. I'm afraid I don't really 'get' the male psyche even though I grew up a tomboy.
Hey I just realized there is an added bonus to this plan: People like to believe they're getting what they paid for. So the harder I make him work and the more I make him spend, the more he's going to convince himself I look like a super model when I finally ditch my skivvies, right? It's like one of those fool the eye illusions! :laugh:0 -
I'm afraid I don't really 'get' the male psyche even though I grew up a tomboy.
Incredible. The male psyche is so much easier to understand than the female one.0 -
exactly!!
there was a guy on BB.com that posted about a girl he was seeing. she was ready for a committed relationship, he was dating like 3 other women at the same time. he posted his number was 146 people that he had slept with in the past 3 years. i was willing to bet if she knew that number she wouldn't have been dating him. LOL!!! he let her go because he wasn't interested in committing and she was. :-) but, that number thing (146, or whatever it was) made me go WOW!!!! hahahahaha
This is why you dont tell and you don't ask questions you don't want answers to..ie how many lovers have you had. It's just a bad idea0 -
I'm afraid I don't really 'get' the male psyche even though I grew up a tomboy.
Incredible. The male psyche is so much easier to understand than the female one.
I'm not sure I always 'get' my psyche, either! Sometimes I'm just in awe of the crazy things I do.0 -
i agree with this too.
Incredible. The male psyche is so much easier to understand than the female one.0 -
exactly!!
there was a guy on BB.com that posted about a girl he was seeing. she was ready for a committed relationship, he was dating like 3 other women at the same time. he posted his number was 146 people that he had slept with in the past 3 years. i was willing to bet if she knew that number she wouldn't have been dating him. LOL!!! he let her go because he wasn't interested in committing and she was. :-) but, that number thing (146, or whatever it was) made me go WOW!!!! hahahahaha
This is why you dont tell and you don't ask questions you don't want answers to..ie how many lovers have you had. It's just a bad idea
The number is probably exxagerated. That's a different girl every 7.5 days. If you consider some of the girls are going to be repeat performances, I'd have a hard time believing it. Finding that many women who are interested and trying to schedule the interludes would be almost a full time job. The guy would have to be in the top tiers in terms of looks to pull that off. Or he'd need a job where he met tons of women who wanted something he had - like being a photographer for a modeling agency.0 -
Agreed. That number is likely exaggerated. Unless they are meticulous note takers, most men lose count by 20-25.0
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I used to work with a guy who was up in those numbers. He was a bartender, good looking, charming, and always on the hunt. He pretty much got laid every night. I had my 'chance' at him and decided I didn't want to risk it. His numbers scared me. Not for reasons of morality (like I could give a ________ about that) just for reasons of safety.0
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see, guys don't want to hear the 'casual' aspects of your sex life. i have been told this by sooo many males now....... it's quite interesting :-)
However, you'll turn off all guys if you demand points #2 through #4 and then talk about past FWB's.
That 's the moral of the story here.
Not really because so far there is nothing you have said that indicated she demanded (key word "demand") those things while in some way proudly proclaiming she has no problem with no strings attached sex except with him.
If that is the case then yes,it does change the dynamic but so far has not been asserted.0 -
he wasn't much over 25 if i recall correctly. she was like 30, and he might have been 26 or 27. the thread is there if you wanna check ;-)
i personally don't care if he was exaggerating or not, my point was his number would have scared her more than likely. so, he was never honest with her. she dated him for like 8 mo, but they weren't exclusive and she assumed he met different women every weekend. even at that rate i DOUBT she could have come up with a triple digit number in her mind..... i know i wouldn't have.Agreed. That number is likely exaggerated. Unless they are meticulous note takers, most men lose count by 20-25.0 -
see, guys don't want to hear the 'casual' aspects of your sex life. i have been told this by sooo many males now....... it's quite interesting :-)
However, you'll turn off all guys if you demand points #2 through #4 and then talk about past FWB's.
That 's the moral of the story here.
Not really because so far there is nothing you have said that indicated she demanded (key word "demand") those things while in some way proudly proclaiming she has no problem with no strings attached sex except with him.
If that is the case then yes,it does change the dynamic but so far has not been asserted.
This is true as well. Being that we don't know the whole story she may not be putting herself in the best light with Matt. She might be making him feel inferior with some of her commentary regarding her FWB. If I were her I would have never brought it up and I certianly would never bring it up again0 -
The number is probably exxagerated. That's a different girl every 7.5 days. If you consider some of the girls are going to be repeat performances, I'd have a hard time believing it. Finding that many women who are interested and trying to schedule the interludes would be almost a full time job. The guy would have to be in the top tiers in terms of looks to pull that off. Or he'd need a job where he met tons of women who wanted something he had - like being a photographer for a modeling agency.
I like your style of analysis.
I wish I had been a photographer for a modeling agency. That seems like a career right up my alley.0 -
The number is probably exxagerated. That's a different girl every 7.5 days. If you consider some of the girls are going to be repeat performances, I'd have a hard time believing it. Finding that many women who are interested and trying to schedule the interludes would be almost a full time job. The guy would have to be in the top tiers in terms of looks to pull that off. Or he'd need a job where he met tons of women who wanted something he had - like being a photographer for a modeling agency.
I like your style of analysis.
