Why surgery, answering people's questions

I am struggling with talking to people about my surgery lately. I know the procedure in and out, pre and post. But one questions is still leaving me at a loss of words." If you are able to loss weight before your surgery why don't you just keep doing Things and eating how you are now and lose the weight that way. Then you wouldn't need surgery." just need some support im pretty sure others have had to deal with this. Why do you guys deal with this.

Replies

  • AuntieLisa4
    AuntieLisa4 Posts: 74 Member
    Thats easy for me. Im tired of yo-yo dieting. a couple years ago i lost 102lbs, just with exercise and eating right. then the emotional eating came into play and i gained half of it back.
    Surgery as im sure youve heard is a tool, as is exercise. If it wasnt for this tool id probably be eating something really bad for me right now just because it tastes soooo damn good. instead im sitting here drinking new whey and some 100% fruit juice.

    i dont know if ive answered your question to your liking but this is my answer im tired of gaining it back. Yes with surgery i could gain it back But i have a better chance at keeping it off now with surgery than i did before.
  • I had tried other things and always gained it back. My mom asked me and still asks me the same question, why couldn't you have just made these changes on your own. It really upsets me. She still says it even after losing 75 lbs in 8 months. To me, it is a tool just like eating right and exercising. It isn't for everyone but only you can make that decision. The problem I had doing it on my own, is that I was always starving. Now I eat pretty normally but just a lot less. I don't regret my decision for a second. It was the right option for me. I don't know if I answered your question, but just stay strong. Only you know what is right for you. I got to a point where I don't discuss my surgery with anyone but my husband (and here on MFP). Only my immediate family and best friend know I had it. I feel it isn't anyone else's business, and this way I don't have have to answer questions from people who don't understand. Hang in there. If you need a friend, feel free to add me.
  • annwyatt69
    annwyatt69 Posts: 727 Member
    My reasoning and what I tell people was that I did this for the health benefits. The weight loss was the icing on the cake. Being a type I diabetic and having other issues, I have seen major improvement in all areas in just three months. Yes, I could lose weight without out, but there is a much better chance that I will stay healthy and keep the weight down since I had the surgery. It is the best thing I have done for myself.
  • anitadanafit
    anitadanafit Posts: 38 Member
    That same question is always at the back of my mind when I think about my upcoming surgery. But I know myself well enough to know that without surgery I would revert to my old eating habits quickly and gain all the weight back. The surgery gives me the time I need to make healthy food choices and daily exercise habits.
  • anghigdon
    anghigdon Posts: 24 Member
    I have been asked that question alot and I've asked myself that question alot! My answer to anyone is that I've lost weight before although I've never been able to lose it all and then I gain it back again. With gastric bypass, my new "tool" will help me keep things in check. I liken it to giving an alcoholic a pill that makes them sick if they drink. I need some help to learn how to modify my behavior on a more permanent basis. In addition to that, I have type 2 diabetes and this surgery will do alot to ensure that it doesn't progress any further.

    I also tell them that I did a lot of soul searching and research before making this decision (7 years worth) so I'm going in with my eyes wide open. My surgery is in just 3 more days(Monday) and I cannot wait!
  • annwyatt69
    annwyatt69 Posts: 727 Member
    I have been asked that question alot and I've asked myself that question alot! My answer to anyone is that I've lost weight before although I've never been able to lose it all and then I gain it back again. With gastric bypass, my new "tool" will help me keep things in check. I liken it to giving an alcoholic a pill that makes them sick if they drink. I need some help to learn how to modify my behavior on a more permanent basis. In addition to that, I have type 2 diabetes and this surgery will do alot to ensure that it doesn't progress any further.

    I also tell them that I did a lot of soul searching and research before making this decision (7 years worth) so I'm going in with my eyes wide open. My surgery is in just 3 more days(Monday) and I cannot wait!

    For all of you about to have surgery, good luck and congrats on making an educated and well informed decision. I hope all goes well for you all!
  • grim_traveller
    grim_traveller Posts: 625 Member
    I have been asked that question alot and I've asked myself that question alot! My answer to anyone is that I've lost weight before although I've never been able to lose it all and then I gain it back again. With gastric bypass, my new "tool" will help me keep things in check. I liken it to giving an alcoholic a pill that makes them sick if they drink. I need some help to learn how to modify my behavior on a more permanent basis. In addition to that, I have type 2 diabetes and this surgery will do alot to ensure that it doesn't progress any further.

    I also tell them that I did a lot of soul searching and research before making this decision (7 years worth) so I'm going in with my eyes wide open. My surgery is in just 3 more days(Monday) and I cannot wait!

    I was a Type 2 diabetic also. The only med I was on was metformin, which I was taken off a week after surgery. My fasting blood sugars went from 110-120 before surgery to about 80 by the time I got home from the hospital. I think you'll be surprised at how quickly your diabetes will be resolved. In addition to the diet changes, there is a hormonal change they told me from RNY that cleared up diabetes. This is a major difference between RNY and the lapband -- the band doesn't have that effect.

