Why do you use online dating?
SVCat
Posts: 1,483 Member
When I first got separated, my circle of friends were all married, so were their circle of friends. I travelled a lot for work and when I was in town, I would always have my boys. So my social time was limited and my social skills were dull. Eventually, after about three months of online dating and dealing with a bunch of duds, I left the world of online dating and just threw myself into the bar scene, the gym scene, anywhere that there were ladies that shared common interests as me. I am not very social by nature, but I've learned to cope with that and am now quite the social bumble bee ( I won't say social butterfly...that just sounds gay).
So why do you use online dating? Is your time really that limited or is just an excuse?
So why do you use online dating? Is your time really that limited or is just an excuse?
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I don't use it at this point in time but I plan to later this year when I live by myself.
I will use it because:
- I don't make a great first impression in person because I'm shy
- it's easier to have time to think of responses online
- I work overnights and every other weekend so I don't get out much during prime socialization hours
- I'm very awkward in person around men I like so it will give me a chance to get to know someone without nerves0 -
edit: nevermind0
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So why do you use online dating? Is your time really that limited or is just an excuse?
Wow, this sounds really judgmental :huh:
Not at all madam. I used it. I found that most of the people weren't what they said they were. It was very useful to re-introduce me back into the dating world and I have zero shame for using it.
PS--Too late to say nevermind : )0 -
So why do you use online dating? Is your time really that limited or is just an excuse?
Wow, this sounds really judgmental :huh:
Not at all madam. I used it. I found that most of the people weren't what they said they were. It was very useful to re-introduce me back into the dating world and I have zero shame for using it.
PS--Too late to say nevermind : )
haha, too late indeed. I use it. Yup, there are some duds as you pointed out. But I've also met some really great guys, who just weren't the right guy for me. I think the same can be found anywhere you spend time in real life too.0 -
I used it because of convenience. Now it gives me anxiety.0
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I like on-line dating.
It's far more efficient, or so it seems to me. In bars/gym/shopping, all you get to go on is the very surface of people. In on-line dating, there are all of those other filters - profile essays, questionnaires etc, plus the opportunity to have an email exchange before meeting. (That's not to say that I don't pay attention to how a woman looks, online or off line).
I for one have found that I frequently meet high quality women - or at least women who are more appropriate for me - on-line.
With that said - I still get the occasional bad match... but it's very much the exception, especially since I added a section in my profile called "why you shouldn't contact me" where I spelled out several deal killers. This greatly limited the amount of responses I got, but it increased the number of times a woman initiated conversations with me... and the ones I did correspond with and/or meet were much better fits.
I think that many people try to cast as wide of a net as possible on-line, and this isn't really a good strategy, IMHO. It's certainly against the "male instinct" to limit your possibilities, but it seems to work for me.0 -
I use online dating, because I am limited as to where I will meet people. I am not outgoing enough to just start a conversation with any guy anywhere. I rarely start a conversation with anyone...though will be happy to talk to you, if you start talking
I occasionally go to bars with friends, but not exactly where I want to meet a partner----as I met my exhusband in a bar---enough said! When I was still going to the gym consistently, there was no one there of interest, so that wasn't even an option.
Online makes it so I can talk to and decide to meet a much larger group of people, and that works for me .0 -
Because I rarely get hit on in real life I can count on one hand minus my thumb in almost 36 years of being alive lol.
I run...I don't look sexy yet in my running clothing..but its practical...I flirted with the one single man in my running circle of friends and he never asked me out.
Most of my friends don't do the bar scene any more and I'm really alittle too shy to just go to the bar and sit there alone waiting for some man to talk to me..that's not me.
When I do go to the bars with friends I don't generally get hit on they do.
When I go to the gym again..I'm still about 50lbs bigger than the regular gym girls..I'm there to work out and have never noticed a man checking me out.
I've gone kayaking alone...well to meet up with others and thought that might be a chance but not as of yet.
So I try I go to meet ups and chat to different people..
So far online dating while it sucks has been away to meet people...I'm tired of it all.0 -
Just to meet new people. Being self employed and having a male best friend kinda restricted meeting new men for years.
I give up with them now tho as they seem to attract very strange 'men' !! (as opposed to 5 or 10 years ago) Or *I* just seem to attract freaks!! :huh:0 -
I started doing it when my kids were young and it was harder for me to get out of the house. I do it now more as a supplement. Why not cast a wide net, right? I like it for the reasons others have stated.... Before we start talking I know the men are single, what I'm looking for and that we have things in common. While I've had some pretty funny first dates, I think I've met some great men.0
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My lame excuses are as follows:
-I work odd, irregular hours at times. This requires me to work a lot of nights and weekends (ugh!).
