Dating in a Non-Paleo World

JohnNull

I'm returning to the dating scene after about 12 years or so (yay.). It's kind of weird seeing these ages pop up. Those numbers don't go down, do they?

Anyhow, now I'm encountering the fallout that people are experiencing from a lifetime of the standard American diet. Granted, there are situations that absolutely require medication, but really, water pills? Seriously? And now the excuse is "at this point in my life, I want to enjoy cupcakes". Fine.

Not really a rant or a complaint, but it's just kind of an odd place to be.

Discuss, berate, or ignore. Go.

Zeromilediet

Hard to find someone who shares an understanding that what one eats has an impact on health. Nothing to do with weight issues, but inflammation that presents as joint pain, skin rashes, or whatever ... well, some weight type issues like the belly. The latter is common in my age group (50s) but disappears eating paleo. However friends and family think it's "luck" that I have the energy, vitality and am active as someone 20 years younger. They're not prepared to give up bagels or cereal ... somehow they want those more than they want the pain gone. People readily accept taking all kinds of pills and medication these days--sad. There must be paleo dating sites by now, or looking into google+ rather than trying to convert someone?

sarbar71

Well, it would be ideal to date other paleo/primal individuals, but if your town is like mine, most have never even heard of primal eating. Needless to say, it is still more than possible to exist in a relationship where you have different ways of eating - not ideal, but do-able. I am primal - my husband and kids aren't. I wish I could get them to join me, but there is not a whole lot of interest as of yet. So - we make do. I make Primal recipes that I can dress up a little for my husband. Adding a pasta side dish and some bread makes him so happy that he forgets that all the other food he is eating is "real" food. Big victory for both of us. The longer I eat this way, the more open my family is to eat the food. With time, I hope that my husband will make the choice for himself. If you find yourself in a committed relationship, she will see how happy and healthy you are and will probably eventually come around.

Water pills??? Wow! If I was in my 30's or 40's and taking water pills I would never admit that to a date - LOL!! Just be glad that's them and not you!

Akimajuktuq

Well, I've been single for quite awhile and the older that I get the happier I am with my singleness.

My last attempt at online dating was a fail. I was very patient and understanding, but in all honesty I am no longer attracted to people who are letting their health fall apart. No, it's not "normal" at age 52 to have arthritis and to be getting joints replaced. He actually stopped writing me, likely my passion about health got annoying, but I can't say that I'm disappointed. At all. Age 52, depressed, arthritic, fat, smoking pot incessantly to deal with chronic pain (but better than pharmaceuticals imo). No thanks.

I think that if I ever meet anyone that I intend to get serious with, they will have to be just as health-focused as I am. That doesn't mean that I can't accept that someone who can eat rice and legumes, but as long as they eat a mostly healthful, minimally processed diet, are not vegan, and are open to my high fat, zero grain/legume lifestyle then I think it might be doable.

JohnNull

Thanks for the input. I am certainly not "that guy" who's interested in converting people with no interest. But I think we all have encountered people that complain or ask questions, and then proceed to dismiss all you say. "Can't save 'em all" has been my refrain.

When I jumped off the vegetarian train long ago, I was happy to cook two different meals. It was a lot of extra work, but I accepted it.

I foresee that as what is to be. Just new to me.

Thanks again for the input.

divemunkey

I kind of have that issue, too. I am tying REALLY hard to be the healthiest person I can be right now, and I want to be with somebody who can be supportive of that. Ideally, I could find somebody who eats very clean at least. Most of the guys I find who show interest in me are "foodies", carrying a good 75 extra pounds and no plans to shed the fat and eat better. Anybody I express interest in isn't interested in a work in progress, so that's ok. I guess I have to content myself with being single, it's worked for me for the last 15 years, I'm sure I'd find a way to manage the next 50 on my own.

babymaddux

if i ever get to that point again, i will probably end up doing the same. a meal for the two of us, and rice or pasta etc on the side. i have no intention of living on prescription drugs for 30+ years so if i can make positive changes while i'm still relatively young then that's what i'm going to do. i don't plan on preaching to anyone else, or trying to change them, but i do at least need them to respect my dietary choices.
it turns my stomach to see the number of pills my friend has to take following bypass surgery, and she will be on those til she dies. whatever i can do to avoid that lifestyle i'll do!

MissXFit13

I went out with a guy who went on a tirade about how mad he was when he found out that a girl he was going out on a few dates with had health issues and ate gluten free. He boldly proclaimed "I refuse to date someone who doesn't eat bread, she should have disclosed that upfront". Little did he know of my diet and lifestyle, so that was the last time we saw each other. When he called me to hang out again, I said "Oh, you wouldn't want me. I don't eat bread".

Loser.

Anyways, I found it very difficult to go out and meet people and learn how to broach the topic of eating paleo. Even more challenging was that most guys wanted to go out to dinner for first dates (pizza and Italian restaurants, eek!). Luckily, I've found someone who tolerates and respects my eating habits and is willing to eat healthier, but hasn't quite yet taken the plunge into primal/paleo lifestyle.

Vmg773

It is hard. I've found it doesn't need to be an explanation. I'm a grown woman, I put in my body what I want to.
That being said, I do it about 75% of the time, so it's easier for me to schedule a little wiggle room for dating....i'm on the eternal quest to find balance.