I wish I had been a photographer for a modeling agency. That seems like a career right up my alley.
I actually know a girl whose total number is around that 127... However she is bi-sexual and went through a very "interesting phrase lol. That number includes males and females and she is not yet 30 ... And she wasn't a hooker either0 -
he wasn't much over 25 if i recall correctly. she was like 30, and he might have been 26 or 27. the thread is there if you wanna check ;-)
i personally don't care if he was exaggerating or not, my point was his number would have scared her more than likely. so, he was never honest with her. she dated him for like 8 mo, but they weren't exclusive and she assumed he met different women every weekend. even at that rate i DOUBT she could have come up with a triple digit number in her mind..... i know i wouldn't have.Agreed. That number is likely exaggerated. Unless they are meticulous note takers, most men lose count by 20-25.
I meant most guys lose track of who they've slept with by the time their # of sexual partners is over 20. Unless the guy is a note taker, how can he keep all those names straight.0 -
Now, back to you Mike. I would say that your advice was something of a double standard. You have posted many times that you prefer FWB vs relationships with women. Say that in the future a woman you are interested in finds out about one of your FWBs. Should she automatically dismiss you because you were easy in the past? Perhaps you should take a long hard look in the mirror before handing out your advice...
This is not a double standard at all. My advice was that if he feels that uncomfortable with her sexual past, to break up with her. If a women feels uncomfortable with my sexual past and decides she doesn't see a future with me because of it.. she shouldn't date me. She deserves someone who'd be more right for her.
For me personally, I could care less if a women I was dating had a few FWB in her past. It doesn't bother me one bit.
It is a double standard. In your first post you said that the girl was easy and that Matt didn't deserve that.
Sexual pasts should not be discussed for this reason alone. But, now that it was he came to someone he thought would help him. Unfortunately, instead of telling him that there are all kinds of different relationships and pointing out that *maybe* Sophia might be interested in for a real relationship, you told him she was easy and undeserving of his love. Great advice.
This. He definitely put a negative connotation on the 'easy' part, and then back-tracked later when he was called on it.Question to men and women out there, what would you have told Matt in this situation?
Don't go to Mike for advice on women or relationships..0 -
Question to men and women out there, what would you have told Matt in this situation?
Don't go to Mike for advice on women or relationships..
Shower us with your infinite wisdom, old wise one.
Seriously.0 -
Question to men and women out there, what would you have told Matt in this situation?
Don't go to Mike for advice on women or relationships..
LOL! But they call him Mr. Advice!
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Pay close attention to your partners actions now that you have entered their life but never dwell on your partners sexual past cuz nothing good will come from it. It oozes jealousy and insecurity. Not a good look.0
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The number is probably exxagerated. That's a different girl every 7.5 days. If you consider some of the girls are going to be repeat performances, I'd have a hard time believing it. Finding that many women who are interested and trying to schedule the interludes would be almost a full time job. The guy would have to be in the top tiers in terms of looks to pull that off. Or he'd need a job where he met tons of women who wanted something he had - like being a photographer for a modeling agency.
I like your style of analysis.
I wish I had been a photographer for a modeling agency. That seems like a career right up my alley.
I actually know a girl whose total number is around that 127... However she is bi-sexual and went through a very "interesting phrase lol. That number includes males and females and she is not yet 30 ... And she wasn't a hooker either
Holy crap. I don't want to judge but damn...0 -
ohhhhhhh. gotcha ;-)I meant most guys lose track of who they've slept with by the time their # of sexual partners is over 20. Unless the guy is a note taker, how can he keep all those names straight.0
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Perhaps they should STOP calling you Mr. Advice. Seriously.
Unless the first name is "Bad". Which seems to be the case. (courtesy of my friend, loled too much to not share).0 -
Question to men and women out there, what would you have told Matt in this situation?
Don't go to Mike for advice on women or relationships..
LOL! But they call him Mr. Advice!
His weekly column is syndicated nationally, and a huge hit with the male, 16-18 age demographic. His sponsors include Nintendo, Johnson and Johnson acne cream, and RedTube dot com.
--P0 -
Question to men and women out there, what would you have told Matt in this situation?
Don't go to Mike for advice on women or relationships..
LOL! But they call him Mr. Advice!
His weekly column is syndicated nationally, and a huge hit with the male, 16-18 age demographic. His sponsors include Nintendo, Johnson and Johnson acne cream, and RedTube dot com.
--P
That's low man, just low. Leave Nintendo out of this.0 -
Question to men and women out there, what would you have told Matt in this situation?
Don't go to Mike for advice on women or relationships..
LOL! But they call him Mr. Advice!
His weekly column is syndicated nationally, and a huge hit with the male, 16-18 age demographic. His sponsors include Nintendo, Johnson and Johnson acne cream, and RedTube dot com.
--P
That's low man, just low. Leave Nintendo out of this.
LOL you guys are fiesty today0 -
Question to men and women out there, what would you have told Matt in this situation?
Don't go to Mike for advice on women or relationships..
LOL! But they call him Mr. Advice!
His weekly column is syndicated nationally, and a huge hit with the male, 16-18 age demographic. His sponsors include Nintendo, Johnson and Johnson acne cream, and RedTube dot com.
--P
That's low man, just low. Leave Nintendo out of this.
I agree, Nintendo is baller!
I blame Halo. 0
