You Know You're a Food Addict When...

cpeter76

you drink a pepsi in the guest bathroom so your husband doesn't see you and bury the evidence under a pile of toilet paper in the trash can. Actually- that is just the latest thing I did. I'm constantly hiding my binges from my husband. Waiting until he leaves the room before I down as many oreos as I can before he comes back. I keep the garage door shut, so that when I hear it go up I will know he is home and I can stop eating and hide any evidence that I had been binging, Running to the store for a few things when my main purpose is to get junk food and soda and eat it all before I get home and throw away the wrappers in the outside garbage.. Lying to him by saying I am eating healthy when I am doing the opposite. SO I know I have a food addiction; please- tell me what to do now? Are there any proven steps you all have taken to overcome this addiction? WHat do you do when the urges to binge arise? What do you do if you hate yourself for binging, but also get angry with yourself because you can't eat what you want. I feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I'm angry either way. Have any of you tried an overeaters anonymous meeting? I'm really struggling with conquering this addiction. Any advice is welcomed. Thanks in Advance.

MaraDiaz

Not sure what to tell you about the husband component, but as someone who doesn't like authority even when I'm the one in authority I can tell you what I do about wanting to rebel against my own self-control.

I tell myself go for it if I really insist even though I know I'll be happier by the end of the day if I don't. Also I try to procrastinate when I get cravings. I find all kinds of excuses to wait until tomorrow. Then tomorrow comes and I find more excuses to wait.

Eventually will I snap and go nuts again? Probably. Hopefully I can keep it to one day and get back on track the next. Hopefully I can put it off for awhile longer, too, so I don't have to deal with the aftermath. I really am happier when I don't give in. Otherwise, I'd say hell with this and give in every day!

ObtainingBalance

Yes... I can relate . I've binged and hid wrappers before. I eat very small and really healthy in front of others, sometimes I even skip meals! (Skip them because I had a binge close to a meal and I'm too sick to eat.. ) Then people look at me like I must be on some crazy diet. =I If they only knew~

Best thing to do is DO NOT buy junk food... when you go out, don't take your wallet with you. (Well, I know you need it sometimes. Maybe bring a small amount of cash if needed.)

You could even ask your husband to pick up the groceries one day....? If he is willing to.

If I don't have trigger foods in the house it's harder to binge. Living with someone is more difficult because sometimes they like the binge triggers and can't keep them out of the house...:(

You could start listening to binge eating podcasts and meditation pod casts. I recommend
http://quitbingeeating.com/podcast/
http://www.letsreverseobesity.com/

Also what Mara said. Put the binge off. When you feel the urge, think of it like you would think a wave in the ocean, it eventually blows away. You're the ocean...the binges are waves. Just like feelings and emotions, the binge will pass. You don't have to act on every craving/urge you get.

You should make a list of binge alternatives...

One time when I felt bingey I ate a whole can of veggies, it was only like 125 calories total, I drank a few cups of water and felt too full to binge... Well, I still could have if I forced it to happen... but I didn't. I walked outside and felt awesome when I came in!

So... visiting websites and listening to podcasts can serve as a distraction. Even coming to these forums and writing whats triggering you might help you not to binge.

(: Good luck ~

Lmccloy

I do these same things and have thought these same things. The aftermath for me is unbearable. Sometimes it's purging, sometimes not. But I work so hard at the gym 6 days a week and usually eat fantastically 5 days a week so when it happens I am devastated! It absolutely kills me. I hate myself for it. Why do we do this? How much are we really enjoying it if we have to cram it down and swallow it before anyone sees us? Last week I thought I was so strong and I had 5 great days. And then the weekend came and I feel like I completely destroyed everything I work so hard for. I hate feeling like I am always starting over:( I do love the idea of "putting it off". I will try that.

ldrosophila

You did the first big step you recognize the hiding, lying, and deception. That's how you know your an addict when the desire to get your addictive substances results in you having to use deception.

