Social life on a diet- a pick me up!
elfo
Posts: 353 Member
This is from my blog (www.tobecrude.wordpress.com), but I wanted to share it here with you all. Check out the blog if you like...
(Anti)Social life- A better you!
So you finally got to a place where you feel you’ve made some positive changes in your life, and then you look up and realize, you’re all alone?
Why is it that when we want to partake in sabotaging behavior there’s always someone around to play partner in crime, but the minute we try to turn things around every one runs the opposite direction? The reality is that the people we surround ourselves with are a reflection of the person we are. Ever hear the term “sleep with the dogs and you wake up with fleas”? This is not to say that the people in our lives are bad people, but there may just be a direct correlation between our unhealthy habits and the people who we surround ourselves with. I’m not saying that we need to cut people out of our lives, but rather finding new balance by introducing people who support our new lifestyles.
There have been people that I’ve chosen to cut out of my life because I’ve noticed that certain relationships were as toxic as my previous habits. Sometimes the psychological changes we undergo are more difficult than the physical ones.
Don’t hate the player, hate the game…
If you are on a path to a healthier diet, do not fault others for pulling you back. First you need to understand that the system has brainwashed people into thinking that a coffee for breakfast, a yogurt as mid-day snack, a diet coke with a tuna salad sandwich for lunch, and a grilled chicken salad is a healthy way to go. The US is becoming an over-fed, under-nourished population. We are hungry, but food is not enough. Do you ever see anyone binging on bananas because they’ve had a bad day? What we associate as “comfort food” sends chemical signals into our brain much like heroin. So how does a heroin junkie get off the junk – detox, and it’s the same for junk food.
It may seem like hibernation and alienation, but why not take the time to enjoy that. Take the time, to find yourself again. Turn down a couple happy hours, birthday parties, and dinners with loved ones. You might feel like the world is having fun without you, but instead of focusing on what you’re giving up take all your energy and focus on what you have to gain. surround yourself with positive images, educate yourself as much as possible, and try to find new activities that are more inline with who you’d like to be.
I know it can sound intimidating to put yourself in situations, you might not feel you’re ready for, but try to visualize yourself already in the place where you’d like to be, thinking back to the point where you are now. What would you tell yourself, already having pushed through achieving all that you desire? Remember, everyone had to start somewhere. I promis you, the more you push yourself outside your comfort zone, the easier it gets.
Try to find people that you admire, ask them questions, study them, try to see how they got to where they are today. You know what they say, “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”. Try to find meet-ups in your town for things you’d like to enjoy.
When I first started eating raw vegan, people I called friends stared to distance themselves from me. I used to go out and party quite frequently, and when I had traded in my dirty martini for a straight up seltzer, the phone sorta stopped ringing. In the end, it turned out to be a really good thing. It gave me a chance to focus on myself without having conflicting wants of trying to be healthy and wanting to go out with my friends. I researched non-food or alcohol related activities, and found someone that was interested in at least one of the activities, which gave me a chance to get to spend one-on-one time with some of my friends. Also, I researched a lot of raw or vegan restaurants, and would recommend these to friends for the next time we were all going out to eat. This wasn’t always easy, and my guy friends would make comments like “ok, we;ll go to the vegan place and then go get a burger afterwards”, but in the end they all loved the food and were too stuffed for the burgers.
No one said it would be easy, but over time you will find that things get easier. I’ve found that the stages for transition are very similar to those of grief, and if you think about it, it makes sense because the people around you (as well as yourself) are in a way losing the old person you used to be, but give them a chance, and if they are truly on your side, they will come to love the new and improved version of YOU!
Here are the stages, as I’ve seen them:
1. Denial and Isolation: People think you’re going through a phase. They get defensive and try to make jokes or stay away until you “come to your senses”.
2. Anger: People begin to realize, this is more than just a phase and they feel they’re loosing you to something else. Things start getting personal and sometimes people get offended.
3. Bargaining: “It’s just one french fry, beer, cigarette…” Just remember every time you say “no, thank you I’m good” you’re nurturing your future self as you’d like to be, and every time you give in you distance yourself from the person you deserve to be.
4. Depression: You start to feel like you gave up more than you have to gain. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT STAGE. If you can get past this- you can get past anything! This is where they say “when the going gets tough, the tough get going!” This is where most people just give up. You need to trust somewhere deep deep deep down inside that this WILL work, and just when you think you can’t push anymore, push harder! This is what separates the winners from the loosers, and you my friend are a winner!
5. Acceptance: People around you start accepting the new person you’ve become, and you yourself have gotten used to your new skin. You’re no longer trying to be something, you just are. This is the greatest feeling you will come to know. The feeling of having wanted something so badly, having worked your *kitten* off for it, and having achieved it! This is the stuff that life is made for! This is bliss!
