NOT a quick question. I need a fairy Godmother(father) HELP

skrentz

I just need help PLEASE.
I have been doing what I though was EM2WL for months, since late summer, early fall. Haven't done a full reset since frankly I am at my heaviest and don't know if I can handle that mentally right now. I did do a self imposed reset from Dec. 7 - Jan. 7 since I moved to a totally new city (where I didn't know a single person) and didn't have a gym membership and I basically ate what I wanted - within reason over the holidays, (Much less than I would have normally) and gave my body a big break from working out.

I have been lifting heavy weights for just over a year. Mostly doing Strong lifts 5X5 and some smaller muscle groups during- kind of like a circuit. Things like triceps, biceps, planks and light weight shoulder stuff.
My week looks like this
2-3 days 20 minute total of interval on the precore (elliptical) machine. 10 mins of interval for speed..45 sec slow normal 30 sec. very fast, then I do 10 min of easier intervals.. 1 min normal, 1 min backwards and 1 min at a high resistance ...repeat. Then I do 5X5 with smaller muscles in a circuit work out that takes me just over an hour including rest times. so about 80 min total
1-2 days I do 20 min elliptical then 20-30 min of cardio on Sworkit Pro- basically a boot camp type circuit or 20 core workout again on Sworkit Pro. Then 20 min easy jog/walk on the tread mill and then 10 min stretching so again like 80 min.
I take 2 or 3 days completely off.

So now my stats.
39 female 4'10" current weight 140 and current body fat is 32%.
I have figured and refigured my Tdee, Bmr, blah blah over and over again depending on what I think should do...which board, info I have looked at last. I try a number, panic and try something else.
I am heavier than I have ever been when I wasn't 8 months pregnant. My happy weight as an adult (up till my second child was born) was 115-118, but I was never muscular. right now I can see my muscles (under a bunch of fat) and I am getting strength gains, but no loss of weight, inches or BF%.
I rarely eat fast food, and cook for myself and family for almost all mealt. I am a stay at home Mom with a gym membership, but not a workout partner. I have been currently eating BMR +100 cals and eating all earned workout calories and my goal is to drastically lower my BF% and be strong, toned and fit into my clothes. I don't NEED a number on the scale, but would like all my workouts to show. Right now people look at me like I am crazy when I tell them I love to lift weights since I don't look like it Boo HOO

Thanks for reading this whole thing!! I am looking for someone who has the time and inclination to really help me figure out a plan..
Thank you! thank you!

Gapwedge01

I just need help PLEASE.
I have been doing what I though was EM2WL for months, since late summer, early fall. Haven't done a full reset since frankly I am at my heaviest and don't know if I can handle that mentally right now. I did do a self imposed reset from Dec. 7 - Jan. 7 since I moved to a totally new city (where I didn't know a single person) and didn't have a gym membership and I basically ate what I wanted - within reason over the holidays, (Much less than I would have normally) and gave my body a big break from working out.

I have been lifting heavy weights for just over a year. Mostly doing Strong lifts 5X5 and some smaller muscle groups during- kind of like a circuit. Things like triceps, biceps, planks and light weight shoulder stuff.
My week looks like this
2-3 days 20 minute total of interval on the precore (elliptical) machine. 10 mins of interval for speed..45 sec slow normal 30 sec. very fast, then I do 10 min of easier intervals.. 1 min normal, 1 min backwards and 1 min at a high resistance ...repeat. Then I do 5X5 with smaller muscles in a circuit work out that takes me just over an hour including rest times. so about 80 min total
1-2 days I do 20 min elliptical then 20-30 min of cardio on Sworkit Pro- basically a boot camp type circuit or 20 core workout again on Sworkit Pro. Then 20 min easy jog/walk on the tread mill and then 10 min stretching so again like 80 min.
I take 2 or 3 days completely off.

So now my stats.
39 female 4'10" current weight 140 and current body fat is 32%.
I have figured and refigured my Tdee, Bmr, blah blah over and over again depending on what I think should do...which board, info I have looked at last. I try a number, panic and try something else.
I am heavier than I have ever been when I wasn't 8 months pregnant. My happy weight as an adult (up till my second child was born) was 115-118, but I was never muscular. right now I can see my muscles (under a bunch of fat) and I am getting strength gains, but no loss of weight, inches or BF%.
I rarely eat fast food, and cook for myself and family for almost all mealt. I am a stay at home Mom with a gym membership, but not a workout partner. I have been currently eating BMR +100 cals and eating all earned workout calories and my goal is to drastically lower my BF% and be strong, toned and fit into my clothes. I don't NEED a number on the scale, but would like all my workouts to show. Right now people look at me like I am crazy when I tell them I love to lift weights since I don't look like it Boo HOO

Thanks for reading this whole thing!! I am looking for someone who has the time and inclination to really help me figure out a plan..
Thank you! thank you!