Now the next step. You have to want to have a healthier relationship for now one but yourself. You want to know that you can be alone in a room and not binge. Next, you need to tell your husband about the addiction. You need to come out and be honest. This is going to be a very sad time for you not only do you have to admit you are weak, but now you are going to lose your comfort and yes you will be pissed and sad, but guess what that is your reality you are and addict and will always have an addiction. It's time to hold yourself accountable too because the only person who is going to stop you from binging is you. Enlist friends and family though especially to hold you accountable and allow you some way to report.

You can do it though! I keep track of how many days I've been binge free. When it strikes me I will tell my boyfriend or if I've been successful and was alone without a binge I'll let him know. It's embarassing but what I find I need to do for my recovery. You need to make sure you dont have access to your addictive items. Bring cash only when you go to the store, so you can't buy over what you said you would buy. Get the cookies out of your house. Let the husband know that this is equivalent to crack or alcohol you have no control and if he loves you he needs to understand and support you. If he has to have those food make sure it's put somewhere that you have no access to. Get away from the room and go do something else to distract you take a bath, or go to bed. NO FOOD PORN ie recipe sites, cooking shows, or other food focused things. Log log log...I make myself blog and I post it public after a binge. I've also made a promise to myself that I was not ever going to binge, lie, steal, hoard, or hide food. Every day is a battle, but when you go to bed and know you succeeded thats the best feeling in the world.

Be pissed, be angry use it as fuel to get you where you want to be and in the end hopefully you will have a healthy relationship with food and your body.

Graelwyn75

I used to sneak down to the larder at night when younger and eat dry cereal, often my father would creep down too and eat, we often crossed paths. It amuses me now in a way. I live alone, so I have no choice but to try and control it myself. I would hate to take the stance of seeing myself as powerless against food, I consider that a bad stance, to be honest, as it does not encourage a healthy attitude towards food to see it as some sort of enemy that must be hidden away. Even alcoholics cannot avoid ever seeing alcohol again, and well, we cannot totally ban food from our lives since we require it to live. I read a bit of 'brain over binge' which has proven helpful, and when I feel like giving in and binging, often as a means of releasing control, I remember how physically awful it makes me feel in the days after and how it spirals.

If I want a food, I have it while out in town rather than bringing it home. I try and avoid buying large boxes or packets of things I tend to binge on, as in spite of trying many times to simply take a portion, I eventually have a bad night with it. I hope one day I can have larger containers around as ultimately, I think we all need to be able to trust ourselves. If we cannot even trust ourselves, what and who can we trust ? Having said that, cost aside, there is no reason for me to need to have large containers of less healthy food around the place. I did not buy it in before, so why should I buy it in now and keep testing myself ?

I have not lied or deceived about my binging, in fact, I am quite open about it with my bf, though it took him a long time to understand that it is not simply a case of over eating. I have, however, had times when I went out to the dustbins to retrieve binge food I threw out earlier, which is kind of really sad and desperate. Not done that in a while. I am tired of food controlling my life. I wont allow that anymore. I am focussing on whether I am hungry or not and on not eating unless I am actually hungry. I realised I hate feeling full. It is uncomfortable.

I am sure there are plenty of underlying issues that I should have dealt with that have resulted in my binging. I tend to be a person who likes control, and hates feeling out of control of anything. If I am too controlling over any aspect of my life, I find I end up totally losing control in another area, out of frustration and a need to just let go, I suppose. I imagine quite a few people who binge, like feeling in control, and strive too much for perfection. The binge can be a response to a sense of having failed somewhere in life.

Stop hiding. If you are genuinely binging, and that is what you are hiding, then tell whomever you share your life with about it. The support can be very helpful. If you are just hiding it because you are ashamed of sometimes having a 'bad' food item, well, having less than stellar food items now and again is not a crime. Distinguish between binge eating, and eating a food you feel guilty for eating.

Chibea

I was in OA for years and it worked very well for a while. I had to go to meetings 1 or 2 times everyday and I ended up socializing with other OA members almost exclusively. Very similar to recovery in AA.. I got down past my goal and maintained as long as I stayed in the close knit group.