    Good luck with the surgery, and let us know how it goes.
  • I honestly thought I was the only one doing a lot of soul searching. So glad to know it's not just me over thinking things too much. Thank you for sharing:)
  • annwyatt69
    annwyatt69 Posts: 727 Member
    Lots of soul searching and prayer went into my decision. Even with the three denials I believed I was doing the right thing. I know now that I was led in the right direction.
  • AmyNVegas
    AmyNVegas Posts: 2,215 Member
    Ok please read to the end of this even though it is long. It is honest but I hope helpful. I was never able to lose more than 20 lbs or so on any diet before WLS and I was at 535lbs. My parents were both very heavy (dad died at 700lbs, mom's heaviest was almost 400lbs before she had cancer she was always heavy) so I was and still am fighting genetics and I knew it was the best choice for me. Remember these people are just concerned for you and it is a HUGE irreversible decision. Do not take the decision lightly and make sure you know everything. Depending on your surgery choice there could be vitamin deficiencies to deal with (I take about 7 different supplements a day) there is plastic surgery to consider if you are very heavy (I am working towards that) and you have the relationship with food to work out, too. Do not discount the mental part of all of this. I did for years and I am just dealing with all of that 11 years post op. The surgery works for about a year to 18 months then your body adjusts and it is all you again. Your body learns to store fat again even on the lower calorie count and you will need to maintain a very low calorie diet the rest of your life to lose and maintain. Of course you can never eat as much as you used to and some foods will never go down the same again(I have problems with pork loin, scrambled eggs, fish, and some other proteins without mashed cauliflower to help them go down which is a great potato substitute). And even though sugar will make you extremely sick at first with some surgeries and that will be a blessing there are tricks that you will learn to eat it and you will face old habits. It's human nature. On the other hand crispy breads, potato chips, and other bad carbs that got us fat are not hard to eat and sometimes are comforting and will be way too tempting when you have the diet blues and need a carb serotonin rush. You have to be ready mentally, the will to lose will have to kick back in. If you are lucky and can get to goal in that "honeymoon period", you will just fight regain. If you are very heavy you will probably still have weight to lose at that point and you cannot get discouraged, look at me I am still fighting it at 11 years out and I am beating the odds according to my doctors because I have taken off over 200lbs and have kept it off. They tell me this every time I get discouraged because I am still over 300 pounds.

    All that being said, I would do it again in a heart beat. I have gained a quality of life even at 300 pounds that I would not have had at my age at over 500lbs. I did a side plank yesterday! I am as small as I was in the 5th grade ( I have been very large all my life) I am strong and I am learning to love myself. Surgery was a tool to get me there. You have to do what is best for you, but make sure you know all the facts so you are educated and can deal with everything going into this. I work with a lady who every day says I f I had known... I would never have had this surgery and the things she says I am like what? How did you not know that? She did no research she could not have even listened to the doctor! She complains about very common stuff like low iron(she didn't take her iron supps), hypoglycemia (as she eats junk and her sugar drops a little bit later), and regain- again the junk! Don't let that be you . Know your stuff and be prepared. Ask us post-ops questions!!! :smile:
  • Laura8603
    Laura8603 Posts: 590 Member
    "Your body learns to store fat again even on the lower calorie count and you will need to maintain a very low calorie diet the rest of your life to lose and maintain."

    I disagree with this statement. I'm 4+ years out from RNY and I eat 1700-2000 calories a day to maintain my 200 pound loss. An average person's diet is 2000 calories a day.
  • grim_traveller
    grim_traveller Posts: 625 Member
    "Your body learns to store fat again even on the lower calorie count and you will need to maintain a very low calorie diet the rest of your life to lose and maintain."

    I disagree with this statement. I'm 4+ years out from RNY and I eat 1700-2000 calories a day to maintain my 200 pound loss. An average person's diet is 2000 calories a day.

    Agreed. There is no magic change in the math between those who have or haven't gone through WLS. If you are burning the same number of calories as you consume, you will maintain your weight.
  • MacMadame
    MacMadame Posts: 1,893 Member
    I didn't have the surgery to lose weight. I had it to KEEP IT OFF. Studies show that almost no one who loses significant weight through diet & exercise alone keeps it off while the majority of WLS patients do.
  • ZenRach
    ZenRach Posts: 20 Member
    I am struggling with talking to people about my surgery lately. I know the procedure in and out, pre and post. But one questions is still leaving me at a loss of words." If you are able to loss weight before your surgery why don't you just keep doing Things and eating how you are now and lose the weight that way. Then you wouldn't need surgery." just need some support im pretty sure others have had to deal with this. Why do you guys deal with this.