Just a couple of questions for starters.

Since you know your BF have you calculated your BMR/TDEE using the Katch McArdle this: http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/ ? What are your numbers from this based upon your exercise pattern in hours per week?

How faithful are you to log EVERY calorie that goes into your mouth? Are your portion sizes measured rather than "eyeballed"? The reason I ask is 2 of the biggest contributors to gaining or plateauing is underestimating your calories eaten and overestimating your calories burned.

Now, if your TDEE has the correct activity factor then you would NOT eat back any exercise calories.

If you don't feel you need a reset (and I am guessing you have read the stickies at the top) then a 15% cut from your TDEE should be your calorie goal.

Hope this gets you started.

CanGirl40

Have you been logging faithfully? Are you counting every bite/underestimating your caloric intake? I am a mom too and it wasn't until I started logging *everything* (i.e. scraps from the kids plates, etc. ) that I realized just how many little bites here and there were really adding up!

I would go with TDEE-15% and NOT eat back exercise calories.

Hope that helps. I can feel your frustration!!!

misskym

Have you been logging faithfully? Are you counting every bite/underestimating your caloric intake? I am a mom too and it wasn't until I started logging *everything* (i.e. scraps from the kids plates, etc. ) that I realized just how many little bites here and there were really adding up!

I would go with TDEE-15% and NOT eat back exercise calories.

Hope that helps. I can feel your frustration!!!

How do you track your bites from the kids' plates? I do the same thing, but I have a hard time tracking that!

amandacepstein

I'm not sure I can help, but I can identify!! I also have great muscles underneath a layer of fat and I'm like, what????

I can help the moms who eat kids' food:
I eat the kids scraps and try my best to log it as soon as I can, or it's too easy to forget. I measure some food, so I eyeball it and I change the portion size to match. My standby scrap is the PB&J crusts. I weighed them once to see how much they are and then if I eat them, I log that portion size. I also regularly drink one ounce of my daughter's smoothie and replace it with heavy cream to balance her macros better. I log that as 1/10 of the bottle. Tonight I ate my son's ramen noodles. I looked and guessed it was about 1/3 of the package based on how much I'd served him.

amandacepstein

see my reply below. But I MUST add, if it's just gonna be a bite or two, I'd rather not eat it, because I don't want to figure out how to log it!!

heybales

Any reason you want to do so much cardio as opposed to lifting?

Just doing the smaller muscles isn't much of an impact, not as much as the big muscles of course. And does circuit mean more of a cardio flavor to it? That's what that usually means, minimal rest between different lifts then come back again.
To really overload a muscle, you gotta hit it hard with fresh muscles pretty much all at once. Failure or almost failure is because of the heavy load placed on the muscles, and requires adaptation by growing stronger better. Circuit is usually just tiring the muscle out, which is a different load requiring more glucose to endure longer.

If you think all the cardio is for weight loss, it's not as much, it just raises your TDEE and is a good reason to have a smaller deficit too.

Lifting good and heavy for you will make a smaller TDEE and better deficit, and will show more for the effort done.

Now, if you do want to include lower body lifting, don't wear out the muscles first doing those intervals and such. 15 min easy warmup is all you need, elliptical is good because it'll get the arms too. After workout what ever you have strength for. Those types of intervals though are really just going to wear you out, but not really good improvement.

Since you like to lift, may I suggest focus on that. Figure your activity level at Moderately Active, using Katch BMR since you have BF% estimate.

3 x weekly
15 easy elliptical for warmup.
60 min heavy lifting, compound, biggest muscles first, 5x5, 3x10, whatever sets x reps gives failure on the last few reps of last set. 1 min rest between sets, maybe 2 between lifts.
15 elliptical for cooldown.

1 x weekly proceeding the lift day
Up to 60 min jogging in Aerobic HR zone or less. If you find it harder to lift the next day, drop it lower.

1 x weekly after 2nd lifting day
Up to 60 min cardio of choice in Active Recovery HR zone, badly called fat-burning zone.

Don't do the boot camp stuff day after lifting heavy, you'll just kill a full repair.

