I went to OA last night & still had a BED attack

janesmith1

And gained 1 lb from it. My fault. TIRED. Was in the KITCHEN. I was COOKING LATE. I should have been upstairs in bed, but was doing this long cooking thing. And I was EXHAUSTED. I binged.

Capital letters emphasize all the trigger areas for me.

jessiekanga

Sorry:(

Ahhh....so, you're not perfect and a meeting doesn't guarantee any particular period of immunity. Now, can you give yourself a little compassion? You know your triggers, do you know what's so painful about them... being tired, cooking late...etc. If you can look at yourself gently, with compassion, you may find it a little easier to see it and comfort yourself with self-talk next time, before you act. And yes, I am totally hearing myself and know it's so much easier to judge ourselves, hate ourselves and damn ourselves instead. So far, though, that hasn't worked for me. A little gentleness often does.

Hang in there. Hope your today is brighter, and hope you get a chance for some rest.
Best...

chaubner008

Thanks for sharing! I have totally been there! I used to think the meetings were my anti-BED but was so guilty feeling when I would find myself bloated and stuffed yet again even though I went to a meeting. I would hate myself, feeling like I was a glotton and just wasn't trying hard enough. Truth is, if the meetings kept me abstinent there wouldn't be twelve steps, no need for a Higher power and no point in reading literature or making phone calls, or a food plan to follow, or a sponsor to contact, or...... You get what I'm saying...it is completely normal to binge even though u attended a meeting, we are compulsive overeaters. Do not feel bad or question why that happened. Remember that you were doing what you (& ur body) knows best when faced with exhaustion, kitchen, cooking (STRESS). This is a tough habit to break. It is beyond that even. It's tough to develop a new way of thinking: of acting upon life instead of reacting to it, right? Yes!!! This is a point in your recovery, believe it or not, you went to the meeting (yae!), went home and yes, you binged, but u were able to reflect and see perhaps what triggered it (not that we necessarily always need a trigger to binge(:()but its great to identify them) and you got on here and discussed it (yae!), which not only means you are trying I move on from it but also that u r not isolating or denying that it happened(big yae!). Hope u feel better! Sending lots of love! We can do this!!!!!!