    I am right there with you. :flowerforyou:

    Before surgery, I had a very difficult time with my family. I was very close to my mom and little sister, and when they found out I was getting the WLS, they tried every manipulating tactic to get me to change my mind. There were lots of tears and heartache. However, I went forward with it - knowing that diets & exercise just weren't helping me keep the weight off. And believe me, I was never a couch potato or one to go a week without exercising at least 2-4 times/week. Now, I'm 135 pounds lighter, no longer obese, and my relationships with my mom and sister have healed. I'm glad I had the surgery - I am so much healthier now. I think my mom still believes that I could have done it on my own, but at least she'll say every now and again that I look much smaller. :wink:
  • jennielou75
    jennielou75 Posts: 197 Member
    For me it was simple. I could lose 3 stone in 6 months before the op because I didn't want to die on the operating table. There is no way I could have done that for the rest of my life. I put on weight very quickly once I eat more than 1200 calories per day. I have excercised frequently for the past 7 years and have always walked everywhere. My surgeon just said I am one of those people who don't need that many calories. Now I am more focused because I have to be but my sleeve stops me from eating too much full stop.
  • mandyabraio
    mandyabraio Posts: 112 Member
    This time.. I lost 30 pounds prior to surgery...if it wasn't for the surgery I would have given up way before now...and here I am 52 pounds lighter...I have lost 60, 80, 100 pounds for the past 30 years...each time I gained it back and more..This "tool" surgery has and will continue to help me keep off the weight I lose and I will never gain it back because I am mindful of the struggle this is, and my tiny tummy will never allow me to over eat EVER again. People who have not had this surgery do not and will not ever understand how it works!!!! It's best to just tell what it's done for you and leave it at that...
  • AZDee
    AZDee Posts: 129 Member
    In a few months it will be my 10 year anniversary to when I drove down to Ensenda Mexico to have RNY surgery with a wonderful US Board Certified Surgeon, Dr Agurrie. 95% of his patients were from the states, It was during a time when commercials for RNY were all over the airwaves and it seemed like this was the only way to save yourself. For me I guess you could say I was one of the lucky ones that I had no complications from being 100 lbs overweight, at that time my insurance simply said it did not cover the surgery end of story. Even now I can't believe I actually did what I did but my husband and I drove down the day before surgery, had some tests done and then had surgery the following day in a brand new private hospital (RNY was very profitable back then) I then spent 10 days down there to have my stitches removed and be given the okay to leave. All went great, my surgeon and staff were wonderful, but I returned to the states all alone, no real support group, in the first 6 months I lost 60 lbs. The first 6 months is considered the honeymoon phase, where the weight comes off quickly. After that the weight loss stopped, even with stick dieting my body stopped. I was happy with my losses but watched others from my online support group that had also used Dr Agurrie, lose much more. I know my age had alot to do with it, Soon menopause was happening and I found myself gaining 5 lbs a year, not too bad I guess, but fast forward 9 years and that's about 40 lbs off my 60 that I lost. A year and a half ago, I found myself obese again and now really feeling like a failure, I exercised daily and ate pretty much on track, could not understand why I was so big. My daughter who had just had a baby did the hcg diet and lost all her baby weight. I was totally against that but it worked for her so I said, I would try it, really just to show her it didn't work, well it did, I started losing a pound a day, I ended up loosing over 100 lbs in less than a year. I now for the first time in my adult life am in the normal weight category. So my reason for telling you all this is there are no guarantees but there is success if you don't give up.
  • JoelleAnn78
    JoelleAnn78 Posts: 1,492 Member
    I know tis is an old post, but I figure, if I am reading it than maybe someone else is too :smile:

    I lost 91 pounds in the five months before I had my RNY on 08/31/2009 -- an hour a day of walking and salad, salad, salad...... protien shake, salad. I battled every single day the people at my workplace that saw me losing weight. They would say, "You look amazing! You are doing so great! Why are you going to have this surgery if you know you can do it on your own?" At first I was upset by this and wasn't sure how to answer. After a while I came to realize that this was just tyheir way of saying, "I care about you and I am concerned!" People are usually incapable of expressing themselves in a way that doesn't feel offensive or rude when the topic is a sensitive one (in my experience).......

    I started telling people this, "I know I cannot sustain this weight loss forever without help." If they continued to harp on it I would say, "Thanks for your concern, but I have made my decision." It was helpful that there was another person in our department that had great success and was a wonderful support to me. I don't know if anyone who "hasn't been there" can truly understand. I try not to stereotype anyone, but I know I was 400 pounds.... unhealthy.... unhappy.... unable to conceive a child.... turning 30 and out of options. In that situation I felt I could not handle another 100 pound loss that resulted in a 150 pound gain when I ate more than salad everyday.

    For everyone who is considering surgery, has a date set, is working toward a date..... I applaud you for your courage.