Eating plans and abstinence

blaiseastra

Hi all,

I'd love to hear more about how others define abstinence and what your eating plans are. For me, I worked with a nutritionist and created a pretty strict/controlled plan that follows the American Diabetic Association model (where you have different food group exchanges), so I have the skeleton of a plan that I can then use to substitute in whatever I want on a given day for protein, starch, fruits/veg, and so on. I've heard other people say their plan of eating is different than their abstinence--it's a tool that helps them with abstinence. For me, the two are pretty much one and the same: if I'm following my meal plan, I'm abstinent. If I'm not, I'm not.

Here are some of my guidelines for abstinence: I do OA-HOW (http://how-oa.org/dotnetnuke/Home.aspx), so I weigh and measure all my food. I email my sponsor every night what I will eat the next day. I don't eat any refined sugar or processed flour, and I only drink water (except milk in the morning and a fiber drink at night). I pretty much stick to whole foods or "clean eating" as they're calling it these days. What I have found works for me (though I'm not sure it would work for others) is basically to just eat the same meals over and over. I *can* change things up if I WANT to, but the truth is, even when I was binging I was eating the same thing day after day--it was just a lot less healthy food. I'm pretty content eating the same meals every day as long as I enjoy them; I don't get bored easily I guess. I'm sure there may come a time when I get tired of something and change things up for a while, but this is what's working for me now! Next weekend I'll get my 90 day chip!

What do you all do to practice abstinence?

Blaise

youthlaxmom

Hi there! I also understand following my meal plan, thus, not using my trigger foods, = abstinence. I understand they are different topics, but i see them as the same. I believe they have to be different for everyone and allow them to do what works for them. I hope to be able to follow the old school grey sheet OA used someday. I am not there today. No sugar, refined flour, in first four ingredients. I did that from memory so forgive me if I screwed it up. Today is Day 1 for me. I have tried to get clean multiple times with too much room for error, OR since I was still on carbs (which I call crack) I just could not stop using. So I chose to go back to a program of detox with a lot of supplements and clean protein to clean me off the carbs/sugar aka crack. I am glad I found this group and will read the posts as part of my reading when I feel weak/start to tweak... Lol... Have a great day and journey!

CoCoMa

Abstinence for me is simply sticking to my plan, eating three meals a day, and avoiding trigger foods that would raise my blood sugar. The tool I use is planning my menu every day and sharing it with someone (usually my DH), but when I make changes to my food plan, I share with my sponsor. Early on in the program, I called in my menu every day to my sponsor, but now I check in with her a few times a week, as I've become more comfortable being on my own, but not without SOS moments. I like variety and get bored easily but I stay within the confines of my plan, whatever that may be at the time.
My DH and I are planning a road trip from southern Cali to New Orleans, then on the way back, we’ll stop in New Mexico. It will be interesting being on the road while maintaining abstinence. I’ll have to check in to this forum every day for additional support, if my cell signal allows.
Youthlaxmom, I tried to follow the grey sheet and it was too restrictive for me, but I hope it works for you as it's your goal. Glad to see that you have recommitted to abstinence.

youthlaxmom

CoCoMa, yes I am nervous about getting to the grey sheet level as well. I'm not thinking about it today. One day at a time now. I just know sugar and carbs are a real trigger for me. I have a meal plan chosen for me to help with addiction and looks good but more work than I am used to. I'll modify if needed but goal is simply stay clean and start measuring. Let us know when your vacation is. We will be with you in spirit!

blaiseastra

It's funny, until you guys mentioned it I was not familiar with the grey sheet. I googled it and wow! It does look really restrictive! I think that, for me, following that would be asking for trouble. I wonder (without knowing a lot about the history of it) whether it is more from the point in history when OA was focused only on overeaters/bingers? It seems like for someone in OA who has struggled with anorexia (which, to be clear, is NOT me), asking them to follow such a restrictive plan would actually feed their illness? Just speculating, I don't really know. But either way, I'm glad abstinence is something that we are able to define on a more individual basis, because what works for one person doesn't work for everyone!

I actually developed my meal plan (on my sponsor's recommendation/insistence) with a nutritionist who specializes in working with OA members (http://www.lisamerrill.com/). I've seen lots of nutritionists in the past but never one who focused on compulsive overeaters, and I think she really understood my needs better than some other people I've worked with. She basically developed the following structure for me, which has worked really well so far:

Breakfast:
2 starch
2 protein
1 milk

AM Snack:
1 fruit
1 protein

Lunch:
2 starches
4 protein
1 fruit
1 veggie

Dinner:
4 protein
2 starch
2 veggie
1 fruit
3 fat

Optional PM snack:
1 starch
1 milk
1 fruit

On average that gives me around 1600-1800 calories a day, depending on what I choose, and in my experience that's been MORE than sufficient. My average weight loss is around 2-2.5 lbs a week (but I started VERY heavy). Also within the above framework, I obey the no processed sugar/no white flour rule. I haven't cut out ALL simple carbs (e.g., I have potatoes), but so far these basic guidelines have kept me abstinent!

Thanks for sharing your approaches--very interesting!

CoCoMa

I believe that whatever goal that you have has to be realistic and doable for the long haul, but with adjustments as you evolve. I also discover new trigger foods that I wasn't aware of in the past, which aren't unhealthy, so I have to stay on top of my feelings with food. Blaise, you have a nice solid plan that looks pretty balanced.

wizbeth1218

Interesting read! I appreciate the question and the responses, as I have wondered the same thing.

I, too, find that my eating plan and abstinence go hand in hand. When I am following my eating plan, I am - by my own definition - being abstinent.

Over the last 7 months I have found that I have needed to add a few things to both my eating plan (like a minimum daily calorie intake) and my list of triggers to avoid.

