Do your family and friends know?

kge0891

Hey everyone,

So I've been wondering, do your family and friends know about your binge-eating tendencies?

Mine don't. I've never been brave enough to tell anyone. Partly because I am so ashamed. And now I'm at this bizarre cross-road where half my friends on MFP are from my binge-eating support group, and the other half are family and friends with no clue about my binge-eating disorder and probably wondering why my weight loss has stalled this past couple of months. I'm afraid people won't understand. Many people don't believe BED is real, and that we are just making excuses to eat and not trying hard enough. I think this is why I go back and forth between an open and closed diary too. I want to log my binges, and I will, but I don't want my family and friends to see that I've gone over my calorie goal by 1500+ calories from eating junk. Guess I'm just wondering about everyone else, so let me know if your family and friends know.

Thanks!

MadDogManor

My family knows - how could they not? I've been stuffing my face for years and not really caring or paying attention at all. And I've gained from a steady 150 to eventually 240. My doctor never said one word to me, because I was pretty much healthy, just fat. No blood pressure probs, no cholesterol issues. I'm sure one of these days I'm going to have to face why I have these addiction issues, but that's not right now. Baby steps here

kge0891

My family may know, but I've gone to extreme lengths to hide my binges. However, all my friends at school, my roommates, and my boyfriend don't know. Still afraid to tell people.

Graelwyn75

My boyfriend knows and my mother knows, although there is only a degree to which they can understand. I would sooner swallow my pride and let them know, so that I can share certain things, and receive some support, than to carry on struggling alone, never being able to explain why I am in a bad mood, why I don't want to go out or why I want my mum to hide the cookie tin in her room at night when I stay.

kge0891

Haha very true! Yeah I'm thinking about telling my boyfriend soon. Although I'm not sure he'll understand the severity of it. He might just interpret it as "I like to eat junk food".

Graelwyn75

Haha very true! Yeah I'm thinking about telling my boyfriend soon. Although I'm not sure he'll understand the severity of it. He might just interpret it as "I like to eat junk food".

Mine did not at first, he just kept saying everyone overeats and such things, and that he sometimes did the same, and its just food etc etc. But i showed him a documentary on bulimia and I guess he did some sort of research himself as he seems to realise it is very different to just occasional overeating.

beachgirl1793

Haha very true! Yeah I'm thinking about telling my boyfriend soon. Although I'm not sure he'll understand the severity of it. He might just interpret it as "I like to eat junk food".

Mine did not at first, he just kept saying everyone overeats and such things, and that he sometimes did the same, and its just food etc etc. But i showed him a documentary on bulimia and I guess he did some sort of research himself as he seems to realise it is very different to just occasional overeating.

sounds like you've got a great boyfriend..i don't have a boyfriend currently, but i can't imagine many guys caring enough to do some research and finally grasp how severe it can be.
OP: i really urge you to tell someone. even if it's just one person. i didn't start binging until i was away at college, so i didn't have to worry about hiding it from my family, and simply waited until my roommates were gone. eventually, i told my mom, and it was SUCH a relief. take however long you need, but at some point, i really think it will be beneficial for you to share your problems with someone

greekygirl

Yup, my family and friends know....being married, it's hard not to hide it from my husband, plus I like to be able to talk to him about it and get his support. He is actually very supportive and I think for the most part he understands. I don't think he has BED but he does have tendencies to snack when not hungry and/or overeat. My sister knows too, but she also has BED. It's good to have people to talk about it with though.

I don't go to the lengths to hide it as I did in the past...I think part of it is because I'm not overweight (anymore) and the other is my addiction has progressed over 25 years and it doesn't care who sees or what they say. Plus people think it's a hoot that I can eat so much, being so little. I do have to keep it in check though, because I *will* gain weight if I let it get too out of control. I seem to be able to keep my weight in check ONLY because I exercise so much.

wllwsmmr

Well my family knows because even if I binge at night, the next morning they will realize a large amount of food missing so it is self explanatory. Also the sudden weight gains.. But I do think that unless you have BED it is hard to grasp the severity of it. I have tried explaining to others and they just find it absurd that it cannot be controlled and that i'm probably just overeating, have no control, lazy, unwilling to change etc... A lot of people don't really understand/believe in BED. Doesn't help that I binge in private and hence when with people I'm always in crazy control, eating healthy, small portions etc.... It is frustrating and that is the main reason why I'm on mfp. But to be honest I try to never talk about binging to anyone unless they find out something then I have no choice..

I'd actually think it'd be beneficial to unfriend your friends and families on mfp or create another account free of them so that you could log honestly and rant about it to get support etc... I also find opening my diary to my friends help me want to do better and keeps me more accountable! But if them being on mfp keeps you in better control, then leave it!

