anyone just going to be single this year?

4themoney

since dating was a bust in 2012, and i feel as though i'm scraping the bottom of the barrel, i think i'm going to spend 2013 just being single.

no worrying about guys or what they think of me, no dates, or talking to guys to get to know them.

i used to think i was at least cute, but now, i'm not so sure.........

TheKitsune6

I have no plans either way, just gonna go with the flow. There's a ton that I hope/expect to happen this year that has nothing to do with dating, and if something happens along the way - neat. If it doesn't? Neat. For me, that's one of the things you can't really plan out.

So I guess? Imagine one big giant shrug of "meh".

Jennifer2387

Awwww .. this makes me sad. You are cute! Don't say that!

Maybe just take a less intense approach. If something comes up, or someone :bigsmile: , then roll with it. But don't bother with somoene unless they really "catch" your interest. Make them pursue you! Don't drive yourself crazy. In the meantime, do you and maybe the perfect man will find you .. if not, you are creating your own happiness along the way!

Go boys! lol

zachatta

Stop worrying about the other sex and improve yourself.

Don't get me wrong, you must be social in order to meet new people. However, making a "long term plan" to find a mate of some sort almost never gets you the results you want.

So, I would say don't say to yourself "I am going to be single", just say "I have this X goal(s) I want to achieve for myself, period, and if I find someone who I want to be with, in whatever relationship I desire then I will pursue".

EDIT: dammit, 1k post and I was going to make a 1k post thread!

Second Edit: I also hope you didn't take that offensively, I wasn't trying to be offensive.

jenbit

Hmmm palnning on being single no on the other hand planning on getting a bf nope.

I kinda just go with the flow on this dating/going out thing. I have alot of fun being single and I dont mind going on dates. I enjoy men alot:bigsmile: :smokin: .

I never hunt for a BF I hunt for fun guys and good times. Dating and BFs happen when everything clicks just right. No point in stressing it

pa_jorg

Would I like to be in a relationship within the year? YES
Am I going to stress if I'm not? NO
Will I have fun dating and being social in the meantime? YUP


@4themoney - I'm saying this with sincerity, but I think your negative attitude is your biggest barrier to finding someone. Maybe it's because Peeps is an easy place to vent, but you always seem down in the dumps about yourself. Try to think and act in a positive and confident manner and good things will most likely come your way. :flowerforyou:

kristen6022

Don't give up now, 4themoney. In the past, now that I look back on my dating history (it seemed pretty pathetic then), when I took a step back, didn't "man hunt" and just went out with my friends, talked to new people and enjoyed my life is when I met quality people. The internet never worked for me because I would stress about it.

So, find a girlfriend, get dressed up (make-up, hair, heals, something that you feel good wearing, whole nine yards) and go get a drink or two at a classy bar. Talk to people, be open and love will find you.

But, I also have to agree with Zach. 2012 was my year to work on myself. I found a good job, I started going out more, I started losing weight and exercising and feeling really great about myself. Surprisingly, this summer I found someone that I'm not sure if I could ever see myself without. So, my advice to you is to step back, look at what you don't like about you and if it's fixable, work on fixing it. Not what others find wrong with you, what you find wrong with you (because most of the time they aren't the same thing). Concentrate on improving yourself this year.

afv417

Be yourself, do what you enjoy and continue focusing in your goals.

Don't be so down on yourself; others can sense that and it isn't attractive. If you're happy, the "one" will find it easy to be attracted to you and be happy with you.

cheerforsteelers

Do for yourself and not care about what men think or what other people think...when you don't focus on dating and finding someone then that's when something is least likely to happen (or so I have experienced). In 2012 I went out on dates and socialized. I think it was more of a goal to find someone, but this year I'm putting all the love on me and not worrying about someone else. If it happens, it happens.

flimflamfloz

Would I like to be in a relationship within the year? YES
Am I going to stress if I'm not? NO
Will I have fun dating and being social in the meantime? YUP

@4themoney - I'm saying this with sincerity, but I think your negative attitude is your biggest barrier to finding someone. Maybe it's because Peeps is an easy place to vent, but you always seem down in the dumps about yourself. Try to think and act in a positive and confident manner and good things will most likely come your way. :flowerforyou:

Yep, this.

Every time you are about to have a negative (and passive) thought (life is crap), just transform this thought into a positive action, something you can do to reach your goal or better yourself (let's go out, let's work on that profile, let's reconnect with my friend, or whatever is important to you).

Negative thoughts are always passive. Transform them into positive actions to get rid of them in the real world.

kristen49233

since dating was a bust in 2012, and i feel as though i'm scraping the bottom of the barrel, i think i'm going to spend 2013 just being single.

no worrying about guys or what they think of me, no dates, or talking to guys to get to know them.

i used to think i was at least cute, but now, i'm not so sure.........

I was thinking the same exact thing as the New Year rolled in. Dated a couple of old friends over the past few months, and all turned out to be busts. Tired of the dating games and am thinking I'll focus more on myself over the next few months. If something happens...it happens, but I'm not going to waste time thinking about it like I have been.