That should allow you to get the max out of the lifting, by going into it with refreshed muscles ready to push a load, and day after gentle enough to actually recover and repair and get stronger from that load.

skrentz

Thank you all so much for the feeback!! I am recommitting to measuring and weighing my food. Since my kids are a bit older the scraps aren't such a problem - the real problem is a couple spoonfulls of Mac n Cheese before they even eat. So sick, but I love that fake orange "cheesy" stuff. I do log it though.
Heybales, thanks for the workout guidelines. I am going to try that with less cardio. Even though I have been (Trying) to follow this for a long time, I just can't seem to wrap my head around burning less calories during my actual workout. But my way is NOT working, so I am going to try this.
I got the book New rules for lifting supercharged.. might try that, but I love the simplicity of 5X5.. way less thinking while working out. Hate to drag around the notebook.
Again thanks for all your time!

amanda_gent

@heybales - you have said this a couple of times and while I understand how it lowers TDEE I don't get what you mean about making it a better deficit, plus what if you WANT a higher TDEE because you want to be able to eat more? For me, as a smaller *older* woman, if I didn't do cardio, my TDEE would be around 1600 - 1700 which feels kinda sad.

"Lifting good and heavy for you will make a smaller TDEE and better deficit, and will show more for the effort done."

@skrentz - I totally agree that the diligent logging and weighing of food is where it's at. At least, I know that's the issue for me. I KNOW if we all could eat exactly at our correct deficits we'd lose weight (if someone would prepare, weigh, and log all that for us, pretty please). Wish we could all go to a spa for a few weeks like the stars do and let someone else do all that work.

I have to say, I really don't get the eating the kids scraps thing - yuck! There's an easy way to simplify our logging and make it easier for ourselves - eat your own food and either save the kids' scraps for the kids for later (though doubtful they'd eat them), give them to the dog or put them out for the raccoons. Mothers are not human garbage cans!

heybales

@heybales - you have said this a couple of times and while I understand how it lowers TDEE I don't get what you mean about making it a better deficit, plus what if you WANT a higher TDEE because you want to be able to eat more? For me, as a smaller *older* woman, if I didn't do cardio, my TDEE would be around 1600 - 1700 which feels kinda sad.

"Lifting good and heavy for you will make a smaller TDEE and better deficit, and will show more for the effort done."

Well, strength training in the studies with steep deficits is the exercise that retains muscle, even allows gaining LBM in a smaller deficit and increasing metabolism then.

So not only a smaller TDEE because lifting burns less calories than equal time doing cardio (unless cardio is very gentle), but what might be a safe deficit of 15% for mainly cardio can become 20% if mainly lifting focused.

So better in the sense of faster but safer weight and fat loss.

Not better in the sense of needing to eat less. In addition, it can be tougher mentally, because the body really wants to make improvements with lifting, and with less eaten, it is forced to use fat as fuel more during recovery, and you usually will be more hungry. Progress in performance of course would be slower too with steeper deficit.

So beneficial from aspect of weight loss, bummer from several other aspects. Depends on what is more important during the journey, and that may change.

And correct for those with smaller BMR's, cardio about only way to get the TDEE up there to allow eating more. Especially at a deficit. But you can still arrange the workouts for good focus on lifting, and cardio supports that.

amanda_gent

Got it - thanks HeyBales - and glad I'm doing the right things at the moment. Yes, for sure, lifting makes me hungrier than cardio. Guess my body really wants to build some muscles!

amandacepstein

I have to say, I really don't get the eating the kids scraps thing - yuck! There's an easy way to simplify our logging and make it easier for ourselves - eat your own food and either save the kids' scraps for the kids for later (though doubtful they'd eat them), give them to the dog or put them out for the raccoons. Mothers are not human garbage cans!

I agree with the garbage can thing - but we don't have racoons or dogs -- and I only eat the things I like (mac n cheese, PB&J), when I am hungry. It's considerably less than I used to. It was a lifesaver when they were really little, because otherwise I wouldn't have eaten at all!!

FutureFitAuthor

@amanda_gent Thanks for the great question! I learned along with you!

@heybales Thanks for answering so many peoples questions. I learn so much from all of your responses! I read so much more than I post...so just wanted to let you know that the time you spend on these forums answering questions is greatly appreciated!

graysmom2005

I have nothing better to add but wanted to chime in on how hard it is with bites of things...ESPECIALLY for me is the kids mac and cheese! I have no idea how to log a bite of something...but I do anyway. My deficits are usually large so I figure I have wiggle room, but that's a bad mentality to have. You aren't alone on that one!