anyone just going to be single this year?
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First of all if your married friends attract more attention then you do go out by yourself. I know this is a strange concept to some ladies but we don't have to travel in packs or pairs. Going out by yourself draws attention (pull of that confidence). Walk around like you own the place. Going someplace where singles will be by yourself draws the eye and tells others that your confident in yourself and dont need to hide behind a wall of people . The men will aproach lol0
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i wish i had your spunk and confidence ;-)
i'll go out or do things alone, but not typically to places where men are or where i would meet someone single.
2011, was my best year since 1998. i did whatever i wanted, usually alone. i never met anyone or got hit on, or asked for a number, or got chatted up by someone, but i had fun.
i'm just going to do that again. do what i want, by myself. :-)First of all if your married friends attract more attention then you do go out by yourself. I know this is a strange concept to some ladies but we don't have to travel in packs or pairs. Going out by yourself draws attention (pull of that confidence). Walk around like you own the place. Going someplace where singles will be by yourself draws the eye and tells others that your confident in yourself and dont need to hide behind a wall of people . The men will aproach lol0 -
thanks, bruce!! :-)
i probably do use this forum to only vent, but that's because i don't know anyone in real life that is where i am, or gets where i am.
i DO NOT have single friends. all of my single friends meet people and end up with boyfriends that they date. i don't have a single friend, male or female, that i can talk to about any of this. my entire town is married, and if there are guys that are single they are dating someone already. or they are my ex and i would never date him again, LOL!!!
i spent over two years totally single, not a single date. i spent one solid year trying to meet men the only way i really can and absolutely NOTHING came of it. so, either i accept that and keep doing what i've been doing ( which would end up the definition of insanity, right? keep doing the same thing expecting different results) OR, i accept my current situation and stop doing what i've been doing.
without friends to go out with, i spend most of my weekends alone. and when i do go out with friends, they are all married and we do very married women types of things. the last time i went out with some female friends at a place where single people would be ( casino/ race track/ bar) two single guys hit on my married friends......... they asked my married friends for their phone numbers. even though my friends were very clear that they were married and i was single.
i think i had much more confidence going into dating than i do now. a year of rejection does negatively affect your thought processes. i need to NOT meet anyone at all for at least a year in order to just get back to where i have that self confidence again. i think i need a year of zero expectations. zero hopes and desires that involve men. just live my life single and stay single and not let anyone get my hopes up for more.
i am sorry if people think i'm a pessimist or that all i do is seem down. i have learned that i dislike dating to the nth degree, but i have no one else to talk to about it. if i shouldn't vent here, i won't. i am sorry if people think poorly of me because i do.
being a single woman with 5 kids is not easy, but it's also not the norm. i get a lot of comments from people in town, and lots of opinions. it's hard to accept being single and alone when everyone around you is asking you if you're dating or trying to meet people, LOL!
I don't think anyone here thinks poorly of you, but we do notice a trend of you being negative. If it is just here to vent, that makes sense, but we do notice is all.
Ok, you just wrote about not having luck meeting guys to date and how all your friends are married. What about trying to make some single friends (male or female)? It would help you become more social and you never know who they might be able to introduce you to. Work the MFP angle for people in your area or try meetup.com or go to your local library or a bar. I guess my point is that it doesn't have to be so all-or-nothing for you when it comes to meeting people.0 -
If history repeats itself I will be..
But I'm going to the gym right now and going to just be the best I can be and let the chips fall where they may.0 -
Stop worrying about the other sex and improve yourself.
Don't get me wrong, you must be social in order to meet new people. However, making a "long term plan" to find a mate of some sort almost never gets you the results you want.
So, I would say don't say to yourself "I am going to be single", just say "I have this X goal(s) I want to achieve for myself, period, and if I find someone who I want to be with, in whatever relationship I desire then I will pursue".
^^ This.
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After being single for the last 9 years, I think it's time to open up and try dating again. When you gain a lot of weight, move to a new state after having three back-to-back-to-back horrific relationships (5 yr long distance, a broken engagement and a cheater), it kind of wears you down. I needed that time to learn about myself, find some self-confidence and do what I needed to get by. I went on dates here and there, but nothing super worthwhile. I did find someone who I fell in love with (for the last year and a half) but sadly, the feelings aren't mutual on his end and so I need to open my heart and my life to someone who will feel that way. As someone else said, you can't force it and you can't rush it -- when it happens, whether finding them online or in person, then it happens. Otherwise, going to do like everyone else - enjoy life, live it, breathe it and when it happens, it'll be great. =D Keeping the faith...0
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well, i won't be venting this year ;-) so hopefully people will sense that too.
i befriend single women and within months, they are a couple with someone. so i never have a single friend long. i have tried befriending single guys and lets just say that hasn't happened either. not to mention i only have every other weekend free. i am starting my job this month and that will suck up those free nights, so i'm actually not going to have ANY free time to meet people or date or go out. so, 2013 really is a good year to just be single :-)
I don't think anyone here thinks poorly of you, but we do notice a trend of you being negative. If it is just here to vent, that makes sense, but we do notice is all.
