Full-time single parents out there?



  • Shsmith55
    Shsmith55 Posts: 6 Member
    I am new to the group...and it looks like I have a combination of everyones situation. I have full custody of my daughter (4) and her father tries to see her when he can (1 day here, a weekend there) and it gets very stressful especially when trying to eat right and exercise. A lot of times I eat the wrong things and neglect to workout due to my stress and sadness about the situation.

    Hopefully we can all motivate each other to continue to be tough as nails single parent rockstars and navigate through healthy living at the same time!!
  • larsensue
    larsensue Posts: 461 Member
    I am in the same boat as you only my girls are 4 and 11! I have noticed that before this lifestyle change of mine that my bad habits where rubbing off on them. Also, grandparents sure take that spoiling stuff to another level with the treats. Its so nice to get a break from the grandparents but how do you tell them not to give the kids sugary treats?

    My Parents do that too so I took my duaghter over to their house once all hopped up on sugar and left her with them for a few hours and was "unavailable" for the entire time. I came to pick her up and they were shoving her out the door. I took a minute to say "mom, dad, now you know what she is like when you send her home to me after spending a sugarry good time with you. do not let it happen again."
  • rmkramer003
    rmkramer003 Posts: 115 Member
    I had to deal with that from my mom's boyfriend once. He told me that since he didn't have any grandkids of his own, he was going to spoil my kids and feed them cake everyday. Since his daughter watched my kids at night when I worked he had to deal with all the fallout from the sugar highs. That didn't last terribly long.
  • LisaO_84
    LisaO_84 Posts: 9
    My mom always say its her right to gives the kids anything they want. I just luv her anyways!!!!
  • VanillaWishes
    VanillaWishes Posts: 9 Member
    Yes, it's always just been me with my twins, they are 9 now, both classically autistic with related issues so quite a handful, but I love them to bits and wouldn't change a thing - even if I am shattered <yawn!>. I also attempted one relationship but he couldn't cope with the amount of attention my boys need so turned his attention elsewhere. It can be very tough but so rewarding too.

    Really pleased to have found this group :-)
  • I applaud you! I was single when I was pregnant also and still am...my daughter is two and a half. I don't have enough room left in my heart to let a man in right now as it emotionally really messed me up. I think only someone who has gone through any of this could understand. Stay strong, you are a role model for the rest of us.
  • This would be me also. Have a little mix of everything. My daughter is 7 and high functioning autistic. I had her through artificial insemination so I have no idea if her"father" was autistic also or not. My Mom watches her while I work (when she is not in school). I don't really have any friends that I hang out with. Would love to meet someone but they have to be as interested in me as I am in them. Which is why things went no where with the last guy I was interested. I can't be the only one to put forth the effort. My "me" time is after my daughter goes to bed at 7:30. That's when I workout, watch something on tv and then crash for the night.
  • Beckboo0912
    Beckboo0912 Posts: 447 Member
    I have my son all the time, I love him but working and going out once in a while is a saving grace. I love him, he's 2.5 and great but let's be honest kids can be tough. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have that special someone but really I enjoy being single, I enjoy being a mom...someday it will happen and that's great but right now I have too much going on, raising a kid in itself is enough .
  • Jendusi
    Jendusi Posts: 9 Member
    It is defintely nice to hear there are other people out there who can relate to your situation. I have been a single parent for 3 years to a 13 year old boy and 8 year old daughter. Though it seems like much longer than that bc their father was never much of a parent or partner. My daughter excels in school and my son struggles. I had lost 55 pound prior to seperating from their father which I have gained back. I allowed a busy schedule of sports and 2nd job to interfer with my eatting and workout habits. I told myself I have my children adn do not need anyone else and let myself go. I am not happy being overwieght and have come to the realization that anything worth having requires sacrifice and that if you care about something enough you will make the time. I have been working out again for 3 weeks and dieting for about 6 weeks. It is time to make a change. No more excuses.
  • LM2909
    LM2909 Posts: 2 Member
    I am single mom to a soon to be 2 year old. It has been challenge but very rewarding. I am now just trying to be in better physical and mental state for me and my son. He is more active than ever and I want to be able to keep up with him. He is showing signs of interest in baseball, so I need to make sure I will be able to keep up with him!
  • veggiehottie
    veggiehottie Posts: 590 Member
    yay! i am so glad to have found you guys! let's be motivators for each other here on mfp. :)
  • Hello!!! I have been raising my son and daughter by myself for the last 6 years. It has been really hard and for a while it got so much better. But recently things have just taken a toll, family and work problems are hard to deal with when you don't get days off to cry it out. I also go to school. It is hard but I am sure one day it will be rewarding. Part of the reason I have weigh issues is that I am an emotional eater but I am here and plan to change it! Today was my first day. I had wanted to start dieting but really this time I just want to make a lifestyle change. Good luck to all of you single parents!!! It's hard but if we couldn't handle it we wouldn't have been given such cute little angels.
  • Caligirl0
    Caligirl0 Posts: 14 Member
    I have my daughter (17) and son (6) full time for the last 4.5 years. My ex takes my son one night a week and maybe a half day each weekend once or twice a month. My daughter refuses to go with him often, maybe a half day once a month or twice tops.

