trying to be polite
Options
mandys1979
Posts: 46 Member
I am surrounded by heavier people. When I tell them I am trying to loose weight I get made fun of. I am 5 7 140 lbs. This is the most I have ever weighed. I dont know how to handle the negative comments. I just try to smile and let it go but it makes me mad and upset. Im asking for advice on how to handle this? I am also looking for people to help motivate me. Thanks
0
Replies
-
Maybe you should word it differently. Since people scoff at you wanting to lose weight, maybe you should say you're watching your diet and looking to gain muscle/decrease your body fat. Sadly, they will probably still give you a hard time. Sometimes I think change within us is harder for other people to deal with than it is for US to deal with! lol.
Part of it is jealously, part of it is ignorance. Basically, ignore it and keep doing what you're doing.
PS. most of my fam is overweight and used to make comments that felt mean to me when I started this (like, you're going to waste away! I weigh 146 lbs at 5'9" I'm not going anywhere. lol) , but I knew they really weren't trying to be mean. And you have to remember that. their intent really isn't generally negative even though it feels that way sometimes.0 -
I find it best to not discuss my personal fitness goals with people that aren't like minded. That's why this group is so great, haha.0
-
Thanks. I never say the "gosh Im fat" cour going comments because I know that I am not. But I do say when they want to go out to eat that I am trying to cut out fast food and trying to be more active. But I still get the negative comments. Like your going to look sickly or you will look like a board. But the kicker is this is the weight most of my friends knew me at. No one ever said bad things then.0
-
I think it tends to go hand in hand with the assumption that smaller people can "eat whatever they want" and still look great. It just seems like many people don't realize that dieting or trying to lose weight is NOT the only reason to watch what you eat.0
-
prefectly put. To me it sometimes feels that if your not morbidly overweight then you shouldnt have to worry about your weight.0
-
And for those people the word "diet" probably means some fad diet where you will lose weight dramatically. I think of a diet as a lifestyle choice. Of course we could eat what we want, when we want but we CHOOSE not to. The people making the comments wouldn't like it if we made comments in regards to their goals, regardless of what they are. Don't worry about what they have to say. I don't think you should have to not talk about what makes you strive for a better you. If they are insecure, oh well!0
-
A lot of people don't respond well to the phrase "lose weight." Instead, you might re-word your thoughts into "tone up," "eat healthier," "be healthier," etc. When you're already within a healthy weight range, fitness is usually thought upon more positively rather than dieting.0
-
Call me a ***** BUT...this has always pissed me off! Why is it that bigger people can make fun of "skinny" people and think nothing of it, but someone smaller could never say anything about someone bigger??? I just never understood it - not that I would ever say anything but I've had so many bigger friends make fun of me and my size! I could never turn around and say anything to them!0
-
Bingo. Thats exactly it.0
-
Any chance you can pretend your doctor said you have to do it? That is if they didn't alreay. That'll shut them up.0
-
Their comments have more to do with them. Maybe they've gained and feel badly about themselves?0
-
In my experience, people who are not also trying to lose weight or maintain any kind of healthy lifestyle will constantly give those people who do a hard time. That's why I shut my office door when I eat. People will literally walk by and critique what I am eating in a snotty way. "Why is your smoothie green???" "Look at you, all healthy" "What IS that?" And at my old job if anyone offered me something they brought in for a snack or breakfast (e.g. donuts, cookies, etc) and I politely declined, it opened up a whole can of worms. Also, I did a two week no sugar challenge recently and people were really nasty to me about it. I have never really understood it, but here's what I say: don't listen to anyone who is not supporting you and your goals. Surround yourself with those who are like minded and happy for you and ignore the rest.
busywifehealthylife.blogspot.com0 -
hi drives me crazy to....i know im not what people think fat, but i still want to work out and eat better to look better and feel better...
who cares what anyone says!!0 -
Thanks everyone.0
-
I run into that a lot and I just say I have some awesome classic clothes I used to be able to wear and would like to fit in them again. And or that my BMI is way too high and it's not healthy (plant the seed , 0
-
Keep your head up. When other people try to knock you down, it's only because they are jealous of you motivation to better yourself. I am slender, but I want to lose some weight for a race I'm doing in September and people I work with (flight attendant so always working with strangers) poke fun at me for wanting to go to the gym instead of eating out or having a few drinks. Like you, I haven't come up with a good excuse to tell people when they can't accept the truth. I wish I could offer more advice, but you have my support.0
-
ppl will frequently serve negativity to you in response to your making better choices than they are.
this is because they don't want to face the fact that they are making crappy choices, and would rather paint you to be the 'weirdo' or the 'goody two shoes' or 'stuck up' than think about their own suckiness.
deep down, ppl get jealous and sometimes get nasty when they wish they had the self control that you do.
just ignore it. it means (whether they realize it or not) they want to be like you.0 -
I don't usually discuss my fitness goals with people that are not on the same page as I am. some people just would not understand.
Why don't you turn this negativity into a motivation to succeed and reach your goal. Show them the result and see if they still laugh at you then.0 -
I don't speak to anyone about my fitness/diet goals, only my boyfriend who understands but all my friends would poke fun and try and make me feel like an idiot for trying to tone up and loose body fat as if I am mentally challenged!
Being very thin in my past I was mocked a lot. I used to get a lot of male attention when I was slim and my friends hated this and got very jealous. I was always "too thin" and some friends would refuse to go out with me on a night out because I made them look "fat and ugly". Then I put on weight and they all jumped for joy, my fitness levels dropped off and the fact this pleased them annoyed me. I was actually suffering from hypothyroidism and didn't know it. I was not a different person and yet a fat me deserved not to be bullied or treated unfairly anymore.
It's really frustrating and disheartening but you just have to stay focused and love and cherish yourself and what you want to achieve.0 -
I think some larger people don't realise that you can be smaller and still considered overweight for your BMI. I'm 5'1 and weigh 145lb my BMI is 27.5 and I'm considered overweight for my height. My friends are taller but on the very heavy side, neither of them have had children, they complain about their weight all the time but do nothing about it and continue to stuff their faces without thinking about it yet they still mock me for wanting to lose the extra weight I gained during pregnancy. I've since moved away from London and don't see them anymore, I don't need their negative comments bringing me down.0