Ok, you just wrote about not having luck meeting guys to date and how all your friends are married. What about trying to make some single friends (male or female)? It would help you become more social and you never know who they might be able to introduce you to. Work the MFP angle for people in your area or try meetup.com or go to your local library or a bar. I guess my point is that it doesn't have to be so all-or-nothing for you when it comes to meeting people.0 -
i don't know if you're being serious or joking, but you did make me laugh!!! ;-)Nope, I plan to have at least 6 boyfriends this year and at least 250 dates. I also want to have at least 5 one night stands and 3 FWB. Just no marriage or babies- yet.
I'll offer up a One Night Stand to either of you ladies if you happen to be in California or if I happen to get a new job where I travel.0 -
Stop worrying about the other sex and improve yourself.
Don't get me wrong, you must be social in order to meet new people. However, making a "long term plan" to find a mate of some sort almost never gets you the results you want.
So, I would say don't say to yourself "I am going to be single", just say "I have this X goal(s) I want to achieve for myself, period, and if I find someone who I want to be with, in whatever relationship I desire then I will pursue".
YESSSS. That's how I feel. I'm tired of looking and going on dates with guys I met online that don't end well or never happen at all lol i know i need to lose weight anyway so that's most likely the problem. so when i do lose weight i'll feel better about myself and have more confidence and hopefully that will show...because obviously whatever i've been doing isn't working. 0 -
As I'm relatively new to the singles world, my friends have recommended I read the following book. I'm up to chapter 2.
http://www.goodreads.com/ebooks/download/46191.Why_Men_Love_B!tches Change the ! to an i
I haven't read through all the advice the others have given you yet, but so far, I agree with them. Be yourself and focus on yourself. It will fall into place. :flowerforyou:
ETA: I have other single friends that talk about meetup.com. not specifically for dating, but I read another post you wrote about going out and doing various things. Perhaps there are other singles in your area that you may not be aware of? Even if not, meetup is about a group of people who have similar interests and going out and doing things together.0 -
My friends have all been with someone or are with someone now. I've never even been asked out on a date in my life, im only 18 but still...I'm that single friend that everyone has one of. I mean guys look at me, but no luck ever getting asked out. I've given up on trying to get a date and am focusing more on myself and getting fit. Usually when I stop looking for something, it will find me anyways :P Still hoping to focus on myself this year!0
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I fell in love (or the early stages of) and started planning a future with a man who is wonderful and everything I thought I might need or want in someone. But he broke up with me on Friday. Earlier today I finally got to hear some of the very personal and serious reasons why...and truly believe that when he says they are his issues and it isn't me he is telling the truth. Sometimes in life you get to do something remarkable and selfless for another person..and so I made an active choice to put the ego and hurt and disappointment aside and love him anyway, even if only as a friend. He is an amazing individual who has to sort out himself and his own happiness on his own..but I also appreciate the opportunity to show someone what non-judgmental and unconditional love can look like.
So...as I hope for the future still, I think I will be single a while. This will take me time to get past and right now I don't want to get past it..though I am bad about distracting myself with others. So you never know.0 -
I fell in love (or the early stages of) and started planning a future with a man who is wonderful and everything I thought I might need or want in someone. But he broke up with me on Friday. Earlier today I finally got to hear some of the very personal and serious reasons why...and truly believe that when he says they are his issues and it isn't me he is telling the truth. Sometimes in life you get to do something remarkable and selfless for another person..and so I made an active choice to put the ego and hurt and disappointment aside and love him anyway, even if only as a friend. He is an amazing individual who has to sort out himself and his own happiness on his own..but I also appreciate the opportunity to show someone what non-judgmental and unconditional love can look like.
So...as I hope for the future still, I think I will be single a while. This will take me time to get past and right now I don't want to get past it..though I am bad about distracting myself with others. So you never know.
Awwwww that's crappy news SB, I'm really sorry :flowerforyou:0 -
I fell in love (or the early stages of) and started planning a future with a man who is wonderful and everything I thought I might need or want in someone. But he broke up with me on Friday. Earlier today I finally got to hear some of the very personal and serious reasons why...and truly believe that when he says they are his issues and it isn't me he is telling the truth. Sometimes in life you get to do something remarkable and selfless for another person..and so I made an active choice to put the ego and hurt and disappointment aside and love him anyway, even if only as a friend. He is an amazing individual who has to sort out himself and his own happiness on his own..but I also appreciate the opportunity to show someone what non-judgmental and unconditional love can look like.