MrsDirtyCF

I started on a Journey to better health 2 and 1/2 years ago while I was in a 3 year relationship. Ultimatley, I lost weight, became fit, and was led to Paleo eating which has changed my life in ways I never could have imagined. But these changes also led to the demise of that relationship (which was definitley another toxic aspect of my life that needed to be gotten rid of) and then to meeting a wonderful mant that supports me 100 % although I doubt he would ever adopt these strict changes for himself. While dating, I found plenty of med that liked the results of fitness and nutrition, but few that wanted a woman willing to do what it took to be her best. I never lost hope, and in 9 days, I will be married to the first man ever in my life to understand that putting myself and my health first does not take anything from him, only adds to our life together!

bostonwolf

I went out with a guy who went on a tirade about how mad he was when he found out that a girl he was going out on a few dates with had health issues and ate gluten free. He boldly proclaimed "I refuse to date someone who doesn't eat bread, she should have disclosed that upfront". Little did he know of my diet and lifestyle, so that was the last time we saw each other. When he called me to hang out again, I said "Oh, you wouldn't want me. I don't eat bread".

Loser.

Anyways, I found it very difficult to go out and meet people and learn how to broach the topic of eating paleo. Even more challenging was that most guys wanted to go out to dinner for first dates (pizza and Italian restaurants, eek!). Luckily, I've found someone who tolerates and respects my eating habits and is willing to eat healthier, but hasn't quite yet taken the plunge into primal/paleo lifestyle.

Great story, the stupidity of our fellow humans knows no bounds.

My wife eats like total crap. Processed everything. I've been doing Paleo/Primal/Slow Carb on and off for a few years and finally buckled down two months ago and the results have been dramatic. I have a long way to go to get to my target weight and body fat %, but I'm hoping that seeing continued results from what I'm doing will influence her at least a little bit.

I'm at the point (I'll be 43 in April) where it's time to **** or get off the pot. I need to get my *kitten* in shape right now or it is never going to happen. So now it is.

Bumbeen

I went out with a guy who went on a tirade about how mad he was when he found out that a girl he was going out on a few dates with had health issues and ate gluten free. He boldly proclaimed "I refuse to date someone who doesn't eat bread, she should have disclosed that upfront". Little did he know of my diet and lifestyle, so that was the last time we saw each other. When he called me to hang out again, I said "Oh, you wouldn't want me. I don't eat bread".

Loser.

Anyways, I found it very difficult to go out and meet people and learn how to broach the topic of eating paleo. Even more challenging was that most guys wanted to go out to dinner for first dates (pizza and Italian restaurants, eek!). Luckily, I've found someone who tolerates and respects my eating habits and is willing to eat healthier, but hasn't quite yet taken the plunge into primal/paleo lifestyle.

Hmmm. This makes me think I should just make a profile on pof that says I eat paleo and let them flock to me...

divemunkey

Hmmm. This makes me think I should just make a profile on pof that says I eat paleo and let them flock to me...

I can prove they don't! lol Nobody even reads profiles on POF, or any other dating site, it appears.

hilliardjoe

Even more challenging was that most guys wanted to go out to dinner for first dates (pizza and Italian restaurants, eek!).

I wonder what the response would be if you said you weren't a fan of Italian and said something about grabbing a steak somewhere. Of course Italian is generally cheaper than a steak house so that may be driving that choice.

I've found that most Italian places have decent non-pasta meals also.

MissXFit13

I went out with a guy who went on a tirade about how mad he was when he found out that a girl he was going out on a few dates with had health issues and ate gluten free. He boldly proclaimed "I refuse to date someone who doesn't eat bread, she should have disclosed that upfront". Little did he know of my diet and lifestyle, so that was the last time we saw each other. When he called me to hang out again, I said "Oh, you wouldn't want me. I don't eat bread".

Loser.

Anyways, I found it very difficult to go out and meet people and learn how to broach the topic of eating paleo. Even more challenging was that most guys wanted to go out to dinner for first dates (pizza and Italian restaurants, eek!). Luckily, I've found someone who tolerates and respects my eating habits and is willing to eat healthier, but hasn't quite yet taken the plunge into primal/paleo lifestyle.

Hmmm. This makes me think I should just make a profile on pof that says I eat paleo and let them flock to me...

I actually did seek out and message a guy simply because his profile said he did Crossfit and ate Paleo. He introduced me to my Crossfit box, and while we weren't a fit romantically, we had a fantastic dinner and conversation together!

AmIhealthyyet

Funny topic! I weighed 125 pounds during my first marriage of 18 years. After my divorce I hit 189 in just a few years. I ran into a friend who I hadn't seen since I was 20 and he informed me that I was as beautiful as ever. He then asked is he could give my number to his best friend who had been single for ten years. When his friend called I informed him of how I looked, we continued for another month to talk on the phone. On our first date I met a handsome, kind man who ate primal all the time (with out naming it such) I washed my fries down with beers as we talked for hours. We got married less then a year later. I am so glad he saw more than what I ate and realized I was a work in progress. We have been married just over 3 years now and as I get serious for the first time in years with my health he is cheering me on!

JohnNull

Kerrek: Your original post earned an audible chuckle!

AmIhealthyyet: Congratulations, that's awesome!