    If it wasn't for my mom, we would be homeless. I work full time, have a great career and pay for everything for our kids without assistance (two cars, clothes, education/after school care, sports, medical insurance, food, supplies, pets and pet care, entertainment, etc...) Mom enjoys our company and provides a loving home for us all. It's such a blessing. I feel bad a lot, and struggle with wanting to move out from time to time, but usually it's because I'm feeling powerless over something and need to step up my spiritual game so to speak.

    She always says that she's happy to do it, because she has it. It would be a waste for her to be in the big home all alone, and she gets so much joy from our being there. I don't ask her for any childcare, since my son has been in the Y after school since grade school, and full time daycare since birth. She fills a special place in their hearts since they are without their dad on a daily basis too, so it's such a blessing.

    This year I'm focusing on getting this weight off, getting healthy, and who knows, maybe start dating again. I'm feeling like I may be interested in meeting a nice fellow. I miss the companionship of a spouse. Up to now I haven't wanted anything like that, so I know things are changing...
  • momofbn3
    momofbn3 Posts: 4 Member
    HERE! Im a full time single mom of a almost 16 yr old son and 3yr old triplets, 2 boys, 1 girl.. I also work full time and if it wasnt for my mom being able to watch them, I also dont know what I would do. So thank God for Nana! Its hard but like alot of you say..so rewarding and wouldnt have it any other way. I know they are mine for a reason and they are my whole heart. It makes such a difference when you have a support group. Im new here, but giving this a try to help me stay on track. Good luck to everyone!!
  • mmccloy12
    mmccloy12 Posts: 151 Member
    Hi, I just wanted to post to this thread, because I want you to know how much better I feel to see that I am not the only one out there! I am a single parent to a 6 year old boy. His father acts like "father of the year" but very rarely gets him or is capable of taking care of him properly. In fact he used to get him on the days I worked late and I would pick him at 8, and he was not fed, homework not done and no bath even though I would ask over and over again to at least do 2 out of the 3. I finally just gave up and I pay a friend to pick him up and she gets things done for me. But because of that financial responsibility I have to even work harder to pay it. My family lives 1200 miles away. I take care of everything. Financially, school, sports, you name it. I feel guilty as well about wanting time to myself. When I do get the time, it's cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping and not really true time for myself. My friend that gets him after school helps sometimes, but most of it I have to pay her for it and I already pay out so much for what she already does. It is so hard as you all know. And twice as hard to lose weight and exercise. Last night, I didnt have time for dinner....by the time everything was done it was 9:30 and I was just too tired to make something healthy and decided not to eat at all and go to bed. It is murder on my metabolism I know. Plus I wake up starving. I struggle with fatigue (which I know is a result of being overweight) and it is very hard to get up early and "workout". I don't even know what I could do other that some exercise video if I could get up early enough to do it. Any suggestions? I am so exhausted on the weekends....I often think i should walk with my son through the neighborhood but can't seem to get the energy to do it. And right now I actually can't as I had foot surgery about 6 weeks ago and still not up to par to do any exercise, but that is another story...Dating? Lord, when could I fit that in? If I ever get free time to myself, I would much rather do absolutely nothing. I know that sounds nuts but I run, run, run and when he is not here I just veg, watch something other than SpongeBob on the TV and usually go back to cleaning , laundry and whatever I can do while he is not there and distracting. I could go on and on, but I appreciate reading all your posts and getting ideas. So if you have any for me let me know! I congratulate all of you on making the effort to live a healthier life. I hope to get there real soon!
  • A older topic... but don't feel bad if you need some time off, especially as a 24/7/365 parent! My son's dad is in his life and takes him every other weekend (he lives 2 hours away so those are his only days unless something special comes up) and I still NEED a break. I'm a introvert in an extrovert job (teaching) and with a pretty extroverted 5 year old, so it wears on me at times. I know I'd be a bit crazier if I didn't have those weekends. I am military and when it comes time to transfer I might be further from his dad.. and then I'll feel the emotional crunch more. Hopefully I stay as strong as the rest of you.
  • jenny10187
    jenny10187 Posts: 4 Member
    Just joined the group! I am 26 years old at 193 lbs.I'm full time single mother of 1 and 5 year old girls! I attend college full time as well and on a tight budget! Over the past 2 years I've been very proud of my accomplishments after leaving an abusive relationship. Now its time to take care of my health and get back into shape!

