update on my (single peeps) new profile results
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i have myself as christian/lds and never drinks. and i have HIM as never drinks, or socially drinks and he can be any of the christian/ whatever :-)
do you think i should change it more than that??Like I said in the critique thread where we re-wrote Dana’s profile, I, too, want someone who doesn’t drink or smoke and who shares my VERY strict religious views. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/818767-since-people-have-offered?page=4
Unfortunately, this WILL eliminate most of the decent guys who could ask you out. When I did a search on “never drinks” on Match I got 7 guys who all looked like weirdos! When I did the next step up (I think it was “occasional or social) I got over 500 guys. So I opened up my criteria and met a wide variety of men, including a few who DON’T drink but DIDN’T say so in their profile because it would limit THEIR online dating matches.
A friend of mine kept her settings strict, got no dates. She *SAID* she’d rather have one date per year with someone who could be a real possibility than have all the dates I had that didn’t work out. But then she was always complaining that she never got asked out. I have a boyfriend. She doesn’t. Decide what’s most important and then go for it.
Switching your settings to loosen up drinking and LDS requirements does NOT mean you have to settle for a guy who drinks or doesn’t practice your faith. It just means you get more opportunities to go out on dates which will build up your confidence and put you closer to meeting that perfect LDS guy.0 -
I don't know about changing it, but you said earlier if they say they're LDS but also say they drink you won't give them a chance b/c they're not practicing.
What I'm saying is, ignore that for now. Online dating is game playing, and they may just be playing the game.0 -
oh i see what youre saying. i don't mind if they aren't LDS and they drink. i do mind if they say they are LDS and they drink......
a friend of mine met a guy online, they met had drinks, had sex that night and then casually dated for a couple months after that. eventually he moved in with her, but they never made things exclusive. well, after he moved in, she learned he was LDS! in essence he was living two lives. one was him being in the church and one was him NOT in the church. he still went and taught sunday school every single sunday, and still made other choices that were definitely living the gospel. but, the drinking, sex and living together was not.
she wasn't a member of the church when they met. she joined in nov. after she joined he broke up with her and moved out, because he knows that he was doing ( and she would have been doing too then) is considered wrong in the church.
i don't expect to date someone that is LDS, but if you say you are then i want you to be. not just by words but by choices and actions too. which is why i am not interested in a guy that says he is LDS, but drinks :-)0 -
i don't expect to date someone that is LDS, but if you say you are then i want you to be. not just by words but by choices and actions too. which is why i am not interested in a guy that says he is LDS, but drinks :-)
absolutely! But if that guy's been on Match for 4 months with no bites, he may have changed his settings slightly to get more dates. That's the only reason I'm saying give it a chance. I know that may feel like lying to you, and your initial take would be I don't want someone like that... but if you're already spent your money why not "play the game?"
And not only that... but many pentacostal guys "straighten up" when they get involved... perhaps LDS is the same?0 -
gotcha. i see what you're saying :-)0
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I have to agree with Janie here... as long as you've spent the money to be on Match, you should play the game. Why not change some of your restrictions on your profile? That would at least lead to more conversations with men to get you comfortable in the dating scene. It doesn't mean you have to meet all of them in person either. Otherwise, from everything you've written here, it just seems as though you are getting frustrated looking for a needle in a haystack that may or may not exist.0
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I have to agree with Janie here... as long as you've spent the money to be on Match, you should play the game. Why not change some of your restrictions on your profile? That would at least lead to more conversations with men to get you comfortable in the dating scene. It doesn't mean you have to meet all of them in person either. Otherwise, from everything you've written here, it just seems as though you are getting frustrated looking for a needle in a haystack that may or may not exist.
It's the old debate of sunk cost vs. playing out the string. I'd say that the OP should just play out the string and not renew when it comes time.
This is a part of how Match stays in business IMO. You get some singles who aren't getting enough action IRL and they want to cast their lots in a different venue. They'll try Match for 3 to 6 months, it won't work and they won't renew. I would venture to say that Match's individual Customer Lifetime Value is really low.0 -
I have to agree with Janie here... as long as you've spent the money to be on Match, you should play the game. Why not change some of your restrictions on your profile? That would at least lead to more conversations with men to get you comfortable in the dating scene. It doesn't mean you have to meet all of them in person either. Otherwise, from everything you've written here, it just seems as though you are getting frustrated looking for a needle in a haystack that may or may not exist.
It's the old debate of sunk cost vs. playing out the string. I'd say that the OP should just play out the string and not renew when it comes time.
This is a part of how Match stays in business IMO. You get some singles who aren't getting enough action IRL and they want to cast their lots in a different venue. They'll try Match for 3 to 6 months, it won't work and they won't renew. I would venture to say that Match's individual Customer Lifetime Value is really low.