-I'm also not big bar person. I rarely drink and the large crowds make it tough for me to work my game. If I can get someone one-on-on.. I'm in.
-When I'm at the gym.. I'm in it to kill it. I'm into power-lifting, I'm grunting, getting sweaty, etc. Not the best time to approach new chics.
I will say that I've met MUCH better women in real world situations (friends of friends) than I've met online. Most of the women I've met online have been complete duds. Out of all the women I went out with, I've really only wanted a second date with one of them.
All in all, online dating is definitely not for me.0 -
well, i did use it, for about a year.
mainly because i just have any other avenues for meeting single men. i don't work outside the home right now. i am starting a job in feb, but it won't be anywhere that available single men are. i did just apply for a job at lifetime fitness where i belong, so we'll see.
also, because ALL of my friends are married with kids. so..... that doesn't help much. i do go to the gym, but never to meet people or talk to men. i don't drink, so i kinda look silly in a bar. i will go with friends or on a date, but to go to meet someone would look stupid.
um, where i live is NOT a hot spot for single available men, LOL! i have to drive at least 30 min most of the time for dates. and that's not city distance driving, that's country road driving ( 60 mph) LOL!0 -
OMG .. I just joined POF .. wtf. I have been messaged by 10 of the scariest people I have ever seen. Uh .. who was it DM that asked if the men were getting the bottom of the barrell women .. uh .. no.
I am afraid.0 -
You've been messaged 10 times??!!OMG .. I just joined POF .. wtf. I have been messaged by 10 of the scariest people I have ever seen. Uh .. who was it DM that asked if the men were getting the bottom of the barrell women .. uh .. no.
Lucky person. That's why I don't do online dating. I hate being completely ignored and feeling rejected. It affects my ego, and then my mojo when I'm talking to women at bars, clubs, etc.0 -
OMG .. I just joined POF .. wtf. I have been messaged by 10 of the scariest people I have ever seen. Uh .. who was it DM that asked if the men were getting the bottom of the barrell women .. uh .. no.
I am afraid.
Define "scary" and describe their e-mails. I need some entertainment.0 -
You've been messaged 10 times??!!OMG .. I just joined POF .. wtf. I have been messaged by 10 of the scariest people I have ever seen. Uh .. who was it DM that asked if the men were getting the bottom of the barrell women .. uh .. no.
Lucky person. That's why I don't do online dating. I hate being completely ignored and feeling rejected. It affects my ego, and then my mojo when I'm talking to women at bars, clubs, etc.
Online dating is definitely a numbers game.. when was the last time you got 10 e-mails?
I think DM did a post on how many men "settle" when they online date. You don't need to settle. You're much better suited for the bar and club scene.0 -
I use it because I work from home and my circle of friends is - well, my circle of friends. Hasn't been anyone new added to our little circle in a while... plus, it's nice to know what people are into and have things in common with them. I've had both good luck and BAD luck on sites....0
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You've been messaged 10 times??!!OMG .. I just joined POF .. wtf. I have been messaged by 10 of the scariest people I have ever seen. Uh .. who was it DM that asked if the men were getting the bottom of the barrell women .. uh .. no.
Lucky person. That's why I don't do online dating. I hate being completely ignored and feeling rejected. It affects my ego, and then my mojo when I'm talking to women at bars, clubs, etc.
Online dating is definitely a numbers game.. when was the last time you got 10 e-mails?
I think DM did a post on how many men "settle" when they online date. You don't need to settle. You're much better suited for the bar and club scene.
She definitely doesn't need to settle but I don't think she need to give up online dating.
I have a feeling with the free sites you're gonna get more rif raf.0 -
Funny..there was this extremely hot guy on there ..read his profile and he was a total d!ck.. but then at the bottom where it said your first date..he put "I got this" and I was immediately attracted to him..lol. I wanted to jump his bones..even knowing he was a d!ck
Pathetic.0 -
OMG .. I just joined POF .. wtf. I have been messaged by 10 of the scariest people I have ever seen. Uh .. who was it DM that asked if the men were getting the bottom of the barrell women .. uh .. no.
I am afraid.
A word of warning that there are guys out there who prey on the newbies. Give it a few days and it will most likely slow down and you'll probably come across some decent ones (even if they aren't the one for you...) sooner rather than later.0 -
Funny..there was this extremely hot guy on there ..read his profile and he was a total d!ck.. but then at the bottom where it said your first date..he put "I got this" and I was immediately attracted to him..lol. I wanted to jump his bones..even knowing he was a d!ck
Pathetic.
