Grateful to have some advice!!

danipals

Hi there! I have tried various levels and exercises over the past two years and have not been able to lose a pound! Previously, I had sat at 153 lbs. for about three years and back then I was working so hard to lose another 15 lbs. Now I would love to be back there rather than the 168.8 I'm at now.

Here's a little about me and what I've tried to no avail....


Last Spring I decided that I needed to train for a half-marathon to lose 10 pounds I had gained over the previous year. I was running 4x a week and meeting with a PT to do a session of TRX once a week. Back then I averaged eating 1528 calories (but didn't put macros on my spreadsheet that I kept at the time.) I was religiously logging my food, my steps, and wearing my HRM to track calories burned. I was weighing in with my trainer for accountability and she was amazed that I weighed the exact same to the tenth of a pound every week for a month and literally did not vary at all. The frustrating thing was that the only reason I signed up for the race in the first place was because I thought it would be a sure-fire way to lose weight. I don't even really enjoy running! I did suffer from a bad case of plantar fasciitis which required steroid shots etc. and once the race was over I quit running and basically doing a whole lot of anything. I was mad and had a hissy fit and didn't log all summer. Unfortunately I kept eating the way I did when running (and worse) and by January had gained another 5 pounds. (Yeah, that didn't work out really well for me. I couldn't lose weight but I sure could gain and deserved every pound!)


Starting in January I tried the WW route. I lost 3 lbs in the first 10 days but then didn't lose for a month. I was doing JM 30 DS or 30 minutes on the elliptical every day for 30 days. I was averaging 1450 calories/205 carbs/31 fats/ 100 protein


So onto NOW...

February I started to eat more... At that time I also started lifting 3x/week with heavier weights and doing the elliptical 2 times a week. I am still continuing to eat this way and am lifting heavy still. I have recently started 10k training (not as much as last year thankfully) as I had already committed to train with a friend. We are running 3x a week. 3ish miles right now and will be up to 6 for one weekly long run in a month or so. I still don't enjoy running so would love to hear what to do once I'm done at the end of April. (Im thinking bike riding which I actually enjoy>)

5'6"
39 yo
168.8 lbs
36% BF

1763 avg intake
173 C 51 F 104 P average

I use a digital food scale for meats, pastas etc
I use measuring cups/ spoons for peanut butters, jams, bbq sauce, yogurt etc. I eyeball fruits and veggies
I count out almonds/ crackers etc.
I think I do well at logging everything I eat. I usually try to be about 50 cals less than my 1800 just in case.

I have tried cheat days and not. Currently not. I do allow for treats if my calories allow though. I don't eat 100% clean although we rarely eat out and everything we eat is homemade.

I have not lost weight eating at 1400 or 1800. Not even a tenth of a pound. My weight does not vary day by day. I weigh exactly 168.8 every morning.

Activity varies.
MWF I teach preschool in the mornings. I am on my feet during that time (3-4 hours) but nothing strenuous. I then go to the gym. I walk on the treadmill for 10 minutes to warm up and then lift as heavy as I can for about 45 minutes or so. Some days I end up the grocery store. Some days will walk the dogs for a mile. I average about 10,000 steps including my workout.

TR I am meeting my friend to run. Approx 3 mi or so. Errands etc after but try to have some time in the afternoon to relax, I'm not going to lie. I will sit on the couch if possible and read. Of course daily cleaning etc. (I average around 10,000 steps including my run steps.)

Evenings are either here at home relaxing or often driving kids here and there and sitting in bleachers to watch activities.

Weekends I usually have lower step count. I didn't realize that under 5,000 is common on at least one weekend day if not both. (Will be more active once warm weather is here!!) I spend a lot of the weekends when possible on the couch. Otherwise I'm at kids games.

I have been stalled the entire time!



I'd just like to add that I just turned 39. I'd really like to go into my 40s with my act together. I also have a 12 yo daughter that has started noticing things. She just asked me about my food scale yesterday and why I weigh things. Also about why I log my food and wanted to log hers too to see how much she eats. She also wanted to know how many calories she should be eating. I worry so much about giving her my food issues. I have literally been dieting since I was 14. That's 25 years and I don't want her to go through that. She is perfect just the way she is. I'd love to set a good example of "normal!" Instead I'm a freak.

Thank you so much for your help. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it and the time you are taking to ready through my information. I'm willing to do whatever it takes but feel like a deer in the headlights about not knowing what that is exactly. I guess I don't really believe that anything will work and finding your thread gave me some hope.

Thanks!

