Christmas candy as a "calmer"

Runner2shed

So It's only been in the last couple years I realized I was a heavy emotional eater. And I thought I had gotten control of it.

I have recently gotten into a new relationship (only 6 months) and just yesterday got into a small fight. I realized I kept it small cause I didn't want to argue and have a big fight when the issues weren't really worth getting into a fight over.

But I also noticed that on my way home from work that same day, I picked up an entire lindt chocolate bear ate the entire thing in my car before going over to see my boyfriend because I knew it would make me feel better and forget about the fight before having to see him again. As I was doing it I realized how stupid it was.


Question to you all:

I need a new thing that is a "quick release/calmer" that doesn't involve sugary foods. Any suggestions?
(side note-the fight really was a small one, that wasn't worth really fighting over so talking it out would have been stupid and just led to tempers that were unnecessary, so i need something not "talk it out" related, if possible).

Thanks!

EccentricDad

If you honestly think that talking out your problems is "stupid" then you will always be an emotional eater. Can't push your feelings down by trying to soothe yourself with chocolate. Feelings win every time. If you can't be honest, vulnerable, and sensitive with your partner, then this is something that will never be solved. If you quit sugar, you'll just move to alcohol or cigarettes or both. Accept that your feelings are valid and don't let your partner discredit them as "stupid" and just tell your partner that even if they don't see eye to eye with you about your feelings, it would make you feel better getting it off your chest than have it fester and force you into an eating disorder.

Something worth looking at so you can understand why we need to allow ourselves to be vulnerable: Brene Brown's video about vulnerability on Ted Talks. http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

How do you overcome the sugar addiction though? You convince yourself that you don't deserve a reward until the conflict is resolved. The problem isn't the sugar. The problem is why you feel you deserve one without earning it.

Runner2shed

Thanks! Convincing of not deserving of a reward till the issue is resolved is probably the best plan. Now the hard part -implementaton.