Exercise is also a big part of my eating plan/abstinence. I know that's not an OA thing, but I have found that I need to make physical activity as much of a priority as proper nutrition, or else I tend to become a bit (or a lot) of a couch potato.

Springfield_Rocks

fyi about the grey sheet.

it is too restrictive and not something to do long term. some choose to do the grey sheet for a while and then change their abstinence to maintaince type stuff later on like three meals nothing in between etc.

i believe OA is a growth process and abstinence/food plans cans be discussed with your doctor or sponsor.

all or nothing mentality is what got us here in the first place.

being too restrictive will make you feel deprived and depressed. that being said three meals is not a free pass to eat all kinds of junk. honesty plays a huge role. besides to begin we must admit there is a problem right? so stuffing our faces and calling that abstinence is a bad move.

blaiseastra

fyi about the grey sheet.

it is too restrictive and not something to do long term. some choose to do the grey sheet for a while and then change their abstinence to maintaince type stuff later on like three meals nothing in between etc.

i believe OA is a growth process and abstinence/food plans cans be discussed with your doctor or sponsor.

all or nothing mentality is what got us here in the first place.

being too restrictive will make you feel deprived and depressed. that being said three meals is not a free pass to eat all kinds of junk. honesty plays a huge role. besides to begin we must admit there is a problem right? so stuffing our faces and calling that abstinence is a bad move.

Thanks for that perspective on the grey sheet! I totally agree with you--I'm sure my eating plans will change over time! I fully expect them to, as, though I really like my program at the moment, there are things I think I would be frustrated with long term. For example, to follow this program I have to weigh and measure things, which makes eating out (especially spur of the moment) very difficult. I have only ate out once when abstinent, and I specifically chose a mongolian barbeque since I could weigh out each individual portion as I put it in my bowl. And even that was awkward because it meant bringing a food scale and measuring cup with me to a restaurant--fortunately my friends knew about my program and didn't make me feel weird about doing it.

The other thing that is a challenge is how to deal with mixed entrees, etc. Like, if I wanted spaghetti and meat sauce (which, right now, I wouldn't trust myself to eat as it's something I used to binge on, but I'd like to dream that at some point in the future I could have it again--we shall see!), obviously I can weigh out the pasta, but the meat sauce would be hard to classify as x amount of protein and x amount of vegetables, since they are so combined. I'm sure my nutritionist could help me with this question if I was really facing it, but there are LOTS of foods like this and I can't just call her up 24-7 with food questions.

So at some point in the future I'd love it if my food plan could be a little more flexible. But I'm not really worried about it now (one day at a time!) since right now I'm happy and satisfied and SO grateful to finally have some peace of mind around this issue, which has plagued me my whole freaking life!

Terri_Wickwire

This is SO cool -- like walking into a meeting! Very awesome.

I am on day 7 of changing to a vegetarian lifestyle. I'm an animal advocate, and can no longer justify having a business with vegan products, rescuing animals and eating meat -- knowing the amount of suffering being inflicted via factory farming and the lack of consciousness regarding spay/neutering of pets ... They just don't jibe. I just got done making chick peas with veggies and it came out pretty good, in spite of shooting from the hip!

My food plan is open, with the exception of the refined sugar/white flour. That is a slippery slope to avoid at all costs. Making the change from a meat based plan (a LOT of meat) is quite different, and my abstinence is an ongoing discovery. This I do know: Breaking my abstinence starts in my head with those creepy crawly slithery thoughts of "just one bite". For instance, I made my lunch and included two slices of whole grain bread in the plan. Looked at my calories. Know I will probably eat out tonight if I connect with women at a meeting I'm going to (which will get out late with an hour drive each way). I thought "hmmm" and pulled out one of the slices of bread and felt comfortable with what I saw. However, now I'm still kinda hungry and that toasted piece of bread looks mighty fine -- but I have gained enough connection between my stomach and my heart to know I really truly am not hungry for that bread. Even though I had planned it in (and still could, if I were hungry), putting into a baggie for tomorrow is the wise, safe choice. But man my teeth wanna sink into that LOL

I am SO grateful that I'm making these changes. After 7 days I can feel the inflammation reducing in my joints, my flexibility increasing, and my frustration levels decreasing. Whew. It's nice.

Life is a gift. I have two choices: Unwrap it and revel in the surprises. Or spend my day angry, frustrated and looking for my next fix. For today -- I'll take the gift.
:flowerforyou:

Terri_Wickwire

I just want to add in here -- a note to myself, basically -- that I started physical therapy today for my issues occurring from 2 separate auto accidents in March 2013. I was feeling pretty damn spry and chipper after 2 weeks of lots of pain. This helped with abstinence, moving into vegetarian eating, etc. After therapy today, I felt a LOT of pain -- as though it were over 2 weeks ago when the pain really started. That made the decision to NOT go to the meeting this month, which meant no eating dinner out with friends. So I chose 2 healthy snacks. It pushes the edges of abstinence for me. Just to be honest.

jessiekanga

I just want to add in here -- a note to myself, basically -- that I started physical therapy today for my issues occurring from 2 separate auto accidents in March 2013. I was feeling pretty damn spry and chipper after 2 weeks of lots of pain. This helped with abstinence, moving into vegetarian eating, etc. After therapy today, I felt a LOT of pain -- as though it were over 2 weeks ago when the pain really started. That made the decision to NOT go to the meeting this month, which meant no eating dinner out with friends. So I chose 2 healthy snacks. It pushes the edges of abstinence for me. Just to be honest.

Hang in there!!! Sorry it's so painful. You are resilient as all heck though. Not to minimize a thing, only to honor your persistence and choices. Keep plugging.

Terri_Wickwire

Thanks Jessie! Threw off my food today and not drinking enough water. Tomorrow is a fresh start!