Danielle

SideSteel

Tagging

Sarauk2sf

When in February did you start lifting?

I am probably not too much help with advice regarding your daughter, not having kids myself, but firstly, you are not a freak...period, secondly, maybe you could make more of a game out of it but not relating it to calories (may not work with a 12 year old though).

danipals

I started lifting the first week of February following a program from muscleandstrength.com. It was one I could do at home but as I'm trying to lift as heavy as possible and just using dumbbells grip became an issue and I needed to move up to barbells. I am now doing something else I found that has taken me out of my comfort zone and has me using things I've never used before like the squat rack and pull up machine. I have also done a few days of NROL4W. I've looked at Stronglifts as well but want to get my form down right on things like the deadlift before considering that.

danipals

PS-- I'm either lifting really right or really wrong because on a lifting day like today I am Wiped out! (Like just had my feet on the dashboard and seat back in the school pickup line because I could fall asleep!)

danipals

Correction to answer about cheat days...

After my day today I realized that in all honesty I actually do have an unplanned cheat day every three weeks or so. Not a crazy day, but a day like today where I am 400 over (thanks to trying to fight a craving with something other than what I really wanted and still ending up eating it in the end...why I thought cookies made with dates and almonds would suffice instead of a PB cup I don't know!) As well as treating myself to cornbread with dinner. Not too bad but over. Other weeks it may have been cookie dough or something like that. At most 500 calories or so.

Sometimes in the past I wouldn't have necessarily recorded it all but today I did.

rgrin

Kids know we mess up, and (especially 12-year-olds) are well aware that we don't know everything (I was a middle school teacher). With your daughter, just let her know that you want to make sure that you and everyone else in your house is healthy. But you've forgotten what an appropriate serving size is. Thus, you are looking up appropriate serving sizes, making sure the food has all of the vitamins and minerals you need, and measuring and weighing for a while to remind yourself how big that serving actually is. It doesn't have to be about calories. It's not a "diet". There is so much more to this than calories and weight. Focus on those with her.

danipals

BUMP please...

and Thanks rgrin... we have always tried to focus on the "healthy" aspect. I compliment her on how strong she is and how much she can do rather than whether she's skinny or not. We do 5ks together, 20mi bike rides, etc and try to make being active our lifestyle once this Illinois winter is over! I appreciate your advice.

Sarauk2sf

Thanks. Will respond more fully later today/tomorrow. Thanks for your patience

Sarauk2sf

Regarding cardio - you do not have to do it at all if you hate it. Pick something you enjoy. I would actually look into something that is less steady state as you get a better metabolic impact from it. Something like boxing/kickboxing classes.

Re weighing - I would start weighing the more calorie dense items, just to make sure you have the right serving size, at least fro a while - like the peanut butters.

On looking at your diary, you have a bunch of missed or only partially completed days. It appears that January up through the February 23rd has only a few logged days as well as a lot of partially completed days (like only breakfast) . From the middle of February through yesterday (22 days), your average calories are just a smidge over 1,800.

I am going to ask you to religiously log everything (and weigh as much as possible) for 4 weeks and eat to the calorie target of 1,600 (static, as in no eating of exercise calories back).

Macros should be:
Protein: 110g
Fats: 59g

The balance where you wish based on preference, energy levels and satiation.

I am also going to suggest that you up your NEAT (non exercise activity) as much as possible.

At the end of the four weeks can you get back to us (or earlier if you have any issues/questions) and we can take it from there as we will have a good few weeks of data at that stage - we are really looking to get a good base line so we have good information in order to make any adjustments.

danipals

Thanks for the input! The days from the first week of January thru mid february I was logging on another app as I was doing WW. I would have to relog all of that into MFP and just don't have the time for that! I did log meals etc. here and there to try to get a handle on how points and calories compared to each other. I know it was around 1200ish on days I didn't use extra points and up to 1400 on days I did because I was really hungry.

I will drop back down to 1600 per your advice. I think I will do it slowly because even at 1800 I've actually woken up hungry in the middle of the night a few times on days I've lifted. Crazy.

Two years ago when I had gone up to 156 from 153 and couldn't get those 3 lbs. off I went to the ISU School of Sports and Rec and had testing done. (Bodpod and FUEL testing.) I was doing Body for Life at the time and had good amount of LBM and was told to eat 2,000 calories. (It was summer so we were pretty active lifestyle wise.) Of course my neurosis wouldn't let me eat 2,000 back then I gave up on it all and well.... here we are.