Jul158

I don't think mine have any idea. I'm very secretive about it. This is interesting..I'm awfully embarrassed to tell anyone and don't think there is anyone I could tell. I'd hate to be associated with it. People knew when I had anorexia (I was 86 lbs, it was obvious) but this isn't as easy to see. I wonder though, maybe they do?

kge0891

It's possible! I think my boyfriend must wonder sometimes. Because half the time I have the "I'm being healthy, no ordering out" attitude, and the other times it's "let's get chinese" cause I want to binge. Maybe he notices a tiny bit, but I'm sure he would not call it a disorder, I hide the severity of it from him by going downstairs for 20 minutes at a time and stuffing my face!

ObtainingBalance

It's possible! I think my boyfriend must wonder sometimes. Because half the time I have the "I'm being healthy, no ordering out" attitude, and the other times it's "let's get chinese" cause I want to binge. Maybe he notices a tiny bit, but I'm sure he would not call it a disorder, I hide the severity of it from him by going downstairs for 20 minutes at a time and stuffing my face!

I doubt he thinks on that too much. I know many people who attempt to 'diet' and eat really 'healthy, no take out, etc..' (nothing wrong with eating healthy) but then they have days where they let loose. I have friends tell me they're on a diet and then later on they gave up or something. I think it's pretty common in young women. So I agree with you, I doubt he is considering it a disorder because everyone splurges now and then on a meal. He probably doesn't think much on your diet habits unless it's very extreme (skipping many meals, eating a whole pizza in one sitting, etc)

Now to answer your question... No one aside from MFP peeps know about my binge tendencies. My family has suspected that I've had an ED in the past when I kept losing weight. Now that I'm chubby again they don't think on it much because I'm not really skinny so I'm not too restrictive or ana -- they don't need to worry (I guess.) Because I have overweight family members and it's not considered abnormal to like eating. They offer me junk food and high calorie meals all the time.

I would personally never keep friends and family on this account, I would specifically make another account for that! Just so I can stay honest and reach out without fear of judgement or misunderstandings.

I think it'd be a good idea to talk about your problem to others around you, but becareful. Only mention it to someone trustworthy and remember you don't HAVE to tell everyone, you will let them know in your time. If I had told a friend or sister, I know I would think twice before a binge. Although they will never fully grasp the disorder - since they don't struggle with it.

tequila09

some very close friends know and my boyfriend knows. though his words are "just get self control" to that i say ohh yeah i'll just pick some up at walmart! ugh that pisses me off he thinks he understands because he use to be fat but he so doesn't understand.

Jasmine_James

The only person who knows is my fiance, and I only admitted it to him after years of living together. I am like an undercover agent when it comes to food. I'm so careful about what I eat in front of other people -- I'm actually embarrassed to eat too much or too unhealthily in front of others. I hide food and binge in the car or at times when I know I'll be alone at home. It's completely irrational, but I've been this way since I was a teenager. My family had no idea, because I was so strategic about eating when no one was around to see.

misskate1987

My BED is mostly a secret - I've always been good at hiding what I consumed and have been earning my own money since I was 16 so I've become pretty good at it.

I've tried at various times to tell family members (usually after several drinks - you know, to give me a bit of courage) but they haven't seemed to absorb the information. Either I haven't told them properly or they're ignoring it because they don't believe it's real.

It's very lonely.

My best friend knows, but even she doesn't fully understand it.

So I rely on the internet for support when I need it.

FluffyDogsRule

Yup, my family and friends know....being married, it's hard not to hide it from my husband, plus I like to be able to talk to him about it and get his support. He is actually very supportive and I think for the most part he understands. I don't think he has BED but he does have tendencies to snack when not hungry and/or overeat. My sister knows too, but she also has BED. It's good to have people to talk about it with though.

I don't go to the lengths to hide it as I did in the past...I think part of it is because I'm not overweight (anymore) and the other is my addiction has progressed over 25 years and it doesn't care who sees or what they say. Plus people think it's a hoot that I can eat so much, being so little. I do have to keep it in check though, because I *will* gain weight if I let it get too out of control. I seem to be able to keep my weight in check ONLY because I exercise so much.

I could have written this! Actually, I was getting ready to write this! Everyone knows about my binging. I have never tried to hide it. I think it's because I'm not overweight...people really do get a kick out of watching me go to town. BUT they don't know how hard I work the rest of the time not to gain weight. They say things like "if only I had your metabolism". But even though I'm not overweight, the binging is real. That out of control feeling that we all know so well. It's like a disease. I hate it and it makes me feel so terrible. My husband never really understood...he actually liked when I binged b/c then I wasn't worrying about making healthy choices. But one night last year HE had a binge!! He could not stop eating. It was the first time it ever happened to him. He described it perfectly..."I couldn't stop. It was like a magnet was pulling me into the kitchen and I just kept eating and eating even though I felt sick. I had to go to bed to stop". And after that, he now understands the difference between splurging and binging. And (lucky duck) he hasn't done it since. But he sympathizes with me now when I want to or do binge, instead of saying things like "just go ahead and eat it! you haven't eaten like that in so long". now he knows it won't make me happy.