Ahh it should be low, no one wants to be a lifetime match.com member.
edit because I misspelled no as now.0 -
I have to agree with Janie here... as long as you've spent the money to be on Match, you should play the game. Why not change some of your restrictions on your profile? That would at least lead to more conversations with men to get you comfortable in the dating scene. It doesn't mean you have to meet all of them in person either. Otherwise, from everything you've written here, it just seems as though you are getting frustrated looking for a needle in a haystack that may or may not exist.
It's the old debate of sunk cost vs. playing out the string. I'd say that the OP should just play out the string and not renew when it comes time.
This is a part of how Match stays in business IMO. You get some singles who aren't getting enough action IRL and they want to cast their lots in a different venue. They'll try Match for 3 to 6 months, it won't work and they won't renew. I would venture to say that Match's individual Customer Lifetime Value is really low.
Ahh it should be low, now one wants to be a lifetime match.com member.
That's true, but is it low for the right reason? Low because they found someone on Match, or low because they got frustrated with the experience of it. It is probably the latter more so than the former.0 -
I have to agree with Janie here... as long as you've spent the money to be on Match, you should play the game. Why not change some of your restrictions on your profile? That would at least lead to more conversations with men to get you comfortable in the dating scene. It doesn't mean you have to meet all of them in person either. Otherwise, from everything you've written here, it just seems as though you are getting frustrated looking for a needle in a haystack that may or may not exist.
It's the old debate of sunk cost vs. playing out the string. I'd say that the OP should just play out the string and not renew when it comes time.
This is a part of how Match stays in business IMO. You get some singles who aren't getting enough action IRL and they want to cast their lots in a different venue. They'll try Match for 3 to 6 months, it won't work and they won't renew. I would venture to say that Match's individual Customer Lifetime Value is really low.
Ahh it should be low, now one wants to be a lifetime match.com member.
That's true, but is it low for the right reason? Low because they found someone on Match, or low because they got frustrated with the experience of it. It is probably the latter more so than the former.
wild guess it is probably something about 35/65 in meet match/gave up ratio. I know a couple people that meet their husbands on it.0 -
I have to agree with Janie here... as long as you've spent the money to be on Match, you should play the game. Why not change some of your restrictions on your profile? That would at least lead to more conversations with men to get you comfortable in the dating scene. It doesn't mean you have to meet all of them in person either. Otherwise, from everything you've written here, it just seems as though you are getting frustrated looking for a needle in a haystack that may or may not exist.
It's the old debate of sunk cost vs. playing out the string. I'd say that the OP should just play out the string and not renew when it comes time.
This is a part of how Match stays in business IMO. You get some singles who aren't getting enough action IRL and they want to cast their lots in a different venue. They'll try Match for 3 to 6 months, it won't work and they won't renew. I would venture to say that Match's individual Customer Lifetime Value is really low.
Ahh it should be low, now one wants to be a lifetime match.com member.
That's true, but is it low for the right reason? Low because they found someone on Match, or low because they got frustrated with the experience of it. It is probably the latter more so than the former.
wild guess it is probably something about 35/65 in meet match/gave up ratio. I know a couple people that meet their husbands on it.
I'd call that wild guess wildly optimistic, but have no way to easily disprove it. Perhaps if I were so interested I could search around for some stats.
But even if you are correct, 65% of people who try the brand are dissatisfied. In mostly any other industry, that's a death knell. Imagine if 65% of people who tried a mid priced restaurant were unsatisfied. That place would close its door within 6 months.0 -
I have to agree with Janie here... as long as you've spent the money to be on Match, you should play the game. Why not change some of your restrictions on your profile? That would at least lead to more conversations with men to get you comfortable in the dating scene. It doesn't mean you have to meet all of them in person either. Otherwise, from everything you've written here, it just seems as though you are getting frustrated looking for a needle in a haystack that may or may not exist.
It's the old debate of sunk cost vs. playing out the string. I'd say that the OP should just play out the string and not renew when it comes time.
This is a part of how Match stays in business IMO. You get some singles who aren't getting enough action IRL and they want to cast their lots in a different venue. They'll try Match for 3 to 6 months, it won't work and they won't renew. I would venture to say that Match's individual Customer Lifetime Value is really low.
Ahh it should be low, now one wants to be a lifetime match.com member.
That's true, but is it low for the right reason? Low because they found someone on Match, or low because they got frustrated with the experience of it. It is probably the latter more so than the former.
wild guess it is probably something about 35/65 in meet match/gave up ratio. I know a couple people that meet their husbands on it.
I'd call that wild guess wildly optimistic, but have no way to easily disprove it. Perhaps if I were so interested I could search around for some stats.