So...as I hope for the future still, I think I will be single a while. This will take me time to get past and right now I don't want to get past it..though I am bad about distracting myself with others. So you never know.
:flowerforyou: So sorry!0 -
I fell in love (or the early stages of) and started planning a future with a man who is wonderful and everything I thought I might need or want in someone. But he broke up with me on Friday. Earlier today I finally got to hear some of the very personal and serious reasons why...and truly believe that when he says they are his issues and it isn't me he is telling the truth. Sometimes in life you get to do something remarkable and selfless for another person..and so I made an active choice to put the ego and hurt and disappointment aside and love him anyway, even if only as a friend. He is an amazing individual who has to sort out himself and his own happiness on his own..but I also appreciate the opportunity to show someone what non-judgmental and unconditional love can look like.
So...as I hope for the future still, I think I will be single a while. This will take me time to get past and right now I don't want to get past it..though I am bad about distracting myself with others. So you never know.
So sorry for your hurt honey,now is not the time but at some point maybe we can have a discussion about some things you have spoken of here. :flowerforyou:0 -
I fell in love (or the early stages of) and started planning a future with a man who is wonderful and everything I thought I might need or want in someone. But he broke up with me on Friday. Earlier today I finally got to hear some of the very personal and serious reasons why...and truly believe that when he says they are his issues and it isn't me he is telling the truth. Sometimes in life you get to do something remarkable and selfless for another person..and so I made an active choice to put the ego and hurt and disappointment aside and love him anyway, even if only as a friend. He is an amazing individual who has to sort out himself and his own happiness on his own..but I also appreciate the opportunity to show someone what non-judgmental and unconditional love can look like.
So...as I hope for the future still, I think I will be single a while. This will take me time to get past and right now I don't want to get past it..though I am bad about distracting myself with others. So you never know.
Ah, SB, that really sucks. You know we are all here to listen to you vent if you need it.0 -
Most likely. Who knows, after how crazy 2012 was in the love department, anything could happen and I wouldn't be surprised. I'm certainly open to a serious relationship, just has to be the right girl. My current options have no long term potential.0
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I fell in love (or the early stages of) and started planning a future with a man who is wonderful and everything I thought I might need or want in someone. But he broke up with me on Friday. Earlier today I finally got to hear some of the very personal and serious reasons why...and truly believe that when he says they are his issues and it isn't me he is telling the truth. Sometimes in life you get to do something remarkable and selfless for another person..and so I made an active choice to put the ego and hurt and disappointment aside and love him anyway, even if only as a friend. He is an amazing individual who has to sort out himself and his own happiness on his own..but I also appreciate the opportunity to show someone what non-judgmental and unconditional love can look like.
So...as I hope for the future still, I think I will be single a while. This will take me time to get past and right now I don't want to get past it..though I am bad about distracting myself with others. So you never know.
I'm so sorry to hear that SB. It's wonderful that you can take so much out of it, but I know that doesn't help the hurt. :flowerforyou:0 -
HUGS SB!!!
just hugs, hugs and more hugs!!!!I fell in love (or the early stages of) and started planning a future with a man who is wonderful and everything I thought I might need or want in someone. But he broke up with me on Friday. Earlier today I finally got to hear some of the very personal and serious reasons why...and truly believe that when he says they are his issues and it isn't me he is telling the truth. Sometimes in life you get to do something remarkable and selfless for another person..and so I made an active choice to put the ego and hurt and disappointment aside and love him anyway, even if only as a friend. He is an amazing individual who has to sort out himself and his own happiness on his own..but I also appreciate the opportunity to show someone what non-judgmental and unconditional love can look like.
So...as I hope for the future still, I think I will be single a while. This will take me time to get past and right now I don't want to get past it..though I am bad about distracting myself with others. So you never know.0 -
I fell in love (or the early stages of) and started planning a future with a man who is wonderful and everything I thought I might need or want in someone. But he broke up with me on Friday. Earlier today I finally got to hear some of the very personal and serious reasons why...and truly believe that when he says they are his issues and it isn't me he is telling the truth. Sometimes in life you get to do something remarkable and selfless for another person..and so I made an active choice to put the ego and hurt and disappointment aside and love him anyway, even if only as a friend. He is an amazing individual who has to sort out himself and his own happiness on his own..but I also appreciate the opportunity to show someone what non-judgmental and unconditional love can look like.
So...as I hope for the future still, I think I will be single a while. This will take me time to get past and right now I don't want to get past it..though I am bad about distracting myself with others. So you never know.
Sorry to hear it SB. I totally know where you are coming from as I could have wrote almost this exact comment about 4 months ago.
I fell in love, and she left to go back and work things out with her ex-husband. But we were both such special people for one another, that we couldn't think of going on without one another. So trying hard to keep the friends thing going, even through the pain that I still get.
Best of luck to you. Not the way you wanted to start the new year I am sure.0
