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The #5 dating mistake....

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  • RunIntheMud
    RunIntheMud Posts: 2,645 Member

    You know what ELSE I would love to do? I would really, really, love to find a way to talk to her and find out what problems SHE had with HIM.

    Don't you think her view would be rather biased?? lol

    Imagine if we all had to write a report on our ex, like a public notice!! I dont think anyone would find another partner!!! lol

    I think people have different experiences with different people. Which is why some people are right for each other, and some people are not.

    I absolutely agree with this. I had an ex-wife try to give me her opinion of the man I was dating. I smiled and told her that the issues they years ago had nothing to do with the relationship that we currently were in. She looked at me like I was crazy. I walked away...

    We all break up with people for a variety of different reasons. Why dwell on the mistakes someone made with another person in the past? As long as you are working well together that should be all that matters.
  • julesboots
    julesboots Posts: 311 Member

    Now, when it comes to kids....it should be assumed that if you are dating someone with kids that there is still a relationship of sorts between that person and their ex. They have to talk with their ex about custody & support arrangements. The amount of actual drama depends on each person. But, I make sure to keep the man in my life out of this part of my life. It's really not his business other than to know what my schedule looks like. If things progress into a marital situation, then that changes slightly, but still not that much.

    The halcyon days before children and divorce! (But- I think all of it has made me crazy resilient and better at my job- so there's good)

    Keeping it at schedules is probably a good idea- had not occurred to me to define it that clearly. Interactions with my ex are few, but nobody needs to know his scene- that makes me look like an idiot for having been with him for 7 yrs.
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
    nobody needs to know his scene- that makes me look like an idiot for having been with him for 7 yrs.

    Lol me too but for 8.5!!!
  • _jk0g_
    _jk0g_ Posts: 238 Member
    Right after my divorce I thought I had to bing it up because I felt like I had to prove myself to be the "good guy" in the situation. I wanted to prove that I don't take vows lightly. But, instead of showing that, I ended coming off as having more drama than a lot of men wanted to deal with. That went on for about my first year of dating.

    Now I don't bring up my ex at all because I know the man I'm dating will. I'd rather just wait for him to do it and I answer only the questions he asks. I don't get too far into the details of my ex, however I do make sure that the man I'm dating knows what he's walking into (in regards to the kids and my life). As the relationship grows, he learns more.

    ^^Thank you^^

    I am recently seperated and haven't stepped back into the dating pool yet, but I am have been wondering how to handle this situation. I have children so I can't hide the fact that I was once married.

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