But even if you are correct, 65% of people who try the brand are dissatisfied. In mostly any other industry, that's a death knell. Imagine if 65% of people who tried a mid priced restaurant were unsatisfied. That place would close its doors within 6 months.0 -
I have to agree with Janie here... as long as you've spent the money to be on Match, you should play the game. Why not change some of your restrictions on your profile? That would at least lead to more conversations with men to get you comfortable in the dating scene. It doesn't mean you have to meet all of them in person either. Otherwise, from everything you've written here, it just seems as though you are getting frustrated looking for a needle in a haystack that may or may not exist.
It's the old debate of sunk cost vs. playing out the string. I'd say that the OP should just play out the string and not renew when it comes time.
This is a part of how Match stays in business IMO. You get some singles who aren't getting enough action IRL and they want to cast their lots in a different venue. They'll try Match for 3 to 6 months, it won't work and they won't renew. I would venture to say that Match's individual Customer Lifetime Value is really low.
Ahh it should be low, now one wants to be a lifetime match.com member.
That's true, but is it low for the right reason? Low because they found someone on Match, or low because they got frustrated with the experience of it. It is probably the latter more so than the former.
wild guess it is probably something about 35/65 in meet match/gave up ratio. I know a couple people that meet their husbands on it.
I'd call that wild guess wildly optimistic, but have no way to easily disprove it. Perhaps if I were so interested I could search around for some stats.
But even if you are correct, 65% of people who try the brand are dissatisfied. In mostly any other industry, that's a death knell. Imagine if 65% of people who tried a mid priced restaurant were unsatisfied. That place would close its doors within 6 months.
The alternative isn't another mid priced restaurant. The alternatives in the case of match are other dating sites that most likely have similar outcomes or searching for someone through your normal channels. The suitability of matches through your normal interests may be better but I'd venture to say that the search cost is higher and that if most people had dozens of potential matches available through their social networks they wouldn't be on match any way.0 -
i guess my biggest fear about changing things too much is that i'm back to weeding through MORE guys that could be players... i'm hesitant as it is.
yes, i know it doesn't hurt, etc. but i'll talk to anyone and then i have to watch my Ps and Qs and give out my number only to find out that they want nakey pics or are looking for a FWB situation. we'll see........
i started talking to someone yesterday. turns out he's on here!! we've talked on the phone twice now and we texted most of today. so, we'll see :-)
as for the alternatives to match, etc. once i'm done here, i'm done here. no more online dating, at least for a good long while. i have my gyms as an avenue currently and maybe this summer i'll have another part time job somewhere that guys work too. we'll see.0 -
as for the alternatives to match, etc. once i'm done here, i'm done here. no more online dating, at least for a good long while. i have my gyms as an avenue currently and maybe this summer i'll have another part time job somewhere that guys work too. we'll see.
What a coincidence that you wrote this... I just read, in a book on interracial dating, a case study about a professional woman whose friends told her to find a man go take a part time job where the men are...at a hardware store!! She did and met her now husband. I never would have thought of taking a part time job just to be where it's your job to talk to random men, but what a great idea!!0 -
On my profile, it says I drink socially...when in truth I maybe have a drink once every couple of months. But
"never drinks" isn't true.
Just a thought! Because someone "socially" drinks doesn't mean they drink all the time.0 -
yeah, i am just trying to figure out what would be the BEST part time job with high male volume ;-)
my friend was teasing me about this christmas eve night. i felt horrid, but didn't want to just sit at home by myself so we went out to the festival of lights in DC. she thought it was so funny because i walked out of the women's room and struck up a conversation with a 21 year old boy. soon, i was surrounded by 9 20-21 year old boys, LOL!!!! and they were all shaking my hand and asking my name and where i live, asking us to take pics of them, etc...........
so a job where i can talk to guys about anything would be good, because i can talk about anything! :-)What a coincidence that you wrote this... I just read, in a book on interracial dating, a case study about a professional woman whose friends told her to find a man go take a part time job where the men are...at a hardware store!! She did and met her now husband. I never would have thought of taking a part time job just to be where it's your job to talk to random men, but what a great idea!!0 -
On my profile, it says I drink socially...when in truth I maybe have a drink once every couple of months. But
"never drinks" isn't true.
Just a thought! Because someone "socially" drinks doesn't mean they drink all the time.
Would you be able to date someone that drinks 2 or more times a week?? I believe your early 20's right?? I just know a lot of fellas drink a lot around that age.0 -
On my profile, it says I drink socially...when in truth I maybe have a drink once every couple of months. But
"never drinks" isn't true.
Just a thought! Because someone "socially" drinks doesn't mean they drink all the time.
Would you be able to date someone that drinks 2 or more times a week?? I believe your early 20's right?? I just know a lot of fellas drink a lot around that age.
Oh absolutely. It is more my environment that I don't drink a lot anymore. I got drunk the other weekend Friday and Saturday. I used to drink a lot in college. It's not morally repugnant to me whatsoever.0 -
yeah, i am just trying to figure out what would be the BEST part time job with high male volume ;-)
I would guess stripper and/or prostitute.0