RunIntheMud

I agree with all of the advice given. You need to just enjoy life. You really are a beautiful woman, but you need to see yourself that way. Confidence is attractive above all else.

At the start of 2012, my boyfriend broke up with me. I was already taking time for myself, but with him gone it enabled me to do even more. I went on a few dates here and there, nothing significant. I went to dinner or had drinks with girlfriends. If I had a night where I just needed to get out, I'd just go sit at Starbucks, enjoy a treat and read. "Me" time. I enjoyed my time and just felt more desirable as a result. I really don't think you need to be out there looking for someone. If you are out doing things you enjoy, you will find him in time.

BigBrewski

I think that approach is FINE and it is what I did for most of 2012 and will do for most of 2013. In 2011 I did the dating pool becuase I thought I needed to be dating and that i needed a girlfriend. Everyone here can jump on that "needed" word becuase I didn't need to be dating or need a girlfriend. What I needed to do was figure out WHAT was best for ME.

My immediate focus is on reaching my goals but after that I might try the dating pool again. I have been avoiding it and honestly I have been VERY Happy so don't be suprised if I don't wait until 2014 to dip that toe in the dating pool again.

AnnaPixie

I'm going to get out my comfort zone, and grab opportunities along the way!! :smokin:

Agree with PMA being better for your all round health - Positive Mental Attitude - Yeah! :bigsmile:

farmers_daughter

It's very likely that I will still be single come December 31, 2013.... very.

But that won't stop me from flirting my @ss off.....if that's the only way I get it off then so be it. :bigsmile: BOO YAH!!!

I'm going to have fun, possibly open up to the idea of friends with benefits. But those are about the only changes I'm gonna make, the rest of me is doing pretty good.

pa_jorg

I'm going to get out my comfort zone, and grab opportunities along the way!! :smokin:

Agree with PMA being better for your all round health - Positive Mental Attitude - Yeah! :bigsmile:

:drinker: :drinker:

Carl01

I expect I will be single still a year from now.
The main issue I will deal with this year is where will I be living a year from today.

La_Amazona

Nope, I plan to have at least 6 boyfriends this year and at least 250 dates. I also want to have at least 5 one night stands and 3 FWB. Just no marriage or babies- yet.

lacroyx

Stop worrying about the other sex and improve yourself.

Pretty much my focus, physically and mentally. If something comes along, great! However, I'm not going to actively look.

4themoney

thanks, bruce!! :-)


i probably do use this forum to only vent, but that's because i don't know anyone in real life that is where i am, or gets where i am.

i DO NOT have single friends. all of my single friends meet people and end up with boyfriends that they date. i don't have a single friend, male or female, that i can talk to about any of this. my entire town is married, and if there are guys that are single they are dating someone already. or they are my ex and i would never date him again, LOL!!!

i spent over two years totally single, not a single date. i spent one solid year trying to meet men the only way i really can and absolutely NOTHING came of it. so, either i accept that and keep doing what i've been doing ( which would end up the definition of insanity, right? keep doing the same thing expecting different results) OR, i accept my current situation and stop doing what i've been doing.

without friends to go out with, i spend most of my weekends alone. and when i do go out with friends, they are all married and we do very married women types of things. the last time i went out with some female friends at a place where single people would be ( casino/ race track/ bar) two single guys hit on my married friends......... they asked my married friends for their phone numbers. even though my friends were very clear that they were married and i was single.

i think i had much more confidence going into dating than i do now. a year of rejection does negatively affect your thought processes. i need to NOT meet anyone at all for at least a year in order to just get back to where i have that self confidence again. i think i need a year of zero expectations. zero hopes and desires that involve men. just live my life single and stay single and not let anyone get my hopes up for more.

i am sorry if people think i'm a pessimist or that all i do is seem down. i have learned that i dislike dating to the nth degree, but i have no one else to talk to about it. if i shouldn't vent here, i won't. i am sorry if people think poorly of me because i do.


being a single woman with 5 kids is not easy, but it's also not the norm. i get a lot of comments from people in town, and lots of opinions. it's hard to accept being single and alone when everyone around you is asking you if you're dating or trying to meet people, LOL!

I think that approach is FINE and it is what I did for most of 2012 and will do for most of 2013. In 2011 I did the dating pool becuase I thought I needed to be dating and that i needed a girlfriend. Everyone here can jump on that "needed" word becuase I didn't need to be dating or need a girlfriend. What I needed to do was figure out WHAT was best for ME.

My immediate focus is on reaching my goals but after that I might try the dating pool again. I have been avoiding it and honestly I have been VERY Happy so don't be suprised if I don't wait until 2014 to dip that toe in the dating pool again.

4themoney

i don't know if you're being serious or joking, but you did make me laugh!!! ;-)

Nope, I plan to have at least 6 boyfriends this year and at least 250 dates. I also want to have at least 5 one night stands and 3 FWB. Just no marriage or babies- yet.