I wish you all the best on your journeys to come! Make sure that you are continually making goals that point you in the direction YOU want your life to go, and always stop to be grateful for what you have and all that you’ve achieved!
(Anti)Social life- A better you!
So you finally got to a place where you feel you’ve made some positive changes in your life, and then you look up and realize, you’re all alone?
Why is it that when we want to partake in sabotaging behavior there’s always someone around to play partner in crime, but the minute we try to turn things around every one runs the opposite direction? The reality is that the people we surround ourselves with are a reflection of the person we are. Ever hear the term “sleep with the dogs and you wake up with fleas”? This is not to say that the people in our lives are bad people, but there may just be a direct correlation between our unhealthy habits and the people who we surround ourselves with. I’m not saying that we need to cut people out of our lives, but rather finding new balance by introducing people who support our new lifestyles.
There have been people that I’ve chosen to cut out of my life because I’ve noticed that certain relationships were as toxic as my previous habits. Sometimes the psychological changes we undergo are more difficult than the physical ones.
Don’t hate the player, hate the game…
If you are on a path to a healthier diet, do not fault others for pulling you back. First you need to understand that the system has brainwashed people into thinking that a coffee for breakfast, a yogurt as mid-day snack, a diet coke with a tuna salad sandwich for lunch, and a grilled chicken salad is a healthy way to go. The US is becoming an over-fed, under-nourished population. We are hungry, but food is not enough. Do you ever see anyone binging on bananas because they’ve had a bad day? What we associate as “comfort food” sends chemical signals into our brain much like heroin. So how does a heroin junkie get off the junk – detox, and it’s the same for junk food.
It may seem like hibernation and alienation, but why not take the time to enjoy that. Take the time, to find yourself again. Turn down a couple happy hours, birthday parties, and dinners with loved ones. You might feel like the world is having fun without you, but instead of focusing on what you’re giving up take all your energy and focus on what you have to gain. surround yourself with positive images, educate yourself as much as possible, and try to find new activities that are more inline with who you’d like to be.
I know it can sound intimidating to put yourself in situations, you might not feel you’re ready for, but try to visualize yourself already in the place where you’d like to be, thinking back to the point where you are now. What would you tell yourself, already having pushed through achieving all that you desire? Remember, everyone had to start somewhere. I promis you, the more you push yourself outside your comfort zone, the easier it gets.
Try to find people that you admire, ask them questions, study them, try to see how they got to where they are today. You know what they say, “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”. Try to find meet-ups in your town for things you’d like to enjoy.
When I first started eating raw vegan, people I called friends stared to distance themselves from me. I used to go out and party quite frequently, and when I had traded in my dirty martini for a straight up seltzer, the phone sorta stopped ringing. In the end, it turned out to be a really good thing. It gave me a chance to focus on myself without having conflicting wants of trying to be healthy and wanting to go out with my friends. I researched non-food or alcohol related activities, and found someone that was interested in at least one of the activities, which gave me a chance to get to spend one-on-one time with some of my friends. Also, I researched a lot of raw or vegan restaurants, and would recommend these to friends for the next time we were all going out to eat. This wasn’t always easy, and my guy friends would make comments like “ok, we;ll go to the vegan place and then go get a burger afterwards”, but in the end they all loved the food and were too stuffed for the burgers.
No one said it would be easy, but over time you will find that things get easier. I’ve found that the stages for transition are very similar to those of grief, and if you think about it, it makes sense because the people around you (as well as yourself) are in a way losing the old person you used to be, but give them a chance, and if they are truly on your side, they will come to love the new and improved version of YOU!
Here are the stages, as I’ve seen them:
1. Denial and Isolation: People think you’re going through a phase. They get defensive and try to make jokes or stay away until you “come to your senses”.
2. Anger: People begin to realize, this is more than just a phase and they feel they’re loosing you to something else. Things start getting personal and sometimes people get offended.
3. Bargaining: “It’s just one french fry, beer, cigarette…” Just remember every time you say “no, thank you I’m good” you’re nurturing your future self as you’d like to be, and every time you give in you distance yourself from the person you deserve to be.
4. Depression: You start to feel like you gave up more than you have to gain. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT STAGE. If you can get past this- you can get past anything! This is where they say “when the going gets tough, the tough get going!” This is where most people just give up. You need to trust somewhere deep deep deep down inside that this WILL work, and just when you think you can’t push anymore, push harder! This is what separates the winners from the loosers, and you my friend are a winner!
5. Acceptance: People around you start accepting the new person you’ve become, and you yourself have gotten used to your new skin. You’re no longer trying to be something, you just are. This is the greatest feeling you will come to know. The feeling of having wanted something so badly, having worked your *kitten* off for it, and having achieved it! This is the stuff that life is made for! This is bliss!
I wish you all the best on your journeys to come! Make sure that you are continually making goals that point you in the direction YOU want your life to go, and always stop to be grateful for what you have and all that you’ve achieved!
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