    I tried MFP a year ago and lost 10 lbs but since than i have gained 20 lbs! This time I WILL NOT quit!

    Fitting time around my school schedule and picking up kids from school/daycare is difficult but i'm very determined. Unfortunately, I am a very picky eater and if you are able to suggest any healthy meals I'd love to try them out!

    Currently, I go to the gym 5 days a week (only my first week back) sticking to weight training circuit and the cross ramp. Having a hard time branching out to other workouts! I plan on beginning the C25K in a month after I've gotten used to being back to the gym. I also would like to begin the Jillian Michael 30 Day Shred in the mornings before school (having a hard time finding the energy for that)

    Anyways, all the support & motivation would be great. Send me a friend request! Thank You! Wish you all the best with your fitness journey!
  • Ambrosia29
    Ambrosia29 Posts: 40 Member
    Raising hand! I've been alone with my 7 yo daughter for 4 years now. Though she's my world...I'm ready to date again, but it's scary dating as a solo parent.

    Yeah, I've been single since I was six months pregnant with my daughter and though she's only a few months old now, I'm a little worried about getting back into dating again too.
  • Hi folks!

    I am a full time single mom of a 10.5 year old boy. I've been single since I was 6 months pregnant.

    It's really hard work! Discipline-wise, and financially. Sometimes I can't handle the stress of things.... Which sucks for my waistline since I am an emotional eater.

    That being said, me and my son have a very close relationship - many of my married-couple friends are envious of it.

    Feel free to add me!
  • my_chrystal82
    my_chrystal82 Posts: 46 Member
    I'm a full time single/sole support parent-always have been and honestly, don't think I could ever deal with co-parenting. My kids are 13 and 8 now, and after starting out as an 18 year old mom on welfare, I am very proud of how I have managed to improve our lives-through MY hard work alone!
    I completely understand about wanting something more, especially when it comes to getting a break. We have to take care of ourselves and listen to the quiet sometimes! Without an active co-parent and little family support, I am always trying to enjoy the small moments by myself. As an introvert, I need time by myself to recharge properly. Sometimes, this means I take a really long trip to the grocery store.Which can also backfire and leave you feeling pitiful and like you have no life.

    I suppose that is part of the reason I have reached 324Ibs. That was super freaky, just to type. No one knows that number! Time to take care of me, before I'm not here to care for anyone.