One Year

Raynn1 · March 2013

Today is my One Year logging anniversary. I had made my account on MFP a while before that, but a year ago was when I decided to try logging my foods on here. I started off with wanting to log my Weight Watchers points to see what my calorie level actually was, and from there it spiraled into finding the EMTWL group a few days after, and then the rest is history. For many starting the journey, I too had many reservations and doubts about increasing my cals, getting into weight lifting and really changing my entire focus on dieting. But looking back, I NEEDED this time to begin my healing process. Am I healed? God no. Not even close. But I am more at peace with things now than I was a year ago. I am still working on letting go of the scale, and trying to forget that that stupid number means nothing, but like many, it is very hard to do, especially when the entire medical community is telling you that you are obese.

So this was my status update this morning, and I thought it was something I needed to share with others. Whether you are just beginning, or whether you are well into your journey, like I am, Never forget... You Are Amazing. You Are Never alone.

In one year that I have been logging on MFP, I have learned so much about myself, about metabolism, about weights and about nutrition. I would love to say that in one year, the scale has reflected my success, but it hasn't. In fact the scale has basically stayed the same for one year. But in that time, I have learned how to fuel my body properly. I went from approximately 1400 cals to being able to eat around 2800 cals without really gaining any weight. I had a long metabolism reset, coupled with learning about strength training and proper weight lifting. I learned how to pay attention to the smaller changes happening and have started to believe it when people comment on how small they see me getting.
While my bottom half has not really changed, I do know my upper half has gotten significantly smaller. I can fit into a very tight fitting bathing suit top, that last fit me 20 pounds lighter, I can buy a Size L top from Old Navy, I can see an hourglass figure staring back at me in the mirror. I can make my Delts dance. I can see huge definition in my shoulder, arm and chest area. I AM in fact getting smaller.
So while the scale does not reflect a years worth of extremely disciplined, hard work, I know from the inside there has been huge changes for healthier living. I know eventually the fat will disapate and muscle will show through. And I may not see a 1 on my scale anytime soon, I know eventually I will. So if I can tell you anything about my year old journey is that I hit rock bottom many times. I wanted to quit and walk away many times. I wanted to scream from the rooftops how much this process sucks... but I didn't. I am still here. And you will be too.