I don't like the mantra they say that 'we are powerless over food'
I do agree with the slogans 'We cannot do it with out help from others"
And ' food is cunning, baffling , and powerful"

I moved to a new city, got married, had a child and have never bonded with any meetings here. But, I have to say, it worked when I worked it.

wattssal000

My boyfriend knows about my struggles and he wants to help but when I want to binge I just can't bring myself to say anything to him or ask for help because I just really want to eat. I am being selfish because it hurts us both.

We are moving in together in a week and I have asked him to put a pad log on the pantry door so that I do not have access to all the "binge" type foods. This is really embarassing but I will give it a try.

Funny to think I will do anything to stop binging, except stop binging......

ObtainingBalance

My boyfriend knows about my struggles and he wants to help but when I want to binge I just can't bring myself to say anything to him or ask for help because I just really want to eat. I am being selfish because it hurts us both.

We are moving in together in a week and I have asked him to put a pad log on the pantry door so that I do not have access to all the "binge" type foods. This is really embarassing but I will give it a try.

Funny to think I will do anything to stop binging, except stop binging......

The pad lock is a good idea. I wish someone could do that in my house.

wllwsmmr

My boyfriend knows about my struggles and he wants to help but when I want to binge I just can't bring myself to say anything to him or ask for help because I just really want to eat. I am being selfish because it hurts us both.

We are moving in together in a week and I have asked him to put a pad log on the pantry door so that I do not have access to all the "binge" type foods. This is really embarassing but I will give it a try.

Funny to think I will do anything to stop binging, except stop binging......

The padlock is a good idea!! Also heartening to know that your boyfriend is accepting of you and willing to help, gives me hope since I feel like I'd never get married because of eating weird and needing to binge in secrecy a lot...

To OP, I think opening up to him is really the only solution. He can help but that would mean you lose the absolute freedom and comfort to binge in secrecy since someone is watching you, but I believe that that would help with your binging.. Also, does eating more throughout the day help?

I also find that it'd be good to ask him to help you with your moderation, like he'd buy the nasty binge stuff but only bring in a day's portion at a time so that you still can indulge but in moderation! And then have him stash the rest in his office or wherever else you have no access to!

Also, just don't buy them. Give it a few days. I believe your cravings would be less intense. Switch your binges to lower calorie-d/healthier stuff. Yeah it is not solving the roots of the problem but it might be a decent transition! That's what I'm doing... I eat my fruits, carrots, etc and drink loads of water, then if I still want my binge foods then I do, but I try my best to stay as close to my caloric goal and don't beat myself up if I eat a few hundred over, it is still better than few thousands right?

Don't give up, don't have too many rules or restrictions, focus at one goal at a time! Overwhelming yourself is counterproductive!
Stay strong and positive love, we're all in this together..

ETA: I've eaten food from the trash can and expired food/dairy products that were not refrigerated but didn't taste too off

christasibley

until just now i never knew i had a food addiction until i read my habits in all your posts. but glad to know there's support out here for me.

CrazyWhiskers

^ I feel the same way. Its good to not feel alone.

tequila09

ugh i do the saaame thing!! except my weakness is fast food. i swear i'm addicted to it and spend so much money when i go through my binging episodes. i'm not even hungry but i get as much food as i can and just stuff my face until it hurts. i hide it from my boyfriend too and pretend i'm doing well when i'm not. i've also done that when he is in the shower and we just ate dinner but i make a pb and j or something like that and eat it as fast as i can. my boyfriend knows about it because i've told him but he just doesn't understand. he says to just have self control or think about my goals. if that worked i wouldn't be in this cycle!

same here btw about wanting to do anything to stop binging except stop binging

kaihunter45

I started addiction counseling. I've only had one appointment so far so I really don't have an opinion on it yet. I just know that I've been eating my life away and eating as a substitute for something. It got to the point that I was eating constantly and when I wasn't eating I was looking for food. I know I have a lot to work out and I'm terrified. I don't know how to get through without binging. Sorry I don't have any solutions, but in time, I hope to.