Frustrated even with success

Joleen_J2004

So I know that I have had three weeks of great accountability...I've really been able to track what I've eaten, pick much better food choices and have really felt empowered...but when I have set backs like when I'm extra hungry, or when I'm frustrated because I have a poor exercise day, on come the conflicted feelings, t he negative self-talk, ignoring the fact that I've already SEEN weight loss since I started...and then I hit a drive through...I know even with that I'm still well below the calories that I used to eat three weeks ago on a daily basis, but how can I keep from stuffing myself when I want to stuff my feelings? I'm already journaling and in therapy and still going through these things... :frown:

PhylNYC62

I have to say, I am a psychologist and I have some of the same issues. Not so much the negative self talk, but the self-sabotage. I think that maybe we eat to not only stuff feelings but to cover them or replace them with something that feels good, which is food. If we ate healthy (even when stuffing feelings) we wouldn't be here.

Believe it or not, I knew I was an emotional eater, but I never made the connection to the fact that I ate to avoid negative feelings when I was upset, until recently. Does it stop it? No. But I think it slows it down. I also wonder if people sabotage at times because when you get skinny, you get attention and some of us are not sure what to do with that.

Just some ramblings.

petstorekitty

I'm a secret eater so I would often times just go eat drive-thru because "It's ONLY 800 calories"
but I'd have had lunch already or whatever.

Even when we succeed I think some of us still never feel like it's good enough and so why power through?
"So I lost X amount of pounds, so what? I'm still fat. Wah. Oh look, McDs. Yay!" (I love McDonald's BTW)

It is really about figuring out what causes the problem and then doing our best to avoid it.
For me it is boredom (easily avoided actually) and stress (not always so easy - but a lot of my stress comes from not communicating to anyone about what I'm stressing over!)

If I wanna binge I often reach out andmake it a joke. I often find that whoever I reach out to totally gets it.
me texting a friend: "I'm so emo right now, I want to go eat 9 cakes. :''("
Friend: "ya my day at work was ****ty and now I have to go home to a broken air conditioner."

Also, Not stuffing tons of food in my face is reminding myself that I HAVE made progress before but it was when I DIDN'T eat 9 cakes, so maybe I won't go eat 9 cakes.

KathleenSweetie

I understand and relate. When I know something is coming up that I have to do or someone that I have to talk to about something important, I crave food, just food. When I acknowledge that I'm bored, again I crave food. I've only found a few things to replace those impulses - a long shower, doing a small household chore, going on the computer. I noticed the bigger the stress, the more I want food and the more I fight to not give in. And then I feel like I want more sugar. I haven't faced a lot of stress along my journey to eat healthier - I'm trying not going to sabotage myself.

lenoresaari

Like what everyone has said; I can relate to becoming more mindful of my eating and my thoughts. Have to watch that self talk and avoid self depracating comments especially when the sh hits the fan which it does regularly in life. Starting to say more positive things to myself. It really has made a difference.
Day to day ordinary stresses can bring me down; I am glad to have others who understand and are supportive.

jkgillia

I agree, it's like i get stressed, or sad or happy or bored. I feel like the scale always stays the same, so what's the point of giving up the fried chicken and ice cream, if I'm not getting thinner anyways.
But I suppose these are the same sort of self sabotaging thoughts that got me here to begin with... It's helpful to know I'm not alone though.

JMock13

I get what everyone is saying. Its like you just get so frustrated with life in general that it seems like whatever you do it just isn't enough. I tend to do that when im bored/stressed/etc but then I feel really horrible b/c I ate no matter what it is I still feel guilty and then I just want to do what I shldnt and then I feel even worse. its like a never ending struggle.

F1ress

I can honestly relate to this as well. It's a vicious cycle....

You need to remember that you are worth it and to take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. It's very hard to do, especially on low days when you just want to sabotage any happiness by eating or arguing with loved ones.

I am currently seeing a therapist about my low self esteem and depression which causes me to eat. One of the most important tools I am learning is mindfulness. I am using it to try and remember every day to thank myself for the little things I have done to take care of myself. Whether it's getting out of bed on a weekend, or getting up from my desk at work and stretching, or getting myself a drink - because I struggle most of the time to do all those things... And now that I am trying to tackle my weight, I am thankful to myself for making healthy food and drink choices that mean I don't wake up every morning with kidney, leg or back pain. (One of the joys of weighing over 300lbs).

It does take a LOT of practice and patience but I can definitely say, I am starting to like myself a little more, especially when I have done something to help myself.

JenCHG

I hear you I got through spells In especially hard times and trail times in Life...the only thing "WE" can do is find something that works and stick to it, even when you think it isn't.:drinker: cheers Jen

JenCHG

thank you! love this Comment...Jen

I can honestly relate to this as well. It's a vicious cycle....

You need to remember that you are worth it and to take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. It's very hard to do, especially on low days when you just want to sabotage any happiness by eating or arguing with loved ones.

I am currently seeing a therapist about my low self esteem and depression which causes me to eat. One of the most important tools I am learning is mindfulness. I am using it to try and remember every day to thank myself for the little things I have done to take care of myself. Whether it's getting out of bed on a weekend, or getting up from my desk at work and stretching, or getting myself a drink - because I struggle most of the time to do all those things... And now that I am trying to tackle my weight, I am thankful to myself for making healthy food and drink choices that mean I don't wake up every morning with kidney, leg or back pain. (One of the joys of weighing over 300lbs).

It does take a LOT of practice and patience but I can definitely say, I am starting to like myself a little more, especially when I have done something to help myself.