I have totally been there... a few dozen times! I really do try to avoid all of the real obvious "*kitten*" on POF but I can't stand the whiny *kitten* "I am sooooo lonely... if you would just give me a chance" types either... trying to find someone in the middle. It's hard... and batteries are getting expensive! haha0 -
Because I rarely get hit on in real life I can count on one hand minus my thumb in almost 36 years of being alive lol.
I run...I don't look sexy yet in my running clothing..but its practical...I flirted with the one single man in my running circle of friends and he never asked me out.
Most of my friends don't do the bar scene any more and I'm really alittle too shy to just go to the bar and sit there alone waiting for some man to talk to me..that's not me.
When I do go to the bars with friends I don't generally get hit on they do.
You need to present yourself as a sexy. alluring woman in real life scenarios and you will have more men wanting you than you will know what to do with.0 -
Funny..there was this extremely hot guy on there ..read his profile and he was a total d!ck.. but then at the bottom where it said your first date..he put "I got this" and I was immediately attracted to him..lol. I wanted to jump his bones..even knowing he was a d!ck
Pathetic.
Not pathetic at all. It's very normal.
Guys should take note here.0 -
Funny..there was this extremely hot guy on there ..read his profile and he was a total d!ck.. but then at the bottom where it said your first date..he put "I got this" and I was immediately attracted to him..lol. I wanted to jump his bones..even knowing he was a d!ck
Pathetic.
Not pathetic at all. It's very normal.
Guys should take note here.
Good looking person + confidence = many opportunities to have sex0 -
Well I have an online profile and I've been on one date from it but Its not like my inbox is bouncing (although I seemed to get a bunch of email from 20-21 yr olds this week:laugh: No thank you ) I use it because I have alot of friends male and female and we go out together frequently which limits contact with others. Also being that south florida is huge it puts me in contact with guys I would have never met IRL .... It's fun but I still prefer meeting people IRL0
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I'm a jumper...I jump on and off one of the on-line dating websites almost as often as the seasons change. I haven't been on one in a few months, and was just thinking this morning that I should re-activate my account. I think 50% of the men that messaged me were in their early 20s--asking me if I would date a younger man. My daughter is 23, and I'm 46...so I'm thinking it wouldn't be too cool to date someone her age (although the other night I was flipping though TV channels and came across Extreme Cougars on TLC---saw a 75 year old couple up with a 25 year old. Really??? Ewwwwww. But wait...there's still HOPE!! HAHA!)
Anyways...After a couple of weeks I get bored/frustrated with the process and shut my profile down. Only to restart it a few months later. I'm actually trying to figure out how else to meet men. I've spent the last 23 years taking care of my daughter and not putting much effort into meeting men...and those I did date were usually old classmates or people I happened to run into. Lately, I've been going out with a few of my girlfriends for a couple of drinks and some dancing....but I have yet to meet anyone from scene either. I think I'm and outgoing person, but to initiate that first hello for the first time...no way!! Maybe it's the fear of rejection??0 -
I joined because I don't go out .. at all. I don't want to date anyone in my small little town as I am sure they have all slept with each other.
I also discovered that there are many many hot men in the NYC area .. lol. too bad I don't live there.0 -
I'm a jumper...I jump on and off one of the on-line dating websites almost as often as the seasons change. I haven't been on one in a few months, and was just thinking this morning that I should re-activate my account. I think 50% of the men that messaged me were in their early 20s--asking me if I would date a younger man. My daughter is 23, and I'm 46...so I'm thinking it wouldn't be too cool to date someone her age (although the other night I was flipping though TV channels and came across Extreme Cougars on TLC---saw a 75 year old couple up with a 25 year old. Really??? Ewwwwww. But wait...there's still HOPE!! HAHA!)
Anyways...After a couple of weeks I get bored/frustrated with the process and shut my profile down. Only to restart it a few months later. I'm actually trying to figure out how else to meet men. I've spent the last 23 years taking care of my daughter and not putting much effort into meeting men...and those I did date were usually old classmates or people I happened to run into. Lately, I've been going out with a few of my girlfriends for a couple of drinks and some dancing....but I have yet to meet anyone from scene either. I think I'm and outgoing person, but to initiate that first hello for the first time...no way!! Maybe it's the fear of rejection??
So would you go out with someone 20 years younger if he was your ideal type (let's say he was in good shape, good jobs, normal e-mails, etc)? Or is the age thing a definite deal breaker?0 -
I used it as an ice breaker. When we meet in person, I find it easier to hold a conversation.
I met my bf there and I am quite the happy camper.0 -
I used it as an ice breaker. When we meet in person, I find it easier to hold a conversation.
I met my bf there and I am quite the happy camper.
How is the boyfriend? Has he been keeping the apartment clean or did he hire a cleaning lady? :laugh:0