Unfortunately I am now 10 lbs heavier and fatter and the info isn't accurate anymore. I'd really not like to spend the $ to go back and have it all done again. Plus I'd feel like a giant failure going back even fatter.

Thanks for your time. I will report back in four weeks. That's a good time limit for me because I swear I have a 4 week mental block. If nothing happens in 3-4 weeks I give up.

Sarauk2sf

If it will help, eat a bit above the 1,600 on lifting days and a bit below on non lifting days - just average out to 1,600 in the week.

danipals

Will do! Thanks! I'm assuming that it's ok to not NET my BMR then.

Sarauk2sf

Will do! Thanks! I'm assuming that it's ok to not NET my BMR then.

Yep, that is fine. Just eat to the static number and it will even itself out throughout the week.

MonsterToBe

Something that might be helpful with your daughter is to have a conversation with her something like this:

"You've asked a couple of times about why I'm weighing and measuring my food, and the reasons are a bit complicated but I think you're plenty old enough to understand. When women get into their 30s and 40s, their bodies go through a lot of changes, and the kinds of activities we do together and my lifting and things like that become extra important to stay healthy. Those activities need a lot of fuel, and in the past I haven't always eaten enough -- if I still ate like I used to, I woudn't be able to do those things. I ate too little for so long that it became a habit, so I measure everything to make sure I get enough food now. Years from now, when you're grown and have kids of your own, I want to be able to pick them up and swing them around and chase them while they laugh and play with them all I want, and getting enough food and exercise will make sure I can do that!"

Hope that gives you some helpful ideas. )

danipals

Thanks for the advice! I have always struggled with being quite controlling of my kids food choices since I don't want them to go through a lifetime of self-consciousness like me. I am frankly a downer when they are wanting to go out for ice cream etc and I veto it. (Not that we never do it because I know that backfires too!) I have told my daughter a bit about being made fun of when I was younger and having never been comfortable with myself. I have also told her that because of this I tend to be too controlling of her own choices and that I am going to just have to let go a bit and trust her to make her own choices now. (Of course the freak in me has guidelines about one snack from the cabinet and the others need to be a yogurt, fruits/vegs, etc.) I am confident that they have a good understanding of what is/is not a good choice. Of course they will need reminders about eating enough fruits and veggies as we all do but they do pretty good. (I still control what comes into the house and am using that to maintain some control. We don't have oreos, chips etc in the house. Our "junk food" is Triscuits, homemade granola, Clif Bars as well as other homemade treats including muffins, cookies etc. I feel better if I make them because we eat them once and pass the rest to a neighbor.)

I second guess myself all of the time but can honestly say that I am consciously trying to do the best I can...trying to hard sometimes

alanlmarshall

Thanks for the advice! I have always struggled with being quite controlling of my kids food choices since I don't want them to go through a lifetime of self-consciousness like me. I am frankly a downer when they are wanting to go out for ice cream etc and I veto it. (Not that we never do it because I know that backfires too!) I have told my daughter a bit about being made fun of when I was younger and having never been comfortable with myself. I have also told her that because of this I tend to be too controlling of her own choices and that I am going to just have to let go a bit and trust her to make her own choices now. (Of course the freak in me has guidelines about one snack from the cabinet and the others need to be a yogurt, fruits/vegs, etc.) I am confident that they have a good understanding of what is/is not a good choice. Of course they will need reminders about eating enough fruits and veggies as we all do but they do pretty good. (I still control what comes into the house and am using that to maintain some control. We don't have oreos, chips etc in the house. Our "junk food" is Triscuits, homemade granola, Clif Bars as well as other homemade treats including muffins, cookies etc. I feel better if I make them because we eat them once and pass the rest to a neighbor.)

I second guess myself all of the time but can honestly say that I am consciously trying to do the best I can...trying to hard sometimes

Restricting foods for children can have unintended consequences. Check out this video, it's eye opening, be sure to watch close starting at 3:20.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNA3zltptmk

danipals

I have seen a similar video and really try to do my best. I don't know what the right answer is. I think it is about finding balance. I do want to teach them what is healthy and not especially in this super-sized world. I also realize that kids are all different too. I have one who has little interest in food and only eats when hungry no matter what treats are available and one who will make room for a brownie just like her mom. The third is right in between. I really, really am trying to do my best for them.

Sarauk2sf

Locking for now as part of a process that we are using to track open threads. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/914180-thread-locking-and-intake-follow-ups


Please PM either myself or SideSteel in a few weeks when you are ready to give us an update, or earlier if you have any further questions, and we will unlock it so you can post.