Deal breakers
Replies
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I dated one woman who was seperated and I'll never do it again. As far as moving away from his kids, my uncle divorced when my cousins were around 10 and 12. He moved three hours away. He made the drive every other weekend to their mom's house and either brought them back to his place, took them to our grandparent's house or stayed in town and did things there. When the oldest could drive, my uncle bought him a car so he could do some of the driving.
I think you need to take a look at the signs and not make broad statements that living X hours away from the kids automatically means disinterested father. There was a hell of a lot of effort on my uncle's part. He certainly isn't a self-absobed hedonist. About a year after his divorce, he met his second wife. They dated about 2 years before marrying and have been together for about the last 30 years.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make the broad statement of X hours...there are exceptions and a committed father like your uncle would win my heart in a minute if everything else meshed with us. I have just met a a lot of men that are willing to pack up, leave their kids behind and start a "new" family. It's a major turnoff to me.
Other dealbreakers for me would be.... excessive drinking/going out, drug use, no ambition, rude to others (especially his family)0 -
Must love animals.0
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I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make the broad statement of X hours...there are exceptions and a committed father like your uncle would win my heart in a minute if everything else meshed with us. I have just met a a lot of men that are willing to pack up, leave their kids behind and start a "new" family. It's a major turnoff to me.
Other dealbreakers for me would be.... excessive drinking/going out, drug use, no ambition, rude to others (especially his family)
Not a problem. I was using my uncle as an example. There are plenty of men who live 6 blocks away who don't bother to see their kids. My only point was that you should take the time to learn the situation and not summarily dismiss someone because he has kids and they don't live nearby. Especially in this day and age where there is Skype and other technologies.0 -
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make the broad statement of X hours...there are exceptions and a committed father like your uncle would win my heart in a minute if everything else meshed with us. I have just met a a lot of men that are willing to pack up, leave their kids behind and start a "new" family. It's a major turnoff to me.
Other dealbreakers for me would be.... excessive drinking/going out, drug use, no ambition, rude to others (especially his family)
Not a problem. I was using my uncle as an example. There are plenty of men who live 6 blocks away who don't bother to see their kids. My only point was that you should take the time to learn the situation and not summarily dismiss someone because he has kids and they don't live nearby. Especially in this day and age where there is Skype and other technologies.
Oh, I won't automatically dismiss a man because of the distance. Usually the proximity of a child and father's involvement isn't something that's brought up until a few dates in.....I like to get to know a man before talking "kids". So, I will talk to him about the whole situation before deciding. My deal breaker is definitely not a broad "If you don't live a block from your kids, I'll have nothing to do with you", it's more to do with "how involved are you" and "how involved do you try to be". Shoot...last guy I dated lived here in VA and his daughter was in Germany......the mother fled and he's been fighting for years to get her back. This showed dedication to me. Again, all situational. :flowerforyou:0 -
i'm curiour to know more about what are deal breakers for guys...0
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i'm curiour to know more about what are deal breakers for guys...
Just like women, it varies from person to person.0 -
i'm curiour to know more about what are deal breakers for guys...
1) Must not judge me because they've had an ex that had the same hobby as me (nothin sucks more than being judged right out of the gate)...perfect example...video games, I enjoy them occasionally, but I'm not going to be a hermit and never want to go out, trust me I'd much rather be spending time with my significant other than ignoring them in a virtual world).
2) Must not make me feel like I'm doing all the initiating (this one is tough, but it drives me crazy if I feel like I'm constantly doing all the talking and they refuse to give me any input)
3) Disrespecting others because you don't agree and/or understand where they are coming from...I really try not to be a judgmental person and hope I can find someone who can see things from others point of view.
4) Almost forgot to add this one...having goals in life is a must, i've been with a few women who are content doing nothing with their life and would rather just party and float along...I have goals and find myself driven to them, so I have problems relating to those who don't.
And...well the others that have been covered before such as racism, sexism, religious obsession, etc...0 -
i'm curiour to know more about what are deal breakers for guys...
1) Smoker. I can be friends with someone who smokes but I can't be in a relationship with a smoker.
2) Religious, goes to church every Sunday type. I'm I think the word is agnostic. On the fence about it all. I never cared for going to church. It's just not for me. If she is the church going type and is ok with me not going, then great. Otherwise it wouldn't work out in the long run.
3) Couch potato, a girl who isn't active at all. I'm by no means an athlete with single digit body fat %, nor am I looking to only date an extremely fit girl. I need a girl who at least cares about being active. I used to live a rather sedentary lifestyle in the past and I can't ever see myself going back to that let alone be with someone who is.
4) Racist, anti-gay. Yeah, no. I'm straight but I can't be someone who feels that way.
5) Height. Anybody under 5 feet would just be too awkward. My back hurts thinking about it. :laugh:0 -
5) Height. Anybody under 5 feet would just be too awkward. My back hurts thinking about it. :laugh:
It's not your back you need worry about!!!!!! :laugh:0 -
5) Height. Anybody under 5 feet would just be too awkward. My back hurts thinking about it. :laugh:
It's not your back you need worry about!!!!!! :laugh:
The term "I'd climb that like a tree" comes to mind - Anna, you should get a shirt that says that! Haha0 -
The term "I'd climb that like a tree" comes to mind - Anna, you should get a shirt that says that! Haha
:laugh: love this!0 -
5) Height. Anybody under 5 feet would just be too awkward. My back hurts thinking about it. :laugh:
It's not your back you need worry about!!!!!! :laugh:
What is it?0 -
-close minded (racist, sexist, can't respect other peoples differences),rude to others,
- no ambition, no self esteem
- excessive drug use (occasional pot is ok with me), excessive drinking/partying,
- too much drama (my ex was quite the drama queen (king :laugh:) and a victim of life)
- under 5'5 (because I feel i'm molesting the poor guy having my knees next to his ears while doing the deed) :laugh:0 -
- under 5'5 (because I feel i'm molesting the poor guy having my knees next to his ears while doing the deed) :laugh:
LoL, I started envisioning positions where your knees would be next to his ears, lol...0 -
5) Height. Anybody under 5 feet would just be too awkward. My back hurts thinking about it. :laugh:
It's not your back you need worry about!!!!!! :laugh:
What is it?
his willie!! :bigsmile: Do Americans even use that word?? lol0 -
My deal breakers are: racist, uneducated, No goals, smoker, and hate kids.0
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Not hard-working.
