How to deal with a triggering environment?

mmmartje

Hi everyone, I was wondering if any of you have any experience or advice with my situation, I could really use it!

I'm a 22 year old and I I have been living on my own since I was 18 and have been slowly losing weight since then. Being able to control what is in the house and also when I eat (I absolutely loathe being famished but still having to wait another hour for dinner) has definitely been a factor in my weight loss.

However I regularly visit my parents for the weekend and always, go over my calories and often binge terribly. I think it has to do with feeling out of control. I can't control what we're having for dinner or when we're having it and have no clue as to the calories of those meals. And also, while there are quite a few healthy options in the house there's also some very tempting foods which trigger binges for me.

It's turned into a bit of a long story but my question to you is: how do I stop binging and grazing when I'm at my parents house?

I'd like to be happy to visit because I do love my parents a lot and they have health problems so I feel it's extra important to make the most out of our time together. I'd like to not dread binging when I visit, but I don't know how to not feel so out of control with regard to my nutrition but know they won't like it if I attempt to log the meals they make.

Graelwyn75

I get the same problem when I go and stay with my mother, which happens about every 2-3 months and involves meals out all the time, which I am not used to. I go with the best of intentions and take some of my own foods, but the most I manage to do well for is a day. The meals out and the choices and the conflict between what I feel I should be eating, and what I want to eat, seem to cause me to just let go altogether. She keeps cereal and cookies in, things I avoid having around as I can go crazy on them if left to my own devices. She knows my issue, but I have to ask for her to take the cookies into her room at night, and I never dare ask for the same with the various boxes of cereal. I usually end up sabotaging myself in the end by buying extra things.

I think it is because going from my own environment, where I am very ocd, very controlling, very miserable and quite regimented, to this clean, pleasant place where I have companionship and a total change of routine, puts me into a sort of vacation mode. Suddenly, for those few days, on some level, my need for control reduces. I have yet to find a solution. In your case, you maybe need to not fear the meals so much, and just accept you might be on maintenance calories for a few days, and not allow that to impel you to let go altogether. Also, ask yourself if your tendency to binge at your parents is connected to emotions connected to that environment and your parents health, as much as anything else.

mmmartje

I think you might be right about me eating more to deal with the stress of them not being well. Unlike you it doesn't really feel like vacation mode, I sometimes feel a little younger and there's generally a lot to do, while being at home feels more to being on my schedule. When it comes to food there have actually been many improvements these past few years. My parents now cook (my dad's become a bit of cooking fanatic in fact) and we eat at the dinner table. Usually it's healthy even if it's not low in calories.
So it might be better to focus on health and how wonderful it is we can spend that time together and indeed, not 'fear' those meals and just accept to be at maintenance or over and not to let that derail me to go way over. That is actually fine I don't want or need to lose much more weight, and would like to focus now on creating/maintaining a healthy lifestile and also having a healthy mind. I think I may have been a little negative in my post but sometimes it's good to vent. This is why I love this community, instead of mindlessly eating and entire box of cookies I can reflect and work on myself a little. I really appreciate your input on this, it helps to get an outsider perspective.
I have in the past bought food to snack on while visiting and for me it did work. I got a large bag of baby carrots which were delicious and fill me right up.

Graelwyn75

I usually take hard boiled eggs, greek yoghurt, carrots, apples and roasted chickpeas. The latter are very filling and a great crunchy snack with a little seasoning. And yes, good idea to focus on totally enjoying the meals, the company, and stashing it away in your memory. And remembering that when you binge while there, you are in a sense, almost punishing yourself for enjoying a normal meal. And taking away from a positive experience.

mmmartje

O those are some great snacks! I think you're really on to something when you say I'm almost punishing myself for enjoying a normal meal.
It's good to be vigilant of becoming a bit too strict and forgetting that life doesn't revolve around food or especially weight loss. Seeing how I am near my goals I think it might be good for me to take that to heart and maybe try a week on maintenance level and see how that feels.

tequila09

i went to my parent's house last week for spring break and i did well the first day but went crazy from tuesday-saturday. i just lost complete control and ate a ridiculous amount of food. i have no advice but i can relate.

greekygirl

I am in my triggering environment five days a week - at work! It's very difficult for me to get a number of days strung together because of it. Some days are easier than others and I don't always binge/eat/graze every day, thankfully, but it can be hard to resist. I believe it's because of stress, not feeling like working or being at work, and boredom. Also food association - I associate work with food because when I first started there was catering for EVERYTHING. That has since changed due to budget cuts but I still have the association with it. I have thought many times about looking for a new job, but I believe that even if I did get a new job, it would be a temporary fix, at best - like a geographic cure....because wherever I go, there I am and I will still have to deal with the binge problem at some point.

I'm having cravings for something specific and I'm really hoping it will pass. SOON.