Spends money stupidly.
Has-self entitlement without justification.
Height ideally around 5"10' ( just a personal preference as it feels weird to me otherwise.)0 -
Height ideally around 5"10' ( just a personal preference as it feels weird to me otherwise.)
Define... "around"0 -
Height ideally around 5"10' ( just a personal preference as it feels weird to me otherwise.)
Define... "around"
Well the tallest I've dated is 6"2' and the shortest is 5"8'.0 -
Height ideally around 5"10' ( just a personal preference as it feels weird to me otherwise.)
Define... "around"
Well the tallest I've dated is 6"2' and the shortest is 5"8'.
Boooooooooooooo0 -
Height ideally around 5"10' ( just a personal preference as it feels weird to me otherwise.)
Define... "around"
Well the tallest I've dated is 6"2' and the shortest is 5"8'.
Boooooooooooooo
I've been with as low as 5'3 and as tall as 5'90 -
Not hard-working.
Spends money stupidly.
Has-self entitlement without justification.
Height ideally around 5"10' ( just a personal preference as it feels weird to me otherwise.)
How tall are you then?
Not really liking all these short *kitten* haters.........lol0 -
Not hard-working.
Spends money stupidly.
Has-self entitlement without justification.
Height ideally around 5"10' ( just a personal preference as it feels weird to me otherwise.)
How tall are you then?
Not really liking all these short *kitten* haters.........lol
6"5'
I'm not hating on people shorter than me, it just easier to do things togethor with someone closer to my height .0 -
Height ideally around 5"10' ( just a personal preference as it feels weird to me otherwise.)
Define... "around"
Well the tallest I've dated is 6"2' and the shortest is 5"8'.
Boooooooooooooo
I've been with as low as 5'3 and as tall as 5'9
Yaaaaaaaaaaay!
Nevermind Dio, I don't need you .0 -
Not hard-working.
Spends money stupidly.
Has-self entitlement without justification.
Height ideally around 5"10' ( just a personal preference as it feels weird to me otherwise.)
How tall are you then?
Not really liking all these short *kitten* haters.........lol
6"5'
I'm not hating on people shorter than me, it just easier to do things togethor with someone closer to my height .
Bah. Lame excuse. I've been with guys as tall as 6'7" and never had any problems. :yawn:0 -
Not hard-working.
Spends money stupidly.
Has-self entitlement without justification.
Height ideally around 5"10' ( just a personal preference as it feels weird to me otherwise.)
How tall are you then?
Not really liking all these short *kitten* haters.........lol
6"5'
I'm not hating on people shorter than me, it just easier to do things togethor with someone closer to my height .
Bah. Lame excuse. I've been with guys as tall as 6'7" and never had any problems. :yawn:
Really you can take it easily? :laugh:
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Not hard-working.
Spends money stupidly.
Has-self entitlement without justification.
Height ideally around 5"10' ( just a personal preference as it feels weird to me otherwise.)
How tall are you then?
Not really liking all these short *kitten* haters.........lol
6"5'
I'm not hating on people shorter than me, it just easier to do things togethor with someone closer to my height .
Bah. Lame excuse. I've been with guys as tall as 6'7" and never had any problems. :yawn:
Really you can take it easily? :laugh:
Hey, careful now, my kegels could kick your *kitten*! :laugh:0 -
some more deal breakers...
Men terrified of emotional vulnerability/inability to really be in a relationship and commit
Sexually repressed and/or a very low sex drive
Lack of sense of humour
Shorter than 5'110 -
Not hard-working.
Spends money stupidly.
Has-self entitlement without justification.
Height ideally around 5"10' ( just a personal preference as it feels weird to me otherwise.)
How tall are you then?
Not really liking all these short *kitten* haters.........lol
6"5'
I'm not hating on people shorter than me, it just easier to do things togethor with someone closer to my height .
It's nice to see a tall guy who likes tall women! In my experience, the tall guys always go for the shorter girls. (My dad, for example, is 6'5... and his wife is like 5'4. Lol?!?!)0 -
Not hard-working.
Spends money stupidly.
Has-self entitlement without justification.
Height ideally around 5"10' ( just a personal preference as it feels weird to me otherwise.)
How tall are you then?
Not really liking all these short *kitten* haters.........lol
6"5'
I'm not hating on people shorter than me, it just easier to do things togethor with someone closer to my height .
It's nice to see a tall guy who likes tall women! In my experience, the tall guys always go for the shorter girls. (My dad, for example, is 6'5... and his wife is like 5'4. Lol?!?!)
did someone say tall guys YUM!
oh back to deal breakers - if they are short (less than 5'10"
#1. if they still dress like, act like, or party like they are still in college.
#2. if they are a momma's boy or doesnt have a good relationship with his mom (either extreme is bad)
#3. if he doesn't like kids (I want kids one day)
#5 if he drinks a lot (see #1)
#6 if his friends are more important to him than me
#7 if they are way too religious (IDK why but this freaks me out)
#8 if they aren't chivalrous
gosh i have more but i will stop here haha0
